[open] Trying to find inner peace

[zewu_jun]

Who: Lan Xichen and OPEN to anyone
When: April
Where: In the dream and around Aef
What: Memory sharing, training, and meeting people (and thugs)
Warnings: some blood and slight self-harm in the last prompt


I. Training in the waking world

[Lan Xichen has found a quit spot outside of the Bright Wall. It's less secure, but sometimes you need a place with a little danger, especially if you are practicing the spells he wants to practice. He doesn't see anyone around and at the moment there are no Shades or animals hunting, so he draws his sword and focuses his magic around it. After a few minutes, he does get it to glow. Raising the blade, Xichen slices across the air in front of him, sending the shine flying out away from the edge in an arc that actually cuts a tree a few feet away. The glow dies immediately, but he looks satisfied.]

It can be done after all. Once you learn to fish, it just takes finding the right pool.

II. Around the city

[It might be in the library or the apothecary. It might even be the streets where Xichen is shopping at the time. But he keeps asking wherever he is about information.]

Excuse me, I need help. I wish to ask for advice on how monsters handle their health. I know there are many different variables... What should I do to help ease transformations?

[He's collecting pamphlets and books, various home remedies and recipes that both other witches and monsters around town offer him. Some are a little more unreliable than others, though, and sooner or later the man is going to get swindled. Some even offer to show him personally, just down this side street here. Since he's pretty and offering to buy so much, he must have money, right?]

III. Dream World Memories
[Lan Xichen's mirror is decorated simply, with cloud motifs carved in the sides and a few intricate flowers and petals seeming to rain down one side. The rest is marked by tiny characters carved in straight, orderly lines. Some might recognize these as words, rules, in fact, written into the frame of the mirror in perfect columns. Lan Xichen stands outside it, taking in the whole piece with a slight frown. Then he reaches out to the glass, making it ripple. Sighing, he steps through.]

Memory A; something pleasant
[The air in the memory is crisp and fresh. Surrounded by trees and fog, a small gathering of buildings lies hidden on a remote mountainside. The place is decorated with idyllic waterside pavilions and gardens, making it seem like a picturesque fantasy surrounded by a white wall. At the entrance, two groups of men are talking, apparently each on their way through the door going in opposite directions. One group is led by Lan Wangji, looking stern and cool as usual, and the other is Lan Xichen. Off to one side behind Lan Wangji, an unhappy looking man in darker robes is clinging to a donkey like it might save him from some horrible fate.

"Wangji never brings guests home. Who is this?"

The darker clad man steps forward like he's about to speak, but suddenly his mouth closes tightly, Lan Wangji's glare apparently being the source of the spell. The younger Lan instead poses his own question, changing topics abruptly so the "guest" can't share his name or protest. The two brothers converse a little, and as they finish, visitor manages to open his mouth again. Lan Xichen smiles as he and his group get ready to move on.

"It's not often that you being someone home like this in such good spirits. You should treat your guest with more courtesy than this."

As Lan Xichen and his party leave the grounds, behind them, they can hear Lan Wangji's voice distinctly say drag him inside. Xichen laughs quietly, shaking his head as he continues his walk and everyone fades away into the mists.

Memory B; on the run (a bit of blood within)

[In a random town with streets lined with full carts and market traffic, a young man hurries through parting crowds. The white robes, even dirty and smudged with ash, still stand out enough to be recognizable, causing people to avert their eyes as well as draw away from him as he pushes himself to keep going, clutching a bundle of salvaged books in his arms.

"Who is that? He looks like he's in bad shape."

"Shh, don't bother with him. That's one of the Lan disciples."

"I heard that the Lan clan dared to insult the Wens. Guess that's what you get when you pick fights with someone bigger than you."

"Isn't it just because they control neighboring territories? The Wen clan was looking for a good excuse to move in."

"Who cares? That's cultivator business. Just ignore him before someone actually comes looking and spots him here. Then they'll burn down our home too."

The boy goes right past the group of gossips, not looking up as he passes, but coming too close to one of them, the man shoves him aside and his strength gives out, blood joining the stains on his robes as he falls to his knees.

"Get the hell out of here! We don't want troublemakers in our city."

Dragging himself back to his feet, the young Lan Xichen keeps moving before he incites more anger. As he stumbles to the edge of the memory's space, a soft voice comes through: Are you all right? Then the figures all disappear before restarting again.]

