[ closedish? ] Jan Logs

[darkcharge]

Who: Vanitas + Various
When: All Month
Where: Varies
What: Closed starters for pre-arranged things. Completely open to plotting all month, just hit me up and we can work something out. Alternatively if you write something up here, I will totally hit that too. I like surprises.
Warnings: PTSD and more to come probably

Comments

Mira

[darkcharge]

When: First week of Jan sometime
Where: House
What: Van's been living there for a couple of weeks now. But things are bothering him and, well...


[ Needless to say that over the course of the last few weeks, Vanitas has claimed at least one space of the house as his own. It's an odd feeling to him, since he hasn't really had something like that before. There are days he doesn't really know what to do with himself because sticking around in one place for an extended period of time is such a foreign concept. Yes, Vanitas goes to sit in on any magic classes, but he's finding that he wanders around the city itself aimlessly less. However, Vanitas does keep to himself primarily, unless dragged around or convinced otherwise.

A lot has happened in the last month and, frankly, it has shaken things up for Vanitas. Quite a bit, actually. There are things that people have been saying to him and so adamant are they with their words that Vanitas doesn't know what to do or what to say. Not even what to think. Therein lies the problem, really, because he's spent so much of his life believing he lies he had been told and the ones that he continues to tell himself or pursuing his goal that he doesn't know what to do when those things are called into question. Which, of course, is just fear. Oh Vanitas knows what the deepest reaches of his heart really wants, but he's pushed that so far down and locked it away that he dares not acknowledge it. During the day it's easy to continue to go on as he always does...

Then the night comes and all of the sudden it's just so much harder. Maybe because the silence allows for Van's mind to race. Perhaps it is because there is nothing to distract him from sitting there and thinking about everyone's instance on things. People telling them that they care about him. That they worry. That he can find his own purpose here away from Xehanort's shadow. Vanitas could work towards becoming whole and somehow still be himself - not that he knows who that could be. ...That Vanitas deserves the love and happiness that he never got before.

And, finally, the implication that everything that he had been through had been wrong. This is probably what Vanitas struggles the most with. Because Van has to hold onto the belief that everything he went through was to make him stronger; the weak have no place and it ultimately benefited him. He's better for it.

But what if he isn't? What if he is in the wrong about all of this? It's that little piece of doubt, fear, hope that usually gets it started. For panic settles in, because all of the sudden his emotions start getting out of control. The room always, always drops several degrees from his own magic here. That's not the worst of it, unfortunately. Just because he cannot create Unversed in these moments anymore doesn't mean that his body doesn't remember what the process is like. Vanitas can feel his throat tightening and something begin to rise - usually whatever he had eaten instead of his own emotions. That's when Van takes off to the bathroom and spills the contents of his stomach.

Only he doesn't really feel better at all. No, unlike when he expels Unversed, Vanitas is still shaking and overwhelmed with his own feelings and more often than not he's huddled in a corner, nails biting into his scalp, as pain is a distraction. It's soemthing he's familiar with and a point of focus. And tonight? Tonight is no different. It doesn't matter that it's cold enough in the bathroom that he can see his breath and frost begins to form on the mirrors.

He just wants it to stop. ]

[inlikethebrume]

[At first, Mira thought he would shake the invitation away. Why stay with a bunch of weirdos who some showed some semblance of caring? Or at least two of them, who knows with Emet. But mostly, it's just been...quiet. Nothing has exploded and the only thing of note Mira knew about was the Flood and Breezy had a few moments where they would stare each other down and carry on with their day. Maybe an animal instinct?

It's again a quiet night and Mira is getting ready for another round of small potion testing when she is close by the bathroom and hears a retching noise. It only takes two seconds for her to rush over to the door and knock on it, hoping the other person isn't passed out.]

Hey! Is everything alright in there?!

[She has no idea who it is but she'll worry anyway.]

[darkcharge]

[ Or maybe the thing with Breezy and the Flood is has to deal with the relationship between Irritation and cats in general. As for Vanitas staying? He thought he would wave off the invitation too, but too many chilly nights might have had something to do with his little change in heart.

