[open] Trying to find inner peace

[zewu_jun]

Who: Lan Xichen and OPEN to anyone
When: April
Where: In the dream and around Aef
What: Memory sharing, training, and meeting people (and thugs)
Warnings: some blood and slight self-harm in the last prompt


I. Training in the waking world

[Lan Xichen has found a quit spot outside of the Bright Wall. It's less secure, but sometimes you need a place with a little danger, especially if you are practicing the spells he wants to practice. He doesn't see anyone around and at the moment there are no Shades or animals hunting, so he draws his sword and focuses his magic around it. After a few minutes, he does get it to glow. Raising the blade, Xichen slices across the air in front of him, sending the shine flying out away from the edge in an arc that actually cuts a tree a few feet away. The glow dies immediately, but he looks satisfied.]

It can be done after all. Once you learn to fish, it just takes finding the right pool.

II. Around the city

[It might be in the library or the apothecary. It might even be the streets where Xichen is shopping at the time. But he keeps asking wherever he is about information.]

Excuse me, I need help. I wish to ask for advice on how monsters handle their health. I know there are many different variables... What should I do to help ease transformations?

[He's collecting pamphlets and books, various home remedies and recipes that both other witches and monsters around town offer him. Some are a little more unreliable than others, though, and sooner or later the man is going to get swindled. Some even offer to show him personally, just down this side street here. Since he's pretty and offering to buy so much, he must have money, right?]

III. Dream World Memories
[Lan Xichen's mirror is decorated simply, with cloud motifs carved in the sides and a few intricate flowers and petals seeming to rain down one side. The rest is marked by tiny characters carved in straight, orderly lines. Some might recognize these as words, rules, in fact, written into the frame of the mirror in perfect columns. Lan Xichen stands outside it, taking in the whole piece with a slight frown. Then he reaches out to the glass, making it ripple. Sighing, he steps through.]

Memory A; something pleasant
[The air in the memory is crisp and fresh. Surrounded by trees and fog, a small gathering of buildings lies hidden on a remote mountainside. The place is decorated with idyllic waterside pavilions and gardens, making it seem like a picturesque fantasy surrounded by a white wall. At the entrance, two groups of men are talking, apparently each on their way through the door going in opposite directions. One group is led by Lan Wangji, looking stern and cool as usual, and the other is Lan Xichen. Off to one side behind Lan Wangji, an unhappy looking man in darker robes is clinging to a donkey like it might save him from some horrible fate.

"Wangji never brings guests home. Who is this?"

The darker clad man steps forward like he's about to speak, but suddenly his mouth closes tightly, Lan Wangji's glare apparently being the source of the spell. The younger Lan instead poses his own question, changing topics abruptly so the "guest" can't share his name or protest. The two brothers converse a little, and as they finish, visitor manages to open his mouth again. Lan Xichen smiles as he and his group get ready to move on.

"It's not often that you being someone home like this in such good spirits. You should treat your guest with more courtesy than this."

As Lan Xichen and his party leave the grounds, behind them, they can hear Lan Wangji's voice distinctly say drag him inside. Xichen laughs quietly, shaking his head as he continues his walk and everyone fades away into the mists.

Memory B; on the run (a bit of blood within)

[In a random town with streets lined with full carts and market traffic, a young man hurries through parting crowds. The white robes, even dirty and smudged with ash, still stand out enough to be recognizable, causing people to avert their eyes as well as draw away from him as he pushes himself to keep going, clutching a bundle of salvaged books in his arms.

"Who is that? He looks like he's in bad shape."

"Shh, don't bother with him. That's one of the Lan disciples."

"I heard that the Lan clan dared to insult the Wens. Guess that's what you get when you pick fights with someone bigger than you."

"Isn't it just because they control neighboring territories? The Wen clan was looking for a good excuse to move in."

"Who cares? That's cultivator business. Just ignore him before someone actually comes looking and spots him here. Then they'll burn down our home too."

The boy goes right past the group of gossips, not looking up as he passes, but coming too close to one of them, the man shoves him aside and his strength gives out, blood joining the stains on his robes as he falls to his knees.

