middaeg | One Brings Shadow, One Brings the Light

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One Brings Shadow, One Brings the Light

Who: K'rihnn Tia and all of you!
When: February 1st - 13th
Where: Aefenglom's library, tea shop, and somewhere in the city proper.
What: K'rihnn's trying to get out more, and hopefully expand his friend circle from being extremely tiny to something... decent? Maybe? Info on K'rihnn's current changes as a Monster.
Warnings: Old injuries, major spoilers for Shadowbringers in marked top levels! Others will be added to the subject line as needed.

A: It’s Too Tall!

[K’rihnn is well enough to venture outside of the house unattended, though he still has to be careful to not push himself too hard. And to be more careful of his surroundings, as his right eye is still covered with gauze. At this time, he can be found in either the library or the local tea shop. In either scenario, the 5-foot tall Dragon / Miqo’te is facing down his greatest enemy yet. An enemy he hasn’t ever been able to conquer.

The top shelf.

He sighs and looks around. Once he sees someone who could maybe help him out, the purple-haired Miqo’te quietly and shyly asks:]

U-um… e-excuse me… do you have a moment…?

B:

[With Valentione’s Day coming up rather quickly, he decides he needs to make a stop at a local chocolatiering place. K’rihnn’s in need of equipment so that he can make chocolate at home, and he especially needs molds for cute shapes. Unfortunately, his load is a little heavier than he can carry. The purple-haired Miqo’te tries to make his way back on his own, but he needs to rest almost a quarter of the way towards home.

K’rihnn sits at a bench and tries to catch his breath, rubbing at his chest to help ease the pain some. This… is definitely going to be a long trek back.

On seeing that he’s not alone, he can’t help apologizing.]

Ah… m-my apologies if I’ve disturbed you….

C: Wildcard

[Would you rather have a different starter? Go ahead and throw something at me! Common haunts tend to be the library, patrolling the city, and various tea or music shops.]

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[Naturally, he assumes K'rihnn is having a heart attack. He circles his arms around his Bonded and focuses, calling a calming soft green-blue magic to settle into K'rihnn's skin and heal any lingering ills.]

Rihnn.

[So much shame. So much panic. He can't imagine what the other Miqo'te is shamed or panicked about. In the wake of the spell, he realizes it might be more of an emotional and physical response than an injury, so he tucks K'rihnn's face into his shoulder and holds him warmly, but firmly. He begins to rock back and forth with his knees on the bed, and in his soft voice, he begins to sing a lullaby.]

[The arms circling around him help, if only because he recognizes that it's G'raha holding him. K'rihnn feels that soothing light enter his body, but it does nothing to help with his panic attack.

When the Exarch moves to have K'rihnn's face tucked into his shoulder, the petit Seeker curls up into his lap. He presses himself tight against the redhead, and tries to take deep breaths as his lover sings to him. The younger tia squeezes his eyes shut and grips at G'raha's shirt, feeling tears start to trickle down his cheeks. Eventually, his breathing evens out and the panic fades, but the shame... it's powerful. Powerful enough to unearth a memory K'rihnn would much rather forget, and, unfortunately, it drags G'raha down into sharing that memory, too.

At first, there are flashes of a green-haired tia, older by several years judging by his face and the sheer amount of battle scars on his body. Each memory is of him jeering at K'rihnn, trying to provoke the 15-year-old into a fight. Finally, the memory settles on their confrontation as the situation comes to a head. The older man, K'celah Tia, sneers at him with disdain.

"So, the skittish kitten is finally showing his claws, is he? Hah! Do you see the runt shaking?"

K'rihnn's mouth feels dry, and he absolutely is trembling as he grips his axe in his hands. How can he not be afraid of facing against a warrior with much more experience than him? Yet... K'rihnn promised his friends that he'd try to stick up for himself, especially with K'celah getting more physical with his taunts in response to the younger tia ignoring him.

K'celah sighs and looks bored as he unsheathes his sword.

"Let's put him out of his misery."

The battle is a relative blur, but the result is painfully clear. K'rihnn kneels on the ground, panting, and he's been disarmed. His axe has been flung off far to the side, and he's clearly at K'celah's mercy. He looks up at the older tia, not liking the look in his blue eyes.