What hasn't changed, however, is the fact that Vanitas doesn't like to show weakness. And right now he feels weak. Stupid. Vulnerable. Hearing someone knock on the other side of the door just makes Vanitas curl in on himself more. ]

I'm fine!

[ Go away. ]

[inlikethebrume]

[Hearing Vanitas call out, it makes Mira concerned. He certainly does not sound fine as she puts her hand on the doorknob and twists it, just to check if it is locked or not.]

You do not sound fine. May I come in?

[As tempting as it is to storm into the privy, it will not work here. She can still ask permission before going in because every instinct is telling the dark knight to not leave him alone.]

Emet-Selch

[darkcharge]

When: Pre-kidnapping event sometime
Where: House
What: That Flood he has is still attached to negativity. Guess who has a lot of negative feelings?


[ Suffice to say Vanitas himself is dead to the world on a couch. Between the restless nights and just feeling a touch under the weather, Van has taken to cat naps here and there. Unusual for him, but exhaustion is exhaustion all the same. It's not like he intends to do it. More like he usually has a book in his hand and in the next few minutes? Asleep.

What isn't asleep, however, is that one little Flood. Sure, it isn't able to feed off of negative emotions like it is used to, but that doesn't mean that it isn't still attracted to them. In this house? There can be plenty of that, but the only person aside from Vanitas himself that has the most? That would be one Emet-Selch. The Ascian is like a beacon of negative energy and the Unversed constantly finds itself at least sharing the same space at the man.

That's where it is right now. Just watching Emet-Selch, little ear-like antennae twitching here and there. Oh it isn't getting up in his business. Rather, it just likes too watch. ]

[unsundered]

[Fortunately for everyone involved, Emet-Selch is doing nothing more than practicing some conjuration. Detailed, precise work, the kind that took proper concentration.

Enough so that he's not sure at all when the Flood had joined him. He's never entirely sure when the damned thing turns up, or for that matter how. Could it teleport? Did he keep accidentally closing it in with him? But seeing the small movement of its 'ears' in the corner of his eye finally gets the Ascian's attention. Stopping what he was doing, he turns to face the small creature, an automatic frown crossing his expression.

In the most technical of senses, the Flood was still preferable to Mira's cat. The cat interfered. The Flood just. Stared. Was probably staring? Its weird little face was pointed in his direction anyway, and seemed to be paying attention.]

What do you even get out of this?

[Crossing his arms, he lets out a huff of a breath.]

There's a thing called privacy, you know. Your owner should teach it to you.

[darkcharge]

[ Isn't that touching, that the little fledgling emotion is higher rated than, well, the furry beast that is, probably either with its owner or has seen fit to sleep on Van out in the main room? Though, really, since it is just an extension of Vanitas what does that say?

But no, the little beast doesn't really see fit to disturb Emet-Selch. The question is a good one, because really the Flood doesn't get anything out of this. It now has to rely on food to actually nourish it instead of emotions. However the instincts are really hard to completely ignore, especially when this is what the creature is.

Though it tilts its head to the side when the questions and statements are asked. It does seem to understand what Emet-Selch is saying at the very least. Oh there will be no answer... But it just. Sits.

What's privacy?]

Crystal Exarch

[darkcharge]

When: Beginning of Jan
Where: Coven
What: H-healing magic?


[ Maybe Vanitas should give up by now. He's read anything and everything he can on healing magic. Has tried sitting in on some of the classes before, uh, getting disgusted and just walking out. Some of the philosophies behind it is just a bit confusing for Vanitas. Perhaps less confusing and more like he can't reconcile some of them with who he is. Or maybe he just doesn't understand them. That's entirely possible too.

However he is still at the Coven trying to do perform a simple healing spell anyway. Instead of trying to heal people, Vanitas is working on a plant - one with a leaf plucked off and Vanitas trying to re-attach it. Something simple, right? Not like he is trying to knit flesh back together or anything like that.

