middaeg | [ closedish? ] Jan Logs

[ closedish? ] Jan Logs

Who: Vanitas + Various
When: All Month
Where: Varies
What: Closed starters for pre-arranged things. Completely open to plotting all month, just hit me up and we can work something out. Alternatively if you write something up here, I will totally hit that too. I like surprises.
Warnings: PTSD and more to come probably

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

When: First week of Jan sometime
Where: House
What: Van's been living there for a couple of weeks now. But things are bothering him and, well...

[ Needless to say that over the course of the last few weeks, Vanitas has claimed at least one space of the house as his own. It's an odd feeling to him, since he hasn't really had something like that before. There are days he doesn't really know what to do with himself because sticking around in one place for an extended period of time is such a foreign concept. Yes, Vanitas goes to sit in on any magic classes, but he's finding that he wanders around the city itself aimlessly less. However, Vanitas does keep to himself primarily, unless dragged around or convinced otherwise.

A lot has happened in the last month and, frankly, it has shaken things up for Vanitas. Quite a bit, actually. There are things that people have been saying to him and so adamant are they with their words that Vanitas doesn't know what to do or what to say. Not even what to think. Therein lies the problem, really, because he's spent so much of his life believing he lies he had been told and the ones that he continues to tell himself or pursuing his goal that he doesn't know what to do when those things are called into question. Which, of course, is just fear. Oh Vanitas knows what the deepest reaches of his heart really wants, but he's pushed that so far down and locked it away that he dares not acknowledge it. During the day it's easy to continue to go on as he always does...

Then the night comes and all of the sudden it's just so much harder. Maybe because the silence allows for Van's mind to race. Perhaps it is because there is nothing to distract him from sitting there and thinking about everyone's instance on things. People telling them that they care about him. That they worry. That he can find his own purpose here away from Xehanort's shadow. Vanitas could work towards becoming whole and somehow still be himself - not that he knows who that could be. ...That Vanitas deserves the love and happiness that he never got before.

And, finally, the implication that everything that he had been through had been wrong. This is probably what Vanitas struggles the most with. Because Van has to hold onto the belief that everything he went through was to make him stronger; the weak have no place and it ultimately benefited him. He's better for it.

But what if he isn't? What if he is in the wrong about all of this? It's that little piece of doubt, fear, hope that usually gets it started. For panic settles in, because all of the sudden his emotions start getting out of control. The room always, always drops several degrees from his own magic here. That's not the worst of it, unfortunately. Just because he cannot create Unversed in these moments anymore doesn't mean that his body doesn't remember what the process is like. Vanitas can feel his throat tightening and something begin to rise - usually whatever he had eaten instead of his own emotions. That's when Van takes off to the bathroom and spills the contents of his stomach.

Only he doesn't really feel better at all. No, unlike when he expels Unversed, Vanitas is still shaking and overwhelmed with his own feelings and more often than not he's huddled in a corner, nails biting into his scalp, as pain is a distraction. It's soemthing he's familiar with and a point of focus. And tonight? Tonight is no different. It doesn't matter that it's cold enough in the bathroom that he can see his breath and frost begins to form on the mirrors.

He just wants it to stop. ]

When: Pre-kidnapping event sometime
Where: House
What: That Flood he has is still attached to negativity. Guess who has a lot of negative feelings?

[ Suffice to say Vanitas himself is dead to the world on a couch. Between the restless nights and just feeling a touch under the weather, Van has taken to cat naps here and there. Unusual for him, but exhaustion is exhaustion all the same. It's not like he intends to do it. More like he usually has a book in his hand and in the next few minutes? Asleep.

What isn't asleep, however, is that one little Flood. Sure, it isn't able to feed off of negative emotions like it is used to, but that doesn't mean that it isn't still attracted to them. In this house? There can be plenty of that, but the only person aside from Vanitas himself that has the most? That would be one Emet-Selch. The Ascian is like a beacon of negative energy and the Unversed constantly finds itself at least sharing the same space at the man.

