middaeg | (catch-all)(closed) the days don't stop coming

( the sight that greets crowley isn't a reassuring one. if anything, it was more along the lines of an outright nightmare, one that was far more imaginative than either of them could dream up. aziraphale has started to curl in on himself, knees starting to pull up to his chest, as he keeps his hands pressed flat against the new pair of ears that had decided to make an appearance tonight.

they are soft and fuzzy underneath his palms.

his gaze snaps upwards when he eventually acknowledges crowley's presence, his eyes glinting unnaturally in the low light. )

Crowley—

( he tries, voice sounding unnaturally harsh. it barely sounds like it belongs to him at all.

he screws his eyes shut. )

Please.

( leave.

stay with him.

leave.

stay with him.

he doesn't know what he wants, but he surely wants crowley to do something for him. )

[ Something is clearly happening, and Crowley has absolutely no idea how to handle it.

No idea at all!

Aziraphale's eyes glint in the darkness like something out of a horror film, and he's clearly in distress. Is he about to just burst into a furry mess of werewolf and eat him? Werewolves sometimes writhe about and scream as they change, don't they? Should have gone for the chained up in the basement routine, clearly. Crowley is about to discorporate, and who knows when he'll find a body again in this place. ]

I'm here.

[ It sounds weak, nervous, because he doesn't know what he's meant to do. He doesn't know what Aziraphale wants him to do. Slowly, Crowley paces closer -- hands out in front of himself like he's sneaking up on a wild animal. Maybe he is. ]

It's alright, angel.

[ Is it? No idea, but it sounds a good thing to say doesn't it? Gentle, reassuring, soothing. The sort of thing you might say to a frightened dog you don't want to turn on you. ]

( soothing is probably the very, bitter last way that aziraphale would think to describe absolutely anything about the situation including the way that crowley is talking to him now. he knows that he is trying his best in an unfamiliar and terrifying situation, but it doesn't help for him to say that it was alright. nor does his tone. things could not feasibly be less alright right now.

everything was wrong, everything was terrible, and the worst part is the way that crowley keeps inching forward. hands raised, movements slow, and aziraphale feels just a bit like a wild animal that has been caged up in this room.

maybe he is. but he won't accept it. )

I do not— This is not—

( he tries, but the words stumble on his tongue. he wants to shout, wants to say the numerous things that are on his mind and that he feels he should definitely make crowley aware of. this is not alright. this is not going to be alright. he was not going to hurt him.

for as bad and upsetting as this night was, he wasn't going to allow himself to do anything that might cause harm to crowley. he wouldn't. he couldn't. it was unthinkable. he would not allow himself to become some. . . unsafe thing! transformation into a beastfolk or not.

aziraphale lets out a weak noise. )

It is getting worse.

Yeah, can see that.

[ He moves up beside Aziraphale, still slow, then carefully lays a hand on his upper arm. His eyes rapidly flit over the angel, trying to discern information quickly, when his eyes are drawn to the way his hands are clutched at his head. ]

Hurts?

[ An easy confirmation, yes or no. Crowley hesitates a long moment, then begins to clamber up onto the bed beside Aziraphale -- he's clearly in distress so decorum is straight out the window. Doesn't matter what happens later, what's important is right now. What's important is getting him through this. ]

( his entire body stiffens underneath crowley's touch, limbs seizing in a very desperate attempt to keep himself from further reacting. he doesn't know if he wants to swat crowley away or reach for his hand and squeeze, but either action would reveal the pair of ears hidden away underneath his palms.

he isn't sure he is ready to show him such a thing. actually, he's not even sure he wants to see it for himself. it was surely hideous or at the very least, completely ridiculous.

he takes a moment to breathe before answering. )

Yes.

( the ears hurt, his spine hurts, and there's an ache that spreads through the rest of him. )

And—

( it isn't just the pain. he thinks he should tell crowley this much. or maybe he just wants to tell crowley this much. )

It's, uhm, how do I say. . .? Something has grown.

