middaeg | One Brings Shadow, One Brings the Light

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One Brings Shadow, One Brings the Light

Who: K'rihnn Tia and all of you!
When: February 1st - 13th
Where: Aefenglom's library, tea shop, and somewhere in the city proper.
What: K'rihnn's trying to get out more, and hopefully expand his friend circle from being extremely tiny to something... decent? Maybe? Info on K'rihnn's current changes as a Monster.
Warnings: Old injuries, major spoilers for Shadowbringers in marked top levels! Others will be added to the subject line as needed.

A: It’s Too Tall!

[K’rihnn is well enough to venture outside of the house unattended, though he still has to be careful to not push himself too hard. And to be more careful of his surroundings, as his right eye is still covered with gauze. At this time, he can be found in either the library or the local tea shop. In either scenario, the 5-foot tall Dragon / Miqo’te is facing down his greatest enemy yet. An enemy he hasn’t ever been able to conquer.

The top shelf.

He sighs and looks around. Once he sees someone who could maybe help him out, the purple-haired Miqo’te quietly and shyly asks:]

U-um… e-excuse me… do you have a moment…?

B:

[With Valentione’s Day coming up rather quickly, he decides he needs to make a stop at a local chocolatiering place. K’rihnn’s in need of equipment so that he can make chocolate at home, and he especially needs molds for cute shapes. Unfortunately, his load is a little heavier than he can carry. The purple-haired Miqo’te tries to make his way back on his own, but he needs to rest almost a quarter of the way towards home.

K’rihnn sits at a bench and tries to catch his breath, rubbing at his chest to help ease the pain some. This… is definitely going to be a long trek back.

On seeing that he’s not alone, he can’t help apologizing.]

Ah… m-my apologies if I’ve disturbed you….

C: Wildcard

[Would you rather have a different starter? Go ahead and throw something at me! Common haunts tend to be the library, patrolling the city, and various tea or music shops.]

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[K’rihnn’s been doing his best to help Rose with her recovery in his own way, limited though it may be. He’s just not as close to her, and he’s scared he’ll only make it worse or slow her recovery. Since getting better enough to bake something simple, like cakes and muffins, the timid tia has tried his best to leave some of those outside of Rose’s door for her. K’rihnn can only hope that these are comforting to the Keeper.

Today is no different in that respect. K’rihnn is mixing together batter for a batch of chocolate chip muffins. He has to pause after pouring in the final ingredient, rubbing his chest in pain. The petit Miqo’te takes several deep breaths before quickly finishing the batter, and trying to pour some into the muffin pans. If he can just get these into the oven, K’rihnn can lie down and rest until they’re finished.

It’s worth the pain, though. As long as it helps Rose and the Exarch, it’s worth everything.]

[This… has been building up for far longer than K’rihnn’s been in Aefenglom. Yet, there’s no denying that certain moments here have contributed to speeding up his breaking point. A point he’s been trying to hold back since his conversation with the Exarch after the Masquerade in Noveuer. After his kidnapping, the subsequent argument he had with Mira, and all the little moments between Noveuer and now, the petit Miqo’te realizes that it’s only a matter of time before he just can’t anymore.

It’s when he’s sitting up in bed, the Exarch gone to work at the herbalist’s shop, that it finally creeps up on him. K’rihnn’s eye is still bandaged, though it should come off soon. He’s looking forward to that, at least. One less thing for people to stare at. As he looks out the window, the purple-haired Miqo’te can’t help feeling a disturbing sense of deja vu at the whole situation. Even his own thoughts feel horribly familiar, as though he’s thought the same thing before in almost the same situation. Dread seeps into his heart, though he’s not sure why. K’rihnn’s fairly certain that he’s in absolutely no danger at the moment.

The moment it hits him why that might be, it’s too late. There’s an abrupt tightness in his chest and he feels like he’s struggling to breathe. Clutching his chest, he feels like he’s dying. Enough of him is cognizant enough of what’s going on to try clamping down on any of this leaking to his Bonds, though he’s not too sure how effective that is right now. K’rihnn can only pray that Emet-Selch and the Exarch can’t feel his panic attack.

It’s been 11 or 12 years since he’s had a panic attack, and K’rihnn is desperately trying to remember the steps he needs to take. The best he can do right now is to keep breathing, even if part of him wanted to curl up into a small, tight ball and pray that his death is quick.

K’rihnn hates this, but, above all, he hates himself and the fact that standing up for himself only drives people away.]

