middaeg | [Open] Come In From The Cold...

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[Open] Come In From The Cold...

Who: House Darkness Residents and OPEN
When: All of February
Where: House Darkness in the Haven
What: It's an open log!
Warnings: Shadowbringers Spoilers in some threads possible, possible talk of the Snatched Event

[If anyone knows the residents of the house, it might seem strange that such a group have selected a cozy abode for their home in the city. However, it is not to be said that they are unwelcoming (depending on who) and usually when someone comes to visit, there's always a warm cup of tea ready for them...and maybe some food to go along with it. Feels like a crime if someone doesn't get fed. And despite the hardships of the previous month, the house does welcome guests for any particular reasons whether a visit for the soul, a chat to catch up on events, or even maybe go a few rounds with the poor striking dummy in the backyard.

When you live with sword users and have stress, it gets used, ok?

It might be chilly outside but strange enough, the house itself is pretty warm. Just mind the gaelkitten and Flood running around from time to time.]

((OOC: Feel free to make a top level if you wish! Open to all!))

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[Thanks son, the pillow helps to hold onto.]

Possibly. At least there would have been a chance to try and come up with something better than what happened.

[And a few good smacks to the head.]

Do you think that it could have been done another way?

[ He's curious. ]

What was the point in taking in all that aether?

Perhaps. But it will never be known now.

[What would have changed if she had asked? Would it happen? Would a fate be different?]

Where I was before coming here...there was an imbalance between Light and Dark Aether. Too much that a great flood occurred and there became an everlasting light in the sky for nearly a hundred years. The imbalance was dangerous, to the point that if left unchecked would have destroyed the star.

[Cause a Calamity, help the ascians with Rejoining.]

We did not know what would happen when faced with a strong sin eater, called a Lightwarden, until I had defeated one and absorbed their aether. It was because of this that the night sky in certain areas was able to return. And yet there was no more said nor what would happen once I had gathered all the Lightwarden's aether. Everyone believed I could hold it in, be strong enough to do so given my title and yet...

[She couldn't in the end. It was a horrible feeling as if she let everyone down because of her limits.]

On this Shard, I take it...

[ Look, he does talk to an awfully lot of people from Mira's world, alternate timeline or otherwise. Now he really is starting to get the full picture of what these "Warriors of Light" had actually been up to. ]

Honestly, Mira? That sounds like their problem and not yours. [ Since he knows where she is going with this. ] Was no more said because they didn't know? Did they not do enough research and just assume crap? Did they even give you time to adjust or did they just move onto the next without considering what it was doing to you?

I...I don't know. I was not told nor did I catch anything from my Echo that showed if another way was explored.

[Oh right, the Echo. Should explain that.]

The Echo is an ability I have that I cannot access to my knowledge here; with it, I can 'hear the whispers of the soul' by means of seeing into their memories. But it happens at random times and could not be controlled. It was one of these times that I heard the idea but no others were suggested. In fact...I daresay it seems that one was rather manipulated into secrecy.

[Like seriously, Urianger. You let a twink twist your arm like that.]

I can understand the means to protect but...it does not feel like it now. What was the purpose of keeping it hidden? To not worry? The faith that the famed Warrior of Light and Darkness can handle anything? That I'm unbeatable?

[One of them who did this is on the path of understanding her, to try and know the woman beyond the title and for that she is grateful...but this is the first time Mira has to confront it. That she can look at it and wonder if her answers were right looking back.

"No more lies."

She had told the other upon learning of his involvement. And she meant it then.]

I had a couple days rest I believe from each Lightwarden battle. Forced to but nonetheless. We were on a time limit.

[But was it enough?]

Edited 2020-02-11 00:11 (UTC)

[ All that Echo nonsense... Well Vanitas doesn't know what to make of that. He doesn't really warm up to the idea that someone could look into his memories. There are things there that are better forgotten. Chances are Mira couldn't see his missing ones anyway, right? So the only ones there would be his failures and all of the things he's been through up to this point. ]

Were you really on a time limit? A hundred years had passed and it's not like the Shard fell during that time. Even absorbing one or two would stave off the problem, right? It would have at least increased the time in which you had to address the matter.

[ Vanitas really doesn't know what's gotten into him or why he's so mad about this. People that are supposed to be friends aren't supposed to do this, right? Really he should just be laughing it off because it just proves his point about friendships in general.

Maybe it's just all these people finally rubbing off on him. Who knows. Whatever the case, Vanitas finds himself taking her hands in his, turning on the bed so that he can face Mira. ]

People only think that they are sparing you some pain when they keep the truth from you. The reality is, more often than not, they are too afraid to face it themselves or it's because there's something inside of them that enjoys their silent suffering and sacrifice. They don't even see that they are, really, shutting you out and alienating you.

[ He snorts, squeezing her hands a little ]

You're the hero and in this you're no different than that brat Sora. You give and give and give and people just expect it from you now because are you really going to tell them no? Your value is more than just being the Warrior of Whatever Element but that's something you've got to enforce too because you're only one person and you can't take it all on your shoulders.

