middaeg | [Closed] Aftermath

Only until it happens to them and will have to seek those whom they shunned for aid.

[But would she take the extended hand for those seeking help? She's unsure herself but the mental wounds of it are still very very raw right now. But that won't help them right now. The idea is to try and make him feel a little better even if it'll take awhile to do so.]

But enough on the politics for now, how are you faring?

[The Ascian certainly wouldn't blame Mira for not helping those who had stood silently by. He definitely wouldn't help, but then, he wouldn't have in the first place. The only difference now is the change in focus from 'observation' to 'assistance of a select few'. This 'allies' thing Vanitas mentioned.

The rest, however, could burn.

But he's... not sure how to answer her question, and in lieu of an immediate reply, Emet-Selch continues with his tea while it was still warm.

He clearly wasn't fine. He could always give the sarcastic or bitter answer of gesturing towards his injuries and asking how she thought he was faring. But that wouldn't be fair; Mira was probably asking because she wanted to know, and not just for the sake of politeness.]

I was tortured, Mira, what do you expect?

[Okay he couldn't restrain the impulse entirely. He glances sideways at her, despite not actually being able to see her like that without turning his head further.]

Not well, but I'll survive.

[He wouldn't be Hades if there wasn't some kind of sarcastic bite to his tone. She'd take that over the silence and uncertainty for sure. A stupid question but one that had to be asked. Doubt anyone actually feels good by rich assholes doing all sorts of questionable things.

Surviving sometimes is what one can do and yet, Mira cannot help but feel like it isn't enough. She wants everyone involved in the incident to simply burn and she knows it will not happen. Greater Good, her arse.]

I'm sorry...for not getting to you sooner.

[She tried to do anything she could then. So many things and raw emotions which thankfully remained blocked off.]

[Her response just gets a small headshake.]

Why? I wasn't expecting anyone to come.

[How could he? There were claims of caring, there were Bonds, there was cooperation and conversation, there was intimacy and friendship. But when it came down to it he was alone. How could he ever trust otherwise?

His manner is detached, lightly sarcastic; blocked off is the tangled mess of everything else. The usual suspects- loneliness and grief- though stirred up by hopelessness, infested by fear and resentment. The moment it tried to settle, some thought would set everything churning anew.]

By turning up at all, you've exceeded expectations.

[Given their future, there is a point to his words. Why come if the man is already dead? Why go save someone who will do the same to another? Hells, she has no idea how G'raha would feel about it. And yet...Mira wanted to. Not for the sake of being a godsdamned hero but because she wanted to save him.

She spoke before about helping the innocents and victims and while it was very true to this moment, in her mind, he was in there too. Just on a higher level. A rather higher one. Now that she thinks about it, she wouldn't have gone to the lengths she did beforehand, wouldn't she? Next when she speaks, it's quiet.]

The entire time as I was trying to get anything on a location, all I could think about was to get to you. I meant what I said down there.

["I would be more than glad to escort them personally into the Abyss, but there is someone more important who needs us." She's not been one to regret her words or actions and she's not going to start now.]

[Of course Mira would be there to save others. And when she came across him, he doubted that he would've been left behind. But to have been specifically sought out--

Even hearing the words, they were hard to accept.]

Why?

[The same word, but a different question. He did remember what she had said in that place. As surreal as the experience had been, as shaky as his grasp on reality could be, it wasn't the sort of thing he would have imagined up.

Turning his head to actually see her, his grip on his mug tightens.]

Why would you ever claim something like that?

Because it's true.

[It's a simple answer in her opinion. And in her mind, correct. Gods, she wants to try and let him know through their tether just how she felt during that time but when he is healed more, when the dust has settled...she'll find a way.]

That's not much of an answer.

[But then, it hadn't been much of a question. More a protest of the impossibility. When was the last time he'd been important to anyone? And why did it matter whether he was or not?]

You must be mistaken. Or deluded.

[It's a cold tone, dismissive, unkind. It was an old, old habit; the closer something got, the more it had to be pushed away. Convinced to leave. (Don't you dare abandon him.)]

You don't honestly think something like this will make a difference to me?

[Closing his eyes, as if he couldn't even be bothered to look at her, he shakes his head. There was no point. (Not again.)]

You're just a broken shell. Whatever sentiment you think you possess will pass momentarily.

[Same type of question gets same type of answer.]

You know by now that neither of those apply when it comes to myself.

[She's a stubborn fool for sure, Mira will admit to that. Delusional? No, far from it.]

It will not pass. Hasn't for awhile and I seriously doubt it will go away.

[She wants to tell him. Say how his disappearance ached deep within her being and how scared she was to lose him. That couldn't be just the Bond talking, right?

She won't leave unless that is what he truly wishes. She can wait.]

Some sort of hero's intuition?

[His scorn is unmistakable. But he's not going to ask her to leave. He doesn't want her to leave. But at the same time, if he caused her to leave, he would get to feel justified.

It was fine for him to care about someone; it was unfathomable for it to be returned. That meant he had no control over it, that someone might try to get close to him in turn. He'd had no control over anything for that week- a helplessness he hadn't felt since the world was broken. And while this was merely his own life and not the fate of a star, it was unnerving.]

Even if you're right--

[No, he couldn't even allow that much; making a disgusted sound, he turns away entirely.]

I've no interest in whatever insincere pretense you believe you're offering.

Nay, mine own.

[It's getting harder to express how she feels in words. No matter what she speaks, Hades in turn will deny it. Perhaps...no, that cannot be a solution. It's too soon! And yet...

Her hands grip the sheets tight between having these thoughts and trying to catch herself from falling due to how tired she is. But...]

...I can show you. But I fear that with what happened, it might be too much. If you ask it, I will do as so.