"Let this be a sign of your weakness as a tia and how unfitting you are if you would be a nunh. Nobody will ever think you strong or pretty after today."

Then, K'celah brings his blade down on K'rihnn's eye, and he screams in agony. The rest melts to black and then fades in to the purple-haired teenager looking out a window, his right eye bandaged with gauze. His gaze is unsettlingly empty and lost, and the memory fades entirely after this scene.

K'rihnn chokes on a whimper as tears fall more heavily on reliving the experience. It feels as if his shame and self-hatred are serrated daggers being driven into his chest, and then cruelly twisted to do as much pain and damage to him as possible. He buries his face into G'raha's chest, voice shaking from the effort to not sob.]

I-I'm... I'm s-s-sorry f-for pushing you... a-and hurting you, and t-t-talking back at you, Raha...! Please... p-please don't leave me alone....

[That sure is quite the memory. He hasn't experienced this before, not being a Warrior of Light himself, but the memory rocks him whether he likes it or not. He holds K'rihnn tightly as it plays out before his eyes. The fear, the pain, the shame-- he can feel it all, and it cuts through his lullaby.

When he's finally released from it, he shivers himself, and draws his warmer fingers through his Bonded's hair.]

You have done nothing wrong, Rihnn. Nothing. [He pets those ears, too.] But if it hurts you should not keep it inside you. Scream, wail, whatever you need to. I am here, and I am not going anywhere, not even if you protest or push me away.

[He follows his fingers through K'rihnn's hair with kisses instead, a dozen of them.]

I promise.

[K'rihnn clings to G'raha when he's pulled closer. He shudders and gives a shaky sob as he feels fingers going through his hair and petting his ears. The promise coupled with those kisses are enough of a push for the petit tia. K'rihnn can't hold back a wail even if he wanted to, mourning the part of him that was taken away from him that day. Pieces of his heart broken and scattered as people he'd considered his close friends distanced themselves from him, leaving him alone to deal with the aftermath. Leaving him alone to pick up the fragments of his heart, while his mother was helpless in figuring out what to do for her broken son.

Eleven years of pent-up pain and anguish come flooding out of him like a broken dam.

Eventually, after what feels like an eternity, the purple-haired Warrior can't cry or wail anymore. His breathing is a bit shuddering, and he hiccups softly. Yet, his grip on G'raha is much more relaxed as he tries to get his breathing back under control.]

S... s-sorry, Raha. [Gods, his voice sounds awful and he just can't stop apologizing.] I just... I'm sorry....

[K'rihnn is well and truly broken. But he isn't ruined, not really. G'raha is patient, soon resuming that lullaby he'd been half humming, half singing before. He holds K'rihnn and kisses his ears, encouraging him to let it all out. And when he's done, when the torrent has passed, he's still as calm and collected and affectionate in the Bond as always.]

You need not apologize. [Did K'rihnn not do the same for him?] There is nothing to forgive, my heart.

[He pulls a handkerchief out of a pocket somewhere-- ever the doter-- and gently wipes at K'rihnn's cheeks.]

Do you feel better?

Edited 2020-02-02 09:42 (UTC)

[K'rihnn isn't sure what he would've done or experienced if G'raha hadn't been here for this. Maybe he would've kept on hurting, keeping it close to himself instead of letting the pain out for fear of pushing the Exarch away. He's grateful beyond imagining that he isn't alone, and that the redhead is as soothing and calming a presence as ever.

The younger Seeker sniffs again, and allows himself to be doted on this time. He's emotionally drained. Plus... K'rihnn recognizes that he desperately needs that tenderness right now.]

M-much... 'twas... 11 years since I've thought about it, or had a panic attack....

[He looks up at his lover with red-rimmed eyes. K'rihnn's certain he looks like a miserable wreck, but... he doesn't mind so much with G'raha. Not when it's finally clicking into place that the redhead isn't leaving him. The Exarch is keeping his promise, even after seeing K'rihnn at his absolute lowest.]

I j-just... I couldn't talk about it. There was so much pain, and... and after all of that... what few friends I made in my tribe....

[K'rihnn shakes his head, curling up against his lover into a tighter ball.]

The only one I had left was my mother, in the end. K'celah never answered for what he did, even after all this time, and... my friends simply distanced themselves from me.

