middaeg | (catch-all)(closed) the days don't stop coming

( in the back of his mind, aziraphale knows that he shouldn't accept this so readily. he shouldn't cross the line and allow for crowley to embrace him. it's a step being taken far too quickly and it's simply just too outright, but—

he doesn't have it in him to turn away from it. the urge to be closer to him, close enough to smell, thrums underneath his skin and he lets crowley guide him forward until he's leaning against him outright. )

I am not sure if you should. Neither of us knows what will happen.

( he says as he tucks his face against the curve of crowley's neck and shoulder, speaking directly against the fabric of his clothes. )

Yeah, well, what else am I gonna do angel? Can't exactly leave you.

[ It's simply not an option. He tightens his arm around Aziraphale, tucks him comfortably so he can rest one cheek against his pale curls and holds him into his neck. He feels warm. Crowley tries not to think about the smell of blood, about the race of Aziraphale's heart. He can't think about that right now, he just needs --

Just needs both of them to be safe. ]

We're a team, yeah? Always you and me, balancing things out.

( no, he could never imagine so. however grim and terrifying things might get as aziraphale's transformation into one of the beastfolk steadily continues, aziraphale didn't expect for crowley to abandon him. he expects for him to be there in one way or another. that's always how it has been. crowley always seemed to appear in the right time and place to aid him even if it were to his own detriment.

it had never stopped him. it likely wouldn't stop him now either.

which aziraphale knows to be a problem since this isn't quite like all the times before. if something happened to crowley because of him, because of this, then there wasn't any way that he could fix it. they had to be careful—crowley more so than himself, mind you—but they couldn't continue to simply roll the dice and hope for the best. )

What is it that they usually do? To the werewolves in fiction?

( he tries to sound neutral as he poses the question, but the hitch in his breath is obvious while his face is pressed against crowley's neck. he's tucked well enough into him to hear the erratic beat of his pulse.

he shifts then, moving to slowly work his arm around crowley's shoulder to return the embrace. )

Lock them in the cellar, isn't it? At least until it passes?

Somethin' like that.

[ Crowley eases into a more comfortable position, lets out a soft sigh as Aziraphale's arm comes around him in turn. His hand sweeps up and down the angel's back in slow, steadying strokes. ]

You don't worry about that, though. Let me worry about it for you, yeah? Cellar will be the last resort. Bound to be plenty of other things we can look into first. That wolf fellow we met when we arrived seemed pretty together. Maybe he knows something.

( that's right. there had been a bonded pair in the looking glass house who had been giving everyone an overview during that first day here. unfortunately, aziraphale hadn't exactly been in the right state of mind to give the proper attention to their explanations. he had picked up a decent amount from it, of course, but much of it felt like noise against the growing panic in his chest.

much like the panic he feels now. but, the hand against his back does help. quite a lot.

he lets out a soft sigh against crowley's neck. )

Mr. Ainsley? I suppose he wouldn't—

( —be against sharing his expertise.

that's what he had intended to say, but all he manages is a choked noise as pain rockets down his spine. all at once, he feels like he's being pulled apart and he immediately reaches for the only thing within reach: crowley.

his claw-like nails bite into him harshly, digging into the skin underneath crowley's clothes as he clutches at him like crowley is the only thing that could possibly keep him steady. his body is shifting again, tailbone elongating into a proper tail and aziraphale thinks he might scream.

he can't. he shouldn't. crowley is too close.

so he bites, sinking his sharp teeth into crowley's flesh. )

[ Oh.

Aziraphale tightens his grip on him, nails digging into skin, and Crowley clutches Aziraphale closer in response -- tries to sooth him with the closeness of their bodies. ]

Angel --

[ Is all he manages before something else happens.

Before Aziraphale... bites him.

According to most werewolf lore Crowley knows, that's how it happens. He suppose if that's true then... well, at least they'll be werewolves together? Might be nice. Could run around the moors terrorising people, or doing whatever it is werewolves do between acts of terror. The problem is the biting part does actually hurt. His hands flex in their grip, breath hitching sharply as he tries to ignore it. Aziraphale is probably hurting more, and although Crowley as a rule is very against anything that registers on the pain scale or puts him in danger -- well. Aziraphale has always been an exception for things.

He would, however, rather not have his throat ripped out if possible. So probably need to get the biting under control. ]

Angel? Please...

[ Voice a little... more strained than usual, although now that the initial sharp pain is over with Crowley thinks he can live with this. It's not so bad. ]

( there is something deeply satisfying about having bitten crowley. aziraphale couldn't think to describe it even if he were more sound of mind, but it makes something within him sing. like a call answered or an inch scratched and he barely recognises that crowley is speaking to him at all.

it takes a long moment, a moment spent with his grip still impossibly tight around crowley and his teeth still embedded in him, before understanding starts to seep back into his head. understanding of where he is, what he's doing, and the sound of crowley's voice as he asks him to—

let go.

oh.

aziraphale flinches, ears flattening against his head. he has to fight against the urge to jerk back, afraid of what damage he might accidentally cause if he were to move too quickly. instead, he takes care to slowly extract himself from crowley's neck. )

C-Crowley! I'm so sorry-!

( his words come out in a panicked rush, syllables nearly blending together. he doesn't know how to apologise enough, how to even begin making amends for what he's done. oh, and he's done something so terrible. what was he even supposed to do now? how could he explain it? he doesn't know, but the sudden slam of guilt thoroughly yanks his focus away from the pain along his back and the way his new tail flicks against the edge of the mattress anxiously.

to make matters worse, he can see blood beginning to bead along the freshly created wound. he has to at least do something about the damage he'd caused. anything. )

Let me—

( that's all he says before dunking his head downward again, but this time not to bite. no, he drags his tongue over the bite mark he had created in a desperate and mindless attempt to at least stop the bleeding. )

[ Oh.

He doesn't --

Crowley feels slightly dazed by the rapidly unfolding sequence of events, by the rush of adrenaline from the pain and the sensation of --

Of everything happening. Which is quite a lot. ]

Nnngh. 'M fine.

[ Isn't he? He's probably fine. How hard did Aziraphale bite him, anyway? His hands run restlessly up and down the angel's back, trying to soothe his fretting even as Crowley tries to process that he's been bitten by someone with furry ears. This isn't really... something in his wheelhouse, so to speak. Not a thing he knows how to react to.

The licking feels a bit much. ]

( if aziraphale didn't know any better, he might think that his heart was trying its damnest to pound its way straight out from underneath his ribs. everything feels as if it were happening both a little too fast and a little too slow and he can hardly breathe. the only thing that keeps him any kind of focused is the frantic need to try to fix what he had just done.

his grip gradually begins to loosen, unhooking his claws from crowley's person before he accidentally creates another injury. or had he already? he couldn't tell and he was honestly terrified to find out.

he pulls away from crowley once more with a frown, moving to press the sleeve of his nightshirt against the wound. it was already ruined anyway, it hardly mattered if he made it worse with crowley's blood as well. )

Are you? I hadn't meant to—

( bite.

except he had. somewhat. it's hard to pin down. he had also bitten him pretty hard to top it off.

he really should get crowley out of the room. anywhere but where he is. )

It. . . Might be best if you were to leave.

[ Leave?

Crowley, breathing a little heavily from... well, the adrenaline and pain and actual blood now, lifts a hand to vaguely hold Aziraphale's against his neck. ]

Dunno where you think I'm gonna go, angel. Besides, someone probably needs to help me clean up this bite and you're the nearest person. How you feeling? Still hurt?

[ Crowley is, obviously, also hurt but if they need a minute to work out who is hurting less that's... fine. That's fine. How heavily is it bleeding, he wonders? He can't really tell how deep the bite was. Is he in shock? He has no idea. What does shock feel like? He's never really felt the physical aspect of it before, but he can smell the blood -- Aziraphale's, his. Distantly Crowley is starting to wonder how long it would take for him to change, if he's going to. To wonder what he'd do if Aziraphale just lost control and ripped apart his corporeal form. No frolicking through the moors as a pair of werewolves after that, can't come back when you're in pieces.

Maybe that's why Aziraphale is telling him to leave. Maybe he's already feeling that urge.

Crowley leans into Aziraphale again, trying to steady himself. Maybe that would be fine. If anyone was going to kill him, after all, he'd rather it was Aziraphale.

Probably Aziraphale wouldn't want to, though. That might be a problem. He'd be upset afterwards. ]

( aziraphale can feel it.

the ragged way crowley breathes, the race of his pulse, the pounding of his heart, and the unsteadiness of his hands. it feels nightmarishly human, delicate and vulnerable in ways that just feel wrong to him and—

he had caused it. he had caused it and crowley had the audacity to ask him how he was doing. he feels bewildered and overwhelmed and he thinks he might forget how he's supposed to breathe. how could it matter how he felt? he did feel better, which was an uncomfortable realisation, but that should hardly be the concern. crowley shouldn't be asking, neither should he still be trying to hold him close. )

Out! The other room! A-anywhere!

( somewhere he didn't run the risk of being bitten again. aziraphale couldn't say that he wouldn't bite again. he hadn't even thought he would do it the first time, so how could he predict the second? or more?

his hand falls away to rest against crowley's collarbone, letting aziraphale press his face against him unhindered. )

Anywhere but here.

( said quietly, misery clear in his tone.

he just needed some time to collect himself so he could tend to crowley's wound. he had been right when he said he needed someone to care for it and there wasn't anyone other than aziraphale here. unless he were to call someone?

but he feels an immediate revulsion to the idea. he doesn't want anyone else here. what was wrong with him? he couldn't keep thinking that way.

he lets out a frustrated sigh, muffled against crowley's neck. )

I'm sorry.

I don't wanna be anywhere but here.

[ Just putting that out there.

The bite is still a problem, though. Crowley eases his hand away from his neck now that Aziraphale's has dropped, looks at it to gauge how red it's turning. ]

Hey -- how about we find something to clean this up, and maybe I can clean those for you too. Yeah?

[ He makes a vague gesture to Aziraphale's head. The ears. Not that Aziraphale can see, when he's trying to bury his face against him and pretend this all isn't happening. Not a bad idea, honestly, can't blame him for that. He loosely drapes his arm around the angel, then Crowley catches sight of a slight motion and flick down to the mattress.

Ah. There's... that too. A tail. He's -- faintly sure they make cartoons about things like this. Erotic cartoons. Not quite so erotic now, is it? His eyes rip themselves back up to some vague, indistinct point and he tries to focus. Right. Cleaning things up. ]

Maybe something for the pain if you still need it, yeah?

[ There, a normal suggestion. Suitable for normal injuries. Nothing unusual or stressful, just need to clean up and take some painkillers. ]

Crowley.

( said with irritation in his voice.

there was something to be said about crowley's unending willingness to foolishly throw himself right into dangerous situations. not that aziraphale was particularly fond of acknowledging himself as one of those said dangerous situations, but there was no avoiding it, was there? he was a dangerous element and inescapable one at that. there was not much escape when the two of them lived together.

really, he needed to find a different place to spend the evenings during the full moon. there had to be a hotel or a hostel that could he relocate himself to for just the night. not that it mattered right now. he was here tonight for the duration and the most important thing that needed to happen in this moment was to tend to the injury he had left on crowley. it wasn't going to get any better just because he had apologised. )

In the bathroom. We have some supplies.

( slowly, he starts to pull himself off of crowley to sit up on the bed. or at least as well as he can. he had felt better near immediately after sinking his teeth into crowley, but he still felt a little light-headed and off-centre.

he offers a cautious hand to crowley in case he felt the same way. )

[ He certainly won't say no.

Crowley takes Aziraphale's hand, wobbling to his feat and absently touching at his neck again. It feels like the whole area is throbbing, and he wonders what it looks like. Is it actually deep? Or shallow, and just sore because of the... muscles or nerves or whatever it is? ]

Doesn't seem like it's bleeding too bad.

[ Going purely by the red smudges on his hand. There'd be more thick blood if it was deep and nasty, surely? He blinks sideways at Aziraphale, taking in his expression and then --hesitantly -- the ears on his head again. ]

You look like a cartoon character.

[ Oh. He didn't really mean to say that out loud, but now he's said it. Must be a little delirious. Quick, fix that: ]

In a good way.

[ There, nailed it. ]

( a cartoon cartoon?

aziraphale balks at that, shock and offense immediately washing over his face. )

What?

( he sputters, obviously trying to collect himself well enough to respond. had he heard him right? did crowley really just have the audacity to have something like that? right now? he couldn't imagine a worse time to start making jokes or inane comments. he supposes if crowley could still be this stupid then clearly he hadn't bitten crowley all that hard, after all.

the wound was obviously just for show! )

There is no good way!

( he flicks his hand, letting go of crowley's abruptly. )

I'd rather you not look at all.

[ That's all gone a bit wrong, hasn't it? Quick, keep talking, that'll definitely help! ]

I like it!

[ He blurts it without really thinking, then immediately realises this might need clarification. ]

I mean, looks sore and all, but...

[ Ah. He stands, one bloody hand still sort of hovering in the air awkwardly. ]

Looks... cute.

[ Like a cartoon character, apparently. That bit was probably a mistake. Actually, this bit probably is too. He really just needs to stop talking, but he feels like for some reason he can't. Crowley's face scrunches a little, realising this whole thing might be quickly spiralling out of his control and there's seemingly no end to it. ]

Cute?

( he asks, incredulous, as the volume of his voice hitches upward. he feels a little like he can't breathe, offended and overwhelmed at the same time. his face even feels a little hot with an emotion he can't place. anger? shock? embarrassment?

he makes an angry gesture towards the ears on top of his head. )

You find any part of this to be cute?

( he wouldn't have expected crowley to call him cute in the first place, but this is ridiculous. the ears! he was calling the ears "cute"!

his tail flicks behind him, irritated. )

It's a compliment! What, you want me to tell you it's ugly or something instead?

[ That wouldn't help at all! ]

I'm just saying, it's --

[ You know what, sometimes better to quit while you're... not the absolute furthest behind you can be. He sighs, gives a faint growl of frustration under his breath. ]

You are impossible. Come on, are we cleaning all this up or not? If I bleed out and discorporate listening to you complain about compliments I'll be annoyed about it.

[ Honestly! ]

( it's amazing that crowley thought that any sort of compliment towards any of his new bodily changes would be even slightly appreciated by aziraphale. if he could, he would like to completely ignore that they were happening to him at all. otherwise he has to face the reality that they might be permanent and he's not ready for that yet.

or maybe. . . ever. might never be ready to accept the idea of pointed ears and a tail. like a cartoon character would have. )

I'd rather you say nothing at all about it, Crowley.

( outright.

then he's moving past crowley to start making his way towards the bathroom where they could finally take care of that nasty wound he'd left on him.

he already hated the sight of it. )

Yes, yes! Let's get you to the bathroom.

[ Oh, of course, because pretending they aren't there is obviously going to help. He sneers at Aziraphale's back, annoyed, but follows anyway.

He does, after all, want to stop bleeding. Equally, perhaps more so, he wants to know Aziraphale is okay. ]

And you.

[ Just a reminder, they're both in need of a bathroom cleanup. Not just him. ]

( the walk from his bedroom towards their shared bathroom feels like a long one. impossibly long, almost if he has to walk for ages. it's not that large of a space to cross, their cottage isn't particularly huge, but his legs feel wobbly and the glow of the light bulbs feel much too bright.

it just feels long to him. )

And me? What do you mean "and me"?

( opening the door, he waits by the threshold, gesturing crowley inside. )

You know what I mean. You need to let me look at it.

[ Or else they're just going to have a fight about it, which Crowley is perfectly willing to do. He walks over to the sink and takes his hand off his neck with a sigh, studying himself in the mirror and wincing slightly as he starts to run water. ]

I don't believe that's necessary.

( he says the word "need" far too confidently. there wasn't anything to look at. the only thing that needed to happen was that aziraphale needed to shower and change his clothes.

and possibly change the bedstuffs as well.

the bigger issue was crowley's wound. anything else felt like small potatoes in comparison. he frowns as he watches crowley inspect himself in the mirror, shoulders pulling inward guiltily. it looked so much worse in the light of the bathroom, the skin already colouring around the impression he'd left of his new teeth. it also invokes a very strange feeling of satisfaction in him, as if he'd successfully laid claim on what belonged to him, which aziraphale squashes immediately. he doesn't understand why he would ever have any sort of emotion like that and he doesn't want to find out. no, he reminds himself that he had done this to crowley, it was an extremely bad thing, and he needed to set it right.

but he also wanted to bolt. )

Why don't you take a seat?

( any bark he might have had in his voice has faded, washed out by concern and his own guilt. he gestures towards the shut toilet, hoping crowley won't protest about any of it. )

Only if you let me look at yours too. Fair trade.

[ He rinses his hands carefully, then frowning at them then back up at Aziraphale's reflection in the mirror. ]

Deal?

[ Maybe that'll be enough, the though that it's the only way he'll get to look at Crowley's injury. Maybe guilt will drive him into acceptance. Maybe he'll finally let him take a look at his... ears, which he isn't allowed to be nice about. Even if he does think they're... something. Something. ]

( oh, no. he doesn't want to do that. the both of them have already acknowledged his new features far too much for his liking already as it is. he doesn't want to talk about them, have them looked at, or anything else. they better off ignored until he could find a way to get rid of them. )

There's nothing to look at.

( he says, trying to be firm about it. )

But I can't say the same for you.

( so he gestures again for crowley to sit down. )

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