Memory C; breaking up isn't easy (blood and self-harm within)

[The memory is just of Lan Xichen himself, alone in a clearing beyond Cloud Recesses. He's sitting in the forest with a guqin, playing a song on the strings. It sounds pleasant enough, but there is something off about it, making the air thick and suffocating. The more he plays, the worse the feeling gets until every new note is nauseating, causing pain as the sounds seem to vibrate through bones and flesh.

He doesn't stop playing.

Looking ahead, Xichen continues to pluck each sour note, repeating the chords until he suddenly jerks forward, coughing blood and cutting his fingers on the strings as his hand spasms. He goes still, catching his breath in the quiet, and then gently moves the instrument back into position to begin again. Luckily, the memory fades there, leaving an otherwise pleasant forest.]

Comments

c

[seductless]

[ It's beautiful. Curiosity and a drive towards the unknown has taken her this far, but Grace hadn't known, or honestly given much thought to, what to expect when she'd stepped through the mirror. That he's found herself walking through a forest the likes of which she's never seen is a welcome surprise, even with the faint music she can hear steadily getting louder as she walks.

She can appreciate music, even if she's never known much about it, but even so she can tell when it shifts to something strange. A discordancy, for all that it doesn't sound any different, something that makes her shiver involuntarily. Without meaning to, she starts walking faster, towards the source.

And arrives at the clearing just in time to see a very familiar figure fall forward. Without conscious thought, she darts forward, one hand already outstretched. ]

Zewu--!

[ And the figure suddenly fades, Grace coming to an abrupt, somewhat confused stop, her outstretched hand curling into a fist. ]

[zewu_jun]

[The figure seated in the clearing reveals another man standing nearer to the trees, watching the scene. Lan Xichen has a reserved expression, lips turned to something not quite a frown as he looks at the spot where he once sat. He sighs slightly as the forest becomes tranquil and filled with insect sounds again, as if even the wildlife is creeping back after that terrible display. His eyes lift to Grace, not necessarily surprised to see her, but slightly guarded against the conversation that may be coming next.]

I recovered quickly enough. It does look bad like this, but it wasn't as damaging as it appears.

[seductless]

[ She turns to look at him, hand slowly falling to her side. It is a relief to see him well and whole, for all that Grace is perfectly aware that this memory may be from long ago. If he says he recovered, Grace will take his word for it.

But. Her eyes flicker over him quickly, taking in the tension in every line of his body, his expression. There are any number of possible explanations for why he would do something to harm himself, and this is not an injury Grace wants to exacerbate, old as it may be. ]

If I asked. [ Her voice is quiet careful. ] Would you tell me?

[zewu_jun]

[Her concern hasn't flagged since the trip to the outpost and Lan Xichen can't help but feel guilty for testing it here. Even though he wasn't expecting to ever share this memory with anyone else, she is there now and he does have a responsibility to provide some kind of explanation for that display. Trying to brush it away would be cruel to do after the time they have spent together. So he takes a deep breath and lets it out, smiling slightly.]

If you ask, I will do my best. But not here. There is a river further on that is quieter. It's a more pleasant place to talk.

[seductless]

[ She studies him for a moment longer before nodding once with a small, answering smile. It's not an expression she entirely trusts on him at the moment, but Grace has no hesitation in making it clear that she'll let the matter rest for the time being. It's enough that he's said he'll answer at all.

Rather than dwelling, she turns to glance around them again as she gestures for Lan Xichen to lead them where he likes. ]

Is this your home? [ He seems familiar enough with it, after all. ] It's lovely.

[zewu_jun]

[Having such a raw emotion exposed isn't easy to accept even with someone he trusts. It's embarrassing in the nicest case and shameful on top of that. Lan Xichen keeps his composure if only to salvage his pride and leads them away toward the riverbank where the flow of the water might mask some of the playing if the memory starts again.]

My home is further up.

[He gestures in the direction of a path that will lead to the entrance of Cloud Recesses.]

The mountain is ideal for those who do not mind a quiet life of studying, although if you travel to the bottom and head this direction you will reach Gusu city, which is quite lively. Some of the visiting disciples like to go there when the training becomes too dull.