'Tis no small relief to hear that.

[He continues gently wiping away those tears and any snot, patient beyond belief. He only stops so he can stroke beneath K'rihnn's chin, helping to tilt his head up slightly.]

What you suffered was more than humiliation—it was trauma. It is not something I would be able to share casually, were I in your position. I find it only logical that such a painful memory would be too much to bear, tangled as it is with other memories of your childhood...

[He leaves a tiny kiss on K'rihnn's nose.]

They were not your friends, I think, if they were so quick to leave you.

[A couple stray tears leak from his eyes at how gentle and patient G'raha's being with him. K'rihnn starts to purr, gentle yet a little weak, on feeling fingers stroking under his chin. He lets the older Seeker tilt his head up, his good eye looking into ruby red. The kiss to his nose gets a soft squeak, but... it's so appreciated.

Gods, but it's no small relief to hear someone else say what he's suspected all these years. That the event had been trauma rather than pure humiliation. K'rihnn swallows back more tears, mostly because shedding any more is proving to be very painful physically.]

Well... if it had to come out s-somehow... I'm glad it was with you.

[His ears have been pinned this entire time, but they're starting to relax back into their normal position. The purple-haired tia sits up a little better in G'raha's lap so that he can kiss the corner of his mouth. At least his voice is getting less shaky, but it's still quiet as he talks about all of this.]

I can't... blame them, entirely. I'm sure no small few of them wanted nothing to do with me after a defeat like that, but... K'celah... was vindictive. I've suspected for years that he may have threatened or scared them into distancing themselves from me. I... I can't blame them for wanting to protect themselves.

I am blessed that you feel so comfortable with me.

[He makes a soft noise almost like a trill as he's kissed, and he returns it. With K'rihnn's tears slowed he sets the handkerchief aside and goes back to petting purple ears and hair diligently.]

As always, I am amazed at how well your heart perceives the troubles of others, even when you are hurting yourself.

[He finishes shedding the cloak he's been wearing over his robes lately, letting it drop to the floor, and then he pulls K'rihnn down onto the bed beside him. It's cuddle time.]

All of that is far, far away from you now. The distant past. You forged your own path and nothing can take that away from you. Simply put: you have outgrown the need for your tribe's validation, and for that, I am immeasurably proud of you.

[His tone light, he adds:]

But tell me, my heart-- is there perhaps room in this strange new tribe you've made for an old man like me?

[K'rihnn echoes that trill when the kiss is returned. His purring gets a little stronger as G'raha pets his hair and ears again. He gives the redhead a small, shy smile.]

'Twas a skill I honed while on the path of the bard. 'Tis invaluable to supporting your comrades in arms, as I'm sure you already know.

[He allows himself to be pulled down beside the Exarch. The purple-haired Seeker cuddles as close to his Witch as he possibly can, and twines his tail with G'raha's. One of his wings blankets the two of them. K'rihnn's grateful that his wings have healed enough for this to be comfortable.

The petit Dragon blushes when his lover says he's proud of him. At the question, he's quiet for a moment as he gently draws random patterns on G'raha's back with his claws. Finally, K'rihnn looks up with a smile, a glint of mischief in his eyes.]

There's always room for you, my Raha. But... as I told you, in my tribe, there has ever been two nunhs.

[He moves up to give a teasing kiss to the tip of the Exarch's nose. His eyes are half-lidded as he looks up into ruby red.]

G'raha Nunh has a nice ring to it, does it not?

'Tis true.

[He feels comforted, too, with the wing pulled over him like it is. Some scars may never heal, but at least he can say he did what he could for K'rihnn. He gently filters his crystal fingertips through K'rihnn's hair, scratching at the base of his ears and sometimes his horns.]

Two—

[G'raha's red eyes pop open wide. He blushes terribly.]

Th--that, er, I am not... I don't--

[In the end he can't find the words, so he lets out a defeated noise and simply hides his face in K'rihnn's neck. This is Too Much.]

[K'rihnn purrs louder as he feels crystal fingers combing through his hair, and chirps softly when they scratch the base of his ears and horns. He can't help laughing as he sees the look on G'raha's face at his statement. When the redhead buries his face in the petit Miqo'te's neck, he runs his fingers through his hair and gently scratches the base of his fluffy ears.]