"Get the hell out of here! We don't want troublemakers in our city."

Dragging himself back to his feet, the young Lan Xichen keeps moving before he incites more anger. As he stumbles to the edge of the memory's space, a soft voice comes through: Are you all right? Then the figures all disappear before restarting again.]

Memory C; breaking up isn't easy (blood and self-harm within)

[The memory is just of Lan Xichen himself, alone in a clearing beyond Cloud Recesses. He's sitting in the forest with a guqin, playing a song on the strings. It sounds pleasant enough, but there is something off about it, making the air thick and suffocating. The more he plays, the worse the feeling gets until every new note is nauseating, causing pain as the sounds seem to vibrate through bones and flesh.

He doesn't stop playing.

Looking ahead, Xichen continues to pluck each sour note, repeating the chords until he suddenly jerks forward, coughing blood and cutting his fingers on the strings as his hand spasms. He goes still, catching his breath in the quiet, and then gently moves the instrument back into position to begin again. Luckily, the memory fades there, leaving an otherwise pleasant forest.]

Comments

c

[seductless]

[ It's beautiful. Curiosity and a drive towards the unknown has taken her this far, but Grace hadn't known, or honestly given much thought to, what to expect when she'd stepped through the mirror. That he's found herself walking through a forest the likes of which she's never seen is a welcome surprise, even with the faint music she can hear steadily getting louder as she walks.

She can appreciate music, even if she's never known much about it, but even so she can tell when it shifts to something strange. A discordancy, for all that it doesn't sound any different, something that makes her shiver involuntarily. Without meaning to, she starts walking faster, towards the source.

And arrives at the clearing just in time to see a very familiar figure fall forward. Without conscious thought, she darts forward, one hand already outstretched. ]

Zewu--!

[ And the figure suddenly fades, Grace coming to an abrupt, somewhat confused stop, her outstretched hand curling into a fist. ]

III - a

[weiward]

[the mirror could only belong to one of two men. all the rules on it are an unpleasant reminder, enough to make wei wuxian hesitate before touching it.

not really. there's no way he could've resisted touching it. and he finds himself back in cloud recesses, not identical due to its rebuilding after the wens destroyed it, the passage of time and any other little world difference. but definitely cloud recesses.]

Lan Zhan! Zewu-jun!

[wei wuxian runs up to them, but they can't hear him of course. he listens to the exchange before his attention turns wholly to the younger man clinging to his donkey. really, he should sympathize. he's been the subect of that silencing spell more than once.

but he mostly just looks judgy, tsking before his words.]

Lan Zhan, why are you bringing someone like this home...

[seems familiar though.]

III. C. TIME FOR A TALK I GUESS o/

[taciturnly]

( he doesn’t mean to pry. to spy. it feels wrong even as the scenery unfolds before his eyes, a song he recognizes, and fragments of home. his brother plays undisturbed, though it’s a façade lan wangji is quickly able to see through. a splash of crimson, a stubborn frown. and in the midst of lower notes, pain, and lan wangji stares horrified, reaching out for a man who can’t hear him. )

Xiōngzhǎng! Stop! ( he doesn’t, but the vision fades, and lan wangji’s breath catches in the back of his throat, leaving him stiff and wide-eyed. by coming here, he hoped to understand better, maybe. he isn’t sure he does. )

[zewu_jun]

[The figure seated in the clearing reveals another man standing nearer to the trees, watching the scene. Lan Xichen has a reserved expression, lips turned to something not quite a frown as he looks at the spot where he once sat. He sighs slightly as the forest becomes tranquil and filled with insect sounds again, as if even the wildlife is creeping back after that terrible display. His eyes lift to Grace, not necessarily surprised to see her, but slightly guarded against the conversation that may be coming next.]

I recovered quickly enough. It does look bad like this, but it wasn't as damaging as it appears.