That's where it is right now. Just watching Emet-Selch, little ear-like antennae twitching here and there. Oh it isn't getting up in his business. Rather, it just likes too watch. ]

When: Beginning of Jan
Where: Coven
What: H-healing magic?

[ Maybe Vanitas should give up by now. He's read anything and everything he can on healing magic. Has tried sitting in on some of the classes before, uh, getting disgusted and just walking out. Some of the philosophies behind it is just a bit confusing for Vanitas. Perhaps less confusing and more like he can't reconcile some of them with who he is. Or maybe he just doesn't understand them. That's entirely possible too.

However he is still at the Coven trying to do perform a simple healing spell anyway. Instead of trying to heal people, Vanitas is working on a plant - one with a leaf plucked off and Vanitas trying to re-attach it. Something simple, right? Not like he is trying to knit flesh back together or anything like that.

But it's not working. There's not even a soft glow from his hand. So Vanitas throws up his hands in the air in frustration. Nothing works. Nothing. So what is he doing wrong? ]

[Fortunately for everyone involved, Emet-Selch is doing nothing more than practicing some conjuration. Detailed, precise work, the kind that took proper concentration.

Enough so that he's not sure at all when the Flood had joined him. He's never entirely sure when the damned thing turns up, or for that matter how. Could it teleport? Did he keep accidentally closing it in with him? But seeing the small movement of its 'ears' in the corner of his eye finally gets the Ascian's attention. Stopping what he was doing, he turns to face the small creature, an automatic frown crossing his expression.

In the most technical of senses, the Flood was still preferable to Mira's cat. The cat interfered. The Flood just. Stared. Was probably staring? Its weird little face was pointed in his direction anyway, and seemed to be paying attention.]

What do you even get out of this?

[Crossing his arms, he lets out a huff of a breath.]

There's a thing called privacy, you know. Your owner should teach it to you.

[ Isn't that touching, that the little fledgling emotion is higher rated than, well, the furry beast that is, probably either with its owner or has seen fit to sleep on Van out in the main room? Though, really, since it is just an extension of Vanitas what does that say?

But no, the little beast doesn't really see fit to disturb Emet-Selch. The question is a good one, because really the Flood doesn't get anything out of this. It now has to rely on food to actually nourish it instead of emotions. However the instincts are really hard to completely ignore, especially when this is what the creature is.

Though it tilts its head to the side when the questions and statements are asked. It does seem to understand what Emet-Selch is saying at the very least. Oh there will be no answer... But it just. Sits.

What's privacy?]

Edited 2020-01-05 02:44 (UTC)

Not much for a dialogue, are you?

[And now he was apparently having a conversation with the thing. A bit one-sided of one, but that had never stopped Emet-Selch before.

While he was tempted to immediately try and chase it off, or find Vanitas to collect his stray emotion, the Ascian hesitates, considering that he'd never really tried interacting with the creature before. Did it have intelligence, how much could it understand? He didn't know- but it had at least seemed to realize he was speaking to it.

As distasteful as the thing was, it was also new. And if it was going to live here, it was possibly worth investigating. Standing up slowly, Emet-Selch steps towards the Flood, in as nonthreatening a manner as he can manage.]

I don't suppose asking questions of you will do any good. But you do know what I'm saying.

[ Well, no, it's not particularly chatty. Unversed can't speak after all, but they are intelligent enough to make an entire factory work; to figure out levers and doors and all the little odds and ends to scare children and restore the shattered remains of Van's heart. So, capable of understanding enough.

Which means it doesn't particularly feel threatened in this case. After all it has seen Emet-Selch interact with its master. If the man had felt like actually doing any harm, it likely would have been done by now.

But hey. It gives a nod. Sure, it does know what the Ascian is saying. ]

[At least it wasn't skittish either; he was not in the mood to chase it about. Stopping in front of the little creature, Emet-Selch crouches down, to view the Flood more-or-less on its own level.]