You're so cute, my Raha.

[The purple-haired Dragon gently takes the hairband out of G'raha's hair, and puts it around his wrist. He then combs out the braid with his fingers.]

But, in all seriousness, there has always been a place for you in my tribe. Even if that tribe is only you and I that are part of it.

[He runs his claws through the fur of his Witch's ears, practically grooming them.]

You are a blessing in my eyes, my song. And you always will be.

[His ears wiggle at the scritches and go crooked, giving away his bliss, followed by a low whistly purr. He very much loves having his ears petted, but letting his hair down is just as good. He breathes in deep and lets it out, going a bit limp against his Bonded.]

Thank you, [he mumbles into K'rihnn's neck. He doesn't want to move now, especially with K'rihnn grooming his ears. They are fluffy and they need it.]

I... I always considered my Royal Eye something of a curse. But to hear that, and to have helped you, 'tis all I could have asked for and more.

[He rubs K'rihnn's back slowly, giving a hint of nails.]

Once again, I find myself being absolutely spoiled when I came to cheer you up.

[K'rihnn can't help trilling quietly as he sees his lover's ears wiggle and go crooked. He holds G'raha close as he feels the redhead going limp against him. Seriously, the Exarch is adorable, and the petit Dragon is happy to continue grooming his ears.]

You've helped me so much and in so many ways that it'd be impossible to think anything else.

[As his back is rubbed with a hint of nails, the purple-haired Seeker can't help purring hard and deep with chirps at random intervals. He nuzzles between the Exarch's ears and buries gentle kisses there.]

Mm, you spoil me all the time. 'Tis only fair to dote on my love in turn. [K'rihnn smiles, though it's hidden in soft, red hair.] Consider it... my way of making up for leaving you alone and frightening you so.

[That had been the worst of the whole ordeal, in K'rihnn's mind. Knowing that his absence, and whatever faint traces leaking through the younger tia's side of the Bond, would've been torture for G'raha.]

[They are a warm and purring pile, and he can't wish for anything more. K'rihnn feels like home. His tail swishes out from beneath his robes and curls around K'rihnn's leg.]

I would never hold what happened against you.

[He sounds a little drifty, what with all those lovely kisses and nuzzles between his ears to contend with.]

When I awoke alone I did not see Aefenglom around me. I saw all the death and destruction and hopelessness the Eighth Umbral Calamity had wrought. The burning battlefields, the constant cannons, the sheer madness and violence born of desperation.

I was too late, again.

[He holds K'rihnn a little tighter, red eyes squeezed shut as he simply bathes in K'rihnn's warmth and familiar scent.]

I could not handle a second time. I can't...

[K'rihnn feels the same way, if he's honest. G'raha is warmth, safety, and home. He feels a furry tail curling around his leg and he can't help laying his own across it, curling around the Exarch's leg as well.

The drifty sound in the redhead's voice is cute, despite the seriousness of their conversation. K'rihnn doesn't protest as he's held tighter. Rather, the petit tia is firmer with grooming soft, red ears and plants more kisses between them.]

I'm sorry, Raha.

[He nuzzles into his lover's hair again.]

You were right on time, from my perspective. Both on the First and here in Aefenglom. 'Twasn't your fault in either instance.

[His purr stutters for a moment before resuming with little chirps.]

I should've been more careful... and I'm still sorry I left you alone. But... I never doubted for a single moment that you would come find me. It... it helped, in the worst moments there.

[K'rihnn kisses along one of G'raha's ears before resuming his careful, gentle grooming.]

After all, you saved me once. I knew you would do it again.

[He seems somewhat pacified by this, mostly because he couldn't worm his way free even if he tried. K'rihnn has him well and truly wrapped up in him, and G'raha isn't inclined to move in any case; all the anxiety bubbles up and is promptly washed away by chirpy purrs and determined hair-stroking.

He feels... spoiled. Very spoiled, despite all the grief he's just expressed.]

Rihnn...

[He makes a soft noise of frustration and buries his face in his neck again. He's afraid he might start crying or something, and he really doesn't want to after K'rihnn let it all out earlier. He doesn't want to be a burden.]

