001

[plasticasshole]

Who: Connor + Open!
When: During the full moons
Where: Around the city
What: Connor gets his Merrow tail... at the most inconvenient of times
Warnings: None so far!

[Connor is just walking back to his cottage when his legs stop working and he falls in the street. At first he's just confused- he doesn't just fall-, but then he realises he can't get back up. A little panicked, because this isn't normal, the LED on Connor's head flashes red as his legs begin to fuse together and form a bright orange and blue tail.

Why here? He isn't wet. He drags himself forward a few feet; he lives quite a bit further away, but what else can he do? Luckily someone seems to be coming his way. He sits up, hoping it's not someone who dislikes monsters.]

Can you help me?

[He gestures helplessly to his tail.]

Comments

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[This is what you get for living with Hank Anderson, Connor. And this is why your ex-wife left him okay no.]

can do

[He'll show up soon enough with the wheelbarrow. It's completely dry.]

Shit, not exactly the best way to bring you back...but otherwise I'm pretty sure my back would give out. Wouldn't help either of us. I think I should be good with adding water once you're in. I'll lift you up fireman carry's style when you're ready.

[plasticasshole]

[Connor eyes the dry wheelbarrow, but doesn't say anything. Worst case scenario, Hank can get him back home and he can run a bath.]

I hope I won't be stuck like this for too long...

[He sits up more though, and looks up at Hank.]

I'm ready.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Hope not either. You'd be bored out of you mind with only me as company.

[And Sumo, if the dog barking is any indication. At Connor's command, he lifts him up with both his arms, slinging him over his back. It's been a few years that he's done this, and to his credit he manages to do it without complaining. At least for now. Slowly, he makes his way right next to the wheelbarrow and attempts to put Connor as gently as he can into it.]

Okay. Now for the hard part.

[He starts to mutter words, laced with a few curses until a few drops of rain begin to fall over Connor...and himself. As the drops turn into a downpour, Hank just stands there with a sigh as he begins to get drenched. Taking his coat, he turns it over so that the rain doesn't just fall on his face.]

Well...better than fucking nothing. How you don' now?

[plasticasshole]

I'm sure there's a lot I could still learn about you, given enough time.

[He situates himself better in the wheelbarrow, and tips his head back to enjoy the rain as it falls on him.]

Much better. Thank you.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[Unfortunately Hank's self-worth has ebbed away due to the past few years so he just replies to his first comment with a simple grunt as he tries to readjust the coat above his head.]

Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

[Still, there's a brief smile as he takes both of the hand grips and slowly begins their trek back home. Hank has to walk fast enough that the water doesn't make the wheel impossible to move and not to make the dirt under him impossible to move.

In the end, he just gives up with his coat and puts it on around his shoulders, letting the rain fall on him freely.]

I'll figure out how to get this spell working correctly eventually.

[plasticasshole]

[Connor notes the grunt and looks up at Hank from the wheelbarrow.]

I'm sure you will. Is there anything in particular you're excited to learn?

[He might as well take the opportunity to start learning a little more about Hank now.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[He briefly locks eyes with him before continuing to push, frowning in thought. He could answer seriously, or he could open up with a joke that he realizes, even as he speaks, might actually be possible.]

Well clearly I'm going to find a way to turn salad into hamburgers. That's my end goal here.

[plasticasshole]

[Connor purses his lips disapprovingly, though he doesn't look entirely annoyed. Just exasperated.]

I think I should learn how to cook. Then I can make you healthier food.

[He's sure he can do it, he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.]

I'm not saying you can't have a hamburger every so often, but maybe not all the time?

[He gives Hank a hopeful look.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[Having never dealt with androids much before, Hank can't even give back a clever witty retort about 'why not just use a cooking module']

Now that? See, that's a bad idea. That's giving you way too much power.

[Damn androids and wanting to make his life better.]

Right, but imagine it for a minute...someone uses magic to make healthy food taste like hamburgers. How fucking rich do you think that person would be? See that? That's real magic.

[ Probably Kamski rich. That being said, please appreciate the fact he's only all far gone.]

[plasticasshole]

I'm sure somebody would have done that already if it were that easy.

[Maybe they have. Connor will have to look into it.]

I realise salads might not taste as good, but your body will thank you for it.

[Says the guy who will be eternally skinny, and doesn't have to eat vegetables to stay that way.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

I never said it was going to be fucking easy either.

[He shrugs, but grins at him like 'challenge accepted if it means I get to eat salads that taste like hamburger'.]

