[ open ] If you do what you always did...

[darkcharge]

Who: Vanitas + Open
When: Throughout Mareuer
Where: All around
What: Quest Prompts and semi-open prompts
Warnings: Mentions of last month's event


( Scarring ) - open to close CR ; Beginning of month

[ For the first week after Vanitas had returned home, he really hadn't left bed much. His body had been healing and recovering from the events of the previous month. He hadn't felt much up to doing anything or talking to anyone. There had been a lot that Vanitas had been dealing with internally as well. He had been beating himself up for being too weak and for allowing his guard to drop. Blamed himself for his circumstances and busted wrist. Screaming and having fits in the middle of the night to the point where he'd try to slip away and try to find a place where the voices aren't so loud.

The following few weeks are better, but not by much. Vanitas still hasn't been sleeping well, but he is roaming about the house. Maybe he makes it to the front porch and around the yard, but that's where he stops. For now. If anyone asks, he snaps at them. Vanitas may very well pretend that nothing is wrong and everything is fine. He's defensive, closer to how he had been a year ago. It makes him sick, but he can't stop himself from lashing out a bit.

Because he's fine. He should be fine. So why isn't he? ]


( Gerard's Gardening )

[ Now after about a week into the month, Vanitas can't stand it any more. He doesn't need to be treated with care so he's going to show people that he's fine and that they need to pay attention to themselves and not worry about what he's doing.

Which leads him to where he is right now, planting some seeds. It's a task he's actually done a lot since he's been here and is more familiar with plants than he cares to be sometimes. Anyone watching for a lesson might see - ]

I'll show you how it's done. The right way.

[ Which means Vanitas digging his fingers into the soil. Sprouts magically rise from the flower bed and begin to bloom. He pulls back soon after. ]

Anything more than that and you'll kill them.

[ He's totally done this before. ]


( Birds of a Feathered Cap )

[ Sure, one could probably look for feathers in the city but everyone's going to be doing that, right? Hence Vanitas can be found right outside the wall. It's likely an odd sight, seeing him pace around the area - checking out vegetation and even going so far as to climbing some trees. Looking for nests, of course. They're bound to have feathers as well. ]

You can get lost. I can handle it.

[ This is his job. He doesn't need your help ]


( Curiouser Cats )

How often do these Chimeras run off... I swear there was another incident like this.

[ He's mostly grumbling to himself. This brat's run off and whatever. Vanitas is pretty sure he can track the child down. Without help. Though if pressed he'll motion to the Flood at his side and say that this is all he needs. It's like he's trying to prove to someone - mainly himself - that he's not weak. That Vanitas is still the same as he had been.

Hopefully he won't go out there and get overwhelmed by the Caitagàire.

Even so, he's pushing on - with or without you - into the woods proper with his Keyblade strapped onto his back. ]

Need a bell or something on these kids.


( Wildcard )

[ You know what to do. If you want to plot just hit me up on plurk at jardaan! ]

Comments

gardening w/ a slight twist

[piromare]

( it's... been hard for him to plant those seeds. his fingers are still slow to react, hands trembling as he focuses as hard as he can. lio's being slow, but not deliberately--- he's been staring at the hole in front of him while he rests on his knees. one wing has been bandaged up, where feathers used to be. he's still a little scratched up and bruised, and incredibly shaky when he's standing. )

... funny, isn't it?

( he doesn't look at van. his eyes stay down. )

The last time I remember gardening, was just after I woke up in that house full of mirrors.

[darkcharge]

I remember. It was the first time I met your idiotic self.

[ Lio might not be looking at him but the same isn't true for Vanitas. He's eying the other over, wondering if the Harpy is in worse shape both physically and mentally.

Vanitas has been through these sorts of things before. He doesn't know if Lio has. ]

Come on. You're no leaf.

[piromare]

( he shoots vanitas a sharp look, one that starts as a frown but turns into a smirk. slowly, the harpy tries to get up from the ground. it takes some time, and as soon as he does rise up he has to catch his breath. )

No leaf, but certainly no flower.