[ Vanitas raises a brow as he asks his next question and really, he isn't doing it to mock her. ]

Or have you forgotten who you are beneath that lofty title?

Edited 2020-02-11 00:48 (UTC)

[It's funny how things play out. Vanitas's words ring something within Mira from long ago, when she had come back to Ishgard after the bloody banquet and the Scions had scattered to the winds. It was when she had to face a truth long buried, or rather, a realization she had to face.

When Fray revealed themselves to be Mira's own disquiet given voice. Her worries and fears and anger at the state of herself feeling as if she was being used by everyone else. Taking advantage of her kindness and willingness to help her fellow man and her compassion and growing furious at not being thanked for it. To be expected to constantly do it all.

"A fantastic display of willful ignorance. Wipe the slate clean. Forgive and forget! Convince yourselves that she can be controlled..." she lamented to the group before her.

"The Warrior of Light! Our Weapon of Light! It isn't too late, Mira. We...we can still be free..."

Mira thought that was behind her. She thought she would be able to tell after that whether someone saw her as a weapon or as her. She thought all her choices made up to now were her own. She can't see the Exarch enjoying such suffering as how Vani describes it; after all, he pretty much gave her the run of the Crystarium, welcomed her as a guest, has been nothing but kind to her even apologizing in the beginning. He needed help and she gave it willingly. And he had thanked her and she appreciated that. But if that was the case, why did her friend hide that from her? Carrying a burden alone is a terrible thing and she could have helped. Was there trust at all? Or was Fray right long ago and was only seen as a weapon?

She thinks this even as Vanitas takes her hands, her head tilting down to cover her eyes from view as she tries to dig deep down and process this idea. She wasn't alone in going after Emet down into the Tempest but only because the Scions followed her before she could. Did that not count? Almost every time when she faced a big battle, Mira went alone. Wasn't this different?

...or perhaps it was because of the actions and results that it changed from before.

It's hard for Mira to process this because when it happened and afterwards, all she did was go to Fortemps Manor after speaking with Tataru and slept. This is the first time where she let the idea sink in: she was taken advantage of. And it was her friends who did it. Mira remembers the talks of how she was going to die in the next Calamity and how they strived to save her but...she had no say in it, didn't she?

Perhaps it is between this and being sick that her hands begin to shake as she holds tighter to the boy's own. Mira doesn't speak a word but she didn't need to. He could feel wetness on his palm as the woman silently let herself cry in realization to all of this. She's angry at this but it's not a rage like with the Rathmores or with Rielle's mother but a sadness that even those closest to her could do this. It stings.]

[ To be fair, Vanitas hadn't really said all this to make her cry. It really hadn't been sad to make her turn on her friends either. Ironically enough, that is. Usually that is exactly what he'd be all about - quick to point out faults so that people eventually have some sort of break. To see their reaction and, well, feed off of it.

This has nothing to do with that. No, Van is legitimately angry. Maybe because is it really all that different than what he had been through in the end? After all Vanitas had been nothing more than a tool, a weapon... And then later just used as a fragment to create something else. He had thought that he really had those choices, but really he had lied to himself about that. However, he's always known that Xehanort and the Organization never cared about him.

In Mira's case though? These people are supposed to care. They call her friend and then just what? Give her no voice? It's upsetting to him in ways that he can't really articulate or understand right now. He kind of wants to hurt these "friends" of hers that took the decisions out of her hands - yes, even the ones that Van doesn't particularly have issues with. Furthermore there's a part of him that doesn't want to see it happen again.

When he feels her squeeze his hands, Vanitas knows that what he's said is finally hitting home. Something is causing her to cry and Vanitas almost regrets his timing. Not what he's said... But maybe he could have picked a better time? Her tears really unsettle him, yet another thing that's different than before. ]

Mira?

[ He squeezes back in return. Vanitas really doesn't know what to do here so he stays silent, letting his thumbs rub small circles on her arms. It works for him when Mira rubs his back so... Maybe this will help her? ]

[It's not Vanitas that made her begin to tear up; it was his words that made her reflect and look back on what happened on the First, to ask herself about important matters. What made her cry was the realization of what she had learned. Of what had happened and the matter of finally letting out those emotions.

She feels...hurt to put it lightly. Angry without a doubt but it's not in the sense of 'How dare you hurt me or keep me in the dark' but rather 'Why did you? Did you not trust me? Was I not worthy?' Things might be better on this star but does the thought stay? Is she only but a tool to be pointed at to solve the crisis? That can't be right. Her friends wouldn't think of her like that! Right?

It's strange for Vanitas to try and be the one to try and calm the woman. It makes her look up at him with reddened eyes and in one of the most rare moments, lets her emotions take over instead of thought. Her arms move from his touch but not in disgust, instead moving further in as her arms wrap around his back and hold tightly. Why yes, there is a name for this gesture and one the boy will never have experienced before probably called a hug.

