Lots of Girls Walk Around in Tears, but That's Not For You [Closed]

[hearthebell]

Who: L (Linden Tailor) and Alex, Later Mello
When: April 5
Where: Alex and Mello's cottage
What: Tutoring, and revelations
Warnings: Potentially sensitive subject matter? Will update if necessary



[L can be a strange and fickle creature, but in general, the rules of punctuality are ones he holds to, so long as he isn't trying to make a point of disrespecting a person. It's one of the simplest social rules to abide by, for someone who finds them otherwise fraught, and ultimately, L respects Alex for many reasons.

She cares enough to try to learn, though life dealt her a difficult hand and rendered her without a proper education. It had been surprising to learn, but it hadn't merited judgment, disapproval or dismissal. He'd worked her into his tutoring schedule and had diligently tried to catch her up with letters, numbers, and scientific principles that may or not matter in a world where magic reigns supreme.

He knows that things are different now that Mello is in Aefenglom. He knows that there's probably going to be tension; if Alex and Mello got along before, they can certainly manage it again, which might mean more close brushes with someone he'd rather not come in contact with.

He knocks on the door at the agreed-upon time. Subconsciously he moves the leather case he carries in front of his body.]

Comments

[sing_for_me]

But you are right now....And if you’re going to insist on putting it that way, you really aren’t going to be able to offer anything if you aren’t around.

[hearthebell]

No, I...

[He shakes his shaggy head vigorously.]

I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I'd never do that to my Bonded, or... anyone else I know, who cares. That would be selfish. Please don't worry.

[sing_for_me]

[ She watches him a moment longer before straightening up again. It’s not like it was something he had to promise her, she doubts she holds much weight there, but it was somewhat reassuring to hear him say it.

But just in case, she looks him dead in the eyes again. ]

...You really won’t right?

[hearthebell]

[Color flushes high on his cheekbones. A hand goes to his brow, makeshift shelter.]

No. I really won't. I'm bound to too many people and too many promises to even consider it. It lives in the back of my mind... but that's the extent of its potential. I mean it when I say it's not worth wasting emotions on.

[sing_for_me]

[ That was more reassuring, earning him a few extra pats on the head and a more pleased smile. ]

Good.

[ There really was a lot she didn’t know about Linden, and a lot she probably didn’t understand. He wasn’t exactly an open book either, picking and choosing what to give her a look at. So surely he had his reasons for having those thoughts in the first place, and they probably wouldn’t magically go away anytime soon. She’ll just have to take his word for it for now. ]

Oh, I almost forgot...there’s was a word you used earlier...son..sonder? What does that mean?

[ She asks this while making him a plate. Alex made it a point that he had to eat something while he was there. ]

[hearthebell]

Oh...

[The subject change is a relief from the prickling, uncomfortable heat the conversation has been steadily turning up. His hand slides down to cup his cheek, his elbow resting on the tabletop.]

Sonder is the feeling you get when you look at those around you, and comprehend that they all lead lives as complex and nuanced as your own, with their own thoughts and ideas and opinions. I think that being Bonded to someone is the closest I've ever felt to fully experiencing it... sometimes I wonder if it's possible at all.

[He exhales lightly.]

It's possible that conversations like this are a form of it, too. I like to understand others more fully when I'm not just trying to catch them in a lie.

[sing_for_me]

[ The plate clinks against the table as she places it in front of in, listening to his explanation. It came across as rather odd that he might need a bond to come to that conclusion. ]

I should take that as a good thing, right?

[ That he’s not just trying to test if she’s lying or not. ]

I like our talks too.

[ She’ll be just a little cheeky right now. ]

[hearthebell]

[He nods his agreement, dark eyes finding their way back across the table to her face.]

I like your kindness... and your honesty.

[It's actually among the highest praise L gives, to consider someone honest and mean it.]

[sing_for_me]

[ She pauses as she gets her own food, not expecting him to go in that direction. ]

Huh? Oh...um...

[ Now it’s her turn to avoid eye contact for a moment, before returning her gaze to him, her smile just a little shy. ]

Thanks, I like yours too.