What would happen if I took you apart, I wonder.

[Too idle to qualify as a threat, as he holds a hand out to the Flood. For it to- sniff? Swat at? This was what you did with animals, right? Not that this critter strictly qualified as an 'animal' precisely....

But that was fine, really; the Ascian had never been much of an animal person. An arcane entity created from emotion, though? At least it didn't shed.]

And what drives you here- duty or mere instinct. You do realize you're not accomplishing anything.

[ Oh if Emet-Selch had thought to do that without powers and abilities being hampered, Vanitas would feel it. He'd feel it quite intensely, as the Unversed would simply return to him. Of course if that had been the case, Vanitas would also be somewhat aware of this conversation.

Though it does still perceive the statement as something close to a threat, as it is getting up on all four feet; not quite all the way up, but ready to bolt if need to. Honestly? Vanitas himself behaves more like a stray cat than his rogue emotions do. They just tend to act as one would expect from creatures born of emotions - unstable.

So it does half swat at the hand, mildly offended. Not accomplishing anything... Rude! ]

[The tiny swat was- well, the Ascian wasn't the type of person to find it cute, but it was kind of amusing. He can't help but smirk a bit at the creature.]

Oh? I suppose you take your work very seriously then.

[He leaves his hand where it is, undaunted. Certainly not bothered by the Flood's (quite sensible, honestly) display of caution.]

Still, you must know you're less effective at doing... whatever it is you're meant to be doing. Aren't you frustrated?

[Maybe he was giving it too much credit. But it was easy to talk to, for some reason.]

[The Exarch has been here long enough to start helping other Witches as they learn their craft, and today is no exception. It's perhaps even more important that Mirrorbound learn to control their powers after the rising tension of the past few months. This happens to be one of those days where he's sent back to the Coven to deliver some healing herbs-- part of his job as an assistant botanist-- and he sticks around for a bit after, seeing if there are any interesting books or facts he can pick up while he's here.

There's someone struggling in the corner, though, and it catches his eye. He watches Vanitas from beneath his hood for a little while to get a grasp of the situation, peering at him over the pages of this advanced book on evocation magic. When Vanitas seems sufficiently stuck, he decides this is the best time to approach.

He moves slowly enough, and with enough noise in his footsteps that Vanitas will be able to hear him coming. He doesn't want to startle the boy. The Exarch is a bit odd, though, standing out with the leather boots beneath his robes and one longer glove on his human arm-- the other, of course, being impossibly cold crystal. Yet his expression is nothing but warmth as he stops and kneels beside Vanitas and the plant.]

You seem to be having some trouble... What is the matter, if I might ask?

[ Maybe Emet-Selch should pull the hand back? Because the creature doesn't take kindly to it just lingering there after insults. Or maybe it's that smug expression. Ether way its blue skin begins to ripple like a stone in a pond.

Besides. It isn't frustrated. It has to be irritated. ]

[The Ascian certainly isn't getting less smug. But huh, rippling. Was that a good sign? Probably not.]

Ah, did I hit a nerve? Do you even have nerves to hit, for that matter.

[If he were a person more capable of empathy (or rather, more capable of empathy towards non-Amaurotines), he'd probably feel a touch of it for the poor Flood. Most of his words towards it could just as easily apply to himself.]

Try not to take it personally. But you should understand what you're doing when you're approaching me, of all people.

[Does he do the sensible thing and retract his hand from the rippling Flood? Of course not- and on the last of his words, Emet-Selch reaches out that bit more, intending to prod the creature on its weird little head. What did manifested negativity feel like? Time to find out.]

[ The Exarch is hardly the first, nor the last, weird individual that Vanitas is going to come across. ~~Just look at the individuals that he lives with~~. He doesn't actually hear anyone approach, just feeling like he should pull out his hair in frustration. Vanitas just doesn't understand what he must be doing wrong? Because he has to be doing something wrong or he just isn't doing it right?