Mira's face then buries itself in his shoulder as he can hear a strained sob, like she's holding back the fact that she's indeed hurting. The Warrior of Light and Darkness can bleed, can feel, can hurt just like anyone else...and now she can express it now.]

[ It's actually very alarming to see Mira in this state. Just last month she had been pure rage and had been absolutely fearless. Driven. Almost obsessed. The Mira that Vanitas is used to seeing is sassy and sometimes downright playful. Just because Van thinks she needs to chill out on all of duties she thinks she has to do doesn't mean that he can't appreciate the fact that Mira works hard. So hard. Too hard.

So seeing her like this, with her eyes swollen a bit and so red? So vulnerable? It is a little jarring, yes. Mira's seen him like this, of course, at what he considers to be at his worst. Whatever he's feeling right now, he doesn't like it. Makes his gut sink and there's something tugging at inside him.

What is with all these feelings?

Anyway... Vanitas is about to open his mouth to say something. Anything, really, to get her to stop looking at him like that. But then Mira surprises Van by reaching out for him. She pulls him in and hugs him. Vanitas is, without a doubt, receiving the first true embrace he's ever had in his life. ]

[ Of course his initial reaction is to tense up. To struggle. Vanitas doesn't know what's going on because he's never experienced this. Ever. The reason he doesn't, of course, is because he knows that Mira won't hurt him. Mira's never put her hands on him in any way that's caused an injury or harmed him.

Vanitas doesn't really know what to do though either. She's crying into his shoulder and holding onto him like a lifeline. ...At the same time? Vanitas finds that he feels warm. It's likely the wrong time to focus on that, but he can't help it. He's felt it before, something soft and fluttering.

He draws his attention back to Mira and what she probably needs. Ever so slowly, Vanitas draws his hands up. After all you can't give a hug without receiving one. ]

[There's a lot going on and something both are learning from this encounter. But in between the sobbing, Mira notices that Vanitas is...returning this? He is hugging back, right? It's not a fever dream is it?]

'm sorry.

[Muffled but Mira feels bad by doing this. Doesn't seem fair to him now does it?]

[ No fever dream here. Vanitas really is hugging Mira - much to the surprise of them both. And it doesn't even feel like a horrible thing. ]

Why? There's nothing for you to be sorry about.

[Hugs are a good thing usually. Crying on the other hand...a Warrior shouldn't do that and be strong for others. But here...she can't stop.]

Here I am telling you of my burdens. I shouldn't be doing that of you. It doesn't feel fair...or right of me.

[Admitting them to herself is different than to another.]

[ Vanitas huffs, half rolls his eyes. ]

Haven't I already told you some of mine? Mira, you pretty much deal with me at my worse way too often for you to worry about something like this.

I'm...just not used to doing this.

[Whatever this is. Actually feeling an emotion? No, she feels them all the time. Determination to do tge right thing even if it's not within the laws. Fierceness for those she cares for as seen on the raid on the Rathmore estate. Compassion to show those but not to smother. But for her?

She recalls the hug G'raha gave her and spoke those words, about how he would do anything for her. Did this one do what hers did?]

I'm usually the one who tries to be the one who seems to be put together. What a fool I've been.

That makes two of us then, doesn't it?

[ Two people no used to doing "this" that is. Vanitas actually doing something close to comforting someone. Mira actually letting go. ]

I mean yeah, you've been a little foolish. Though I'm not really one to talk either.

The pair of us, hmm?

[It's said with a chuckle even with her tears falling down but there's...less.]

Like mother, like son I suppose.

[It's a bit scary to think on and with all the teasing...well, hard to not make the connection now.]

[ Vanitas can't help himself. There's a little snort of amusement. Yeah... All that teasing. ]

Just one happy family of idiots that are varying degrees of broken.

[ Either literally or metaphorically, really. ]

We seem to be aren't we?

[It's strange...she doesn't feel like crying so much anymore. Was this helping? It's possible.]

[ Later, on his own, he'll probably be surprised at himself. And, well, he is pretty sure that this actually means that Mira is... More than just some ally. It will be near impossible to keep lying to himself about that. ]

Can you do me a favor though, Mira?

A favor? What is it?

[This time, she pulls herself off enough so she can actually look at the other, eye to eye. It sounds important.]

Can you start thinking about yourself a little more? If I have to start thinking of myself as a person and not some tool or weapon... You do too.

[ It's only fair, right? ]

...only fair, is it not? Did I not speak of similar before this?

[Words coming to bite her, huh.]

I'll try to.

You probably did.

[ Huffs. ]

I suppose "trying" is the best that I can expect.

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inlikethebrume - 2020-02-16 23:04 (UTC) - Expand

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darkcharge - 2020-02-17 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

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[Open] Come In From The Cold...

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Level 50 DRK Spoilers as well as ShB ones for the lurkers who haven't played it

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