001

[plasticasshole]

Who: Connor + Open!
When: During the full moons
Where: Around the city
What: Connor gets his Merrow tail... at the most inconvenient of times
Warnings: None so far!

[Connor is just walking back to his cottage when his legs stop working and he falls in the street. At first he's just confused- he doesn't just fall-, but then he realises he can't get back up. A little panicked, because this isn't normal, the LED on Connor's head flashes red as his legs begin to fuse together and form a bright orange and blue tail.

Why here? He isn't wet. He drags himself forward a few feet; he lives quite a bit further away, but what else can he do? Luckily someone seems to be coming his way. He sits up, hoping it's not someone who dislikes monsters.]

Can you help me?

[He gestures helplessly to his tail.]

Comments

[plasticasshole]

I'm sure there are things that taste good without being bad for you, too.

[He smiles a little back though, because it's hard not to when Hank grins like that.]

I won't stop you from trying to make your salads taste better with magic, though.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Yeah, well if you can find 'em, maybe I'll consider.

[He has no idea of Connor would even know if a thing tastes good or bad, but at least he decides to leave the door open for him.]

You really seem to think you'll be able to force me to eat salad, don't you?

[plasticasshole]

[He doesn't really know what something good would taste like, honestly. He can lick old blood and not care, after all.]

I'm very confident that I can encourage you to eat it, yes.

[And by "encourage" he means "nag until you give in".]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

So like how do everything else, huh? Fuck, how many times I've asked you to do something and you never do...

[He thinks back with a laugh but be careful Connor, Hank has a limit to his nagging tolerance.]

We're almost home.

[Hopefully the android not getting too comfortable, because Sumo's whining at the side of the wheelbarrow, knowing there's no place for the both of them, and this despite the rain.]

Oh hell no, you old mutt! There's enough old dog fur smell going around right now and I can't carry the both of you!

[plasticasshole]

Good.

[He just wants to sit in the bath for a while. He reaches out to pat Sumo in an attempt to stop him from whining.]

You need a bath, Sumo.

[He doesn't really react to it, but he can smell the wet dog in the air.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Well, I can't have you both in the tub, so I'll clean him outside later. He'll just get confined to the kitchen area.

[First he does want to make sure that Connor's okay because - well suddenly he's turned into a fishman without any particular reason . Not that Hank cares, of course. As they get close to the front door, he continues their conversation.]

So no one zapped you or some shit? With all the magic around, I just want to make sure you weren't attacked or targeted.

[plasticasshole]

I don't think they did. I was alone when it happened.

[He thinks he was alone, anyway.]

I can't think of any reason why I would have suddenly changed, but I don't think it was anyone else's doing.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Thankfully we're both detectives. We can figure it out later.

[Good enough for now, right? It's the best comfort he can give him. At the front door he weights his option; the frame is too small for the wheelbarrow, but on the other hand, his poor fucking back.

Even then, it's still an easy choice.]

Brace yourself cause I'm gonna carry you over to the bathroom. [He mutters the next part under his breath, which would be near impossible for a human to hear, but certainly not with an android with enhanced senses.] With any fucking luck, we don't end up face-first in the ground.

[His belief in himself to manage it is another thing entirely.]

[plasticasshole]

[Connor sits up more, and when Hank leans in to grab him he loops his arms around his shoulders.]

You're a strong man. I'm sure you can carry me to the bathroom.

[Maybe he couldn't carry him all the way home, but the bathroom is close by.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Urgh. [Stop hitting him with praise, he might actually start to believe you. The steps are slow but careful as Hank eventually manages to get the both of them to the bathroom, trip free. He settles Connor in it before turning the water on.]

Just wish this thing was bigger. It's even more ridiculous than that bed in your room when you're like this. Pretty sure that tail could kill a man if you wanted to.

[plasticasshole]

[He lets go of Hank and starts splashing water on his tail, sighing.]

Well, I don't really want to kill anyone with it. I just want my legs back.

[He wonders how long he'll have to wait until they come back. For now, he's stuck with half of his tail hanging out of the tub.]

Maybe we should make that pool more of a priority.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Yeah...wonder if we need to get some permit for it.

[Well honestly, not that this would bother Hank Anderson. He'd do a number of illegal things to help Connor out.]

