middaeg | [closed] my heart is made of just one thing.

We?

[ SINCE WHEN DOES THERE NEED TO BE A "WE" INVOLVED HERE? Really, Vanitas looks at Sora completely at a loss for words. Strange connection they may have... Bonded they may well be... But that doesn't mean that Vanitas is safe. That doesn't mean Sora should be so carefree. ]

How am I to relax with someone next to me?

[What's so unsafe about a half exhausted Sora cozied up in a bunch of blankets, who knows. Sora gives Vanitas a puzzled look before he huffs and gently tugs Vanitas down by the arm. Oh- Probably that.]

I'm not gonna bite your head off or something... I just wanna sleep too.

[And he's yawning softly.]

[ Sora is... Very grabby isn't he? ]

Stop that.

[ Stop touching him so casually. Sop acting unafraid and so casual. How can he just decide these things on his own without stopping to think for a moment? Vanitas is so confused. ]

But why are you like this? You've done enough, haven't you? I'll be fine and your friends will no doubt enjoy your company more than I would.

[ They'd be less difficult. ]

[Sora pouts up at Vanitas, staring.]

How do you know you'll be fine? You went months thinking you'd be fine. I'm staying here until I know you actually are.

[He's already made up his mind.]

I want to. I don't need anything else right now.

Tch. I don't need a babysitter...

[ One of those emotions Vanitas can very easily identify. He knows it almost intimately. The emotion of loneliness always conjures up Hareraisers when Vanitas had felt it. It's not something he's felt lately - and how can he actually living with people?

So... It could only be Sora, right? ]

That's a flat out lie. You don't need anything else? Go to them, Sora. They'll fill that little void you're feeling.

[ Because Vanitas won't. He's never fit anywhere... Not even his own "home." ]

[Sora frowns, feeling something sink in his stomach when Vanitas points out a little sore spot inside of Sora. Can he really tell that sore spot is even there? It makes him feel slightly embarrassed, his own cheeks heating up with a slight pink.

Everything was such a whirlwind. He came from defeating Xehanort and nearly destroying his own heart in order to save everyone. The next thing he knew he felt himself fading away and falling through some strange mirror and waking up in this place. He'd finally been able to help the one person he couldn't before and now... He's being told to leave? I kind of just makes him feel a little lonelier.

He decides to smile a little before he shuffles in the blankets and ... tugs it over his head.

He's not moving..........]

[ Wait. Wait, why is the feeling only getting worse? Shouldn't Sora be relieved? He can go back to his friends! Surely that's what he really wants... Not to actually stay here.

But Vanitas is starting to get the impression he is misunderstanding something. What's even going on? Why is the kid covering himself up? Is he hiding. ]

Sora. Sora.

[ Not kiddo. Not brat. Just straight up Sora. Vanitas is already trying to tug the blanket off. He even growls out of frustration. Confusion. He really doesn't understand. ]

[He's hiding because he's so tired. Everything is catching up to him because of the magic burning under his skin. He's not sure if it's because of the stressful bonding ceremony on top of everything else but he just needs a moment. A moment to feel like everything he does is good and for his friends and he just...

Sora sobs quietly, trying to sniffle it up quickly before Vanitas can notice. He holds onto he blankets tightly so Vanitas can't pull them away.]

Just a minute longer... Then I'll go, okay...

[ Only it doesn't work that way, Sora. There's being able to stifle the sound that crying and tears may make... But there's no hiding the emotions there. And with the Bond so new and whatnot, Vanitas can feel it.

It's such a raw emotion that he stops tugging the blankets. Or maybe it's the shock of seeing and feeling the tears fall from his own face. He reaches up to touch his cheeks. ]

Why. Why are you crying.

[ And why is Vanitas shaking? The last time he had shed any actual tears had been months ago at this point, because the pain just wouldn't stop. But this... This isn't that. ]

[He inhales awkwardly as he feels the tears trickle out of his eyes. He tries to rub them away but he's always been really bad at keeping his tears back. He sobs softly, wanting nothing more than to just sleep right now.

But when he hears Vanitas Sora peeks out of the fabric of the blanket. When he sees tears working down Vanitas' cheeks too he sits up, letting the blanket fall away.]

Vanitas? ... Sorry- I just felt a little sad...! But I'll be okay. [He didn't mean to make his own feelings affect both of them?] What's happening? Why are you...

[ Vanitas brushes off the question. He knows exactly why he is crying. What he doesn't understand is why Sora is... ]

This is not a little sad. I could make a lot of Mandrakes from this. So you tell me what's really going on here.

[He reaches up to brush his own tears away with another sniffle. He doesn't want to make this about him.]

It's nothing, Vanitas...

[He mutters quickly, trying to pull himself together.]

I was happy I got to help you. I guess being told to go away just hurt a little. I know I want to see my friends too but I'm sure they wouldn't be worried if they had to wait a while longer.

[Does anyone really need Sora now that he's helped them? It's hard for Sora to believe sometimes. But as long a he knows he's helped, he's fine.]