[seductless]

[ A more genuine smile flickers across her face at that, widening further as she takes in Lan Xichen's placid expression. It's not all that different to the tight blankness of a moment ago, but Grace will take any attempts at improvement. And she won't deny her own curiosity about the world he comes from, besides. They've spoken of it before, but there is nothing quite like seeing it for herself. ]

I suppose quiet study is not for everyone.

[ Her own expression slides into something just a bit sly. ]

Did you ever travel there yourself?

III - a

[weiward]

[the mirror could only belong to one of two men. all the rules on it are an unpleasant reminder, enough to make wei wuxian hesitate before touching it.

not really. there's no way he could've resisted touching it. and he finds himself back in cloud recesses, not identical due to its rebuilding after the wens destroyed it, the passage of time and any other little world difference. but definitely cloud recesses.]

Lan Zhan! Zewu-jun!

[wei wuxian runs up to them, but they can't hear him of course. he listens to the exchange before his attention turns wholly to the younger man clinging to his donkey. really, he should sympathize. he's been the subect of that silencing spell more than once.

but he mostly just looks judgy, tsking before his words.]

Lan Zhan, why are you bringing someone like this home...

[seems familiar though.]

[zewu_jun]

[Of course the mirrors would reflect home. Thinking about it in retrospect, Lan Xichen should have expected as much, but he was so used to the dreams now leading them to unfamiliar places that the last thing he thought he would see in that mirror was cloud recesses and the people he actually knew quite well. On top of that, he couldn't mistake the scene playing out like a performance in front of him. The actors were flawless and even the air tasted like the mountain. Lan Xichen is just indulging his nostalgia a little when Wei Wuxian comes running up, bursting on the scene in typical fashion and standing right amid the figures as if he decided he belonged there.

He sighs and shakes his head as he approaches, letting the brothers finish talking about the arm that was retrieved from Mo village and what they each plan to do next.]

Wangji rescued him from what I heard later. Don't you think he looks like he needs some help? I'm certain that if he had been left behind, he would have been quite lonely.

[Comparing the two, the younger man's body with more experience and the older Wei Wuxian with less experience, it's hard to tell who seems more innocent. Lan Xichen smiles slightly, letting the other man watch the interaction.]

I thought it was nice to see Wangji so relieved.

[weiward]

[he crosses his arms over his chest, watching the stranger as lan zhan orders him dragged inside. he doesn't seem to be being overly kind to him, but the very fact that he's there with him at all-]

He looks like a fool who can't be trusted.

[and wei wuxian doesn't like it. if he was able, he would likely drag him right back out again, set him on his donkey, and give it a smack.]

He wouldn't even let me in the first time we met because I forgot our invitations, and now he's bringing strays right through the gate? Zewu-jun, why is he being so reckless? Who is that boy to him?

[he knows he shouldn't feel this way. lan wangji was surely lonely without him too, and it's wei wuxian who's to blame for that.

but he ain't happy about this powdered side piece.]

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is having a pretty good show watching Wei Wuxian get jealous of himself. He's going to answer him, maybe ease the poor man's suffering a bit, when the young former-Jiang says something strange about not being let into Cloud Recesses.]

Wei-gōngzǐ, didn't you willingly break the curfew? Wangji was only performing his duties. And if it weren't for that, you may not have had such a memorable encounter.

[But, really, he's giving poor Wei Wuxian too hard a time.]

Mm, looking at him, what do you think he is to my brother? Give me your honest assessment and I shall answer you from there.

[weiward]

I only did that because Shijie and Jiang Cheng were gone when I got back!

[...because lan wangji had allowed them inside after all. but he's right about the rest of it. it set a series of precious events into motion.

he's quiet for a moment, still pouting. but something is off about it all.]

Not a stranger. You said it yourself, he wouldn't bring just anyone here. [and so forcefully too. he hisses softly, thinking about the silencing spell in particular.] He's protecting him.

[zewu_jun]

You shouldn't blame your siblings for your mischief. I believe you also bought alcohol that is forbidden in the sect, did you not?

[Despite the scolding words, Xichen actually speaks calmly. He refuses to give Wei Wuxian the slightest piece of reprieve, but he doesn't even bother to act judgmental. They are already far past the point of Xichen criticizing the man for drinking and breaking rules, but with Wei Wuxian one can't always resist a light admonishment.]

Very good. He is someone Wangji cares about. A familiar person he would chase without exception.

[No matter what body he was in.]