Edited 2020-02-01 09:41 (UTC)

[K'rihnn decides that he wants to see how Emet-Selch is doing in person rather than hearsay from Mira. He leaves a message for the Ascian via watch, asking if the man would like to visit or if the Miqo'te should make the visit himself. Either way, he spends his time waiting by making some sandwiches. This, at least, he can stop in the middle if Emet-Selch sends him a reply or just walks through the door like he owns the place.

He feels bad that he hasn't been able to make an in-person call to his Bonded before now. It can't be helped, though. Not when both of them have been badly injured after their kidnapping.]

[Emet-Selch hadn't exactly been avoiding contacting his fellow captives; he knew from Mira that Rose and K'rihnn had survived, were- not 'fine', none of them were fine, but alive and healing. But he'd lacked both the strength and the motivation to trek over to see them, or even leave the house, for that matter. And asking of them over the watch had seemed... impersonal. What could you even say over text? He wasn't the sort for meaningless pleasantries or well-wishes, and anything serious was better done in person.

So the days had passed, and he'd said nothing at all.

But restlessness was beginning to mix with lethargy; not the most enjoyable of combinations. So the invitation from K'rihnn was something of a blessing. An excuse to leave the house. Though the apathetic part of him was still tempted to tell the miqo'te to make the journey himself, that would do nothing to help the Ascian's own need for some change in scenery.

So he doesn't reply, he just turns up some time later, as is his wont, as if everything were normal. Thank Zodiark for teleportation magic; if he'd had to walk, he might've had K'rihnn come over anyway, restlessness be damned.

Coming in through the front door without knocking, Emet-Selch doesn't look too terribly injured at this point. Though his deliberate pace can't quite mask a limp, his clothes are able to cover any scars. And while a number of things still ached, he could at least pretend otherwise. One thing he couldn't hide, of course, is his right eye; clouded over, with a couple of new scars around it, it's clearly blind.

Not calling out to K'rihnn, he assumes the sound of the door will alert him to his presence soon enough. And it's in that moment that he has to push back the irrational impulse to turn back the way he came and just leave, to put this small reunion off indefinitely. The last time he'd seen the miqo'te, neither of them had been in... the best of conditions. It was a surreal memory, and much like the rest of those last days, he couldn't remember it very clearly. Probably for the best, but- it was strangely uncomfortable standing there now, in a way that had nothing to do with his injuries.]

[Rose isn’t close to K’rihnn, but she’s trying to change that. It’s clear the other miqo’te isn’t comfortable around her, and she isn’t entirely sure why. She may be intimidating, but she doesn’t bite. Most of the time, anyway.]

[When the snacks begin appearing, it doesn’t take long for her to find the culprit. Aymeric is long gone, and the Exarch is busy helping those he can. That means the only person who could possibly be baking is K’rihnn, who should be resting.]

[She waits until she’s having a good day, and then goes downstairs. Her arms are crossed, and there’s a frown on her face. Someone isn’t happy.]

What do you think you’re doing?

[K'rihnn yelps as he's startled by Rose's sudden presence. The bowl of batter almost goes flying, but he's luckily able to keep a firm hold on it. He sighs with a frown of his own, accidentally overfilling the current muffin lining he's working on. The purple-haired Miqo'te quickly shifts to fill a different one while he answers Rose's question.]

Ah... baking muffins.

[He can take a good guess as to why she's unhappy....]

'Tis simple enough to handle without too much effort, generally.

[In K’rihnn’s defense, Rose walked into this one. She should probably have used more caution, considering what both of them had been through. But Rose isn’t known for her forethought, nor is she known for her warm demeanor.]

If it’s such a simple matter, then there should be no issue with me taking over.

[She gently taps K’rihnn out of the way, taking over. Sure, her last kitchen venture ended in fire, but this can’t be too hard, right?]

Sit.

[K'rihnn scoots out of the way and hands the bowl over to her once he's tapped. He knows better than to argue.]

Ah... a-alright. You just need to fill each one up to about halfway, and then put them in the oven.

[That said, the purple-haired Seeker goes to sit at the table. His tail twitches nervously.]

Um... thank you, Rose.

[Rose nods, as if she understands, and then turns around to get to work. From the sounds that she’s making, it’s going poorly. But, it can’t be that bad, surely?]

Cursed things...

[It’s fine. Probably. She sighs.]

For what? This hardly seems like a task worth thanking somebody for.