... I knew you were still alive, so I tried to feel what I wanted you to feel, and send that to you... I do not know if you felt anything through the Bond, but I thought that I must try.

[Very, very gently, he begins to scratch at the base of K'rihnn's wings.]

All we can do now is move forward, and... take care not to reopen old wounds, I suppose.

[K'rihnn can't help answering that frustrated noise with something soothing. He closes his eyes tightly for a moment before casually tangling his legs with G'raha's. Honestly, this selfless man is going to hurt himself the more he puts others ahead of himself.]

I felt some of your love for me, though weakly. I held onto it in that heart of darkness. It let me know you weren't taken by them, they weren't hurting you directly. I don't... know if I would've handled them laying so much as a hand on you. But... 'tis also why I tried to send love back to you, as there was a small chance you could feel my pain.

[He shivers and trills softly as he feels nails gently scratching the base of his wings. It feels blissful, though it's a shame that G'raha can't do it any harder without aggravating his healing bones.]

I think... there are some wounds you need to reopen before your grief swallows you whole. [K'rihnn curls himself more tightly against G'raha, as if to silently say that he won't be leaving him voluntarily. He gives more gentle kisses to those cute ears of the Exarch's.] Raha... your grief, your pain, will never be a burden to me. Please... will you share at least a little of that with me?

[G'raha promised that he'd try, and... well... the older Seeker already knows his own trauma. They came out of that with a stronger bond, at least to K'rihnn.]

I love you, Raha. Whatever sins you believe you have, whatever pain and grief you carry, naught will change my heart when it comes to you.

[He's quiet, absorbing that information. He'd... felt that, certainly, more often than the pain. K'rihnn tried so very hard to let him know he was alive. And somehow, that hurts more than knowing he was in pain and G'raha could do nothing about it.]

I know. I felt it... It kept me going, as well.

[That shiver is nice, and he makes a mental note for later.]

I--

[How is it that K'rihnn can always pluck that thought right out of his head when he thinks it? His ears pin, ashamed, and he sucks in a breath through his teeth. To be showered with such fervent, unconditional love... He isn't sure he deserves it right now.]

I have carried it for so long, I no longer remember who I am without it.

[K'rihnn makes a soft sound as he sees those ears pin in shame. He shifts his hands so that one is petting G'raha's hair while the other strokes an ear.]

I thought the same, though I acknowledge that 11 years isn't nearly the same as a hundred and more years of carrying it.

[The Dragon kisses the top of his lover's head, and lets his warm affection seep through their Bond. Hopefully, it'll help to soothe the Exarch's heart.]

You are so much more than your pain, my Raha. It doesn't define you... and I remember who you are, with or without it.

[He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.]

You're... the bravest Miqo'te I've ever known. You love so much and so strongly, whether it's for myself or the people of the First or the Warrior of Light. You try so hard to uplift people's spirits, and make them believe in hope and heroes again. You love music, and learning, and you're still my favorite historian. You never give up on anyone, and... and you're so strong that you changed fate itself to save our lives.

You're G'raha Tia, the Crystal Exarch, and my whole world.

[His ears continue their happy wiggling, even if the rest of him feels awful. He might just hide his face in K'rihnn's shoulder like this forever. His tail curls around K'rihnn's tightly, while his fingertips rub circles into the other Miqo'te's back.]

Rihnn, I...

[K'rihnn's words don't fall on deaf ears-- far from it, really. He makes a choked noise as he labors not to sob. Gods, he didn't want to make this about himself, but it's so hard when he feels like he's been exposed, his old wounds reopened. It isn't that he doesn't trust K'rihnn, but he worries that this petite Warrior of Light will somehow blame himself...

He sniffles surreptitiously.]

Whenever I see fit to give up on something I have lost, you simply gather up those things and bring them back to me. My name. My heart. Myself. I... [He pulls back and gazes into K'rihnn's expression, his own bittersweet, eyes fit to overflow with tears.] I owe you everything...

I-- I still do not think myself worthy of such praise. [He takes one of K'rihnn's hands in his, crystal fingers twining between them, so he can press his lips to tanned knuckles.] My strength has always derived from the deeds of others. From the wishes and dreams of those who came before, so I might help those who come after. How could I stumble knowing what was at stake?

