middaeg | [ open ] If you do what you always did...

Entry tags:

[ open ] If you do what you always did...

Who: Vanitas + Open
When: Throughout Mareuer
Where: All around
What: Quest Prompts and semi-open prompts
Warnings: Mentions of last month's event

( Scarring ) - open to close CR ; Beginning of month

[ For the first week after Vanitas had returned home, he really hadn't left bed much. His body had been healing and recovering from the events of the previous month. He hadn't felt much up to doing anything or talking to anyone. There had been a lot that Vanitas had been dealing with internally as well. He had been beating himself up for being too weak and for allowing his guard to drop. Blamed himself for his circumstances and busted wrist. Screaming and having fits in the middle of the night to the point where he'd try to slip away and try to find a place where the voices aren't so loud.

The following few weeks are better, but not by much. Vanitas still hasn't been sleeping well, but he is roaming about the house. Maybe he makes it to the front porch and around the yard, but that's where he stops. For now. If anyone asks, he snaps at them. Vanitas may very well pretend that nothing is wrong and everything is fine. He's defensive, closer to how he had been a year ago. It makes him sick, but he can't stop himself from lashing out a bit.

Because he's fine. He should be fine. So why isn't he? ]

( Gerard's Gardening )

[ Now after about a week into the month, Vanitas can't stand it any more. He doesn't need to be treated with care so he's going to show people that he's fine and that they need to pay attention to themselves and not worry about what he's doing.

Which leads him to where he is right now, planting some seeds. It's a task he's actually done a lot since he's been here and is more familiar with plants than he cares to be sometimes. Anyone watching for a lesson might see - ]

I'll show you how it's done. The right way.

[ Which means Vanitas digging his fingers into the soil. Sprouts magically rise from the flower bed and begin to bloom. He pulls back soon after. ]

Anything more than that and you'll kill them.

[ He's totally done this before. ]

( Birds of a Feathered Cap )

[ Sure, one could probably look for feathers in the city but everyone's going to be doing that, right? Hence Vanitas can be found right outside the wall. It's likely an odd sight, seeing him pace around the area - checking out vegetation and even going so far as to climbing some trees. Looking for nests, of course. They're bound to have feathers as well. ]

You can get lost. I can handle it.

[ This is his job. He doesn't need your help ]

( Curiouser Cats )

How often do these Chimeras run off... I swear there was another incident like this.

[ He's mostly grumbling to himself. This brat's run off and whatever. Vanitas is pretty sure he can track the child down. Without help. Though if pressed he'll motion to the Flood at his side and say that this is all he needs. It's like he's trying to prove to someone - mainly himself - that he's not weak. That Vanitas is still the same as he had been.

Hopefully he won't go out there and get overwhelmed by the Caitagàire.

Even so, he's pushing on - with or without you - into the woods proper with his Keyblade strapped onto his back. ]

Need a bell or something on these kids.

( Wildcard )

[ You know what to do. If you want to plot just hit me up on plurk at jardaan! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( it's... been hard for him to plant those seeds. his fingers are still slow to react, hands trembling as he focuses as hard as he can. lio's being slow, but not deliberately--- he's been staring at the hole in front of him while he rests on his knees. one wing has been bandaged up, where feathers used to be. he's still a little scratched up and bruised, and incredibly shaky when he's standing. )

... funny, isn't it?

( he doesn't look at van. his eyes stay down. )

The last time I remember gardening, was just after I woke up in that house full of mirrors.

I remember. It was the first time I met your idiotic self.

[ Lio might not be looking at him but the same isn't true for Vanitas. He's eying the other over, wondering if the Harpy is in worse shape both physically and mentally.

Vanitas has been through these sorts of things before. He doesn't know if Lio has. ]

Come on. You're no leaf.

( he shoots vanitas a sharp look, one that starts as a frown but turns into a smirk. slowly, the harpy tries to get up from the ground. it takes some time, and as soon as he does rise up he has to catch his breath. )

No leaf, but certainly no flower.

( lio pauses before letting out a sigh. )

They... pulled my feathers out, like plucking petals. Wanted to see how much pain they could inflict, forcing me to breathe.

( his hands start to shake again. )

[ Vanitas has figured that much out, given the fact there is a wing with a distinct lack of plumage. Either that will heal over time or it can be restored through healing magic after some time. Van doesn't know if he's skilled enough to help in that way. ]

They're dead now. The ones that did this are gone and they aren't coming back.

[ He snatches up Lio's shaking hands. Don't. If Lio starts to lose it then Vanitas might as well. ]

And if they aren't then they'll die the first time I lay eyes on them again.

( it'll have to be through natural means, but by his own wishes.

he couldn't kill before, and he couldn't kill now. he swore that he wouldn't do that as as a burnish. the shades are different, but those who were cultists... those who were controlled. he isn't sure if he bring himself to break that one overarching rule that he held himself to. )

Vanitas...

( he clenches his jaw, squeezes his eyes shut. the corners of his eyes burn, but lio can bear it. )

... you're so strong.

I'm not...

[ He looks down towards the ground, scowling. ]

If I was then I wouldn't have been caught. I would have been able to get out of there. Would have been able to get both of us out of there.

[ But he had failed miserably. ]

But... Shaking and crying is what they wanted. They wanted to break us. I don't care if they are alive or not but I'm not even going to give their ghosts the satisfaction.

