middaeg | [Closed] Aftermath

[If there was one thing throughout all of this, it was that during and after this horrific event, she was an absolute mess on the inside. But when it was over, the pain she had felt from their smothered Bond ebbed away and what replaced it was just a feeling of being tired. Surely it was a thing everyone felt during it, right?

What Mira could do now is do her best to take care of their housemate still recovering from the malicious attack from those highborn bastards. But it's weird; ever since they tested out how far could feelings go between their tether, Mira's felt much more raw. Was it an effect? Tired as she may be, it still did not stop her from working and keeping an eye on him, making sure she did that before anything else like nap for maybe half a bell.

There were a lot of short naps but not enough rest. It's fine.

This time when she checks in on Hades, she brings tea along since it has a better taste than water. She knocks first before peeking inside, hoping she didn't do anything like wake him up on accident.]

[As soon as he'd made it back to the house, semi-healed and cleaned off, Emet-Selch had gone to bed and... had mostly been there ever since. On a purely physical sense, he still had a lot to recover from, the lesser wounds that didn't necessitate healing, the larger ones still requiring rest. He was sore and exhausted, and though he didn't sleep well (he kept waking up, thinking he was back in that place--), he did sleep a lot.

His Bonds going from smothered to whole again was a thing, particularly with Mira due to their experiences before everything had gone to hell. His response, though, had been to try to close off from it again, block up his side as much as possible. Everything was too raw, it felt as though he'd been scraped out in several ways, and he wasn't at all sure what was even left. It was better to recoil from it, deal with it on his own (or not deal with it, more likely).

Emet-Selch wasn't exactly known for having the best coping methods.

He had been lying down when Mira peers in, resting on his side facing the door, but he hadn't been asleep. Too many thoughts for that, and what better time to ruminate on them but alone and in the dark. Recognizing the outline of her, the Ascian sighs, still feeling that mix of wanting the company, but not wanting to be bothered. And though he calls out to her to let Mira know he was awake, he doesn't try to sit up.]

...What is it now?

[He does sound tired. Not the tired of recently awoken, just- tired. But then, they all were these days. As focused as he was on his own suffering, he wasn't entirely oblivious.]

[The blocking of certain things honestly is natural. Hells, Mira herself is trying not to let some feelings seep out because they're something Hades should not be feeling right now; like the undeniable rage at the city state and how that one phrase spoken by the rescue leader still stings for various reasons and the massive regret that she couldn't get to him in time. But given what she did back on her version of the First...it's salt in the wound.

Why was it that she found something good, fate had to hit her back into the dirt? Those bastatds better face execution, she swears.]

Thought you would like something different than water for once.

[Tea usually helps and she hopes the familiar Ishgardian style would help in some way.]

[The Ascian hadn't given much thought to the fate of those who'd tortured himself and the rest. He knew, without being told, that they wouldn't face appropriate retribution- because such a thing didn't exist. All of this had done nothing more than further underline what he already knew about mortals: they possessed an unfathomable need for pointless cruelty.

...most of them, anyway. Mira, bringing him tea, probably didn't qualify.]

It's not necessary.

[But he slowly pushes himself up into a sitting position, trying not to wince. Moving still wasn't comfortable, even if everything was on the mend, at least physically. That Mira was harboring any feelings about not being able to get to him earlier doesn't even occur to him. Being rescued at all wasn't something he'd taken for granted, and not only because he'd assumed he'd be killed before anyone tried.

As... friendly as they were here, every Warrior had still put him to the sword. It was one thing to claim of caring when nothing was required of you, it was another to protect someone you'd once killed, and would do so again. Emet-Selch still couldn't quite come to grips with the contradiction.]

...But I suppose I'll try it, if you've already made it.

[It's very good that those feelings she is keeping a tight block on. It would be too much for them to take right now, the possibility of them feeding negative emotions will make it much worse than it already is. Any may knock them flat out and Mira already is tired enough as is. It's clear on her face even with the small hint of a calming smile.

And yet she still does things like this. Anything to try and soothe a hurt is decent in her book.]

Perhaps not but I wanted to.

[Strange, it reminds her of when a friend brought her a drink when she and Alphinaud had run from Ul'dah. Funny how that works out as she sets the tray down and hands him the mug.]

Careful, it's still pretty warm.

[That tiredness was of slight concern. Had she slept at all since they'd been found? Or even before then? There's a slight frown on his face, but, well, that's nothing unusual.

Before accepting the mug, he shifts over to the other side of the bed, and gestures for her to join him. She could at least have a break by keeping him company.]

I'll be careful. The last thing I need is another burn.

[So he'll just hold it for the time being; just the warmth was pleasant.]

...How is it out there? Have they swept this whole unfortunate business under the rug yet?

[Frowning was his default expression so Mira didn't think twice about someone having a thought. Besides, what is sleep? It's been on and off for her for the past week and more; the last time she had some form of rest was when Vanitas forced her to and her body just gave up in response.