[ Too bad because Vanitas is making this about Sora. In fact he practically grabs Sora's face so the brat can't even avoid his gaze. ]

Stop lying. It's not nothing.

[ Stop trying to put yourself together. Vanitas had said it before right? Stop being so selfish. Actually admit to all this crap you're actually feeling.

Is this really because Vanitas told him to go away? ]

I figured that's what you'd want, Sora. You already helped me so what would you really need to stick around for? I'm not... I'm not them.

[When grabbed Sora looks at Vanitas with wide blue eyes. He's not even sure why he's telling Vanitas all these things. Is he compelled to because of their new bond or is it because he's just so worn out right now? It's hard to tell.]

You're important to me, too. [Sora admits with a tremble in his shoulders.] I don't care if you don't think the same way.

[Sora tries to tug his face away from Vanitas.]

That's why I want to be here. Why can't you just let me stay for a little longer?

[ Did the whole 'you define me' go over this kid's head or what? All Vanitas does in response to Sora's answer is to tilt his head. Confused. Sort of disagreeing. He's not really all that important. Just a piece in a puzzle. A thing to be discarded when there's no longer a use...

He huffs, releasing Sora's face rather than letting the kid be the one to do it. Van then turns over and gets readjusted under the blankets. Fine. Sora can do what he wants. ]

Because everyone leaves.

[ That is the simple truth of it. He's always been alone. The people of this household don't count. They are just as broken as he, but in different ways. No, it's better if Sora leaves now, before he fully realizes what he's gotten himself into and leaves anyway. ]

[Sora frowns softly, watching Vanitas settle back under the blankets. It's not that he doesn't remember Vanitas saying those things to him, it's just...

They can argue more about it later...

With a small tired huff, Sora flops back down in his spot next to Vanitas too and pulls the covers up. It's still warm between them, the magic heavy and still feverish but it's- cozy.

Everyone leaves--? Well, Sora doesn't want to be the same as everyone else. Not in this regard.]

I'm staying.

Do what you want.

[ Vanitas doesn't really have the energy for it now. Doesn't feel up to arguing. Doesn't feel like chasing people away.

He's tired. So tired now. And still too warm. ]

[Fine, he will do what he wants!! Sora pouts.

It takes a moment before Sora quietly scoots closer, forehead touching and resting on Vanitas' shoulder.]

[ Oh hello. There's a sudden pressure on his shoulder? Vanitas tenses up, eyes snapping open again. ]

Sora.

[ What do you think you're doing? ]

[He's doing what he wants!]

Just get some sleep, Vanitas.

[And let him cuddle up just a little to his new bondmate. Which he does just that, scooting closer so their arms are touching.]

Edited 2020-02-09 22:40 (UTC)

[ Sleep. How can he get sleep with something at his back? Something that's making their physical presence known?

And Sora's getting closer. ]

Sora.

[ Back off. Back off back off back off. Already Vanitas can start to feel his chest going tight. ]

[At least Sora doesn't move more than that for now. His forehead lightly against the back of Vanitas' shoulder, his breathing quietly across his skin. And the lightest touch of their arms where Sora's brushed his against the other.

He can feel the flicker of Vanitas' trepidation so he mutters softly,]

That's it, I promise.

[He won't do anything else. He just wants a little.]

[ That's it. That's it? Sora over here is treating this like it isn't some big deal. But it is to Vanitas. He just keeps waiting for it to hurt or burn or something. Even though he knows it won't, there's still that anticipation for the moment he allows his guard to fall completely...

So how can he sleep? Simple. Vanitas doesn't. Even with Sora's even breathing, Vanitas is still awake. Still tense.

Eventually sleep does claim him, but only when he exhaustion just make it impossible for him to stay awake any longer. ]

[Luckily Sora has the uncanny ability to fall asleep no matter where he is or what he's doing or feeling. He is just that much of a sleepy boy and enjoys sleeping that much. It's kind of a problem, really.

So much that somewhere in his sleep he gravitates closer to the warm body next to him without really realizing it. In his heavy exhausted sleep, he ends up curling and arm around Vanitas and cuddling in closer until his lips are practically touching Vanitas' neck.

Whoops... Sora's probably in for a rude awakening.]

[ Something draws Vanitas out of his slumber. Perhaps it's the weight of Sora on him. Maybe that's not what wakes him, but it's definitely what catches his attention. That weight definitely makes Vanitas tense. He can feel Sora's breath on his neck. The arm curled around him.

It makes his pulse race and not in a good way. The panic begins to rise. There's little Vanitas can do to stop it. For a moment he tries to do the breathing exercises that he's done with Mira in the past, but it's a little too late.

Vanitas feels his stomach turning as his chest tightens. He can't breathe. Can't breathe. Honestly... his mind is in such a state that he can't even process that it's just Sora. It's someone that's there. So that's why Vanitas bolts, tripping over himself and trying not to dry heave until he gets to the bathroom. ]

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