Don't--

[Is the immediate response. Just because he knew it was true didn't mean he wanted to have it confirmed. That meant he would have to deal with it.

Even the threat was enough to have him tense up. It sets his injuries protesting, but that was little compared to that mental rawness. Looking away as he is, he misses that sign of her exhaustion.]

Believe whatever you like. It makes no difference.

[It's why she asked first instead of forcing it. Why she keeps up her barriers because he doesn't need to feel the fear she had, the weariness she still carries with her for the lack of rest she refused to take. Even after Vanitas made her rest, it didn't last long because her body decided to scream at her to wake up.

Gods, if he ever learns how she acted at the Coven before she speaks on it. Mira knew it was bad but dammit did that missing Bond wasn't just numb then but painful. She may have said that it is for everyone taken, and true to an extent, but she did have a personal stake in it.

...why did it hurt her so? It would be easier to blame the Bond for making her emotions go haywire but...was it that simple?]

...do you wish me to stay with you for a time?

[A question yes but in reality: 'I don't want to leave' is her actual words behind it.]

[If he does ever find out or feel the extent of it... he really won't know what to do with it. To face knowing that amount of effort and worry had been spent on him--

On an enemy, one she'd already been willing to kill. To still care, despite knowing that if it came to it, they would always sacrifice the other in order to save their respective peoples.

Emet-Selch doesn't answer immediately, or even seem to have heard. But eventually, he shifts to find a secure place to put his mug down, before turning back to face Mira. Though guarded, his gaze is less cold- but a little lost, somehow, and tired.]

Stay.

[And because somehow, it felt necessary--]

Please.

[How can she say no after that? She shifts to face him, giving a small smile in reply as a way to try and counter just how tired he must feel. It's why she hasn't complained about her own, it's nothing compared to what he has been through.]

I would for as long as you wish.

[Both hands let go of the sheets as one slowly reaches for a hand to touch. Just to let him know that she is here for him.]

[Though he doesn't return her smile, Emet-Selch does take her hand, fingers lightly brushing against hers.]

...Would you stay for a few hours during the night, for a time? It's not been entirely easy to remain asleep for very long- and perhaps the company would help.

[To not be reminded of being back in that place, his greatest company the interminable waiting for death--

But partially for Mira's sake as well. He completely suspects she's not been taking care of herself at all, and if she can get a couple hours of daily not-moving time... well, it's better than nothing.

Moreover, just- quietly being together after everything that had happened- it might provide its own sort of healing.]

[He'd be right on the lack of her own self care; minus the bare essentials, Mira's efforts went into everyone else's wellbeing. She didn't need to worry about herself because she was fine. ~~Lies~~ As his fingers brush against hers, Mira brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles.]

For you, I would.

[They can both use the time together. It's been hell and just being in a close proximity might...help somehow. She's never done something like this before, but ever since becoming Bonded with the ascian, there's been a lot of new things and emotions Mira's been experiencing.]

[But if you collapse Mira, that does no one any good at all. But he calms the smallest bit at the kiss to his hand; small gestures like that he did tend to appreciate more than most.]

You're quite convincing, sometimes.

[Shifting over slightly, he half-curls against her side, resting his head against her shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable position, honestly, his ribs did not like this at all, but the contact was possibly worth it.]

I can almost believe you.

[It'll be fine. She's fine. But at more contact, Mira has to wonder if he was feeling alright. Magical as the world is, he is still greatly injured. The Warrior however, has an idea.

Besides, she's not going to respond to that remark. Let her actions speak instead if her feelings cannot.]

Wait. Allow me.

[She holds him steady as she shifts herself so she is lying down on her back instead. And then, Mira gently brings Hades down with her, back to his head resting on her shoulder again.]

There. Feel better?

[The Ascian waits patiently for her to settle again, then lets himself be guided down, resting on his side, leaning against Mira's own.

This was somewhat better. Though the actual process of settling was uncomfortable, and he was generally achey no matter what, this was no more painful than any other position. Fortunately it was his better arm that was under him, while the weaker one he could drape loosely across her. Burrowing his head into her shoulder, he muffles a sigh against it.]

...It's no worse, at least.

[If she can be some kind of small soothing balm, Mira would try it. Touch seems to be the best for them right now as she lets her fingers run through his hair gently.]

Just let me know if it gets too much for you. I want you to be able to rest.

[Besides, being a Warrior shaped pillow isn't a bad job.]

[If not a balm to apply, she was soothing nonetheless. It was hard to go wrong with a hair stroke and the warmth of her company. Touch likely was the most effective option; words were far easier to twist, misinterpret, discard.

It was like when she'd arrived with the others to save him; actions were more difficult to deny.]

Just stay where you are, and I'll be able to.

[Mumbled against her. For being so strong she was also very soft.]

[Just don't tell her she's soft, she'll go very red and try to deny it like he and Vanitas do about positive feelings.]

I'll do my best.

[It's nothing but touching from her end; the closeness of her body to Hades's own, the stroking of his hair and quiet grip of her other in his weaker hand draped across her form, and her lips barely touching his head in reassurance. Like trying to drape a warm familiar blanket to just be a reminder that everything will be alright. She cannot promise that evils will try and cause harm again but she can try to defend.

She can't help but wonder...he means that much to her and in a certain span of time...perhaps there is some good in this place despite what has happened.]

[They all have their weak points, be it softness or positivity.

But Emet-Selch doesn't respond this time, eyes closed, trying to focus only on those small pieces of physical contact. The sound and feeling of her breath. That strange feeling of being protected by her presence alone. He'd never been protected nor needed protection before. And what an absurd place to find it....

But, somehow, bit by bit, his remaining tension begins to fade. While he'd be far less sure that there was any good to be found in this world- moments like this, despite the horrors that preceded them, were a consolation.]

[Closed] Aftermath

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