[zewu_jun]

[Of course the mirrors would reflect home. Thinking about it in retrospect, Lan Xichen should have expected as much, but he was so used to the dreams now leading them to unfamiliar places that the last thing he thought he would see in that mirror was cloud recesses and the people he actually knew quite well. On top of that, he couldn't mistake the scene playing out like a performance in front of him. The actors were flawless and even the air tasted like the mountain. Lan Xichen is just indulging his nostalgia a little when Wei Wuxian comes running up, bursting on the scene in typical fashion and standing right amid the figures as if he decided he belonged there.

He sighs and shakes his head as he approaches, letting the brothers finish talking about the arm that was retrieved from Mo village and what they each plan to do next.]

Wangji rescued him from what I heard later. Don't you think he looks like he needs some help? I'm certain that if he had been left behind, he would have been quite lonely.

[Comparing the two, the younger man's body with more experience and the older Wei Wuxian with less experience, it's hard to tell who seems more innocent. Lan Xichen smiles slightly, letting the other man watch the interaction.]

I thought it was nice to see Wangji so relieved.

[zewu_jun]

[This is not a memory Xichen wants anyone to see. No one should have to know what he did to test the song of turmoil. And he especially did not want to subject Wangji to that, knowing that his younger brother had a hard enough time when he knew what he was planning to do. Seeing it in person would just be needlessly painful.

Of course the dream won't let them just rest. Xichen hears the shout behind the music playing and moves in quickly, rushing to the spot just as the phantom with his image fades. He looks between that ghost and Wangji for a split second before putting himself in front of his brother, raising one arm to block his view even though the figure is already gone.]

You shouldn't be here.

[His voice is soft, but slightly edged in panic.]

Come with me. Don't look at that- It's not fit to be seen.

[weiward]

[he crosses his arms over his chest, watching the stranger as lan zhan orders him dragged inside. he doesn't seem to be being overly kind to him, but the very fact that he's there with him at all-]

He looks like a fool who can't be trusted.

[and wei wuxian doesn't like it. if he was able, he would likely drag him right back out again, set him on his donkey, and give it a smack.]

He wouldn't even let me in the first time we met because I forgot our invitations, and now he's bringing strays right through the gate? Zewu-jun, why is he being so reckless? Who is that boy to him?

[he knows he shouldn't feel this way. lan wangji was surely lonely without him too, and it's wei wuxian who's to blame for that.

but he ain't happy about this powdered side piece.]

ii

[chifeng_zun]

[It's a chance encounter. Lan Xichen happens to be approaching an apothecary that Nie Mingjue is leaving, empty-handed. The proprietor's attitudes toward sleeping through full moons had been not what he desired (namely he'd been told that was a bad idea and you shouldn't drug yourself through the lunar cycle, it's dangerous for your health, etc.) He misses The Unclean Realm where people do what he damn well wants them to.

If they just get worse from here, he isn't sure what he's going to do. He's irritable and itchy, growing patches on his skin; something scaly, and light peach-fuzz fur in other places. He's already scratched his forearm hard enough to take one of the forming leathery scales right off, and it's hastily wrapped in a white bandage dotted with blood.

He spots Xichen asking a passer-by for advice, someone whose eyes glint with something less than friendly as he offers to show Lan Xichen something 'helpful' himself, and Nie Mingjue heaves a sigh, moving to stand behind the native, looming. He's not that much taller than Xichen, but he is quite a bit taller than the man with ill intentions.]

He thanks you for your advice, but a demonstration is not necessary.

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is having a pretty good show watching Wei Wuxian get jealous of himself. He's going to answer him, maybe ease the poor man's suffering a bit, when the young former-Jiang says something strange about not being let into Cloud Recesses.]

Wei-gōngzǐ, didn't you willingly break the curfew? Wangji was only performing his duties. And if it weren't for that, you may not have had such a memorable encounter.

[But, really, he's giving poor Wei Wuxian too hard a time.]

Mm, looking at him, what do you think he is to my brother? Give me your honest assessment and I shall answer you from there.