( so, don't look. )

[ Crowley kneels up on the bed, studying Aziraphale with a frown of concern, and reaches for both his hands. The body-language is awkward. He's hiding something under them, presumably. Maybe because it hurts? Instinct to protect things that hurt. Maybe because he's embarrassed? Unless it's going to vanish in the next few minutes that doesn't matter, he'll find out eventually. ]

Show me.

[ He's not going to take no for an answer. ]

Don't fucking protest, Aziraphale, because I can't help if you don't show me so just show me.

[ He'll pin his hands if he struggles, this is no-nonsense time. Their corporeal forms are fragile enough on a normal day, and now they have no miracles to fix their problems with. They need to be more careful. If there's a chance something needs medical intervention Crowley wants to see, even if his overall medical knowledge is ropy -- especially when it comes to treating people turning under a full moon. ]

( there is, in fact, a sizeable protest brewing within aziraphale that is just begging to be heard. the only reason why he doesn't actually speak it or even try to push crowley's invasive hands off of him is that now crowley is here, he doesn't want to get rid of him. he doesn't want to go through this alone, doesn't want to be left alone in this dark room to suffer without any way to fix it.

he couldn't miracle it better. he doesn't have anything in the house either that might help make it easier to withstand. he spent so much time thinking that he wouldn't have to go through this that he failed to prepare for it.

now it was happening and he was worse off for it. )

Crowley.

( he says, trying his very best to sound stern. for as much as he would rather him here, he also didn't want to be spoken to so rudely like this. it was uncalled for!

although, he gets the feeling from the way he talks that crowley might choose to fight him if he doesn't comply with the not-quite-request to show him what is hidden underneath his palms. it kicks up a weird feeling in him, one that almost wants to encourage the potential tussle.

he doesn't know what to do with that, so he pretends it isn't there. )

It's not pleasant.

( it's the only warning that he offers before pulling his hands away. without his arms blocking the view, it can be clearly seen that the spot where aziraphale's normal human-passing ears had once been is now empty. there is a new pair of pointed, feline-like ears resting on the top of his head. the fur is still damp with a smattering of blood from where they'd emerged. )

[ It isn't pleasant at all.

Crowley hesitates a long moment, one quavering hand hovering in the air as his eyes flick rapidly between the ears, Aziraphale's bloodied hands and his face. He doesn't like this. Doesn't like it at all. Doesn't. Doesn't. Doesn't like the sight of blood on Aziraphale this way when he doesn't know what will happen if he loses this body. ]

Looks sore. I can -- get you a cloth, clean you up a little. Some painkillers. Maybe a cup of tea, yeah?

[ Like this is a normal thing they both just need to calm down from, like Crowley isn't still breathing a little too heavily. ]

( aziraphale lets out a breath that he hadn't realised he had been holding, hissed out through his teeth. fangs. nasty, detestable things that they are. he had been truly afraid for a moment that crowley might get it in his head to reach out and touch him. the ears, that is.

there was something terrifying about that. something that made it real.

said ears flick when crowley speaks, not at all enthused by what he was suggesting. all of those things meant that he would leave, albeit temporarily, but the idea of it made aziraphale feel anxious and sick in a way that he's never known before. )

No, I—

( don't want to be alone.

in a little bit, perhaps, but not right now. he just wants crowley to stay right where he is and keep him company. it wasn't exciting and he's sure that crowley is also scared in his own right, but this is the only thing he wants for the moment.

he reaches out to seek crowley's hand. )

If you don't mind, could you. . . sit with me?

[ Crowley takes it easily, squeezes the hard with firm reassurance. ]

Yeah, 'course angel. Whatever you need, I'm right here.

[ He shuffles closer, to sit against the headboard beside Aziraphale -- right up beside him, fingers still laced tightly with his. ]

Anything you need, I'm right here. Don't you worry about a thing, yeah? Don't you worry.

[ Crowley is quite sure he can do enough worrying for both of them. ]

( it's not by much, but the weight of crowley's hand in his immediately makes aziraphale feel better. the reassurance that crowley is here, right here in a tangible way, that makes his stomach feel like it might start to eventually unknot. it doesn't ease the pain or the way the pain is beginning to sharpen along the length of his spine, but he would much rather weather this together with him than alone.

he lets out a harsh breath. )

How could I possibly not worry?