But it's not working. There's not even a soft glow from his hand. So Vanitas throws up his hands in the air in frustration. Nothing works. Nothing. So what is he doing wrong? ]

HERE HE IS shb spoilers likely

[exarchal]

[The Exarch has been here long enough to start helping other Witches as they learn their craft, and today is no exception. It's perhaps even more important that Mirrorbound learn to control their powers after the rising tension of the past few months. This happens to be one of those days where he's sent back to the Coven to deliver some healing herbs-- part of his job as an assistant botanist-- and he sticks around for a bit after, seeing if there are any interesting books or facts he can pick up while he's here.

There's someone struggling in the corner, though, and it catches his eye. He watches Vanitas from beneath his hood for a little while to get a grasp of the situation, peering at him over the pages of this advanced book on evocation magic. When Vanitas seems sufficiently stuck, he decides this is the best time to approach.

He moves slowly enough, and with enough noise in his footsteps that Vanitas will be able to hear him coming. He doesn't want to startle the boy. The Exarch is a bit odd, though, standing out with the leather boots beneath his robes and one longer glove on his human arm-- the other, of course, being impossibly cold crystal. Yet his expression is nothing but warmth as he stops and kneels beside Vanitas and the plant.]

You seem to be having some trouble... What is the matter, if I might ask?

[darkcharge]

[ The Exarch is hardly the first, nor the last, weird individual that Vanitas is going to come across. Just look at the individuals that he lives with. He doesn't actually hear anyone approach, just feeling like he should pull out his hair in frustration. Vanitas just doesn't understand what he must be doing wrong? Because he has to be doing something wrong or he just isn't doing it right?

Being asked a question, however, has him lifting his head. Warm smiles aren't really going to help alleviate Van and his default to caution. Though he doesn't know if the kneeling helps or not. Is the action meant to belittle him or... ]

Sharp eyes you got.

[ Yes, he's snippy. He huffs, rubbing at his face. Just this once... ]

I'm trying to learn this magic. Been trying to learn for months.

Viren

[darkcharge]

When: Pre-Snatching event
Where: DiplomaTea
What: A Flood will do what a Flood will do. Usually that means cause trouble.

[ The thing about Unversed in general is that they are attracted to negativity. It doesn't matter what sort of negative feelings are floating around, any will do. Irritation. Anger. Sadness. Bloodlust. Again, anything will do and they aren't particularly picky about the source. Ask Emet-Selch about that. Thus Vanitas' one Flood is often out and about. Usually it is on its own, but this time Vanitas actually isn't that far behind. While not actually keeping an eye on the thing, he doesn't want it getting too far away from him this time. At this distance, it is somewhat easier to control.

Until it takes off into a building. The thing is still smart enough to operate doors as it goes into the shop. Without the direct connection to it, Vanitas has no idea why the thing has elected to run off. With a groan, Vanitas follows, but not at a rushed pace.

As for the Flood itself, well it's probably going to start making a mess of things. ]

[bloodwit]

[ and so the flood does - viren had been tending to the shop, a slow day as it is, able to work during a short-lived peace on the diplomatea's finances and other administrative affairs. tedious work, for certain, but something he was contented with completing. someone had to, after all.

until, of course, this is interrupted by a thing. (a familiar? is his more immediate thought, despite its form being unrecognizable). viren had lifted his gaze as he heard the door chime open, dropped his paperwork, promptly pushed himself to standing with a screech of the chairlegs against the floor. it begins with upending chairs, swiping at plants and their various containers arranged decoratively about the shelves. ]

Enough!

[ it doesn't take much to set viren off, and this situation is no exception. he practically vaults a table, his claws outstretched both in preemptive defense of himself as well as a gesture intended as a threat. it's only a moment in which he observes it from a few feet away, slit pupils dilated. ]

Get out, out—

[darkcharge]

[ If the Unversed are good at one thing, it is bringing out the "best" in people. They thrive off of the negativity and the chaos that follows them. Makes sense, considering their source. Even now, even though this singular Flood cannot actually soak up Viren's growing ire, it still is drawn to it; still desires to create situations where negative emotions can be produced.