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is not as innocently trusting as he sometimes may appear, but he is still friendly and tends to be overly humoring, even when it's a bad idea. So while he doesn't miss the shady expression the man gives him when he asks for something that can help ease a Monster's discomfort, he agrees to go along anyway, because he's confident that he won't be in too much trouble.

It doesn't matter, though, because Nie Mingjue steps in, towering over the offender like a vengeful shadow. The smaller man cringes back, making some excuse about being willing to help any time, sure, just going to leave you two to it then--and he's gone like a rabbit sensing a hawk. Xichen smiles widely, laughing just a bit.]

Jue-xiōng! I was going to come see you once I finished shopping. This is fated timing.

[chifeng_zun]

[Lan Xichen could have handled himself. He isn't known as the greatest cultivator of their generation for nothing, after all, and he's more familiar with this city than Nie Mingjue is. But so too is it true that Nie Mingjue has a protective streak a mile wide when it comes to certain individuals. Even if Xichen could have handled himself, Mingjue can't help it, especially now, with the moons destined to be full again tonight.

He's been restless. Sleepless. Itching for something he can't put a finger on. (And just itching in general, as his painful missing scale likes to remind him when moving his arm pulls on the wound. He had been slowly reaching toward Baxia, but he lets the arm fall loose at his side again when it seems to be unnecessary.) His eyes track the man as he scurries off like a predator watching prey, too lazy and not hungry enough to go after it. Interestingly, his pupils expand as he stares, growing smaller when the prey is out of sight.

Once he's gone, Mingjue scowls, but there isn't much heat in it, directed at Xichen.] What were you shopping for?

[zewu_jun]

Treatments for changes.

[He's quite proud of himself, moving to stand closer to his brother's side in a familiar place that is very much like home. It might also be a gesture of gratitude, letting Mingjue chase away the threat and submitting himself to the authority that he gives off.

It also makes showing off his haul very convenient.]

This is a balm that is supposed to help with dry skin. This one, I'm told, helps with hunger and urges to chew on things around you. And I found some herbs that the vendor says work well to calm some of the restlessness. We will have to burn them to see if they work, but they smell quite nice.

[taciturnly]

( he knows he shouldn’t be here, and though it doesn’t exactly sound like an accusation, lan wangji still has the courtesy to let his gaze wander down, an apologetic bow of his head. as much as he finally knows, it feels like he knows nothing get out jon snow, his brother a treasure trove of mysteries.

he keeps his head inclined in respect, half in shame, half in grief. lan xichen has suffered long enough, pain rekindled with the arrival of his sworn brother. he wants to understand. to help, but too many of his questions still remain unanswered. ) Xiōngzhǎng. ( he breathes shaky, memories of the song of turmoil causing his eyes to momentarily close. ) Why? ( so much packed into one single word, way beyond the pulled strings of the guqin. )

[chifeng_zun]

[Something in him settles a little, once the intruder is gone and Lan Xichen has moved a little closer to his side. It feels a little more right - not that anything in his world feels very right at the moment, but it's more right. It is... the soothing of an instinct, buried deep, perhaps.

Not that he pays it much mind. He's looking down at the plethora of items Lan Xichen has gathered with mild irritation (he has Resting Irritated Face, no doubt his friend knows this already), listening in silence as he explains the uses for each one. Balm for dry skin, huh...]

You did not need to trouble yourself- [He glances up, frowning deeper.] Who has the urge to chew on things? [Because it is certainly not him!! He is a Sect Leader!! He is Chifeng-zun, hero of the Sunshot Campaign!! Nie Mingjue does not chew on things around him.]

[zewu_jun]

[Xichen tries to gently usher his brother away from the clearing and the memory, shielding him from the memory like that might protect him from further pain in his life. He's already suffered far too much to take more from Xichen on top of it.]

Wangji. [He breathes a quiet sigh of frustration with himself. If he were the type, he would wrap his arms around his brother and try to comfort him, maybe hide him from the memories he wasn't supposed to know about. Instead, Xichen can only attempt to offer some peace of mind with words.]

Shouldn't I know the truth? Nie Mingjue suffered a long time with it. Compared to that, a few hours is nothing. You felt the same way.

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen is a bit too cheerful about his finds, but he's feeling accomplished after his little trip out. He's been doing a good deal of research, and a Lan on a studying high is probably a force to be reckoned with on its own.]

Aha, well, that one might depend on the species, but I thought it couldn't hurt to be prepared. A few vendors also recommended looking for more specific tools that might help. Exercising equipment or stands for cleaning wings or other limbs. Since I didn't know what to expect, I haven't bought anything like that yet.

[And this is an invitation to Mingjue to update his brother on what his new needs are. Clearly now it's all about tailoring his efforts toward certain types. A snake seems pretty straightforward, so now he just has to figure out what to do for Nie Mingjue's new form.]

You don't appear to be too far along yet. Do you feel very different?

[taciturnly]

( for someone who branded himself in a drunken stupor, lan wangji certainly is one to talk. as different as they might be, they’re cut from the same cloth, the same beats in their veins. he’s not judging, and he does turn away, if only to spare his brother unnecessary stress and embarrassment. but he’s no less worried, and it shows in the crease between his brows as he finally looks up, quiet for a moment as he struggles to find the right words for all the things he wants to say.

ultimately, he chooses to reveal his hand right away, not to corner his brother but to avoid needless tip-toeing and confusion, a deep exhale. ) Xiōngzhǎng. ( his voice is a little strained, compassion filtering into his tone; lower, one of his hands tightens around bichen, the other clutching the fabric of his robes behind his back. ) I saw everything.

[chifeng_zun]

[There has been a slight ache in his jaw. Oh no. Is he going to start chewing on things? He damn well hopes not. He'd like to retain some dignity, and not find himself gnawing on everything he comes in contact with like he remembers Huaisang many years ago when he was teething.

The more he thinks about it, the more he dreads what must be to come. He doesn't meet Xichen's gaze for a few minutes, staring out at the crowd around them instead. Most seem to give Mingjue a wide berth, which is good - there are too many people around for his tastes.] Chimera. [He finally replies, almost reluctantly giving what he has learned to be his new species. Not that that alone will tell Xichen much, without knowing what animals or beasts he is a chimera of.]

You just cannot see any of it. [He grunts. Luckily so far, his robes have covered up his most visible changes.] Let's go somewhere private. I will show you. [Lan Xichen can probably not be deterred, but... He's not taking off his clothes in public.]

[zewu_jun]

[Xichen is relieved when his brother turn away from the area. Even if the memory is no longer replaying his shameful behaviour, he doesn't want the reminder still right in Wangji's field of view. It's bad enough that he had to witness it at all. And that is evident just by looking at the younger man's expression, creased and tense with unspoken displeasure.

Hearing those three words is worse. Xichen freezes briefly, his breathing stopping as he realizes just what Wangji is saying and how much it means. His heart sinks as he looks down, gaze finding a place in the grass nearby. Everything. That is exactly what he never wished for his brother to face.]

In a mirror?

[zewu_jun]

[There is sympathy in Xichen's eyes under the friendly amusement. He might tease, but his efforts to give his brother some relief are genuine. If he is going to become something else, then Xichen is going to do everything in his power to personally make sure he is safe and comfortable.

He's not surprised or hesitant when Nie Mingjue tells him that there are changes he can't show in public. That makes sense, with so many robes to cover his body. He won't necessarily know about the differences if they are hidden under clothing.]

All right. Where would you like to go?

[chifeng_zun]

[Nie Mingjue has no doubts about that. He's known Xichen long enough to know how persistent he can be when he sets his mind to something, and evidently, he's set his mind to becoming the best monster caretaker on Geardagas. Right now, he'll take any kind of pity that eases some of the damnable itching.]

My... residence, is near. [Just a short walk to the apartment building in the Haven. Nie Mingjue leads the way, his steps brisk. It's not much of a residence. It's certainly not the Unclean Realm, not anywhere near as impressive as the ancestral fortress of the Nie, though the apartment he's staying in for now is just as as utilitarian as his quarters back home, though it is even more lacking in personal touches.