( slowly, he pulls their joined hands closer to rest them against his own cheek, hoping to use it to ground himself. )

It feels like this body barely belongs to me. And what. . . what, ugh, will the next full moon bring?

Whatever happens, I'll be here.

[ No matter what the full moon brings. He watches his hand being guided up to rest against Aziraphale's cheek, examines the contact for a long few seconds. The meaning of it, if any particular meaning can be discerned. ]

We'll get through it, yeah? Together. C'mon, angel, c'mere --

[ He slides forth his other hand, tries to draw Aziraphale forward so he can slip an arm around his waist -- hold him closer in the hope of offering some scant comfort. ]

( in the back of his mind, aziraphale knows that he shouldn't accept this so readily. he shouldn't cross the line and allow for crowley to embrace him. it's a step being taken far too quickly and it's simply just too outright, but—

he doesn't have it in him to turn away from it. the urge to be closer to him, close enough to smell, thrums underneath his skin and he lets crowley guide him forward until he's leaning against him outright. )

I am not sure if you should. Neither of us knows what will happen.

( he says as he tucks his face against the curve of crowley's neck and shoulder, speaking directly against the fabric of his clothes. )

Yeah, well, what else am I gonna do angel? Can't exactly leave you.

[ It's simply not an option. He tightens his arm around Aziraphale, tucks him comfortably so he can rest one cheek against his pale curls and holds him into his neck. He feels warm. Crowley tries not to think about the smell of blood, about the race of Aziraphale's heart. He can't think about that right now, he just needs --

Just needs both of them to be safe. ]

We're a team, yeah? Always you and me, balancing things out.

( no, he could never imagine so. however grim and terrifying things might get as aziraphale's transformation into one of the beastfolk steadily continues, aziraphale didn't expect for crowley to abandon him. he expects for him to be there in one way or another. that's always how it has been. crowley always seemed to appear in the right time and place to aid him even if it were to his own detriment.

it had never stopped him. it likely wouldn't stop him now either.

which aziraphale knows to be a problem since this isn't quite like all the times before. if something happened to crowley because of him, because of this, then there wasn't any way that he could fix it. they had to be careful—crowley more so than himself, mind you—but they couldn't continue to simply roll the dice and hope for the best. )

What is it that they usually do? To the werewolves in fiction?

( he tries to sound neutral as he poses the question, but the hitch in his breath is obvious while his face is pressed against crowley's neck. he's tucked well enough into him to hear the erratic beat of his pulse.

he shifts then, moving to slowly work his arm around crowley's shoulder to return the embrace. )

Lock them in the cellar, isn't it? At least until it passes?

Somethin' like that.

[ Crowley eases into a more comfortable position, lets out a soft sigh as Aziraphale's arm comes around him in turn. His hand sweeps up and down the angel's back in slow, steadying strokes. ]

You don't worry about that, though. Let me worry about it for you, yeah? Cellar will be the last resort. Bound to be plenty of other things we can look into first. That wolf fellow we met when we arrived seemed pretty together. Maybe he knows something.

( that's right. there had been a bonded pair in the looking glass house who had been giving everyone an overview during that first day here. unfortunately, aziraphale hadn't exactly been in the right state of mind to give the proper attention to their explanations. he had picked up a decent amount from it, of course, but much of it felt like noise against the growing panic in his chest.

much like the panic he feels now. but, the hand against his back does help. quite a lot.

he lets out a soft sigh against crowley's neck. )

Mr. Ainsley? I suppose he wouldn't—

( —be against sharing his expertise.

that's what he had intended to say, but all he manages is a choked noise as pain rockets down his spine. all at once, he feels like he's being pulled apart and he immediately reaches for the only thing within reach: crowley.

his claw-like nails bite into him harshly, digging into the skin underneath crowley's clothes as he clutches at him like crowley is the only thing that could possibly keep him steady. his body is shifting again, tailbone elongating into a proper tail and aziraphale thinks he might scream.

he can't. he shouldn't. crowley is too close.

so he bites, sinking his sharp teeth into crowley's flesh. )

[ Oh.

