Lots of Girls Walk Around in Tears, but That's Not For You [Closed]

[hearthebell]

Who: L (Linden Tailor) and Alex, Later Mello
When: April 5
Where: Alex and Mello's cottage
What: Tutoring, and revelations
Warnings: Potentially sensitive subject matter? Will update if necessary



[L can be a strange and fickle creature, but in general, the rules of punctuality are ones he holds to, so long as he isn't trying to make a point of disrespecting a person. It's one of the simplest social rules to abide by, for someone who finds them otherwise fraught, and ultimately, L respects Alex for many reasons.

She cares enough to try to learn, though life dealt her a difficult hand and rendered her without a proper education. It had been surprising to learn, but it hadn't merited judgment, disapproval or dismissal. He'd worked her into his tutoring schedule and had diligently tried to catch her up with letters, numbers, and scientific principles that may or not matter in a world where magic reigns supreme.

He knows that things are different now that Mello is in Aefenglom. He knows that there's probably going to be tension; if Alex and Mello got along before, they can certainly manage it again, which might mean more close brushes with someone he'd rather not come in contact with.

He knocks on the door at the agreed-upon time. Subconsciously he moves the leather case he carries in front of his body.]

Comments

[sing_for_me]

[ The coffee was warm, but the room was getting so, so cold.

Alex tried to focus on writing things down, but they were a little...distracting.

Oh, but they’re back on track now. ]

[onamissile]

[Preserving the past. Mello is trying to avoid it, and L is doing this on purpose; he knows it. Maybe the lesson would have been different had he been absent, maybe not.]

[He takes a sip of his coffee: black, bitter. Fixes challenging eyes on L before turning his attention towards Alex. He sets the cup down, slouches down in his chair.]

Write this down, yea.

[He speaks to her even as he fixes his eyes hard on his ex-mentor.]

For indeed.

[An arched brow.]

Because of piety, I was called impious.
If this proceeding is Good in the Gods' eyes.

[A slight tip of his head.]

I shall know my sin; once I have suffered.

[With that, he'll be silent. Allow them to go on with their lesson.]

[hearthebell]

[Out of the woodwork, Antigone appears to antagonize. It takes everything for L not to roll his eyes so far back, they fall down his throat.]

Separate column.

[He directs Alex, before continuing and saying]

Customarily, works are evaluated and studied separately, and comparisons are approached with a thesis and crucial context.

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

[sing_for_me]

[ First of all, how fast do these two think she can write?

And was there a particular reason she was writing these? They’re addressing her but somehow she feels like she’s the one interrupting something. ]

Um...So are these two supposed to be connected somehow...?

[onamissile]

No.

[Mello takes another sip of coffee.]

Linden is your teacher; listen to him for now. Though I'll teach you anything else you need to know.

[Maths, basic knowledge. Anything she wants. And with that, he's giving L the benefit of the doubt, even if he's quietly slipping a hand along her thigh beneath the table.]

[hearthebell]

[No; no connection. It's an intrusion into my lesson plan, and quite an intentional one; he's trying to pull rank in his domain.

He glances Alex's way, addressing her, though the words are definitely meant for Mello to hear as well. There's no mistake.]

Since Malakai hasn't been here for the last few months... I think he could be forgiven for not knowing how we usually proceed, or the structure of our lessons, or what we've already covered.

[Including maths and basic knowledge, as it happens. L responds to the challenge with gentle bemusement, remarking indirectly on the absurdity of Mello feeling the need to muscle in on something so unassuming as a poetry lesson.

Now he does address Mello.]

For future reference, Malakai... Alex is a driven and eager learner. I always trust her to listen to me during our scheduled time.

[sing_for_me]

[ Alex is surprised by M’s offer, though she’s not sure if she understood correctly, because from the way he said it, it seemed like he was offering to take over her tutoring. But that surprise quickly shifts to silent shock when she feels his hand over her skirt.

Her brows pinch as she stares right at him, asking him what the hell he was doing with her eyes. With both her hands on the table, it might be weird for one to suddenly go under the table to smack him.

But then Linden speaks up, and Alex tries to steel her expression as she faces him, though her cheeks are a touch bit warmer. Oh god, and he’s complimenting her on being a good, focused student. Now she’s doubly embarrassed with a sprinkle fo guilt as she wonders how on earth she’s going to focus with all this. ]

A..ahaha..it’s...it’s fine.

[ Is it though?! ]

[onamissile]

Makes sense, [Mello smirks against his cup, and it's not Alex that he's attempting to make uncomfortable. Not in the least.] She's. [How would he put it?]

Very intuitive.