[hearthebell]

I... don't get that a lot, but thank you.

[He reaches for some of the cheese. It might be a good time to just find something to plug his mouth with for a bit.]

[sing_for_me]

Should I say it more often then?

[ She nudges the plate closer to him. ]

[hearthebell]

And spoil me? You probably shouldn't...

[He goes for a cracker, scooping a bit of brie with it.]

Before you came here, you were in entertainment, weren't you? Or service?

[He guesses that she'd have to be, to be this attentive and cognizant to others' needs.]

[sing_for_me]

[ The question was so sudden that her body tenses rather obviously. Her hand draws back, nibbling at the edge of her cracker. ]

Um...well, yes.

[ He wasn’t wrong. ]

Was it that obvious...?

[hearthebell]

Just a hunch. The way you anticipate needs made me think it might be the case... it seems natural, habitual.

[sing_for_me]

Ahaha, I see.

[ Though, she’s not sure how much about that he wanted to know. Another beat and she picks a piece of cheese and fruit. ]

What did you used to do?

[hearthebell]

More about me? Aren't we both thoroughly depressed?

[A joke, but he does answer, briefly.]

I worked alone in a room with a computer. I solved problems; I didn't get out much.

[To the point where no one knew his name, or what he looked like. Even Mello only met him the one time.]

So, which was it? Server, or entertainer?

[sing_for_me]

[ Hold on, she’s still trying to guess.

A depressing isolated job that kept you locked in a room with just a computer to solve problems...]

So like...an accountant?

[hearthebell]

[He laughs, sudden and startled.]

No. I made a lot more money, for one, and... spent it on more work.

[Or things related to the legacy, like the orphanage.]

Someone else managed it for me... I don't enjoy thinking about finances. I'd not make a good accountant. Entertainer, or server?

[He hasn't forgotten.]

[sing_for_me]

[ The laugh almost has him getting away with not answering her question.

Almost. ]

...Entertainer.

[ He seemed so timid the first few times they met, but after a while she’s noticed that Linden could actually be very persistent. ]

Was it business related?

[ But so could she. ]

[hearthebell]

Sometimes, it was business-related. What about you?

[He can be coy, too. He's kind of amazing at it, actually.]

[sing_for_me]

Same.

[ It was a business...technically.]

Did you sell things?

[hearthebell]

In the sense that it was a skill or a service, yes. Not a product. And you?

[sing_for_me]

[ Her arms cross over her chest as her cheeks puff out slightly. He was really going to drag this out wasn’t he? ]

...Service.

[ Alex couldn’t really say if it was a skill or not, even if she was ‘trained’ for it.

Okay, what if she was just direct about it? ]

What kind of skill or service?

[hearthebell]

[He's really going to.]

What I do here. I'm a detective, here. I was a detective, back home, but... it was different. I was actually famous, but... no one knew my name.

[Such a strange paradox.]

You didn't just refill drinks, I'm sure.

[sing_for_me]

[ Alex pauses, having expected him to find some other vague way to answer—- but he actually tells her. She blinks at him owlishly, taking in the information. ]

A...detective?

[ It was unexpected, and yet it made....so much sense. Maybe it’s because she’s known him for some time now that she isn’t too thrown off, but there’s a slight level of uncertainty that creeps up on her. Especially when she realizes her slip up.

All this while she was dancing around the two jobs she had, and she could’ve said both to the last question as singing was a skill. But she ended up focusing too much on the other.

However, with Linden being up front with her...it wouldn’t be fair to not be honest either. Which was why the fact that he was in law enforcement had her shifting in her seat awkwardly. ]

I...I was a singer for a little bit, and I helped out as a secretary for a pair of jack-of-all-trades handymen for about a month or so.

[ Both true. But it wasn’t the reason why she’d learned to be so attentive. Her eyes fall to her lap now, her fingers fidgeting with one another. ]

Before that....I was a prostitute.

[ She waits a beat before glancing up at Linden, her head still tilted downwards. ]