Yeah well, it's not like I was taking care of my body lately. Humans are pretty screwed in that department. Why make the good tasting things be so bad for us?

[plasticasshole]

I'm sure there are things that taste good without being bad for you, too.

[He smiles a little back though, because it's hard not to when Hank grins like that.]

I won't stop you from trying to make your salads taste better with magic, though.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Yeah, well if you can find 'em, maybe I'll consider.

[He has no idea of Connor would even know if a thing tastes good or bad, but at least he decides to leave the door open for him.]

You really seem to think you'll be able to force me to eat salad, don't you?

[plasticasshole]

[He doesn't really know what something good would taste like, honestly. He can lick old blood and not care, after all.]

I'm very confident that I can encourage you to eat it, yes.

[And by "encourage" he means "nag until you give in".]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

So like how do everything else, huh? Fuck, how many times I've asked you to do something and you never do...

[He thinks back with a laugh but be careful Connor, Hank has a limit to his nagging tolerance.]

We're almost home.

[Hopefully the android not getting too comfortable, because Sumo's whining at the side of the wheelbarrow, knowing there's no place for the both of them, and this despite the rain.]

Oh hell no, you old mutt! There's enough old dog fur smell going around right now and I can't carry the both of you!

[plasticasshole]

Good.

[He just wants to sit in the bath for a while. He reaches out to pat Sumo in an attempt to stop him from whining.]

You need a bath, Sumo.

[He doesn't really react to it, but he can smell the wet dog in the air.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Well, I can't have you both in the tub, so I'll clean him outside later. He'll just get confined to the kitchen area.

[First he does want to make sure that Connor's okay because - well suddenly he's turned into a fishman without any particular reason . Not that Hank cares, of course. As they get close to the front door, he continues their conversation.]

So no one zapped you or some shit? With all the magic around, I just want to make sure you weren't attacked or targeted.

[plasticasshole]

I don't think they did. I was alone when it happened.

[He thinks he was alone, anyway.]

I can't think of any reason why I would have suddenly changed, but I don't think it was anyone else's doing.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Thankfully we're both detectives. We can figure it out later.

[Good enough for now, right? It's the best comfort he can give him. At the front door he weights his option; the frame is too small for the wheelbarrow, but on the other hand, his poor fucking back.

Even then, it's still an easy choice.]

Brace yourself cause I'm gonna carry you over to the bathroom. [He mutters the next part under his breath, which would be near impossible for a human to hear, but certainly not with an android with enhanced senses.] With any fucking luck, we don't end up face-first in the ground.

[His belief in himself to manage it is another thing entirely.]

[plasticasshole]

[Connor sits up more, and when Hank leans in to grab him he loops his arms around his shoulders.]

You're a strong man. I'm sure you can carry me to the bathroom.

[Maybe he couldn't carry him all the way home, but the bathroom is close by.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Urgh. [Stop hitting him with praise, he might actually start to believe you. The steps are slow but careful as Hank eventually manages to get the both of them to the bathroom, trip free. He settles Connor in it before turning the water on.]

Just wish this thing was bigger. It's even more ridiculous than that bed in your room when you're like this. Pretty sure that tail could kill a man if you wanted to.

[plasticasshole]

[He lets go of Hank and starts splashing water on his tail, sighing.]

Well, I don't really want to kill anyone with it. I just want my legs back.

[He wonders how long he'll have to wait until they come back. For now, he's stuck with half of his tail hanging out of the tub.]

Maybe we should make that pool more of a priority.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Yeah...wonder if we need to get some permit for it.

[Well honestly, not that this would bother Hank Anderson. He'd do a number of illegal things to help Connor out.]

Tell you what. Once you get those legs back, we can start thinking about how big we want it and how deep and what type of spells I'll need to make it work.

[Hey did someone order a wet dog that leaves muddle footprints the entire pathway to here.]

Sumo! I said stay in the kitchen! How hard is that? Why does no one ever listen to me...

[plasticasshole]

I'll need it to be pretty deep.

[He needs the space to swim. He turns to give Sumo a little smile, gesturing for him to come over so he can pat him.]

The bigger you can make it, the better.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

I'll have to figure out how much we can dig before it starts causing issues. You know the biggest thing I've done before this is a BBQ pit? Shit I'm gonna see what we can get away with.

[They might strike something buried deep underground in this world for all he knows.]

Wonder if they have some kiddie pools around meanwhile.

[If you think Hank is not going to tease, then you thought wrong.]