[With that, he throws her a sidelong glance. She can feel her slight annoyance like a breath of fire on his cheek.]

I'm interested in sitting in on this one lesson, if that's all right with the both of you.

[Even if he'll learn nothing from it. He still hasn't moved his hand away. Doesn't intend do.]

Should I grab a pen?

[Mock-innocence has never suited him well.]

[hearthebell]

[Aren't you already doing just that? L exhales softly, as if to draw on shallow stores of forced patience.]

I'm glad to remind you that, as I said a few minutes ago, you're welcome to stay.

[He lays a hand across the poem, written in his own hand. It's the only copy of Ozymandias in Aefenglom, unless someone else has written it out from what they learned in their world, as well.

Mock-innocence is met with criticism that is all too sincere.]

If you're truly struggling to remember things, so much, perhaps you should grab a pen.

[sing_for_me]

[ Ah! Alex was in the middle of copying one of those new words when L suddenly covered it. And...she didn’t memorize how to spell the rest. All because she got distracted mentally telling M off! ]

[onamissile]

[And his hyper-focus on L being a motherfucker falls to the wayside when he catches Alex's hesitance. He's never taught anyone a damn thing, didn't even help tutor the younger kids back home. He was always too hyper-focused on himself, too damn self-absorbed.]

Here.

[Gently. He slips the pen from her hand after removing it from her thigh, finishes out the word with quick strokes and clear writing before laying it down on the paper.]

We can go over it tonight when I get home, if you'd like.

[hearthebell]

[L watches; though much of this occurs below what he can actually see, he can guess, on some level, what's going on. If only because of how close they're sitting, the familiar way Mello speaks to her.

They probably are sleeping together, and it's been awhile since L was in a similar stable situation where sex was just part of it, expected, anticipated. It comes so naturally, to some.]

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

[He finishes the last lines, glancing up specifically at Alex.]

As with the last one we studied... there are themes in this poem. Do any seem apparent to you right away?

[sing_for_me]

[ M’s assistance gets her to relax more, her earlier annoyance dissipating as she smiles at him gratefully. ]

Thanks.

[ Linden’s question brings her attention back.

Nothing beside remains...

The way it’s worded isn’t something she’s used to, so it takes her a few reads to connect the dots. The last poem was about that man that hesitated a lot, wanted to connect to to people, runaway to the ocean...

After a moment of thoughtful silence, her ears perk ep as she looks back at Linden. ]

Oh! Is this like when we talked about what we wanted people to remember us by?

[onamissile]

[In a way, yes. And Mello's grin denotes pride for Alex's deduction, though of course he reads deeper into it, would have worded it differently. But. A part of him feels a spark of jealousy; how long have these lessons been going on? Mello can easily teach her this shit, though he's never been much for poetry. It was something to get through in order to move on to the next thing.]

[Always moving on to the next thing.]

[He glances down at his cup: it's almost empty. He needs another. Without comment, he tosses back the rest, returns to the kitchen to refill. He'll let them sort this out for a moment.]

[hearthebell]

[L stiffens slightly, because the callback is to a different lesson. In places, that lesson was a bit intimate and personal. It's not something he wants to share with Mello at this time. He can't imagine a time he would want to share it.

They can wade into the shallow end, though. Possibly without incident, though for all his coldness, L doesn't believe for a moment that Mello isn't sharp enough to pick up on such matters. In some ways, Mello exceeds even him, in the same field.]

Something like that. It's legacy... what outlasts a person after they've passed. In the case of this poem, that goes several layers deep. The statue is mostly eroded, and so are the works Ozymandias actually expected to outlive him. The man himself is long dead, and the desert is a force of nature that will outlast even the last remnants of the stone statue.

[sing_for_me]

[ For a moment, Alex thinks she said something wrong, catching how his body had stiffened. It dawns on her eventually that it’s not just them this time, and with the current situation and how sensitive their last discussion was, that maybe Linden didn’t want to touch on this exact thing right now.

She tugs lightly at his sleeve, concern and an apology in her expression as she looks up at him. ]

Then, um..was there another part I missed?

[ Maybe they could just steer it elsewhere. ]

[onamissile]

No, [Mello answers immediately as he returns to his seat with a freshly-filled cup.] You got the gist of it; Linden is just explaining the more nuanced version of your analysis.

[L is a good teacher; Mello will acknowledge that much. But the goal isn't to intimidate the student. They're not at Wammy's, and this level of depth isn't necessary.]

It's about remembering the past while also preserving it, making it the present. The symbolism revolves around not allowing things to erode and disappear, therefore keeping it as alive as if they were still happening.

[He shoots a sharp glance at L.]