( if shaking and crying was what equaled failure, then lio didn't fail either. broke him? no, not quite. they tried but couldn't. how he could keep himself from completely collapsing and giving in, he's not particularly sure, but...

...

well. )

I thought about you. You kept me afloat.

( his voice trembles as he takes a shaky breath. )

I thought... if you could make it, so could I.

Edited 2021-03-12 03:20 (UTC)

[ That's... Well that's not the answer that he had expected. Thoughts of Vanitas helped to keep Lio afloat? That if Van could do it, so could he? ]

Never really considered myself much of a force to be used for positive motivations.

[ Van snorts, rolling his eyes. ]

You didn't fall apart then. Will you now?

( really? anyone or anything can be a positive motivation, and as someone he holds in his heart dearly... probably one of the very few that he could say that about... )

No, I won't. I don't think I can afford to.

( one last exhale, and he relaxes. he calms down. )

... one of my Bonded was helping with the whole thing. I don't think he was in his right mind, but he... I think he was the reason why they knew where to come for me.

What do you mean?

[ How could they have found the location from Lio's bonded? This is news! Something he hasn't heard before. ]

Helping... How...

... I saw him while we were in the cages. He didn't recognize me, or else I think he would've tried to help us.

( lio looks down. his head low, his eyes even lower. his body feels so heavy and tired thinking about it. )

He was trying to infiltrate the cult, but I guess they caught him and did whatever they did to get so many members in the first place.

( charmed through magic, or something like it. )

[ Vanitas releases Lio's hands, if only so that they can start to tend the flower beds once more. Hmmm. Then gives Lio a shove with his shoulder. ]

Brainwashing. Mind control. Something like that. Probably feel like crap about it, right?

[ Which is what he doesn't understand. If someone isn't in control then they aren't in control. They aren't at fault. ]

( the flowers certainly need their attention. that's why they're there, right? he should trying to take care of them, so he grabs what looks to be some fertilizer (the same kind he probably used before) and starts to cover the area around it... )

Yeah. Something like that. He's been careful being around me ever since.

( he knows momo feels guilty. )

And I know it wasn't his fault. I know. But that doesn't mean I don't feel uneasy.

One of mine was being like that. I made sure to set her straight on the matter.

[ Since he can't stand the fact that people he considers of value would prefer to remain apart. That they would keep their distance. ]

...Are you saying yours was responsible for what happened to you?

( he nods. quiet, but he's not trembling now. he just keeps his head down, as he continues to take care of the soil as best as he can. he's no witch, so all lio can do is... what people normally would do. )

I think so.

( lio lets out another sigh, though this one is just so he could take a bigger breath. it's been hard for him as of late. )

He never came to our cage. That's probably for the best... I don't know what I would've done.

[ Take note that Vanitas isn't necessarily doing anything himself. He is not using his magic here to make things grow or to feed into the soil itself. Rather, Vanitas is just working alongside Lio for the time being. ]

Maybe he is just responsible for your capture. That, alone, may be sufficient. Or perhaps he might have done something to someone else and you are merely a symbol of his own guilty conscience.

[ A shrug. ]

You might have torn him in half.

... I don't think I could've.

( his heart sinks. his wings, though bandaged, droop slightly--- one of the only things that he can do without feeling anything ache. )

He's my friend. My first Bond here. He might've not had his memories, but I would've had mine. I can't live with that kind of regret.

( lio hesitates, looking over at van. )

Bonds... the first time I thought about them, I thought they'd be silly. Guess I was wrong.

What's done is done and it can't be undone. He's going to have to come to terms with it. Avoiding you won't help that at all.

[ At least Vanitas doesn't think so. True, he avoided people for a bit but not the ones that he considers his. If anything it had made him want to cling all the more tightly. ]

As for Bonds... I could have told you they were serious from the start. In fact, I think I did. That's why I was always picky about who I Bonded with.

Yeah, you did. ( he snorts. ) I should've listened better.

( and then he pulls his hands out of the dirt again, claps them together to get them clean. )

How many Bonds do you think are too many?

Four.

[ The answer is immediate. Perhaps because he knows exactly how many bonds are too much. He's come across fool that have over extended themselves too many times. ]

And if I find out you ever have more than three you can be sure that I will force you to break it off with someone.

... I have two.

( two strong bonds. room for another if need be. )

You'd really do that? ( a pause, before he looks at van with a half-smile. ) Because you're looking out for me?

[ Vanitas clicks his tongue. Two... ]

I also have two since the other rabbit left.

[ But he wouldn't mind one more, really. It's preferable, considering what the bonds are doing for him. A third will quicken the process again...

His head jerks back towards Lio at the "accusation." His ears burn just a little being called out like that. ]

Is that a problem?

No. It's the opposite.

( he turns his head away, closes his eyes. smiles. )

Unless... you don't want me to be a problem.

[ He's really not sure what Lio is getting at here. Opposite? Unless he doesn't want Lio to be a problem? What? ]

I don't think of you as a problem to begin with.

Good. That's the last thing I want you to think of me as.

( to not get in the way, to not be a source of stress. )

Van... ( ugh he doesn't know how to put it without sounding weird? ) ... you've been a friend since I got here. So I guess it would make sense if we were Bonded. You know?

gardening w/ a slight twist

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