Towa Herschel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
overworker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
middaeg2019-09-18 01:08 pm
overworker) wrote in middaeg2019-09-18 01:08 pm
Entry tags:
✧ [OPEN]
Who: Towa Herschel and open
When: after 9/16
Where: Dorchacht
What: After the shared dream, Towa has a lot on her mind.
Warnings: None
Resistance Work
[It might have been wise to take a step back for her. Even she knew that. But she can't bring herself to do that with so much to be done still.
But this isn't something that can be done safely when your mind isn't actively in it.
The mission was still a success. But she'd made a number of careless mistakes that resulted in a number of cuts and bruises that shouldn't have happened. After, she can only do one thing-- and that is wrap her wounds. Luckily she prepared a number of first aid supplies when she left. It wasn't like she could begin to pretend that she was practiced in healing. She usually left that to others. Well... it will do for now. But it's a new sight for her-- bandages wrapped around her right arm and her left leg.]
Good as new.
[...right. If you witnessed her performance earlier though, you might wonder what's really going on. It's not hard to see something's bothering her.]
By the Docks
[The boat has already returned, so she knows there's really no point in her being here. Yet she finds herself wanting to sit by the water for a while. Looking out at the sky she tries to remember exactly what direction the city of Aefenglom was. There's no hope of seeing it, so she can only imagine what's going on there right now. Biting her lip, she kicks a little stone into the water and watches it splash.]
Towa, you can't keep being indecisive every time something important happens. You always do this... so it's no wonder you always end up with so many regrets.
[It certainly would be embarrassing if someone heard her own self-lecture.]
Shopping
[Towa promised Fie a souvenir and that at least is something she should be able to handle even in this state. It will give her some time to wander and maybe think through her-- her thoughts, fears, regrets, wishes... But with all that on her mind, she could probably actually use the help finding a suitable gift.]
I. [There are suitable weapons, an obvious choice perhaps, but one she knows Fie could put to very good use. The style is dark and sleek, and surprisingly light to carry.]
At this size, even I could wield it.
II. [She also observes the plants; both flowering and not. Fie was a member of the gardening club, after all. Maybe she would enjoy having something like this to plant back home?]
I wonder if they'd still grow comfortably back in Aefenglom...
When: after 9/16
Where: Dorchacht
What: After the shared dream, Towa has a lot on her mind.
Warnings: None
Resistance Work
[It might have been wise to take a step back for her. Even she knew that. But she can't bring herself to do that with so much to be done still.
But this isn't something that can be done safely when your mind isn't actively in it.
The mission was still a success. But she'd made a number of careless mistakes that resulted in a number of cuts and bruises that shouldn't have happened. After, she can only do one thing-- and that is wrap her wounds. Luckily she prepared a number of first aid supplies when she left. It wasn't like she could begin to pretend that she was practiced in healing. She usually left that to others. Well... it will do for now. But it's a new sight for her-- bandages wrapped around her right arm and her left leg.]
Good as new.
[...right. If you witnessed her performance earlier though, you might wonder what's really going on. It's not hard to see something's bothering her.]
By the Docks
[The boat has already returned, so she knows there's really no point in her being here. Yet she finds herself wanting to sit by the water for a while. Looking out at the sky she tries to remember exactly what direction the city of Aefenglom was. There's no hope of seeing it, so she can only imagine what's going on there right now. Biting her lip, she kicks a little stone into the water and watches it splash.]
Towa, you can't keep being indecisive every time something important happens. You always do this... so it's no wonder you always end up with so many regrets.
[It certainly would be embarrassing if someone heard her own self-lecture.]
Shopping
[Towa promised Fie a souvenir and that at least is something she should be able to handle even in this state. It will give her some time to wander and maybe think through her-- her thoughts, fears, regrets, wishes... But with all that on her mind, she could probably actually use the help finding a suitable gift.]
I. [There are suitable weapons, an obvious choice perhaps, but one she knows Fie could put to very good use. The style is dark and sleek, and surprisingly light to carry.]
At this size, even I could wield it.
II. [She also observes the plants; both flowering and not. Fie was a member of the gardening club, after all. Maybe she would enjoy having something like this to plant back home?]