He lets Lan Xichen in, and closes the door behind them. Unceremoniously, he starts to strip out of his outer layers mechanically.] All this damned itching and flaking. It's repulsive. [He grumbles, draping the outer robes across a chair, starting to shed his inner robes to the waist.

His skin has certainly looked better. All up the outsides of his arms, across his shoulders, down his sides and on part of his back is a patchwork of short, peach-fuzz tiger fur coming in, the stripes standing out dark against his tanned skin, and spots where the skin is flaking off, revealing the gunmetal gray, leathery skin of a crocodile. They certainly seem chimeric - the three (tiger, crocodile, human) vastly opposing skin types begin and end abruptly like a stitched-together quilt. And of course, there's the bandage around his forearm where he'd scratched off a scale.]

[taciturnly]

( ignorance was bliss, to an extent. it could also have had dire repercussions, and all in all, lan wangji is relieved to know. but relief isn’t the only thing he feels. it’s an amalgam of overwhelming emotions, with anguish and anger high above, looming over everything else. lan xichen’s memory has only reinforced the latter, and there’s only one way now, for jin guangyao to approach him; over lan wangji’s dead body.

he nods once, feeling his brother’s unease and wishing he could whisk it away. ) Mn. ( mirrors don’t lie. his entire body stiffens, one step towards his brother, who’s always been so kind. in the end, it was also his demise, and lan wangji makes a conscious effort to soften his rougher edges, firm yet gentle. ) Jin Guangyao cannot be trusted. ( honorary title deliberately omitted. )

[zewu_jun]

[He can't help stiffening his posture a bit as Wangji finally speaks. He doesn't say it directly, but they are both from Cloud Recesses and Xichen knows the language of his family and his brother well enough to recognize a bit of their uncle in those words. He frowns, raising his head with polite posture. Still gentle and outwardly agreeable, but his answer is equally decided.]

I know. I will be careful.

[One has to be careful when dealing with these matters. That won't stop him from seeing them through.]

[zewu_jun]

[Lan Xichen follows after his brother calmly, as if being invited in to check his condition were perfectly natural for them. He can maybe even sense some of Mingjue's agitation and in true fashion has committed himself to giving his older brother some healing, even if it is through new medicines. Unlike Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue's forthright nature is easy to work with. He can coax the stubborn man into honesty with very little effort, a fact that Xichen can't help but look on fondly. As fierce as Chifeng-zun is on the battlefield, his softer side shows once he's been properly soothed.

Once they are inside and Mingjue is pulling off his robes, Xichen fully examines him. The strange patches of fur and scale don't seem to belong together, yet somehow they form a synchronicity that looks almost like a pattern to the Lan.]

It must be difficult for it with the thick hide coming in right next to fur. That probably just irritates it further.

[He fishes some ointment out of his collection of new items and opens the container, spreading some on his fingers before gently touching them to the gray, dry skin of his torso.]

What happened to your arm?

[He can guess already, but he's going to ask.]

[chifeng_zun]

[They've known each other for a while now. If there is anyone Nie Mingjue can be comfortable around, can show a little vulnerability to, it's Lan Xichen. He has no real qualms with inviting him in, or stripping down to the waist to show him the deformities on his body. After all, he did ask for this - not in as many words, but Mingjue knows if he had put up a fight about it, he would have eventually lost and they would have wound up here anyway. You have to pick your battles.

His expression sours a little more when he puts it into words. Thick hide. Fur. He only grunts out an assent that it is indeed irritating.] I have been restless as well. [And agitated - which is probably stating the obvious, so he leaves that part unsaid.] The lunar cycle. [It feels like a weakness to admit that the full moons are affecting him this much.

When Xichen's careful fingers touch a dry patch of scaly skin, spreading ointment on it, he cannot feel much, but the moisture is soothing, a quiet bit of relief. He lets out a breath, shoulders relaxing just a fraction.] Scratched it. The damn scale took a piece of flesh with it. [They're probably still a bit tender where the new hide meets old skin, not having had time to toughen up or adjust.]