[ Yuma is still getting his bearings in this place, but he's comfortable enough to start exploring town a bit more. Monsters and people living together is...still weird. That's going to take a while to get used to, so he does his best to just take it in stride and try not to stare too much.

Granted, he's apparently a monster himself, but that's a whole different mess to unpack. He doesn't feel any different, and he can't access the Shining Dragon's power. So he's not sure he understands.

He ends up going to a tea shop, mostly just to look around, when he hears a timid voice behind him. ]

Sure, what-

[ Yuma straightens a bit, eyes widening in surprise. OH. Oh, hey, that. That sure is a monster. Hi there. At least it's shorter than him? By a little bit? ]

Uh... D-Do you need something?

[K'rihnn can see that this guy has to be a new arrival purely because of his reaction to the Miqo'te's appearance. He winces a little, but takes it in relative stride.]

S-sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

[His furry cat tail swishes nervously.]

Ah... I need help reaching a couple of those tea tins up there.

[He points up at the top shelf to some sort of oolong tea and a chocolate strawberry flavored tea of some kind.]

Do, uh... do you think you can help me with that...?

[ Ah... Yuma catches that wince, and he can't help but feel a bit bad. He really hopes he hasn't hurt this guy's feelings, even if he was a bit surprised. He shakes his head. ]

N-No, it's alright. I'm sorry.

[ He's not really sure what to make of this, but it'd be rude to ask at this point. It's still difficult for someone still so unused to his new circumstances, but Yuma does his best to not dwell on any of the strange features this person has. Surely he'll get used to it eventually, but for now he's still new to this place.

He follows K'rihnn's gesture to the boxes of tea on the top shelf. ]

Sure, just a second. [ Yuma's a bit tall for his age, so aside from a little stretching, he's able to reach them without a problem. Oolong and chocolate strawberry... There we go! One of each. He hands them to K'rihnn, offering him a soft smile. ] Here you go. Were these the ones you wanted?

[The Exarch had been minding his business, working and sorting and trimming and watering the plants. But at some point during the day, his Bond felt... uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable-- panicked, even. And after the events of last month, and with the both of them still healing, he isn't going to take chances. He concentrates and tries to send feelings of love back at K'rihnn through the Bond, but he isn't sure it's working.

He lets the shopowner know that he needs to head home early because his Bonded is having some kind of emergency. Though he's exhausted to hell he knows it'll be worse if he runs the whole way home, so he teleports onto the street and hurries inside the house instead.]

Rihnn? Rihnn! I'm here!

[He drops his things by the door and does a cursory check of the common area, then he goes for the bedroom they've mostly chosen to stay in for the most part. It was G'raha's originally, but he's ceased counting what belongs to whom.]

Rihnn—

[He glances around for his Bonded, half expecting him to be under the bed again, though his anxious mind also supplies awful images of being too late and finding someone else standing over him. K'rihnn had been taken from him once already.]

[It's a rare moment in which K'rihnn doesn't notice his Bonded trying to send certain emotions to him. His mind is completely focused on getting his panic and breathing under control.

Fortunately for everyone involved, the purple-haired Miqo'te hasn't even attempted to move from his spot on their bed. Even still, the younger tia looks like he's having a heart-attack. He's clutching his chest and almost struggling to breathe from the looks of it. A bit of his emotional state leaks into the Bond with G'raha: panic, feeling as though he's dying, shame... so much shame.

He can't really speak at the moment. The best K'rihnn can do to acknowledge G'raha's presence is his ears flicking when he hears his familiar name.]

[Naturally, he assumes K'rihnn is having a heart attack. He circles his arms around his Bonded and focuses, calling a calming soft green-blue magic to settle into K'rihnn's skin and heal any lingering ills.]

Rihnn.

[So much shame. So much panic. He can't imagine what the other Miqo'te is shamed or panicked about. In the wake of the spell, he realizes it might be more of an emotional and physical response than an injury, so he tucks K'rihnn's face into his shoulder and holds him warmly, but firmly. He begins to rock back and forth with his knees on the bed, and in his soft voice, he begins to sing a lullaby.]

[The arms circling around him help, if only because he recognizes that it's G'raha holding him. K'rihnn feels that soothing light enter his body, but it does nothing to help with his panic attack.

When the Exarch moves to have K'rihnn's face tucked into his shoulder, the petit Seeker curls up into his lap. He presses himself tight against the redhead, and tries to take deep breaths as his lover sings to him. The younger tia squeezes his eyes shut and grips at G'raha's shirt, feeling tears start to trickle down his cheeks. Eventually, his breathing evens out and the panic fades, but the shame... it's powerful. Powerful enough to unearth a memory K'rihnn would much rather forget, and, unfortunately, it drags G'raha down into sharing that memory, too.

At first, there are flashes of a green-haired tia, older by several years judging by his face and the sheer amount of battle scars on his body. Each memory is of him jeering at K'rihnn, trying to provoke the 15-year-old into a fight. Finally, the memory settles on their confrontation as the situation comes to a head. The older man, K'celah Tia, sneers at him with disdain.

"So, the skittish kitten is finally showing his claws, is he? Hah! Do you see the runt shaking?"

K'rihnn's mouth feels dry, and he absolutely is trembling as he grips his axe in his hands. How can he not be afraid of facing against a warrior with much more experience than him? Yet... K'rihnn promised his friends that he'd try to stick up for himself, especially with K'celah getting more physical with his taunts in response to the younger tia ignoring him.

K'celah sighs and looks bored as he unsheathes his sword.

"Let's put him out of his misery."

The battle is a relative blur, but the result is painfully clear. K'rihnn kneels on the ground, panting, and he's been disarmed. His axe has been flung off far to the side, and he's clearly at K'celah's mercy. He looks up at the older tia, not liking the look in his blue eyes.

"Let this be a sign of your weakness as a tia and how unfitting you are if you would be a nunh. Nobody will ever think you strong or pretty after today."

Then, K'celah brings his blade down on K'rihnn's eye, and he screams in agony. The rest melts to black and then fades in to the purple-haired teenager looking out a window, his right eye bandaged with gauze. His gaze is unsettlingly empty and lost, and the memory fades entirely after this scene.

K'rihnn chokes on a whimper as tears fall more heavily on reliving the experience. It feels as if his shame and self-hatred are serrated daggers being driven into his chest, and then cruelly twisted to do as much pain and damage to him as possible. He buries his face into G'raha's chest, voice shaking from the effort to not sob.]

I-I'm... I'm s-s-sorry f-for pushing you... a-and hurting you, and t-t-talking back at you, Raha...! Please... p-please don't leave me alone....

[That sure is quite the memory. He hasn't experienced this before, not being a Warrior of Light himself, but the memory rocks him whether he likes it or not. He holds K'rihnn tightly as it plays out before his eyes. The fear, the pain, the shame-- he can feel it all, and it cuts through his lullaby.

When he's finally released from it, he shivers himself, and draws his warmer fingers through his Bonded's hair.]

You have done nothing wrong, Rihnn. Nothing. [He pets those ears, too.] But if it hurts you should not keep it inside you. Scream, wail, whatever you need to. I am here, and I am not going anywhere, not even if you protest or push me away.

[He follows his fingers through K'rihnn's hair with kisses instead, a dozen of them.]

I promise.

[K'rihnn clings to G'raha when he's pulled closer. He shudders and gives a shaky sob as he feels fingers going through his hair and petting his ears. The promise coupled with those kisses are enough of a push for the petit tia. K'rihnn can't hold back a wail even if he wanted to, mourning the part of him that was taken away from him that day. Pieces of his heart broken and scattered as people he'd considered his close friends distanced themselves from him, leaving him alone to deal with the aftermath. Leaving him alone to pick up the fragments of his heart, while his mother was helpless in figuring out what to do for her broken son.

Eleven years of pent-up pain and anguish come flooding out of him like a broken dam.

Eventually, after what feels like an eternity, the purple-haired Warrior can't cry or wail anymore. His breathing is a bit shuddering, and he hiccups softly. Yet, his grip on G'raha is much more relaxed as he tries to get his breathing back under control.]

S... s-sorry, Raha. [Gods, his voice sounds awful and he just can't stop apologizing.] I just... I'm sorry....

[K'rihnn is well and truly broken. But he isn't ruined, not really. G'raha is patient, soon resuming that lullaby he'd been half humming, half singing before. He holds K'rihnn and kisses his ears, encouraging him to let it all out. And when he's done, when the torrent has passed, he's still as calm and collected and affectionate in the Bond as always.]

You need not apologize. [Did K'rihnn not do the same for him?] There is nothing to forgive, my heart.

[He pulls a handkerchief out of a pocket somewhere-- ever the doter-- and gently wipes at K'rihnn's cheeks.]

Do you feel better?