Being asked a question, however, has him lifting his head. Warm smiles aren't really going to help alleviate Van and his default to caution. Though he doesn't know if the kneeling helps or not. Is the action meant to belittle him or... ]

Sharp eyes you got.

[ Yes, he's snippy. He huffs, rubbing at his face. Just this once... ]

I'm trying to learn this magic. Been trying to learn for months.

[ Unfortunately no, no nerves. Not literal nerves anyway. And, really, maybe Emet-Selch really should just swallow his pride and actually talk? Unlikely. Besides the old man probably doesn't actually like the truth being echoed at him does he?

As for the Flood itself, why should it not seek the Ascian out? There's so many bad feelings floating around. If it could perform its intended function, it would be feeding well just by sitting here. There's no need to aggravate the situation, though it always could in the future if things see fit to change.

Though really... What does this say about Emet-Selch that he'd talk to a fragment of someone's emotion? Go so far as to touch it?

Which, for the record, is a weird texture. The Flood is somewhere between a solid state and a liquid one. ]

[Hm, no swatting, no biting (if it even could bite, rather). Perhaps the rippling had been a positive response? Unlikely, if only because of what the creature supposedly was. Some kind of acknowledgement? Emet-Selch couldn't tell, but at least he hadn't yet provoked it too far.

And since the poke had been tolerated, he turns it into more of a proper pet. What a strange creature. And a strange texture. But even if its existence was vaguely off-putting, it wasn't an unpleasant thing to be around in itself.

Kind of like Vanitas, really. Though at least the kid didn't sneak into his room to watch him. Hopefully. Speaking of--]

You're less skittish than your master.

[As he remembers Mira's unfortunate attempt at a headpat. Which leads to another thought, and a sigh that's more for the show of it.]

And then she invited you both to stay, without so much as a word to the rest of us. [Or at least, Mira hadn't asked him, which is what truly mattered.] Honestly... you should all be grateful for my exceptional patience.

[The kneeling appears to be because... well, he's not all that tall himself, and he's reaching out to inspect the plant with his own hands-- with his own sense of magic.]

There is something to be said for body language.

[He says this with the air of a gentle tease, a sense of humor.]

Months? Something like this could take someone years where I am from. Even this much could be called progress-- do not be so hard on yourself. [He examines the plucked leaf between crystal fingertips.] 'Tis healing magic, yes? It seems simple in practice, but it can be extraordinarily difficult... Mindset, you see, is everything.

[ Yeah not so much a positive response as it had been Emet-Selch ignoring the warning. And, if anything, it at least knows that the Ascian isn't really going to hurt it. However that doesn't mean the Flood isn't agitated all the same. It does think to hiss ~~though how it can will remain a mystery~~ when the man starts to pet it. Though really it sounds more like an irritable pet at the moment than anything that will lash out at him. If anything, the Flood just seems to accept the fact that this must be its fate.

As for being less skittish... Well that goes without saying, right? The Flood itself doesn't have the same experiences that its master, its source, has. It is just a tiny fragment that broke off because of those experiences.

It tilts its head again to the side as Emet-Selch speaks more. Does he not want them here? ]

[ And such "gentle teases" are met with a flat look. Vanitas knows he has partially invited this upon himself, but that doesn't mean he won't continue to be somewhat problematic. Or at least grouchy.

"Years" is what this guy says. Of course it doesn't work that way where Vanitas is from. Sora had managed to learn all sorts of magic without proper training at all. Not to mention everyone but him seems to throw around Cure magic with minimal effort. ]

It didn't take years for the half-wits to learn. No reason to think I wouldn't be able to do it too.

[ Well, theoretically anyway. ]

What do you mean by "mindset?"

[The hiss gets a raised eyebrow and he prods its head again with a finger.]

Behave yourself.

[Though the Ascian does, finally, retract his hand afterwards. He knew what it felt like now, and he had no particular desire to keep petting it.