For maybe a couple hours. After over a week. She's still running on fumes but she won't be falling over for awhile.

At the invitation, Mira can't help but take it and letting herself simply sink in even if it was sitting. Company honestly would be lovely.]

More arrests and whatnot. My guess is a lifetime in gaol, assets stripped and names dishonored. It's pathetic if I am honest, damned highborn do not deserve the kindness.

[They deserve Death. For those who suffered in silence...for the man next to her, it was only a fitting punishment.]

[Good, sitting. Don't make the bandaged-up Ascian look after you, Mira. He only has one usable eye to look after you with.]

Hm... I'll be surprised if they get that much. Or if they do, it will be quietly rescinded once the public's memory has faded. Encouraged thusly by the lack of consequence, another group will pick up where the first left off.

[Ever the optimist. He takes a careful sip from his mug, closing his eyes for the moment.]

Mortals will never change.

[Rather than his usual smug dismissiveness, he just sounds rather tired.]

...I recall what the one who was in charge of those who were set to rescue everyone. To cause a stain on their reputation, to ensure what they did will cause them scorn for their entire family line for generations to come. Bloody fool.

[They simply will sow the seeds again, to create more grudges and more monsters to terrorize the people. This should be the moment where she says 'HUMANS ARE WONDERFUL' or some kind of thing heroes do but honestly, she doesn't care for it. She already knows people can be cruel, heartless, even malicious to cause harm on another just for not being the way they are.

Thankfully Mira is more of a tea person than an ale kind; at least with that there are no regrettable choices.]

I wonder how many honestly believes that.

There's probably a few naive souls who will fall for it.

[Or who just want an excuse to pretend nothing ever happened, to ignore the violence as long as it doesn't personally affect them.]

And even if they should go through with their plan... well, we both know what will happen. [Because Mira's exactly right; this would breed nothing but deeper resentment.] And with no attention at all towards the underlying issues.

[Of course, to him, the underlying problem was 'being mortal', but even ignoring that, the Mirrorbound, refugees, and Monsters in general were going to be no more liked in the long run. This was bound to happen again.]

Only until it happens to them and will have to seek those whom they shunned for aid.

[But would she take the extended hand for those seeking help? She's unsure herself but the mental wounds of it are still very very raw right now. But that won't help them right now. The idea is to try and make him feel a little better even if it'll take awhile to do so.]

But enough on the politics for now, how are you faring?

[The Ascian certainly wouldn't blame Mira for not helping those who had stood silently by. He definitely wouldn't help, but then, he wouldn't have in the first place. The only difference now is the change in focus from 'observation' to 'assistance of a select few'. This 'allies' thing Vanitas mentioned.

The rest, however, could burn.

But he's... not sure how to answer her question, and in lieu of an immediate reply, Emet-Selch continues with his tea while it was still warm.

He clearly wasn't fine. He could always give the sarcastic or bitter answer of gesturing towards his injuries and asking how she thought he was faring. But that wouldn't be fair; Mira was probably asking because she wanted to know, and not just for the sake of politeness.]

I was tortured, Mira, what do you expect?

[Okay he couldn't restrain the impulse entirely. He glances sideways at her, despite not actually being able to see her like that without turning his head further.]

Not well, but I'll survive.

[He wouldn't be Hades if there wasn't some kind of sarcastic bite to his tone. She'd take that over the silence and uncertainty for sure. A stupid question but one that had to be asked. Doubt anyone actually feels good by rich assholes doing all sorts of questionable things.

Surviving sometimes is what one can do and yet, Mira cannot help but feel like it isn't enough. She wants everyone involved in the incident to simply burn and she knows it will not happen. Greater Good, her arse.]

I'm sorry...for not getting to you sooner.

[She tried to do anything she could then. So many things and raw emotions which thankfully remained blocked off.]

[Her response just gets a small headshake.]

Why? I wasn't expecting anyone to come.

[How could he? There were claims of caring, there were Bonds, there was cooperation and conversation, there was intimacy and friendship. But when it came down to it he was alone. How could he ever trust otherwise?

His manner is detached, lightly sarcastic; blocked off is the tangled mess of everything else. The usual suspects- loneliness and grief- though stirred up by hopelessness, infested by fear and resentment. The moment it tried to settle, some thought would set everything churning anew.]

By turning up at all, you've exceeded expectations.

[Given their future, there is a point to his words. Why come if the man is already dead? Why go save someone who will do the same to another? Hells, she has no idea how G'raha would feel about it. And yet...Mira wanted to. Not for the sake of being a godsdamned hero but because she wanted to save him.

She spoke before about helping the innocents and victims and while it was very true to this moment, in her mind, he was in there too. Just on a higher level. A rather higher one. Now that she thinks about it, she wouldn't have gone to the lengths she did beforehand, wouldn't she? Next when she speaks, it's quiet.]

