middaeg | [Open] Come In From The Cold...

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[Open] Come In From The Cold...

Who: House Darkness Residents and OPEN
When: All of February
Where: House Darkness in the Haven
What: It's an open log!
Warnings: Shadowbringers Spoilers in some threads possible, possible talk of the Snatched Event

[If anyone knows the residents of the house, it might seem strange that such a group have selected a cozy abode for their home in the city. However, it is not to be said that they are unwelcoming (depending on who) and usually when someone comes to visit, there's always a warm cup of tea ready for them...and maybe some food to go along with it. Feels like a crime if someone doesn't get fed. And despite the hardships of the previous month, the house does welcome guests for any particular reasons whether a visit for the soul, a chat to catch up on events, or even maybe go a few rounds with the poor striking dummy in the backyard.

When you live with sword users and have stress, it gets used, ok?

It might be chilly outside but strange enough, the house itself is pretty warm. Just mind the gaelkitten and Flood running around from time to time.]

((OOC: Feel free to make a top level if you wish! Open to all!))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[DAMMIT VANI! But that's the question wasn't it. She admitted to Emet that she does care about him but just didn't know how to describe it. And then before the kidnappings where she had felt for a brief moment, something positive from his side of their Bond and what came next.

And then when they happened, it was painful about the Bond being smothered. Why though?]

Of course I do! I even told him that I care about him!

[Those are feelings, right?]

That sounds like someone who isn't entirely certain of the depth of "care."

[ ANOTHER SHRUG. ]

But then again what do I know about caring and all that stuff? The guardians of Light also go through some pretty extreme things to protect those that they "care" about.

You came after him too, didn't you? Does that not count?

[She honestly hasn't thought about the depth, she just assumed caring was caring.]

[ Now don't go and turn this back on him. ]

That's what allies are supposed to do, right?

[Too late.]

That is what is supposed to happen, aye. But sometimes allies do nothing at all.

Now that I know a thing or two about.

[ The Organization was filled with people like that. ]

Edited 2020-02-09 02:51 (UTC)

[Oof. Mira can't help but move in and pat him gently on the shoulder.]

My apologies. 'Twas not my intent.

[ He waves it off. He knows that hadn't really been her intention. ]

I know. Let's just say that the Organization didn't really care about individuals other than themselves. Not in the end, anyway.

This Organization sounds pleasant.

[Maybe enough to punch.]

About as pleasant as turning into a sin eater, I would imagine.

[ Van gives Mira a look for that. Then shifts his gaze off to the side. ]

Save for Master Xehanort, the rest of us didn't matter. Those from the past that lost their battles would return to the past. Any from the present would simply fade away... Maybe they'd be recompleted and maybe they wouldn't be.

[ He frowns. ]

By this time I understood that I wouldn't have my other half returned to me. So what difference did it make if I won or lost? Either way my fragment to complete the ultimate Keyblade would be created. So, really, fading away into nonexistence wasn't a horrible alternative.

[ Now Mira might understand what Sora had meant when he had asked her if Vanitas had been saying crazy things. ]

[She would answer to his idea of fading away to not be so bad if it wasn't due to the fact that Vani mentions the sin eater part. The fact that she never had spoken about her potential descent to becoming the most powerful Lightwarden to anyone makes her worried. Who told him? And by the look he gives her, she knew somehow that it wasn't a general idea but specific.]

How...how did you learn about that?

[ Actually, Mira can continue to focus on this line of conversation for as long as she wants. ]

Mira... Who don't I have contact with from your star? Or other versions from your star. Naturally someone was going to let it slip.

[She didn't think much on it back then because there was too much going on. And now that moons have seemed to pass, Mira can't help but let it set in. What it was, how it came to be and what it meant. And it stings.]

Then you know what happened, yes?

[ Okay so maybe there is the tiniest bit of guilt that tugs on his heart. Just a tiny bit. Nothing major. ]

Not really. The extent of what I can figure is that, somehow, you must have taken in some of this corrupted Light aether. You didn't turn into a sin eater in the end, so you must have found a solution to the problem.

...a lot of it.

[It's quiet as she hangs her head, folding her hands in her lap.]

I took in a lot of it. Because I was told that I was the only one who could and yet was never told of the effects, what was slowly happening to me as I took in more. To save a world almost lost to the brink but at what cost to me? I was not told of a plan that would possibly sacrifice another while I was kept unaware until it was about to happen.

I truly hate noble sacrifices. There's nothing noble about them, just a way to make people feel better about death.

[ Vanitas listens, of course. Out of many things, listening is what he does best. No, he can't imagine that Mira would be okay with people putting themselves out there for her sake.

He slides the pillow back to her. Unsure of what else he could do. Of what he should do. ]

If you had known about this plan in full, would it have made a difference?

[Thanks son, the pillow helps to hold onto.]

Possibly. At least there would have been a chance to try and come up with something better than what happened.

[And a few good smacks to the head.]

Do you think that it could have been done another way?

[ He's curious. ]

What was the point in taking in all that aether?

Perhaps. But it will never be known now.

[What would have changed if she had asked? Would it happen? Would a fate be different?]

Where I was before coming here...there was an imbalance between Light and Dark Aether. Too much that a great flood occurred and there became an everlasting light in the sky for nearly a hundred years. The imbalance was dangerous, to the point that if left unchecked would have destroyed the star.

[Cause a Calamity, help the ascians with Rejoining.]

We did not know what would happen when faced with a strong sin eater, called a Lightwarden, until I had defeated one and absorbed their aether. It was because of this that the night sky in certain areas was able to return. And yet there was no more said nor what would happen once I had gathered all the Lightwarden's aether. Everyone believed I could hold it in, be strong enough to do so given my title and yet...

[She couldn't in the end. It was a horrible feeling as if she let everyone down because of her limits.]

On this Shard, I take it...

[ Look, he does talk to an awfully lot of people from Mira's world, alternate timeline or otherwise. Now he really is starting to get the full picture of what these "Warriors of Light" had actually been up to. ]

Honestly, Mira? That sounds like their problem and not yours. [ Since he knows where she is going with this. ] Was no more said because they didn't know? Did they not do enough research and just assume crap? Did they even give you time to adjust or did they just move onto the next without considering what it was doing to you?

I...I don't know. I was not told nor did I catch anything from my Echo that showed if another way was explored.

[Oh right, the Echo. Should explain that.]

The Echo is an ability I have that I cannot access to my knowledge here; with it, I can 'hear the whispers of the soul' by means of seeing into their memories. But it happens at random times and could not be controlled. It was one of these times that I heard the idea but no others were suggested. In fact...I daresay it seems that one was rather manipulated into secrecy.

[Like seriously, Urianger. You let a twink twist your arm like that.]

I can understand the means to protect but...it does not feel like it now. What was the purpose of keeping it hidden? To not worry? The faith that the famed Warrior of Light and Darkness can handle anything? That I'm unbeatable?

[One of them who did this is on the path of understanding her, to try and know the woman beyond the title and for that she is grateful...but this is the first time Mira has to confront it. That she can look at it and wonder if her answers were right looking back.

"No more lies."

She had told the other upon learning of his involvement. And she meant it then.]

I had a couple days rest I believe from each Lightwarden battle. Forced to but nonetheless. We were on a time limit.

[But was it enough?]

Edited 2020-02-11 00:11 (UTC)

[ All that Echo nonsense... Well Vanitas doesn't know what to make of that. He doesn't really warm up to the idea that someone could look into his memories. There are things there that are better forgotten. Chances are Mira couldn't see his missing ones anyway, right? So the only ones there would be his failures and all of the things he's been through up to this point. ]

Were you really on a time limit? A hundred years had passed and it's not like the Shard fell during that time. Even absorbing one or two would stave off the problem, right? It would have at least increased the time in which you had to address the matter.

[ Vanitas really doesn't know what's gotten into him or why he's so mad about this. People that are supposed to be friends aren't supposed to do this, right? Really he should just be laughing it off because it just proves his point about friendships in general.

Maybe it's just all these people finally rubbing off on him. Who knows. Whatever the case, Vanitas finds himself taking her hands in his, turning on the bed so that he can face Mira. ]

People only think that they are sparing you some pain when they keep the truth from you. The reality is, more often than not, they are too afraid to face it themselves or it's because there's something inside of them that enjoys their silent suffering and sacrifice. They don't even see that they are, really, shutting you out and alienating you.

[ He snorts, squeezing her hands a little ]

You're the hero and in this you're no different than that brat Sora. You give and give and give and people just expect it from you now because are you really going to tell them no? Your value is more than just being the Warrior of Whatever Element but that's something you've got to enforce too because you're only one person and you can't take it all on your shoulders.

[ Vanitas raises a brow as he asks his next question and really, he isn't doing it to mock her. ]

Or have you forgotten who you are beneath that lofty title?

Edited 2020-02-11 00:48 (UTC)

[It's funny how things play out. Vanitas's words ring something within Mira from long ago, when she had come back to Ishgard after the bloody banquet and the Scions had scattered to the winds. It was when she had to face a truth long buried, or rather, a realization she had to face.

When Fray revealed themselves to be Mira's own disquiet given voice. Her worries and fears and anger at the state of herself feeling as if she was being used by everyone else. Taking advantage of her kindness and willingness to help her fellow man and her compassion and growing furious at not being thanked for it. To be expected to constantly do it all.