( lio pauses before letting out a sigh. )

They... pulled my feathers out, like plucking petals. Wanted to see how much pain they could inflict, forcing me to breathe.

( his hands start to shake again. )

[darkcharge]

[ Vanitas has figured that much out, given the fact there is a wing with a distinct lack of plumage. Either that will heal over time or it can be restored through healing magic after some time. Van doesn't know if he's skilled enough to help in that way. ]

They're dead now. The ones that did this are gone and they aren't coming back.

[ He snatches up Lio's shaking hands. Don't. If Lio starts to lose it then Vanitas might as well. ]

And if they aren't then they'll die the first time I lay eyes on them again.

[piromare]

( it'll have to be through natural means, but by his own wishes.

he couldn't kill before, and he couldn't kill now. he swore that he wouldn't do that as as a burnish. the shades are different, but those who were cultists... those who were controlled. he isn't sure if he bring himself to break that one overarching rule that he held himself to. )

Vanitas...

( he clenches his jaw, squeezes his eyes shut. the corners of his eyes burn, but lio can bear it. )

... you're so strong.

scarring

[noblegarnet]

[Ferran has come to check on the residents of the cottage, given that all of them had gotten involved in the last months' horrors in one way or another. There's a bag slung over his shoulder when he approaches, and his eyebrows rise when he spots the young man out in the yard.]

Vanitas.

[He'd heard about the kinds of things the cult had done to those they'd captured, although he'd avoided asking any direct questions about who went through what, exactly. For one, it's not really beneficial for anyone for him to know those details. All he needs to know is that his friends are hurting, and that he's determined to give them some comfort or help. He certainly counts Vanitas among those.]

It's good to see you on your feet.

[darkcharge]

Yeah well. They broke my wrist not my legs.

[ He's not looking for pity or anything Ferran. Vanitas isn't making the statement because he wants the world to know his suffering. It's pure deflection. Making light of what had been done because he doesn't really want to think and process it. Not right now. ]

Looks like you're making the rounds.

[ Nodding towards that bag of course. ]

[noblegarnet]

[Even if there's a slight hint of discomfort in the Fae's smile at the semi-joke, it's purely out of sympathy and the image of it happening that comes to mind. When it comes to Ferran, it's hard for pity to not come into the equation, but that doesn't mean he's going to treat Vanitas like a delicate flower; he can adjust. If Vanitas wants dark humor, he can respond in kind.]

I'll make sure to celebrate if you manage a handstand, then.

["Making the rounds," though?]

I'd like to think it's more personal than that. [The phrase doesn't have any heart in it, if you ask Ferran.] I came to see you, maybe offer a distraction or two. Or you can tell me to beat it and leave the snacks behind.

[darkcharge]

[ It's good that Ferran does respond this way. This at least gets a bark of laugher out of Vanitas - airy as it may be. ]

You'll be the first one to know when I do.

[ Hmm. But the Fae says he offers company and a distraction. Honestly he considers this for a moment. Thinks about sending the other on his way because Vanitas doesn't know how long he'll really but up to entertaining.

However one thing brings him up short. ]

Snacks?

Scarring

[darkestbefore]

[ In the days following the rescue from the Cult, Yona ends up being a frequent visitor in the cottage where Sora and Vanitas are now living. It's as much to continue encouraging Sora and keeping his spirits up as her worry for Vanitas. But the difficulty he's having while stuck in bed healing - in all manner of speaking - has not been missed.

It's late morning when she slips into his bedroom, a tray carefully balanced in her hands. Seeing he's not asleep at the moment, she offers him a bright smile in greeting as she approaches his bed. ]

Good morning, Vanitas. How are you feeling this morning?

[ She's prepared for his mood, whatever it is. Or at least she hopes she is? ]

[darkcharge]

[ Even if Yona is prepared, Vanitas isn't. He doesn't really know what his mood is going to be from day to day and he's really tired of it. Tired of being moody for no reason. Tired of being sensitive and over emotional over the littlest of things. Yet, at the same time, he can't find the energy to be any other way. Doesn't have the brain power to try to change it.