Don't erase the things that once existed as current. Don't let them fade into obscurity to the point where they become echoes and eventually disappear.

[He glances at Alex's notes. Good enough.]

Poetry just throws a lot of words around simple lessons. Especially in this case. It's not that complicated.

[hearthebell]

[L falls silent as Mello speaks, engaging like any precocious student would in a classroom environment that encouraged engagement and discussion.]

While the living Ozymandias would surely agree with you... and perhaps to an extent, Shelley... the romantic poets all had a certain reverence for the power of nature. Humans- the king, the sculptor, the poet- all assign relevance and sentimentality to symbolism. Things, that look like other things, rocks that look like faces and legs, words that tell a story on a page, but... the "antique land," the stone, the sand are all in balance with the erosion and decay that govern them and use them as instruments. They're inevitable, no matter what a human might believe, or say.

[sing_for_me]

[ She lets go of Linden’s sleeve, trying to take in and make sense of both if their explanations. ]

So...is it trying to preserve the past, but also saying that it’ll eventually disappear anyway...?

[onamissile]

Mm.

[And despite his bitterness, Mello is absolutely reveling in L's correction. It's something he's always wanted — needed — as a child, a teenager, an adult. Instruction from someone he held in such high regard, and even a minor disagreement like this one makes his stomach tighten.]

Poetry is always open to interpretation, [he assures Alex, and the way he looks at L doesn't hold the same contempt that it has before now. Mello has finally gotten something he's wanted, as trivial as this stupid fucking poem is.]

So what would you deem us in this situation?

[Fuck it. Whether or not he's going to raise questions from both of them in the future.]

The living Ozymandias or the 'things'?

[Mello flicks the tip of his tongue over the corner of his lip.] Hard to tell when you're technically dead, yea.

[hearthebell]

[L is aware, deep down, that he's doing exactly the wrong thing by living up to even a glimmer of the man Mello thought he was once, or believed he could be. He's doing the wrong thing by engaging, and he's doing the wrong thing by letting this demand more attention than he can control.

He glances down at his sleeve when Alex releases it; he hadn't even realized she'd reached for him, he was so intent on the challenger in this room, vying for two people's attention in very different ways.

Did she notice? Should he apologize? Would it be weak to-- no.

He's making further mistakes by worrying about whether or not he looks weak in front of Mello.]

We're humans, or... near enough.

[To account for Alex, who is a merrow but at least born human.]

By discussing these words in the first place, we reveal our susceptibility to symbols, and our preoccupation with meaning. We're like the king, or the sculptor, or the poet. Our bodies and living memories are like the stone, doomed to crumble eventually... the sand is like time, the agent of erosion in an indifferent natural world.

[sing_for_me]

[ It was rather depressing when he put it that way, but it also shifted her focus from leaving something behind to a something else. ]

Then...doesn’t that also mean that it’s inevitable for us to change?

[ Maybe she’s not looking at it the right way, or maybe M’s explanation of interpretation allowed her to think more in her own way. But this was a more comforting way for her to think about it. ]

Maybe not just out bodies or memories..? Or is that is that...missing the point of the poem?

[onamissile]

[Mello has a jealous streak — always had, with his pride — and the sleeve sets him on a path that he knows he shouldn't follow. He can out-do L. He and Near did, after all, so why can't he do so on his own? He takes control of his features, makes an imminent attempt at casualty.]

Like I said, poetry is open to interpretation.

[He ignores L for now, taking another sip. He's not the one to learn here, is he? Especially with this basic material. L has to know that Mello knows.]

Change is always an option.

[His hand returns to her thigh. Maybe for comfort. Maybe to prove a point to L.]

But that's not what this is about.

[In his opinion, anyway.]

[hearthebell]

[L listens to the two learners, silent, dark eyes attentive in his pale face.]

Change is always the inevitable option, ergo... the only option.

[And that is exactly what this is about.]

There's only one way to stop changing, and even then, you've only really changed your hold on agency in the matter.

[Others still can put words in your mouth, create motives where none otherwise existed.]

[sing_for_me]

[ Again, their answers differ, and Alex isn’t quite sure what to say.

She does tense when she feels M’s hand on her leg again, but, the intention seems more innocent this time around, so she doesn’t make too much of a face and does relax somewhat. Especially with the the current tension seemingly building up again.

Maybe food would help.

The plate was just sitting sadly in the middle of the table, and she brings it a little closer so she can prepare a small plate for each of them.

Fluffy caramel with chocolate chips. Diabetes in a plate, but Linden liked them that way. Although she’s not sure M would enjoy something so sweet. ]

Do you want to try some, M?