Tell you what. Once you get those legs back, we can start thinking about how big we want it and how deep and what type of spells I'll need to make it work.

[Hey did someone order a wet dog that leaves muddle footprints the entire pathway to here.]

Sumo! I said stay in the kitchen! How hard is that? Why does no one ever listen to me...

[plasticasshole]

I'll need it to be pretty deep.

[He needs the space to swim. He turns to give Sumo a little smile, gesturing for him to come over so he can pat him.]

The bigger you can make it, the better.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

I'll have to figure out how much we can dig before it starts causing issues. You know the biggest thing I've done before this is a BBQ pit? Shit I'm gonna see what we can get away with.

[They might strike something buried deep underground in this world for all he knows.]

Wonder if they have some kiddie pools around meanwhile.

[If you think Hank is not going to tease, then you thought wrong.]

[plasticasshole]

[Connor splashes Hank with some of the bath water in retaliation for his teasing.]

...It might not be a terrible idea.

[It would be bigger than the bath, and he has a lot of tail.]

when you think you've hit the sent button but no

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[Fucking worth it. He already was splashed from the could and from Sumo's wet dog fur, it's not like there was much more to damage after this. He laughs. It's good to laugh, sometimes, especially in this strange world and situation that it offers.]

Maybe a few of them so you could get that tail of yours controlled, huh? Maybe one so that Sumo can get cleaned without turning the bathroom into a war zone.

[plasticasshole]

[At least Hank is laughing, which Connor thinks is probably a fair trade.]

Maybe in the morning you can go out and get one, assuming my tail hasn't gone away by then.

[It's not like Connor can go get it himself.]

If it's a nice day you could sit in it, too.

[He doesn't want to have to sit on his own all day just because he can't walk.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Heh heh. Why do today when you can put off tomorrow?

[Hank please stop being a little shit when you're 53 years old. He mostly uses humor to cope, in this case.]

The pool or the bath? [He knows exactly what Connor is talking about.] Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I ain't about to go out adventuring or some shit if you're stuck somewhere. Hell we could just bring you to a proper body of water instead.

[plasticasshole]

You'd take me to the ocean?

[He seems pleasantly surprised, because it had obviously taken Hank a lot of effort to get him back here.]

You could bring Sumo, too.

[fuckingpassw0rd]

I always regret making choices when I'm sober, but here we are. Besides, feels like it might help you out...wouldn't want to be stuck in a bath either if I turned into a mermaid and couldn't change back.

[You think he will one day call it properly? The answer is no.]

Probably a good idea since he'd tear this place apart on his own anyway.

[plasticasshole]

[Luckily, Connor doesn't mind being called a mermaid. He doesn't associate the word with anything but what's happening to him.]

I think you should make more choices when you're sober, personally.

[Because when he's drunk, he looks at photos of his dead son and plays Russian Roulette. And while Connor sympathises with his loss, he does want Hank to stay alive.]

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Yeah well...

[He lingers at that, looking away before shrugging, unsure that to say. The good news is that...he didn't have the photo of his son here, or that special gun. The bad news is booze was still plentiful in this world, but at least Hank was poor and mostly concentrating and making Connor's life not hell right now.]

...don't overthink it before I accidentally turn on the hot tap. Uh...should I be getting some salt, or is just this type of water fine?

[plasticasshole]

This water is fine. Thank you, though.

[Connor isn't used to someone caring so much about his wellbeing, and he's quite frankly not sure how to show his gratitude. His tail flicks idly as he thinks on it.]

You've really gone out of your way to help me. What can I do to make it up to you?

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Oh for fuck's sake Connor I'm sure you'd do the same if the situation was reversed. That's enough as far as I'm concerned.

[Topic: Currently avoided. He grabs a chair from the kitchen and drags it over with a spell book because what else is he going to do?]

But if you're really intent on payin' me back, maybe make me some food when you get your legs back.

[plasticasshole]

Of course I would.

[He shifts so that he's more or less on his side, arms crossed over the edge of the tub, head leaning on them.]

I'll have to get a cookbook from somewhere, but I'm sure I could make edible food. It's just a matter of following instructions...

[Hank likes burgers, maybe he can make some that are less fattening.]