III. C. TIME FOR A TALK I GUESS o/

[taciturnly]

( he doesn’t mean to pry. to spy. it feels wrong even as the scenery unfolds before his eyes, a song he recognizes, and fragments of home. his brother plays undisturbed, though it’s a façade lan wangji is quickly able to see through. a splash of crimson, a stubborn frown. and in the midst of lower notes, pain, and lan wangji stares horrified, reaching out for a man who can’t hear him. )

Xiōngzhǎng! Stop! ( he doesn’t, but the vision fades, and lan wangji’s breath catches in the back of his throat, leaving him stiff and wide-eyed. by coming here, he hoped to understand better, maybe. he isn’t sure he does. )

[zewu_jun]

[This is not a memory Xichen wants anyone to see. No one should have to know what he did to test the song of turmoil. And he especially did not want to subject Wangji to that, knowing that his younger brother had a hard enough time when he knew what he was planning to do. Seeing it in person would just be needlessly painful.

Of course the dream won't let them just rest. Xichen hears the shout behind the music playing and moves in quickly, rushing to the spot just as the phantom with his image fades. He looks between that ghost and Wangji for a split second before putting himself in front of his brother, raising one arm to block his view even though the figure is already gone.]

You shouldn't be here.

[His voice is soft, but slightly edged in panic.]

Come with me. Don't look at that- It's not fit to be seen.

[taciturnly]

( he knows he shouldn’t be here, and though it doesn’t exactly sound like an accusation, lan wangji still has the courtesy to let his gaze wander down, an apologetic bow of his head. as much as he finally knows, it feels like he knows nothing get out jon snow, his brother a treasure trove of mysteries.

he keeps his head inclined in respect, half in shame, half in grief. lan xichen has suffered long enough, pain rekindled with the arrival of his sworn brother. he wants to understand. to help, but too many of his questions still remain unanswered. ) Xiōngzhǎng. ( he breathes shaky, memories of the song of turmoil causing his eyes to momentarily close. ) Why? ( so much packed into one single word, way beyond the pulled strings of the guqin. )

[zewu_jun]

[Xichen tries to gently usher his brother away from the clearing and the memory, shielding him from the memory like that might protect him from further pain in his life. He's already suffered far too much to take more from Xichen on top of it.]

Wangji. [He breathes a quiet sigh of frustration with himself. If he were the type, he would wrap his arms around his brother and try to comfort him, maybe hide him from the memories he wasn't supposed to know about. Instead, Xichen can only attempt to offer some peace of mind with words.]

Shouldn't I know the truth? Nie Mingjue suffered a long time with it. Compared to that, a few hours is nothing. You felt the same way.

[taciturnly]

( for someone who branded himself in a drunken stupor, lan wangji certainly is one to talk. as different as they might be, they’re cut from the same cloth, the same beats in their veins. he’s not judging, and he does turn away, if only to spare his brother unnecessary stress and embarrassment. but he’s no less worried, and it shows in the crease between his brows as he finally looks up, quiet for a moment as he struggles to find the right words for all the things he wants to say.

ultimately, he chooses to reveal his hand right away, not to corner his brother but to avoid needless tip-toeing and confusion, a deep exhale. ) Xiōngzhǎng. ( his voice is a little strained, compassion filtering into his tone; lower, one of his hands tightens around bichen, the other clutching the fabric of his robes behind his back. ) I saw everything.

[zewu_jun]

[Xichen is relieved when his brother turn away from the area. Even if the memory is no longer replaying his shameful behaviour, he doesn't want the reminder still right in Wangji's field of view. It's bad enough that he had to witness it at all. And that is evident just by looking at the younger man's expression, creased and tense with unspoken displeasure.

Hearing those three words is worse. Xichen freezes briefly, his breathing stopping as he realizes just what Wangji is saying and how much it means. His heart sinks as he looks down, gaze finding a place in the grass nearby. Everything. That is exactly what he never wished for his brother to face.]

In a mirror?

ii

[chifeng_zun]

[It's a chance encounter. Lan Xichen happens to be approaching an apothecary that Nie Mingjue is leaving, empty-handed. The proprietor's attitudes toward sleeping through full moons had been not what he desired (namely he'd been told that was a bad idea and you shouldn't drug yourself through the lunar cycle, it's dangerous for your health, etc.) He misses The Unclean Realm where people do what he damn well wants them to.