So he sits back instead, and though he continues to observe the Flood, he seems distracted, speaking as much to himself as to it.]

Well... there's worse things Mira could have dragged home. Though I can't begin to understand why she bothered.

[The impulses of heroes were strange indeed. Why would you invite something of the Dark to live with you, especially when you weren't aspected that way yourself? Did she hope to rehabilitate him or something?

Nonsense, if so. But it didn't matter, and Emet-Selch just shakes his head after a moment, refocusing again on the Flood.]

Is your owner around? Or did he leave you to your own devices again?

[He manages to keep a straight face, but only just barely. It's certainly easier with his eyes covered. It's just that he'd said something so similar when he was learning how to fight. It didn't daunt him at all, though, and he imagines it isn't daunting this boy either. He's still here, after all.]

Keep at it, and I believe you will.

[He smiles a little. Vanitas will soon learn this is his default expression: just a little smile, like he knows something.]

The truth to healing magic is that you are hardly using magic at all. The work comes from the creature's life energy-- their body, you could say... Your energy is a boost to the being's natural ability to heal itself, the words in the incantation serving as instructions to follow. Whether you use a spoken component to your spells or not, this remains true.

[He gently strokes one of the plant's leaves between his fingers.]

In order to be successful, then, you must connect to what you are healing. That bond will form a solid foundation for the spell to take hold, and you can offer up the energy of the spell for the, ah, patient to receive.

Does that make sense so far?

[ Wow that little smile is... Irritating? Vanitas does not care for knowing looks when he is not the one giving them. That's super duper aggravating. It shouldn't be allowed and, for a moment, his mood sours.

Because Vanitas full expects this clown to walk off with all of the secrets. It would be what Vanitas is accustomed to happening, after all. How many times had Xehanort done something similar; shown him a piece of magic or technique only to walk away with a smirk, expecting Vanitas to figure out the secret on his own...

However that's not happening here. Shortly, Vanitas almost wishes that it had been. At least then Van could delude himself further into thinking that there is something that he is missing like talent or something. He hadn't expected that the reason he fails at this over and over again is because there is a very important aspect to this that he'll never have: connecting to people. ]

It makes sense. [ And, oddly, it does. Even Vanitas is quick-witted enough to see this. ] So, basically, I really should give it up.

[ Well being prodded isn't nice! The Flood scrunches as far away from the hand as it can, without actually leaving it's spot. It only moves back into place as Emet-Selch gets bored and decides to move on. Hopefully the old man won't make a habit of this.

However the question... Well it is the same question Vanitas himself had asked. He had, too, wondered why Mira would ask him to stay there. She owes him nothing and he doesn't owe her anything - though now he certainly believes that he does. It's odd and baffles him to no end. The Flood? It doesn't really care either way.

Instead when Emet-Selch asks as to the whereabouts of Vanitas, the Flood merely looks in the direction of the living room ~~wherever that may be~~ ]

[That's a suspiciously placid answer from a kid with a chip on his shoulder. But Vanitas is about to discover that the Exarch, smiling hooded bastard that he is, does not give up so easily. And that means that Vanitas can't either.]

Do you think such a thing is beyond you? With plants, it is actually quite simple. I can show you. Once you understand the certain... knack that is required, I think you are clever enough to be able to apply that to other creatures as well.

[Clever little Flood. If he'd asked that question of the cat, she would've just stared at him.

Though the Ascian would've been surprised to find that Vanitas thought he owed something to anyone. It wasn't as though the kid needed to stay there, right? So there was nothing to be grateful for. An offer was extended and accepted, nothing more. It was how he viewed his own presence in the household as well.

Pushing himself back to his feet, Emet-Selch heads to the door, pausing only to glance back to the Flood.]

Come on, then. I assume you'd rather not be left alone.

[Time to return a stray emotion to its creator.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 15

[ closedish? ] Jan Logs

Mira

Emet-Selch

Crystal Exarch

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

HERE HE IS shb spoilers likely

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject