middaeg | (catch-all)(closed) the days don't stop coming

[ Leave?

Crowley, breathing a little heavily from... well, the adrenaline and pain and actual blood now, lifts a hand to vaguely hold Aziraphale's against his neck. ]

Dunno where you think I'm gonna go, angel. Besides, someone probably needs to help me clean up this bite and you're the nearest person. How you feeling? Still hurt?

[ Crowley is, obviously, also hurt but if they need a minute to work out who is hurting less that's... fine. That's fine. How heavily is it bleeding, he wonders? He can't really tell how deep the bite was. Is he in shock? He has no idea. What does shock feel like? He's never really felt the physical aspect of it before, but he can smell the blood -- Aziraphale's, his. Distantly Crowley is starting to wonder how long it would take for him to change, if he's going to. To wonder what he'd do if Aziraphale just lost control and ripped apart his corporeal form. No frolicking through the moors as a pair of werewolves after that, can't come back when you're in pieces.

Maybe that's why Aziraphale is telling him to leave. Maybe he's already feeling that urge.

Crowley leans into Aziraphale again, trying to steady himself. Maybe that would be fine. If anyone was going to kill him, after all, he'd rather it was Aziraphale.

Probably Aziraphale wouldn't want to, though. That might be a problem. He'd be upset afterwards. ]

( aziraphale can feel it.

the ragged way crowley breathes, the race of his pulse, the pounding of his heart, and the unsteadiness of his hands. it feels nightmarishly human, delicate and vulnerable in ways that just feel wrong to him and—

he had caused it. he had caused it and crowley had the audacity to ask him how he was doing. he feels bewildered and overwhelmed and he thinks he might forget how he's supposed to breathe. how could it matter how he felt? he did feel better, which was an uncomfortable realisation, but that should hardly be the concern. crowley shouldn't be asking, neither should he still be trying to hold him close. )

Out! The other room! A-anywhere!

( somewhere he didn't run the risk of being bitten again. aziraphale couldn't say that he wouldn't bite again. he hadn't even thought he would do it the first time, so how could he predict the second? or more?

his hand falls away to rest against crowley's collarbone, letting aziraphale press his face against him unhindered. )

Anywhere but here.

( said quietly, misery clear in his tone.

he just needed some time to collect himself so he could tend to crowley's wound. he had been right when he said he needed someone to care for it and there wasn't anyone other than aziraphale here. unless he were to call someone?

but he feels an immediate revulsion to the idea. he doesn't want anyone else here. what was wrong with him? he couldn't keep thinking that way.

he lets out a frustrated sigh, muffled against crowley's neck. )

I'm sorry.

I don't wanna be anywhere but here.

[ Just putting that out there.

The bite is still a problem, though. Crowley eases his hand away from his neck now that Aziraphale's has dropped, looks at it to gauge how red it's turning. ]

Hey -- how about we find something to clean this up, and maybe I can clean those for you too. Yeah?

[ He makes a vague gesture to Aziraphale's head. The ears. Not that Aziraphale can see, when he's trying to bury his face against him and pretend this all isn't happening. Not a bad idea, honestly, can't blame him for that. He loosely drapes his arm around the angel, then Crowley catches sight of a slight motion and flick down to the mattress.

Ah. There's... that too. A tail. He's -- faintly sure they make cartoons about things like this. Erotic cartoons. Not quite so erotic now, is it? His eyes rip themselves back up to some vague, indistinct point and he tries to focus. Right. Cleaning things up. ]

Maybe something for the pain if you still need it, yeah?

[ There, a normal suggestion. Suitable for normal injuries. Nothing unusual or stressful, just need to clean up and take some painkillers. ]

Crowley.

( said with irritation in his voice.

there was something to be said about crowley's unending willingness to foolishly throw himself right into dangerous situations. not that aziraphale was particularly fond of acknowledging himself as one of those said dangerous situations, but there was no avoiding it, was there? he was a dangerous element and inescapable one at that. there was not much escape when the two of them lived together.

really, he needed to find a different place to spend the evenings during the full moon. there had to be a hotel or a hostel that could he relocate himself to for just the night. not that it mattered right now. he was here tonight for the duration and the most important thing that needed to happen in this moment was to tend to the injury he had left on crowley. it wasn't going to get any better just because he had apologised. )

In the bathroom. We have some supplies.

( slowly, he starts to pull himself off of crowley to sit up on the bed. or at least as well as he can. he had felt better near immediately after sinking his teeth into crowley, but he still felt a little light-headed and off-centre.

he offers a cautious hand to crowley in case he felt the same way. )

[ He certainly won't say no.

Crowley takes Aziraphale's hand, wobbling to his feat and absently touching at his neck again. It feels like the whole area is throbbing, and he wonders what it looks like. Is it actually deep? Or shallow, and just sore because of the... muscles or nerves or whatever it is? ]

Doesn't seem like it's bleeding too bad.

[ Going purely by the red smudges on his hand. There'd be more thick blood if it was deep and nasty, surely? He blinks sideways at Aziraphale, taking in his expression and then --hesitantly -- the ears on his head again. ]

You look like a cartoon character.

[ Oh. He didn't really mean to say that out loud, but now he's said it. Must be a little delirious. Quick, fix that: ]

In a good way.

[ There, nailed it. ]

( a cartoon cartoon?

aziraphale balks at that, shock and offense immediately washing over his face. )

What?

( he sputters, obviously trying to collect himself well enough to respond. had he heard him right? did crowley really just have the audacity to have something like that? right now? he couldn't imagine a worse time to start making jokes or inane comments. he supposes if crowley could still be this stupid then clearly he hadn't bitten crowley all that hard, after all.

the wound was obviously just for show! )

There is no good way!

( he flicks his hand, letting go of crowley's abruptly. )

I'd rather you not look at all.

[ That's all gone a bit wrong, hasn't it? Quick, keep talking, that'll definitely help! ]

I like it!

[ He blurts it without really thinking, then immediately realises this might need clarification. ]

I mean, looks sore and all, but...

[ Ah. He stands, one bloody hand still sort of hovering in the air awkwardly. ]

Looks... cute.

[ Like a cartoon character, apparently. That bit was probably a mistake. Actually, this bit probably is too. He really just needs to stop talking, but he feels like for some reason he can't. Crowley's face scrunches a little, realising this whole thing might be quickly spiralling out of his control and there's seemingly no end to it. ]

Cute?

( he asks, incredulous, as the volume of his voice hitches upward. he feels a little like he can't breathe, offended and overwhelmed at the same time. his face even feels a little hot with an emotion he can't place. anger? shock? embarrassment?

he makes an angry gesture towards the ears on top of his head. )

You find any part of this to be cute?

( he wouldn't have expected crowley to call him cute in the first place, but this is ridiculous. the ears! he was calling the ears "cute"!

his tail flicks behind him, irritated. )

It's a compliment! What, you want me to tell you it's ugly or something instead?

[ That wouldn't help at all! ]

I'm just saying, it's --

[ You know what, sometimes better to quit while you're... not the absolute furthest behind you can be. He sighs, gives a faint growl of frustration under his breath. ]

You are impossible. Come on, are we cleaning all this up or not? If I bleed out and discorporate listening to you complain about compliments I'll be annoyed about it.

[ Honestly! ]

( it's amazing that crowley thought that any sort of compliment towards any of his new bodily changes would be even slightly appreciated by aziraphale. if he could, he would like to completely ignore that they were happening to him at all. otherwise he has to face the reality that they might be permanent and he's not ready for that yet.

or maybe. . . ever. might never be ready to accept the idea of pointed ears and a tail. like a cartoon character would have. )

I'd rather you say nothing at all about it, Crowley.

( outright.

then he's moving past crowley to start making his way towards the bathroom where they could finally take care of that nasty wound he'd left on him.

he already hated the sight of it. )

Yes, yes! Let's get you to the bathroom.

[ Oh, of course, because pretending they aren't there is obviously going to help. He sneers at Aziraphale's back, annoyed, but follows anyway.

He does, after all, want to stop bleeding. Equally, perhaps more so, he wants to know Aziraphale is okay. ]

And you.

[ Just a reminder, they're both in need of a bathroom cleanup. Not just him. ]

( the walk from his bedroom towards their shared bathroom feels like a long one. impossibly long, almost if he has to walk for ages. it's not that large of a space to cross, their cottage isn't particularly huge, but his legs feel wobbly and the glow of the light bulbs feel much too bright.

it just feels long to him. )

And me? What do you mean "and me"?

( opening the door, he waits by the threshold, gesturing crowley inside. )

You know what I mean. You need to let me look at it.

[ Or else they're just going to have a fight about it, which Crowley is perfectly willing to do. He walks over to the sink and takes his hand off his neck with a sigh, studying himself in the mirror and wincing slightly as he starts to run water. ]

I don't believe that's necessary.

( he says the word "need" far too confidently. there wasn't anything to look at. the only thing that needed to happen was that aziraphale needed to shower and change his clothes.

and possibly change the bedstuffs as well.

the bigger issue was crowley's wound. anything else felt like small potatoes in comparison. he frowns as he watches crowley inspect himself in the mirror, shoulders pulling inward guiltily. it looked so much worse in the light of the bathroom, the skin already colouring around the impression he'd left of his new teeth. it also invokes a very strange feeling of satisfaction in him, as if he'd successfully laid claim on what belonged to him, which aziraphale squashes immediately. he doesn't understand why he would ever have any sort of emotion like that and he doesn't want to find out. no, he reminds himself that he had done this to crowley, it was an extremely bad thing, and he needed to set it right.

but he also wanted to bolt. )

Why don't you take a seat?

( any bark he might have had in his voice has faded, washed out by concern and his own guilt. he gestures towards the shut toilet, hoping crowley won't protest about any of it. )

Only if you let me look at yours too. Fair trade.

[ He rinses his hands carefully, then frowning at them then back up at Aziraphale's reflection in the mirror. ]

Deal?

[ Maybe that'll be enough, the though that it's the only way he'll get to look at Crowley's injury. Maybe guilt will drive him into acceptance. Maybe he'll finally let him take a look at his... ears, which he isn't allowed to be nice about. Even if he does think they're... something. Something. ]

( oh, no. he doesn't want to do that. the both of them have already acknowledged his new features far too much for his liking already as it is. he doesn't want to talk about them, have them looked at, or anything else. they better off ignored until he could find a way to get rid of them. )

There's nothing to look at.

( he says, trying to be firm about it. )

But I can't say the same for you.

( so he gestures again for crowley to sit down. )

Nothing to look at?

[ Crowley turns, narrows his eyes at Aziraphale. ]

There's blood on your head Aziraphale, and you're saying you want me to ignore it?

[ Just to be clear. This is what he thinks is a reasonable course of action? ]

Yes. It's just—

( that is exactly what he wants. he wants crowley to ignore it. this wasn't like the last time something happened. there wasn't anything that he could do to fix or improve it. the only thing that could be done was for aziraphale to clean himself off, which he'll take care of as soon as he's wrapped up crowley's wound.

what was this mess in comparison?

he makes a dismissive hand with his hand. )

It's from all this moon business. It'll wash off.

[ It --

Crowley's eyes widen again, bewildered, and his tone rises in pitch to match. ]

It'll wash off? Oh, so the blood from my neck is a problem but I'm not allowed to touch yours because we have to pretend it doesn't exist?

[ There's a snap to his voice, now. He's on the edge. This is ridiculous. ]

Edited (repetition ) 2020-09-15 18:03 (UTC)

I don't understand why you're so intent on touching it!

( or why he couldn't leave it well enough alone. what was he even expecting to do here? did he think he could make aziraphale feel better about it? that he could make any part of it better? what use was there to address it? or tell him he found it cute?

more importantly, he called his own wound just "blood". was he mad? )

You cannot just call that—that on your neck "blood".

( it's an outright wound! )

Well you can't just call that on your head something to wash off!

[ So there! It's a two-way street Aziraphale, you can't have it all your way! No matter how much you might have, in fact, largely had it your way until now. This is different! ]

Either let me look or leave me to handle this.

I will do no such thing! I put it there, so I will help take care of it.

( very matter of factly.

anything else would just be outright unacceptable. and honestly, he didn't expect crowley to even have an easy time with it. he couldn't really see it, could he? he'd have to use the mirror while juggling everything else. sounds like a trial and a half. it was just in his best interest to let aziraphale take care of it for him! )

Just sit down!

[ His hands are on Aziraphale before he really thinks about it.

Hands with blood on them, from his neck. Hands which latch onto Aziraphale's already tattered nightshirt and drag him sharply forward. ]

Now you listened to me, we are going to look out for each other. You are going to let me look at your injuries, and I will let you look at mine. Either it happens willingly or I'm forcing you into the tub and turning the water on.

[ Like wrangling a... well, cat.

Funny that. ]

( this was infuriating.

the hands on his shirt, the smell of blood that is now all the more stronger with new proximity, and the stupid way that crowley seems to think that he is about to be cowed by forcefulness! did he think this would truly make him agree? he still didn't want to be looked at as some sort of curiosity!

his hands snap to crowley's forearms, the grip loose but present. )

I don't believe I put it as a question or a negotiation, Crowley! Your injury isn't comparable to what is happening to me! It needs to be looked at!

[ This is frustrating.

Crowley growls.

Aziraphale is, very likely, turning into a werewolf. There's nothing he can do about it. He's already got the ears and the tail. Apparently it's a painful process. It is, judging by other monsters he's seen here, going to be worse the next time the moon decides to be full. Based on the progression so far, it will likely be increasingly worse after that.

There's no way out of this. The only thing they have is each other, and Aziraphale is so deeply in some panic state of denial he won't even let Crowley help.

His neck hurts, and he's angry but he's also frightened. It's all falling apart here, and Crowley has always been firmly of the belief that with enough effort he can always make it through the worst of situations. He has no idea how to make it through this. ]

I know it does, but I can't just sit back and not do anything! Not anymore than you can, not when I know you've been in pain!

[ It comes out in a hiss, between clenched teeth, and Crowley breathes hard a moment -- expression dancing through emotions. His eyes narrow, brow furrowed even as he grip loosens. Even as he leans forward enough to rest his forehead against Aziraphale's shoulder. ]

Please, angel.

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