Edited 2020-02-02 09:42 (UTC)

[K'rihnn isn't sure what he would've done or experienced if G'raha hadn't been here for this. Maybe he would've kept on hurting, keeping it close to himself instead of letting the pain out for fear of pushing the Exarch away. He's grateful beyond imagining that he isn't alone, and that the redhead is as soothing and calming a presence as ever.

The younger Seeker sniffs again, and allows himself to be doted on this time. He's emotionally drained. Plus... K'rihnn recognizes that he desperately needs that tenderness right now.]

M-much... 'twas... 11 years since I've thought about it, or had a panic attack....

[He looks up at his lover with red-rimmed eyes. K'rihnn's certain he looks like a miserable wreck, but... he doesn't mind so much with G'raha. Not when it's finally clicking into place that the redhead isn't leaving him. The Exarch is keeping his promise, even after seeing K'rihnn at his absolute lowest.]

I j-just... I couldn't talk about it. There was so much pain, and... and after all of that... what few friends I made in my tribe....

[K'rihnn shakes his head, curling up against his lover into a tighter ball.]

The only one I had left was my mother, in the end. K'celah never answered for what he did, even after all this time, and... my friends simply distanced themselves from me.

'Tis no small relief to hear that.

[He continues gently wiping away those tears and any snot, patient beyond belief. He only stops so he can stroke beneath K'rihnn's chin, helping to tilt his head up slightly.]

What you suffered was more than humiliation—it was trauma. It is not something I would be able to share casually, were I in your position. I find it only logical that such a painful memory would be too much to bear, tangled as it is with other memories of your childhood...

[He leaves a tiny kiss on K'rihnn's nose.]

They were not your friends, I think, if they were so quick to leave you.

[That does indeed look like a lot to carry, and Thancred looks worried before he makes an attempt to seem his regular self, tail feathers flicking lightly.]

Not at all. In fact- I believe I'm glad to have run into you. Can I offer you a hand?

[He can offer company, as well as an extra pair of hands, after all.]

[A couple stray tears leak from his eyes at how gentle and patient G'raha's being with him. K'rihnn starts to purr, gentle yet a little weak, on feeling fingers stroking under his chin. He lets the older Seeker tilt his head up, his good eye looking into ruby red. The kiss to his nose gets a soft squeak, but... it's so appreciated.

Gods, but it's no small relief to hear someone else say what he's suspected all these years. That the event had been trauma rather than pure humiliation. K'rihnn swallows back more tears, mostly because shedding any more is proving to be very painful physically.]

Well... if it had to come out s-somehow... I'm glad it was with you.

[His ears have been pinned this entire time, but they're starting to relax back into their normal position. The purple-haired tia sits up a little better in G'raha's lap so that he can kiss the corner of his mouth. At least his voice is getting less shaky, but it's still quiet as he talks about all of this.]

I can't... blame them, entirely. I'm sure no small few of them wanted nothing to do with me after a defeat like that, but... K'celah... was vindictive. I've suspected for years that he may have threatened or scared them into distancing themselves from me. I... I can't blame them for wanting to protect themselves.

[Emet-Selch is certainly correct in thinking that the sound of the door opening is enough of an announcement. K'rihnn finishes the sandwich he's making and puts it on the platter. He carries it out to where he meets the Ascian, surreptitiously taking in what healing injuries he can see on his Bonded.

Once a healer, always a healer.

Still, it's not like his own injuries are apparent. Since the last time Emet-Selch saw him, he now has gauze that goes along the full length of his scar and covers his right eye. There's a certain stiffness to his wings and the way he keeps his torso from moving too much. Despite all that, he smiles gently at the taller man.]

Hello, Hades. I made some sandwiches, if... you feel hungry enough for them.

[K'rihnn nods over at the couch.]

We can take a seat over there, if you like.

[K'rihnn is... a little concerned when she says that. Oh, dear. Whatever happens, he'll eat them himself with all the courage and stubbornness of any Warrior of Light.

He fidgets with his hair at the question.]

Cooking and baking are... important to me. It helps to center myself, and bond with people. So... to me, the help is worthy of thanks.

Edited 2020-02-03 09:05 (UTC)

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Page 1 of 3

One Brings Shadow, One Brings the Light

Closed: Rose

Closed: Crystal Exarch (MAJOR SHADOWBRINGERS SPOILERS)

Closed: Emet-Selch (MAJOR SHADOWBRINGERS SPOILERS)

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/sneaks in a tag before i have to go

/sneaks in a tag before session

that's a big mood

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