The entire time as I was trying to get anything on a location, all I could think about was to get to you. I meant what I said down there.

["I would be more than glad to escort them personally into the Abyss, but there is someone more important who needs us." She's not been one to regret her words or actions and she's not going to start now.]

[Of course Mira would be there to save others. And when she came across him, he doubted that he would've been left behind. But to have been specifically sought out--

Even hearing the words, they were hard to accept.]

Why?

[The same word, but a different question. He did remember what she had said in that place. As surreal as the experience had been, as shaky as his grasp on reality could be, it wasn't the sort of thing he would have imagined up.

Turning his head to actually see her, his grip on his mug tightens.]

Why would you ever claim something like that?

Because it's true.

[It's a simple answer in her opinion. And in her mind, correct. Gods, she wants to try and let him know through their tether just how she felt during that time but when he is healed more, when the dust has settled...she'll find a way.]

That's not much of an answer.

[But then, it hadn't been much of a question. More a protest of the impossibility. When was the last time he'd been important to anyone? And why did it matter whether he was or not?]

You must be mistaken. Or deluded.

[It's a cold tone, dismissive, unkind. It was an old, old habit; the closer something got, the more it had to be pushed away. Convinced to leave. (Don't you dare abandon him.)]

You don't honestly think something like this will make a difference to me?

[Closing his eyes, as if he couldn't even be bothered to look at her, he shakes his head. There was no point. (Not again.)]

You're just a broken shell. Whatever sentiment you think you possess will pass momentarily.

[Same type of question gets same type of answer.]

You know by now that neither of those apply when it comes to myself.

[She's a stubborn fool for sure, Mira will admit to that. Delusional? No, far from it.]

It will not pass. Hasn't for awhile and I seriously doubt it will go away.

[She wants to tell him. Say how his disappearance ached deep within her being and how scared she was to lose him. That couldn't be just the Bond talking, right?

She won't leave unless that is what he truly wishes. She can wait.]

Some sort of hero's intuition?

[His scorn is unmistakable. But he's not going to ask her to leave. He doesn't want her to leave. But at the same time, if he caused her to leave, he would get to feel justified.

It was fine for him to care about someone; it was unfathomable for it to be returned. That meant he had no control over it, that someone might try to get close to him in turn. He'd had no control over anything for that week- a helplessness he hadn't felt since the world was broken. And while this was merely his own life and not the fate of a star, it was unnerving.]

Even if you're right--

[No, he couldn't even allow that much; making a disgusted sound, he turns away entirely.]

I've no interest in whatever insincere pretense you believe you're offering.

Nay, mine own.

[It's getting harder to express how she feels in words. No matter what she speaks, Hades in turn will deny it. Perhaps...no, that cannot be a solution. It's too soon! And yet...

Her hands grip the sheets tight between having these thoughts and trying to catch herself from falling due to how tired she is. But...]

...I can show you. But I fear that with what happened, it might be too much. If you ask it, I will do as so.

Don't--

[Is the immediate response. Just because he knew it was true didn't mean he wanted to have it confirmed. That meant he would have to deal with it.

Even the threat was enough to have him tense up. It sets his injuries protesting, but that was little compared to that mental rawness. Looking away as he is, he misses that sign of her exhaustion.]

Believe whatever you like. It makes no difference.

[It's why she asked first instead of forcing it. Why she keeps up her barriers because he doesn't need to feel the fear she had, the weariness she still carries with her for the lack of rest she refused to take. Even after Vanitas made her rest, it didn't last long because her body decided to scream at her to wake up.

Gods, if he ever learns how she acted at the Coven before she speaks on it. Mira knew it was bad but dammit did that missing Bond wasn't just numb then but painful. She may have said that it is for everyone taken, and true to an extent, but she did have a personal stake in it.

...why did it hurt her so? It would be easier to blame the Bond for making her emotions go haywire but...was it that simple?]

...do you wish me to stay with you for a time?

[A question yes but in reality: 'I don't want to leave' is her actual words behind it.]

[If he does ever find out or feel the extent of it... he really won't know what to do with it. To face knowing that amount of effort and worry had been spent on him--

On an enemy, one she'd already been willing to kill. To still care, despite knowing that if it came to it, they would always sacrifice the other in order to save their respective peoples.

Emet-Selch doesn't answer immediately, or even seem to have heard. But eventually, he shifts to find a secure place to put his mug down, before turning back to face Mira. Though guarded, his gaze is less cold- but a little lost, somehow, and tired.]

Stay.

[And because somehow, it felt necessary--]

Please.

[How can she say no after that? She shifts to face him, giving a small smile in reply as a way to try and counter just how tired he must feel. It's why she hasn't complained about her own, it's nothing compared to what he has been through.]

I would for as long as you wish.

[Both hands let go of the sheets as one slowly reaches for a hand to touch. Just to let him know that she is here for him.]

[Closed] Aftermath

Emet-Selch (ShB Spoilers from here on out)

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