"A fantastic display of willful ignorance. Wipe the slate clean. Forgive and forget! Convince yourselves that she can be controlled..." she lamented to the group before her.

"The Warrior of Light! Our Weapon of Light! It isn't too late, Mira. We...we can still be free..."

Mira thought that was behind her. She thought she would be able to tell after that whether someone saw her as a weapon or as her. She thought all her choices made up to now were her own. She can't see the Exarch enjoying such suffering as how Vani describes it; after all, he pretty much gave her the run of the Crystarium, welcomed her as a guest, has been nothing but kind to her even apologizing in the beginning. He needed help and she gave it willingly. And he had thanked her and she appreciated that. But if that was the case, why did her friend hide that from her? Carrying a burden alone is a terrible thing and she could have helped. Was there trust at all? Or was Fray right long ago and was only seen as a weapon?

She thinks this even as Vanitas takes her hands, her head tilting down to cover her eyes from view as she tries to dig deep down and process this idea. She wasn't alone in going after Emet down into the Tempest but only because the Scions followed her before she could. Did that not count? Almost every time when she faced a big battle, Mira went alone. Wasn't this different?

...or perhaps it was because of the actions and results that it changed from before.

It's hard for Mira to process this because when it happened and afterwards, all she did was go to Fortemps Manor after speaking with Tataru and slept. This is the first time where she let the idea sink in: she was taken advantage of. And it was her friends who did it. Mira remembers the talks of how she was going to die in the next Calamity and how they strived to save her but...she had no say in it, didn't she?

Perhaps it is between this and being sick that her hands begin to shake as she holds tighter to the boy's own. Mira doesn't speak a word but she didn't need to. He could feel wetness on his palm as the woman silently let herself cry in realization to all of this. She's angry at this but it's not a rage like with the Rathmores or with Rielle's mother but a sadness that even those closest to her could do this. It stings.]

[ To be fair, Vanitas hadn't really said all this to make her cry. It really hadn't been sad to make her turn on her friends either. Ironically enough, that is. Usually that is exactly what he'd be all about - quick to point out faults so that people eventually have some sort of break. To see their reaction and, well, feed off of it.

This has nothing to do with that. No, Van is legitimately angry. Maybe because is it really all that different than what he had been through in the end? After all Vanitas had been nothing more than a tool, a weapon... And then later just used as a fragment to create something else. He had thought that he really had those choices, but really he had lied to himself about that. However, he's always known that Xehanort and the Organization never cared about him.

In Mira's case though? These people are supposed to care. They call her friend and then just what? Give her no voice? It's upsetting to him in ways that he can't really articulate or understand right now. He kind of wants to hurt these "friends" of hers that took the decisions out of her hands - yes, even the ones that Van doesn't particularly have issues with. Furthermore there's a part of him that doesn't want to see it happen again.

When he feels her squeeze his hands, Vanitas knows that what he's said is finally hitting home. Something is causing her to cry and Vanitas almost regrets his timing. Not what he's said... But maybe he could have picked a better time? Her tears really unsettle him, yet another thing that's different than before. ]

Mira?

[ He squeezes back in return. Vanitas really doesn't know what to do here so he stays silent, letting his thumbs rub small circles on her arms. It works for him when Mira rubs his back so... Maybe this will help her? ]

[It's not Vanitas that made her begin to tear up; it was his words that made her reflect and look back on what happened on the First, to ask herself about important matters. What made her cry was the realization of what she had learned. Of what had happened and the matter of finally letting out those emotions.

She feels...hurt to put it lightly. Angry without a doubt but it's not in the sense of 'How dare you hurt me or keep me in the dark' but rather 'Why did you? Did you not trust me? Was I not worthy?' Things might be better on this star but does the thought stay? Is she only but a tool to be pointed at to solve the crisis? That can't be right. Her friends wouldn't think of her like that! Right?

It's strange for Vanitas to try and be the one to try and calm the woman. It makes her look up at him with reddened eyes and in one of the most rare moments, lets her emotions take over instead of thought. Her arms move from his touch but not in disgust, instead moving further in as her arms wrap around his back and hold tightly. Why yes, there is a name for this gesture and one the boy will never have experienced before probably called a hug.

Mira's face then buries itself in his shoulder as he can hear a strained sob, like she's holding back the fact that she's indeed hurting. The Warrior of Light and Darkness can bleed, can feel, can hurt just like anyone else...and now she can express it now.]

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Yeah, we going with Big ShB Spoilers

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Level 50 DRK Spoilers as well as ShB ones for the lurkers who haven't played it

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