Towa Herschel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
overworker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
middaeg2019-09-18 01:08 pm
overworker) wrote in middaeg2019-09-18 01:08 pm
Entry tags:
✧ [OPEN]
Who: Towa Herschel and open
When: after 9/16
Where: Dorchacht
What: After the shared dream, Towa has a lot on her mind.
Warnings: None
Resistance Work
[It might have been wise to take a step back for her. Even she knew that. But she can't bring herself to do that with so much to be done still.
But this isn't something that can be done safely when your mind isn't actively in it.
The mission was still a success. But she'd made a number of careless mistakes that resulted in a number of cuts and bruises that shouldn't have happened. After, she can only do one thing-- and that is wrap her wounds. Luckily she prepared a number of first aid supplies when she left. It wasn't like she could begin to pretend that she was practiced in healing. She usually left that to others. Well... it will do for now. But it's a new sight for her-- bandages wrapped around her right arm and her left leg.]
Good as new.
[...right. If you witnessed her performance earlier though, you might wonder what's really going on. It's not hard to see something's bothering her.]
By the Docks
[The boat has already returned, so she knows there's really no point in her being here. Yet she finds herself wanting to sit by the water for a while. Looking out at the sky she tries to remember exactly what direction the city of Aefenglom was. There's no hope of seeing it, so she can only imagine what's going on there right now. Biting her lip, she kicks a little stone into the water and watches it splash.]
Towa, you can't keep being indecisive every time something important happens. You always do this... so it's no wonder you always end up with so many regrets.
[It certainly would be embarrassing if someone heard her own self-lecture.]
Shopping
[Towa promised Fie a souvenir and that at least is something she should be able to handle even in this state. It will give her some time to wander and maybe think through her-- her thoughts, fears, regrets, wishes... But with all that on her mind, she could probably actually use the help finding a suitable gift.]
I. [There are suitable weapons, an obvious choice perhaps, but one she knows Fie could put to very good use. The style is dark and sleek, and surprisingly light to carry.]
At this size, even I could wield it.
II. [She also observes the plants; both flowering and not. Fie was a member of the gardening club, after all. Maybe she would enjoy having something like this to plant back home?]
I wonder if they'd still grow comfortably back in Aefenglom...
When: after 9/16
Where: Dorchacht
What: After the shared dream, Towa has a lot on her mind.
Warnings: None
Resistance Work
[It might have been wise to take a step back for her. Even she knew that. But she can't bring herself to do that with so much to be done still.
But this isn't something that can be done safely when your mind isn't actively in it.
The mission was still a success. But she'd made a number of careless mistakes that resulted in a number of cuts and bruises that shouldn't have happened. After, she can only do one thing-- and that is wrap her wounds. Luckily she prepared a number of first aid supplies when she left. It wasn't like she could begin to pretend that she was practiced in healing. She usually left that to others. Well... it will do for now. But it's a new sight for her-- bandages wrapped around her right arm and her left leg.]
Good as new.
[...right. If you witnessed her performance earlier though, you might wonder what's really going on. It's not hard to see something's bothering her.]
By the Docks
[The boat has already returned, so she knows there's really no point in her being here. Yet she finds herself wanting to sit by the water for a while. Looking out at the sky she tries to remember exactly what direction the city of Aefenglom was. There's no hope of seeing it, so she can only imagine what's going on there right now. Biting her lip, she kicks a little stone into the water and watches it splash.]
Towa, you can't keep being indecisive every time something important happens. You always do this... so it's no wonder you always end up with so many regrets.
[It certainly would be embarrassing if someone heard her own self-lecture.]
Shopping
[Towa promised Fie a souvenir and that at least is something she should be able to handle even in this state. It will give her some time to wander and maybe think through her-- her thoughts, fears, regrets, wishes... But with all that on her mind, she could probably actually use the help finding a suitable gift.]
I. [There are suitable weapons, an obvious choice perhaps, but one she knows Fie could put to very good use. The style is dark and sleek, and surprisingly light to carry.]
At this size, even I could wield it.
II. [She also observes the plants; both flowering and not. Fie was a member of the gardening club, after all. Maybe she would enjoy having something like this to plant back home?]
I wonder if they'd still grow comfortably back in Aefenglom...
no subject
[ He comes up to stand next to her, looking out over the water. ]
Not many people can give an honest assessment of their flaws like that.
no subject
[Towa's just always been fortunate enough to have others there to see those things and point them out for her. But she still feels bad for making them do the work for her. She takes a deep breath and looks down at the water. It's calm, unlike her own inner turmoil.]
I go over the same things time after time. You would think it gets easier, but it never does. People always seem to look to me for guidance, but I can't even figure out what my own place in the world is. I'm grateful for the trust they put in me, and I know they truly believe in me. So I try to work hard to live up to that trust. But I've never seen myself as the leader they truly deserve. How can I when I can't even figure out what I want to do? So... instead I find myself working twice as hard just to struggle to keep that position. Not moving forward just... standing in one place.
no subject
[ Probably far worse than Towa ever will. ]
But when people have that much faith in you, it's probably not just that they think you'll do the right thing. It's also that they trust you to realize when you've done the wrong thing, and do your best to fix it.
no subject
[Try as she may, that's where her hesitation lies.]
And... It's because I know that that I always find myself hesitating. I'm afraid of what my mistakes could mean for others. [...] I worry that the trust they've given me may simply be a result of all the work I've put in, and not my true skill. If I'm not really cut out to be a leader... then my inadequacies could one day really hurt the people I care about the most.