Today, at least, he seems lucid. Here in the moment instead of far away. Sora probably needs a little break and Vanitas can't really blame the Puca for that. ]

How much of morning is even left?

[ He pushes himself into a fully seated position, still looking tired. Like he doesn't sleep well - which he doesn't. There are still dark circles under Van's eyes but at least the gift that Yona made him is hanging right there off of one of the posts? ]

Sucks.

[darkestbefore]

Enough of one to still count.

[ Her answer is cheerful, as if maybe she can try and lift his spirits by sheer force of will - or infection? But less the bad kind this time. ]

I brought you some breakfast and tea. Are you hungry?

[ She hopes so because it looks like there's several small dishes on the tray she carries over to the bed to settle near him ]

[darkcharge]

Not really...

[ But that's most days. His appetite isn't where it should be. Despite saying this, Vanitas is pushing himself out of that blanket pile - Sora's thing not his. Then he'll work on getting himself upright. ]

But we'll see what I can do.

Gardening

[twilightskey]

[It takes time for Roxas to get out and about as well; while he doesn't have as many injuries as Vanitas does (sporting little more than a few bandages and a couple notches in his ear), he was still dealing with his own unseen injuries. But the days where he feels stable enough? He does go out to do some simple, less intense quests. Like planting seeds. It's a simple, quiet task. Something Roxas can focus on without his mind wandering to dangerous places.]

[At least, until Vanitas suddenly comes over. Perhaps Roxas was a bit too focused, because when Vanitas reaches over, it shocks Roxas enough to make him visibly flinch away, ears flattening as he bares his teeth. But the growl that's about to form in his throat dies when he realizes who it is.]

A-Ah... sorry...

[He backs up a bit, giving Vanitas more room to work.]

[darkcharge]

[ Van sees the flinch. Doesn't comment on it. He's doing the same things still from time to time. However he's just determined to get over it. Not the healthiest of ways to deal, but it's really the only way that he knows how. ]

You're not a meek little puppy, Roxas.

[ Don't apologize to him. ]

[twilightskey]

[Roxas looks up at Vanitas, briefly surprised by the answer, before he looks back down at the plants in front of him.]

...I know.

[He knows. He's been through tough trials before. He's been told by those who've been helping him recover that he's not weak. That he's got strength for dealign with such a horrible experience.]

[So then why is he still jumping at shadows? Snapping at anyone who gets close?]

[He frowns, and focuses on the seeds instead. Planting seeds is easy. He's planted plenty of seeds before. He plants a few seeds before hazarding a look up at Vanitas again.]

...your arm looks better.

[darkcharge]

[ Roxas is doing it for the same reason that Vanitas doesn't really sleep at night. Same reason he screams and wails and lashes out. ]

I don't think you do know.

[ He snorts, breezing by the change of topic. ]

You know what I thought made you more tolerable than some of the others, Roxas?

scarring

[oathkeeper]

[Things are not fine...

Sora can not only feel it but he sees it too. Vanitas waking up in the night, leaving to be alone, snapping or lashing out at little things or even big things. It's so much different from the darker times that Sora has seen Vanitas go through before. It was old memories that Sora was dealing with. But these ones are new and fresh and raw.

Naturally, It puts a bit of a strain on the two of them. Sora does his best to be there for Vanitas or to help him through a fit or the screaming. But Sora isn't sure what to do sometimes. Letting Vanitas take the space that he wants but leaving Sora antsy and tense.

But he still tries his best. When Vanitas is on the porch Sora peeks his head out the door and he...hopes. He hopes so much.]

Hey, good morning. [He smiles.] It's nice out, huh? I heard a ton of flowers are already blooming out on the coven grounds.

[Could he coax Vanitas out for a walk today...?]

[darkcharge]

[ They are fresh and raw ones that stir up the old ones, really. In the beginning, Vanitas would close off the bond every once and a while - always by accident. By instinct because he's trying to protect Sora from those rush of emotions. To try to spare his partner because he can also feel Sora's pain and uncertainty. It isn't fair to the Puca and it actually makes Vanitas sick that he's been putting him through all of this.

That's what motivates him to try to suck it up really. To force himself to stick through instead of run off. To cling instead of isolate. Those moments Vanitas does bury himself in their bond, seeking out Sora's warmth and presence to give him solace and to ground his mind. Keeping it in the here and now. ]

Morning. [ Though it's still late morning. Sleep is getting easier... Every day a little "better." Even now he's trying to throw Sora small smirk. ] Are you trying to tell me to make candied flowers for you?

[ Vanitas recalls doing this last Spring. ]

[oathkeeper]

[When they have a bond as strong as theirs it really is hard on both of them when something this awful happens. How to handle those wanted and unwanted emotions when the other person can feel bits and pieces of them is a really hard thing to deal with. Sora doesn't want Vanitas to hurt but he knows that he has to process these things somehow... Being upset or sad or angry is okay. He just wishes it could be easier.

At least Vanitas' attempt at a good memory makes Sora sincerely smile. He steps out onto the porch, his ears twitching in the morning air. It's so fresh out here and Sora can smell the new Spring growth too.]

Only if you're up for it. I'd be okay with just trampling through the flowers as much as we want to too.

[He comes to Vanitas and reaches for one of his hands.]

[darkcharge]

[ Sora isn't the only one who wishes it was a little easier. It's not necessarily for Vanitas himself. He's sure that, if he hadn't been bonded at all, he could just deal with it as it comes. Knowing that other people are having to deal with it and experience it with him? Yeah, it's not the best of feelings. Vanitas doesn't want people to know about his suffering. His pain. His unresolved issues.

Doesn't like appearing weak and vulnerable. That's never really went away. ]

My magic isn't broken, Cottontail. It won't wear me out.

[ And, in return, Vanitas takes the offered hand. ]

Scarring

[inlikethebrume]

[This whole ordeal has been draining on them all. If she kept her Bond closed off before, she certainly has done it more since his rescue except in some cases. Mainly just to let him know she's there still.

Mira has barely left the house herself except to run essential errands, mostly keeping her focus on her boys. If Sora wasn't there, she tried to be while keeping her distance. Yeah, she remembers how he was before and how touching was a sore subject and so she tried to not overdo it.

She did it before and it lost her a Bond. She can't do it to him too. All she could do was make sure he eats and recovers. Nothing else she could do.

But it's one day as she finishes feeding Breezy that she sees the gaelkitten run out and yowl. Mira being curious about what is giving her pet the zoomies and sees Vanitas up and about.]

Vani? How are you feeling?

[darkcharge]

[ He can't blame her for this, really. She would pull back out of fear. Vanitas had been around for that entire affair with Emet Selch. Had seen the fall out. Doesn't mean he likes it, but he understands it.

At least she's still around. For the most part.

However Van is shuffling around because he's partially had enough. Sora certainly doesn't refrain from any sort of affection. Why should Mira?

Breezy pretty much zips by Van. She'll pay a visit later. Right now Vanitas is meandering into the room. Then he just. Drops his face. Into Mira's side. ]

[inlikethebrume]

[She is shocked at the sudden contact. A good kind of shock but still, Mira is surprised.]

Vani...?

[He is touching her so...would it be okay to touch back? Gingerly, a hand presses to his hair and she gives him a small pat in return.]

[darkcharge]

[ Mira will likely feel a tug on their bond - one that mirrors Van's hand tugging on her sleeve. Don't shut him out. Don't make him feel rejected or like he's unwanted.

People outside of Mira and Sora might not get to touch him. Might not get to really know what he's feeling. But Mira and Sora... They are too important for that. ]

I told you that you're stuck with me. [ He hates how his voice sounds. ] So stop. I'm not going anywhere.