Aziraphale tightens his grip on him, nails digging into skin, and Crowley clutches Aziraphale closer in response -- tries to sooth him with the closeness of their bodies. ]

Angel --

[ Is all he manages before something else happens.

Before Aziraphale... bites him.

According to most werewolf lore Crowley knows, that's how it happens. He suppose if that's true then... well, at least they'll be werewolves together? Might be nice. Could run around the moors terrorising people, or doing whatever it is werewolves do between acts of terror. The problem is the biting part does actually hurt. His hands flex in their grip, breath hitching sharply as he tries to ignore it. Aziraphale is probably hurting more, and although Crowley as a rule is very against anything that registers on the pain scale or puts him in danger -- well. Aziraphale has always been an exception for things.

He would, however, rather not have his throat ripped out if possible. So probably need to get the biting under control. ]

Angel? Please...

[ Voice a little... more strained than usual, although now that the initial sharp pain is over with Crowley thinks he can live with this. It's not so bad. ]

( there is something deeply satisfying about having bitten crowley. aziraphale couldn't think to describe it even if he were more sound of mind, but it makes something within him sing. like a call answered or an inch scratched and he barely recognises that crowley is speaking to him at all.

it takes a long moment, a moment spent with his grip still impossibly tight around crowley and his teeth still embedded in him, before understanding starts to seep back into his head. understanding of where he is, what he's doing, and the sound of crowley's voice as he asks him to—

let go.

oh.

aziraphale flinches, ears flattening against his head. he has to fight against the urge to jerk back, afraid of what damage he might accidentally cause if he were to move too quickly. instead, he takes care to slowly extract himself from crowley's neck. )

C-Crowley! I'm so sorry-!

( his words come out in a panicked rush, syllables nearly blending together. he doesn't know how to apologise enough, how to even begin making amends for what he's done. oh, and he's done something so terrible. what was he even supposed to do now? how could he explain it? he doesn't know, but the sudden slam of guilt thoroughly yanks his focus away from the pain along his back and the way his new tail flicks against the edge of the mattress anxiously.

to make matters worse, he can see blood beginning to bead along the freshly created wound. he has to at least do something about the damage he'd caused. anything. )

Let me—

( that's all he says before dunking his head downward again, but this time not to bite. no, he drags his tongue over the bite mark he had created in a desperate and mindless attempt to at least stop the bleeding. )

[ Oh.

He doesn't --

Crowley feels slightly dazed by the rapidly unfolding sequence of events, by the rush of adrenaline from the pain and the sensation of --

Of everything happening. Which is quite a lot. ]

Nnngh. 'M fine.

[ Isn't he? He's probably fine. How hard did Aziraphale bite him, anyway? His hands run restlessly up and down the angel's back, trying to soothe his fretting even as Crowley tries to process that he's been bitten by someone with furry ears. This isn't really... something in his wheelhouse, so to speak. Not a thing he knows how to react to.

The licking feels a bit much. ]

( if aziraphale didn't know any better, he might think that his heart was trying its damnest to pound its way straight out from underneath his ribs. everything feels as if it were happening both a little too fast and a little too slow and he can hardly breathe. the only thing that keeps him any kind of focused is the frantic need to try to fix what he had just done.

his grip gradually begins to loosen, unhooking his claws from crowley's person before he accidentally creates another injury. or had he already? he couldn't tell and he was honestly terrified to find out.

he pulls away from crowley once more with a frown, moving to press the sleeve of his nightshirt against the wound. it was already ruined anyway, it hardly mattered if he made it worse with crowley's blood as well. )

Are you? I hadn't meant to—

( bite.

except he had. somewhat. it's hard to pin down. he had also bitten him pretty hard to top it off.

he really should get crowley out of the room. anywhere but where he is. )

It. . . Might be best if you were to leave.

[ Leave?

Crowley, breathing a little heavily from... well, the adrenaline and pain and actual blood now, lifts a hand to vaguely hold Aziraphale's against his neck. ]

Dunno where you think I'm gonna go, angel. Besides, someone probably needs to help me clean up this bite and you're the nearest person. How you feeling? Still hurt?