It doesn't actually feel all that threatened even with the claws and whatnot. After all, they are a good bit aggressive themselves. A Flood isn't created out of fear so, therefore, how should one expect it to react? ...In this case it is by taking a swipe at Viren the moment he gets too close. ]

That's not a very warm greeting...

[ So Vanitas says as he opens the door and stands there. The Flood doesn't back down, but its hostility does cease. The thing is really more of an inconvenience than it is useful. If Vanitas had his way he'd be rid of it already. ]

No wonder no one is in here buying anything.

a gift | after the holidays

[callmeven]

[it was just a scarf, nothing fancy. red-dyed sheep wool knitted with care by some elderly woman who had a stall set up in the city market. it seemed like a good idea at the time but now ven wasn't so sure.

he has the scarf wrapped in some brown paper and twine, tucked under his arm as he walks down the street. he has a general idea of what he plans to do - find someone who knew vanitas (a friend?) and hope they would give the gift to him. seemed simple enough, but ven was still... hesitant.]

[darkcharge]

[ Vanitas is outside in plain sight. The cold doesn't necessarily bother him at the moment, but maybe that's because he is fussing with one of the other "gifts" he had been given. A spear-making kit.

He doesn't know why he's actually following through with this. Maybe just to kill some time? It's not as if he knows how to use one... ]

[callmeven]

[when he catches sight of vanitas outside it feels like a cruel joke fate was playing on him. he hesitates to approach him at first, swaying back and forth on his feet as he tries to come to a decision.

finally he decides to walk over, tail wagging slowly behind him. hopefully vanitas will hear his footsteps in the crunching snow before ven has to say something.]

Um- hey.

Emet-Selch

[darkcharge]

When: After 1/21
Where: House
What: Snatched Event Aftermath; Emet-Selch has taken to staying in bed and even Vanitas is starting to feel run down.


[ Vanitas is heading towards the old man's room, a tray in hand. Mira is exhausted from the rescue and the trip. Too stressed out by the latest events and in desperate need of a rest. She's done what she can and thus Van's sent her off to actually sleep for a change. Why he feels the need to tell her to do so and why he thinks to finish carrying out her ask... Well that's another thing Vanitas doesn't necessarily want to think on too deeply. If asked, he'll just say that it is convenient. That letting his allies fall into such depressing states don't benefit him at all.

In the end, Vanitas still lies to himself.

Anyway, he pushes his way inside of Emet-Selch's room. The guy is still healing and maybe Vanitas could speed along the process. Might, if asked. However even the teen is starting to feel worn down and off. Van sets the tray - a simple fare of soup, bread, and some water - on one of the bedside tables before taking a few steps back. ]

Hey old man. Dinner.

[unsundered]

[It had been... a long several days after a longer week. And after a bit of healing, a lot of cleaning, and fresh clothes, the Ascian looks... not well, but not nearly so outwardly broken. Inwardly- that was more complicated.

Bandages remain, covering up what's been left to heal on its own. Everything ached, he still favored one arm, even if he could use it again, and he'd probably be walking with a limp for a while after. His right eye, unfortunately, would not recover; though he still has it, it's clouded, blind, fresh scars lead from it to the side of his face and into his hairline.

He's sitting up in bed when the door opens, frowning reflexively at the unexpected sight of Vanitas being the one to intrude on him. Though he had some books with him, he didn't seem to be reading them.

Whenever he wasn't asleep, Emet-Selch still didn't have the energy to go anywhere, so he remained in bed, bored. Alone with his thoughts, which were not very nice thoughts.

His feelings towards company remained the same: mixed. The presence of others tired him further, was an intrusion, and in his current unstable mood, it was hard to tell what would irritate him unreasonably. At the same time, gods, he did not like being alone. As was his unfortunate habit, he held both desires simultaneously, capable of becoming ever more short-tempered and brusque to visitors, while very much not wanting them to leave.