If they just get worse from here, he isn't sure what he's going to do. He's irritable and itchy, growing patches on his skin; something scaly, and light peach-fuzz fur in other places. He's already scratched his forearm hard enough to take one of the forming leathery scales right off, and it's hastily wrapped in a white bandage dotted with blood.

He spots Xichen asking a passer-by for advice, someone whose eyes glint with something less than friendly as he offers to show Lan Xichen something 'helpful' himself, and Nie Mingjue heaves a sigh, moving to stand behind the native, looming. He's not that much taller than Xichen, but he is quite a bit taller than the man with ill intentions.]

He thanks you for your advice, but a demonstration is not necessary.

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is not as innocently trusting as he sometimes may appear, but he is still friendly and tends to be overly humoring, even when it's a bad idea. So while he doesn't miss the shady expression the man gives him when he asks for something that can help ease a Monster's discomfort, he agrees to go along anyway, because he's confident that he won't be in too much trouble.

It doesn't matter, though, because Nie Mingjue steps in, towering over the offender like a vengeful shadow. The smaller man cringes back, making some excuse about being willing to help any time, sure, just going to leave you two to it then--and he's gone like a rabbit sensing a hawk. Xichen smiles widely, laughing just a bit.]

Jue-xiōng! I was going to come see you once I finished shopping. This is fated timing.

[chifeng_zun]

[Lan Xichen could have handled himself. He isn't known as the greatest cultivator of their generation for nothing, after all, and he's more familiar with this city than Nie Mingjue is. But so too is it true that Nie Mingjue has a protective streak a mile wide when it comes to certain individuals. Even if Xichen could have handled himself, Mingjue can't help it, especially now, with the moons destined to be full again tonight.

He's been restless. Sleepless. Itching for something he can't put a finger on. (And just itching in general, as his painful missing scale likes to remind him when moving his arm pulls on the wound. He had been slowly reaching toward Baxia, but he lets the arm fall loose at his side again when it seems to be unnecessary.) His eyes track the man as he scurries off like a predator watching prey, too lazy and not hungry enough to go after it. Interestingly, his pupils expand as he stares, growing smaller when the prey is out of sight.

Once he's gone, Mingjue scowls, but there isn't much heat in it, directed at Xichen.] What were you shopping for?

[zewu_jun]

Treatments for changes.

[He's quite proud of himself, moving to stand closer to his brother's side in a familiar place that is very much like home. It might also be a gesture of gratitude, letting Mingjue chase away the threat and submitting himself to the authority that he gives off.

It also makes showing off his haul very convenient.]

This is a balm that is supposed to help with dry skin. This one, I'm told, helps with hunger and urges to chew on things around you. And I found some herbs that the vendor says work well to calm some of the restlessness. We will have to burn them to see if they work, but they smell quite nice.

[chifeng_zun]

[Something in him settles a little, once the intruder is gone and Lan Xichen has moved a little closer to his side. It feels a little more right - not that anything in his world feels very right at the moment, but it's more right. It is... the soothing of an instinct, buried deep, perhaps.

Not that he pays it much mind. He's looking down at the plethora of items Lan Xichen has gathered with mild irritation (he has Resting Irritated Face, no doubt his friend knows this already), listening in silence as he explains the uses for each one. Balm for dry skin, huh...]

You did not need to trouble yourself- [He glances up, frowning deeper.] Who has the urge to chew on things? [Because it is certainly not him!! He is a Sect Leader!! He is Chifeng-zun, hero of the Sunshot Campaign!! Nie Mingjue does not chew on things around him.]

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is a bit too cheerful about his finds, but he's feeling accomplished after his little trip out. He's been doing a good deal of research, and a Lan on a studying high is probably a force to be reckoned with on its own.]

Aha, well, that one might depend on the species, but I thought it couldn't hurt to be prepared. A few vendors also recommended looking for more specific tools that might help. Exercising equipment or stands for cleaning wings or other limbs. Since I didn't know what to expect, I haven't bought anything like that yet.

[And this is an invitation to Mingjue to update his brother on what his new needs are. Clearly now it's all about tailoring his efforts toward certain types. A snake seems pretty straightforward, so now he just has to figure out what to do for Nie Mingjue's new form.]

You don't appear to be too far along yet. Do you feel very different?