[ Crowley is, obviously, also hurt but if they need a minute to work out who is hurting less that's... fine. That's fine. How heavily is it bleeding, he wonders? He can't really tell how deep the bite was. Is he in shock? He has no idea. What does shock feel like? He's never really felt the physical aspect of it before, but he can smell the blood -- Aziraphale's, his. Distantly Crowley is starting to wonder how long it would take for him to change, if he's going to. To wonder what he'd do if Aziraphale just lost control and ripped apart his corporeal form. No frolicking through the moors as a pair of werewolves after that, can't come back when you're in pieces.

Maybe that's why Aziraphale is telling him to leave. Maybe he's already feeling that urge.

Crowley leans into Aziraphale again, trying to steady himself. Maybe that would be fine. If anyone was going to kill him, after all, he'd rather it was Aziraphale.

Probably Aziraphale wouldn't want to, though. That might be a problem. He'd be upset afterwards. ]

( aziraphale can feel it.

the ragged way crowley breathes, the race of his pulse, the pounding of his heart, and the unsteadiness of his hands. it feels nightmarishly human, delicate and vulnerable in ways that just feel wrong to him and—

he had caused it. he had caused it and crowley had the audacity to ask him how he was doing. he feels bewildered and overwhelmed and he thinks he might forget how he's supposed to breathe. how could it matter how he felt? he did feel better, which was an uncomfortable realisation, but that should hardly be the concern. crowley shouldn't be asking, neither should he still be trying to hold him close. )

Out! The other room! A-anywhere!

( somewhere he didn't run the risk of being bitten again. aziraphale couldn't say that he wouldn't bite again. he hadn't even thought he would do it the first time, so how could he predict the second? or more?

his hand falls away to rest against crowley's collarbone, letting aziraphale press his face against him unhindered. )

Anywhere but here.

( said quietly, misery clear in his tone.

he just needed some time to collect himself so he could tend to crowley's wound. he had been right when he said he needed someone to care for it and there wasn't anyone other than aziraphale here. unless he were to call someone?

but he feels an immediate revulsion to the idea. he doesn't want anyone else here. what was wrong with him? he couldn't keep thinking that way.

he lets out a frustrated sigh, muffled against crowley's neck. )

I'm sorry.

I don't wanna be anywhere but here.

[ Just putting that out there.

The bite is still a problem, though. Crowley eases his hand away from his neck now that Aziraphale's has dropped, looks at it to gauge how red it's turning. ]

Hey -- how about we find something to clean this up, and maybe I can clean those for you too. Yeah?

[ He makes a vague gesture to Aziraphale's head. The ears. Not that Aziraphale can see, when he's trying to bury his face against him and pretend this all isn't happening. Not a bad idea, honestly, can't blame him for that. He loosely drapes his arm around the angel, then Crowley catches sight of a slight motion and flick down to the mattress.

Ah. There's... that too. A tail. He's -- faintly sure they make cartoons about things like this. Erotic cartoons. Not quite so erotic now, is it? His eyes rip themselves back up to some vague, indistinct point and he tries to focus. Right. Cleaning things up. ]

Maybe something for the pain if you still need it, yeah?

[ There, a normal suggestion. Suitable for normal injuries. Nothing unusual or stressful, just need to clean up and take some painkillers. ]

Crowley.

( said with irritation in his voice.

there was something to be said about crowley's unending willingness to foolishly throw himself right into dangerous situations. not that aziraphale was particularly fond of acknowledging himself as one of those said dangerous situations, but there was no avoiding it, was there? he was a dangerous element and inescapable one at that. there was not much escape when the two of them lived together.

really, he needed to find a different place to spend the evenings during the full moon. there had to be a hotel or a hostel that could he relocate himself to for just the night. not that it mattered right now. he was here tonight for the duration and the most important thing that needed to happen in this moment was to tend to the injury he had left on crowley. it wasn't going to get any better just because he had apologised. )

In the bathroom. We have some supplies.

( slowly, he starts to pull himself off of crowley to sit up on the bed. or at least as well as he can. he had felt better near immediately after sinking his teeth into crowley, but he still felt a little light-headed and off-centre.

he offers a cautious hand to crowley in case he felt the same way. )

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