I wonder if they'd still grow comfortably back in Aefenglom...
Resistance Work
But boy, does he notice the bandages on Towa when she comes back]
Towa? Are you okay?
no subject
My treatments aren't nearly as good as yours-- just a little basic first aid, but the pain isn't so bad anymore.
[If there's anyone she can feel confident in telling the truth about this though, it's Elliot.]
But... I can't say I'm okay. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kind of a mess right now.
no subject
[Yeah, it's never a good sign when Towa admits she's not okay. And he can take a few guesses as to why. ]
C'mon, let's go somewhere private so I can fix up those injuries and you can talk.
[He'll try to shepherd her to a quieter part of the resistance's area. Which granted, wasn't much considering where they were, but maybe a empty corner or a spare room will do. ]
no subject
[She follows him without much fuss. She'd hoped that she would be able to get them checked out properly anyway. Taking a seat, she gently unwraps the bandages on her leg first.
It's just a scratch, but she did get caught pretty good.]
I've... been having trouble sleeping. I guess it's really messed up my focus.
no subject
Really?
Was it...the dream, or something else? I mean, we have no shortage of bad things to keep us up at night in this town, but...
[He gets the feeling it's a certain someone they saw in the dream. Not much truly shakes Towa up this bad]
no subject
Or maybe she’s just terrible at hiding things.]
...I should be happy. Or... maybe I’m just scared. I don’t know. It felt so strange— or... well, it felt strange because it didn’t feel strange at all.
[Towa shakes her head.]
That didn’t make any sense. [Her head drops and her bangs cover her eyes.]
I feel so anxious— like I might explode. I know I need to be here, doing this but... I don’t feel like I’m here. Not really.
no subject
No, I think it makes sense. I've been going back and forth too.
[He sighs. He knows he wants to see Crow again, but what if it didn't happen? Was it wrong to wish for such a thing?]
I really wasn't expecting to see him again either.
no subject
At first, it was really painful. But then... it... it felt just like we were before.
[She pulled her head back up, towards the ceiling.]
I thought it would be more... I don’t know... weird. But it was just like... picking up where we left off.
no subject
I kinda think he did that on purpose. He's never exactly been good at the sentimental feeling moments, you know? He even called me a sap...
[Which okay, he fully admits he is one. But still!!]
no subject
[Yes they all know he deserved it, but still. He didn’t complain— not really.]
...I told him about the things going on here and— he basically said that Morgana’s days were numbered if we were getting involved.
[Well, he said her but— let’s be real. Morgana isn’t going to be scared of one tiny beginner witch.]
I know it’s more complicated than that but... it was a nice sentiment.
no subject
[SWEET AIDIOS TOWA.
And you know, there's something a little unsettling about their dear terrorist friend phrasing things like that, but surely....he meant...well.]
Yeah, it's nice to know he believes in us.
no subject
[LISTEN... HE WAS BEING MEAN...]
Yeah... I think we could all probably use a bit of that useless confidence of his somedays.
[Spoken with only the greatest fondness, really.]
no subject
[TOWA COULD YOU NOT SHOOT OUR DEAD FRIEND????]
no subject
[IT’S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE...]
no subject
W-When you said the other day you worried about keeping your composure, I thought you meant you'd cry a lot! Not...shoot people!
docks
[ Hi there, Towa, it's a nice afternoon for a stroll, isn't it? ]
no subject
[The only damage was a soaked shirt.
She smiles though-- really smiles.]
...the way he laughed then, it was... like I was back in school with him. Back before everything... Even if I never see him again I... I don't want to ever forget that moment.
no subject
[Still girl, he never would've suspected Towa to shoot her friend. Gonna Remember This.
But ah...yeah. The feelings. Elliot's own chest tightens]
...Yeah, I know what you mean. For a moment or two there, I almost forgot he was gone. [He has a sad smile] I didn't want to wake up.
no subject
[It was frustrating in a sense. But that was just a part of Crow.]
no subject
[Even when he was supposed to be their enemy, he'd do things that showed he did care. Like calling Toval to tell him where Rean was. ]
...New arrivals won't come until the start of next month. So we have time until then.
no subject
[Goodness, Lloyd. You certainly startled her. It caught her more off guard because it was someone she knew well. Seems like she should work a bit more on her perception-- she hadn't noticed him at all.
Ahem. Clearing her throat she gathers herself. Maybe it would be a good thing to talk through.]
Yeah, I suppose you're right. Making the wrong decisions is a pretty heavy weight to bear. But... if I can't move forward, I'll just end up holding others back. And then I won't be able to make the decisions I have to when I really need to the most.
no subject
[It certainly wouldn't be fair to dump all that on Fie by herself.]
I thought once we got back, there might be some time to rest-- but it seems like we might be busy for a little while longer. There might not be any guarantees, but with that many familiar faces we should probably make sure we're ready.
[The house might need some work if they're going to account for every potential arrival.]
no subject
[And not have angry Machias and Jusis filling up his messages]
Oh yeah, we gotta get things ready if they're coming. Jusis, Machias, maybe Crow...
We should have a welcome party! I told Fie I'd get her a kazoo if anyone showed up in the dream.
no subject
[ He comes up to stand next to her, looking out over the water. ]
Not many people can give an honest assessment of their flaws like that.
no subject
[It's a nice thought. It would be good to be back...]
I didn't realize it until now, but-- I've really missed that house. In such a short time it really has become such a special place to me.
[That house is the only place where she and so many of the people she cares about most can all live together the way they do now. You could come up with a million different scenarios and this would probably be the only one that could have brought them all together like this. Certainly not back home anyway, the way things were now.]
We'll have to work quick but, it'll be worth it to see the house so lively.
no subject
[Also they could all use something fun after this. Things have been...very heavy, to say the least.]
Haha, I know what you mean. It's kinda like living in the dorms again. I really miss Fie...and my instruments.
[Fie came before the instruments, that is clearly the highest honor you can get from Elliot]
Great! So let's do it! It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Just some decoration, some good food...
no subject
[Towa's just always been fortunate enough to have others there to see those things and point them out for her. But she still feels bad for making them do the work for her. She takes a deep breath and looks down at the water. It's calm, unlike her own inner turmoil.]
I go over the same things time after time. You would think it gets easier, but it never does. People always seem to look to me for guidance, but I can't even figure out what my own place in the world is. I'm grateful for the trust they put in me, and I know they truly believe in me. So I try to work hard to live up to that trust. But I've never seen myself as the leader they truly deserve. How can I when I can't even figure out what I want to do? So... instead I find myself working twice as hard just to struggle to keep that position. Not moving forward just... standing in one place.
no subject
[ Probably far worse than Towa ever will. ]
But when people have that much faith in you, it's probably not just that they think you'll do the right thing. It's also that they trust you to realize when you've done the wrong thing, and do your best to fix it.
no subject
It hasn't been the same without her here. I think she'll enjoy it too.
[But it's not just Fie that could use it at this point, she knows.]
I think it might be good for all of us. We've all neglected ourselves a little bit in favor of others this month. We've all earned a little break to do what we want to do.
no subject
[Try as she may, that's where her hesitation lies.]
And... It's because I know that that I always find myself hesitating. I'm afraid of what my mistakes could mean for others. [...] I worry that the trust they've given me may simply be a result of all the work I've put in, and not my true skill. If I'm not really cut out to be a leader... then my inadequacies could one day really hurt the people I care about the most.
no subject
Yeah, I think so too. We should bring her next time we have to travel somewhere.
[Someone else can be the one to stay behind while she goes on a life changing fieldtrip with Zuko]
Exactly. We could all use something positive, I think.
no subject
[Unless it's a nice trip, then that's fine.]
It would be nice if everyone could be together for a while... it'll be a while before everyone can really get settled in. [...] We'll have to tell them about the Guild, too.
no subject
[Music related stuff, Cwyld related stuff. He won't get into much detail for now]
Oh yeah... I wonder how they'll feel about it. [Because those three are nothing but strong opinions]
no subject
[It's an ambitious thing she's started, she knows that. And while she still believes in it, she would never want to burden any of her friends with that decision.]
no subject