Did this extend to Vanitas? Sort of. The kid had shown up with Mira and Irhya to rescue him, had actually healed him on top of that- and though there were some practical explanations he could come up with for this behavior, it still surprised him. It was still weird. He didn't know what to make of it, and didn't know what he thought of it.]

Yet again I'm surprised to see you turn up.

[Only a bit unfriendly.]

[darkcharge]

[ If roles had been reversed, Van would probably be "in his feelings" like Emet-Selch. Oh he understands the desire to be left alone but to not want to be alone. The attitude the man displays is to be expected. Vanitas doesn't really take offense to it. While it does irritate him somewhat - because really what else could the old man expect of him after showing up to that rescue? - but Vanitas can at least keep Irritation at bay.

But Vanitas had come here with a purpose. After setting the tray down, that purpose has been fulfilled. He has every intention of turning around and leaving Emet-Selch to his self-imposed isolation and misery. Yet he speaks all the same. Vanitas recognizes it for what it is: an invitation for conversation that Emet-Selch half hopes won't be taken, but will be offended if not returned. ]

Shouldn't be all that surprised. Everyone is pretty exhausted and spent. You can't expect the other two to be the only ones doing anything around here.

[ And then his Flood hops up on the bed. It is going to make itself comfortable there. Looks like Emet-Slech will have company regardless. ]

pre kidnapping

[mirrortide]

[Lapis is in the library. Why is she in the library? To get some information, obviously. Fire magic still annoys and alludes her and she's not a fan of it.

Also not a fan of finding A Body on the floor of library.

She looks left. Looks right, looks for anyone who might be able to help her, and... Nada. Zip. Zilch. No one else is around, because of course there isn't anyone around when needed. That's just how things tend to shake out for her.

Cautiously, she nudges the body with a foot, unsure if it's alive or dead.]

Hhhhello?

[darkcharge]

[ Look, it isn't as if Vanitas likes this new habit of his of just dropping off into naps in the middle of the day. He really doesn't intend to do it at all. One moment he is just reading and the next? Out like a light. If only he could have this problem at night when it is the proper time to sleep.

To be fair, he isn't sure how he got on the floor either. But he can feel the nudging and it does make him stir. Normally Vanitas would immediately be on edge, but it is taking longer and longer for him to wake up. ]

Go away...

[ He's alive, thanks. ]

[mirrortide]

Oh good, you're alive. I was worried for a second that I'd have to tell someone I found a body.

[Pleasant, honestly.

She nudges him again with her foot. It's fairly gentle now.]

You probably shouldn't be sleeping here though? Just a thought.

Ventus | post kidnapping

[darkcharge]

[ Everyone in the household has been feeling a bit stretched thin. Emet-Selch is still in bed, recovering from his injuries. Mira has been running around, exhausting herself to the point of being unable to stand. Irhya... Well she has been beating things senseless to work out her frustration.

Vanitas? He's just been tired. More and more tired with every passing day. He's falling asleep in places he shouldn't be. Right now, though, he is more focused on making sure that Mira actually rests. So Van is out with a shopping list. Doing what he can. ]

[callmeven]

[ventus was tired, but the thought of laying in bed for another moment felt impossible now. his dreams were haunted by memories he'd rather forget completely and his muscles ached from resting so much since being rescued.

he just wanted to move around and the call from the coven to speak about what happened felt like the perfect excuse. at least looking like he did now most everyone left him alone. he could ignore the pity in their stares when they saw his scars and the limp he had walking with the crutch.

the stop by the grocery store was last minute and only because ventus remembered they were missing a few things back home. he could at least pick up some things before coming back. what he doesn't expect walking through the door was very nearly running into vanitas' back.]

Oh- sorry!

[darkcharge]

[ Van grunts, turning to bite the head off of whoever thought that i might be a good idea or acceptable to bump into him. ]

Watch where -

[ But it's just Ventus. Wait. ]

Ventus.

[ Man. His other half is not looking too good himself is he? ]