Yet... there was joy in the small moments. I clung to them, yes, but 'twould seem I had forgotten what they were.

Thank you... for helping me to remember.

[K'rihnn's tail curls tightly around G'raha's as well, and he makes a soft noise as he feels fingertips rubbing circles into his back. His attention is fully on the Exarch's words. When the older Seeker looks up at him, he looks into watery, ruby red eyes with warmth. The petit tia blushes a light pink when G'raha twins his fingers between his own and kisses his knuckles. K'rihnn can't help reaching down with his free hand to cup the redhead's cheek, rubbing his thumb gently under his eye.]

Sometimes, we need a little help finding the things we've lost and forgotten. I'm glad I could be the one to help you in this.

[He tugs his lover's crystal hand over to his lips so that he can kiss each of his knuckles. Bright, green eyes still gaze into ruby red.]

You are worthy of such praise, my song. Their deeds, dreams, and wishes were only to support you and get you to where you needed to go. That you could draw inspiration on them, and then act as decisively as you could, was all you. You made all of that a reality. If you need proof, you need only look to my continued life.

[The younger Miqo'te then shifts to give a fleeting, gentle kiss to G'raha's lips.]

I love you, my Raha. Please... do not hold back on my account. Not when it clearly hurts you and haunts you so.

[G'raha's eyes flutter at the touch. He gazes up at K'rihnn through faded hair, eyes glimmering with fondness even as he tries not to cry.]

As am I.

[He makes a noise as his knuckles are kissed in return. K'rihnn is still very much a bard. There is no pretending otherwise.]

Rihnn—

[K'rihnn isn't wrong, exactly, but the lives of those who helped get him to the First still weigh heavy. He kisses back, brief as it is-- but when K'rihnn pulls back, G'raha is on the verge of breaking. He shakes his head a little.]

They were your people, too. Your friends and comrades and the ones you would give anything to protect—they fought for the future when you could not. In me, they entrusted everything... and I am all that remains.

If I am to bring them up again, to deny those spirits their rest, I want it to be a happier time. I want to give them the remembrance they deserve...

[The Exarch looking at him with such fondness both melts his heart and makes it flutter. K'rihnn has never been this head-over-heels for someone before, but he's glad it's G'raha who makes him feel that way.

K'rihnn cuddles closer to his Witch, and rests his forehead against the redhead's forehead. He reaches up to gently cup his lover's face, rubbing his thumb softly under a ruby red eye.]

Aye... but I never knew the ones who came after. Who took up that legacy and woke you in their time of greatest need. But... I wouldn't mind hearing both the joyful and the sorrowful memories.

[He pauses a moment to think.]

I know naught if you had a chance to hear it, but... I did hear Biggs's descendant's final message to you. He'd apologized for what you had to do, and that you had to do it alone... yet he was certain that the hardship would be worth it for our reunion.

[K'rihnn hesitates before continuing.]

I don't know them, Raha, but I want to... and you're the only one who knows their stories. More than that... I want to better understand the man you've become. How your journey changed you, the good and the bad.

I just... want you to know that you can be bitter and grieving and just... sad with me. Naught shall leave this room.

[The petit Seeker smiles slightly, though it looks a bit sad, too.]

Given you're the only one outside of my tribe who knows my full story... we're both in need of healing, aren't we?

[He closes his eyes, though it doesn't stop the tears. One pools around K'rihnn's thumb, and then another, slow and hot and agonizing.] They were so radiant, so resilient. They-- they loved hearing your story.

[He can't bite back the noise he makes when K'rihnn admits hearing that message. Judging by that alone, yes, he's heard it too. He leans into K'rihnn's touch, rubbing his cheek into his hand, and he gazes into his lover's expression even though he can't see beyond the veil of tears.]

You would know what brought me here? 'Tis a very long tale in the telling, I fear-- full of shadows, and one who stood for the Light, and the countless deeds of unsung heroes... a tale of the love that binds us all, and mayhap one fool who simply did not know when to give up.

[He brushes his lips lightly over K'rihnn's, an airy kiss.]

I know I can trust you with it. With everything. I have already given you my heart, after all.

[He sniffles surreptitiously, and takes K'rihnn's other hand so he can squeeze it.]

... As long as we have this, I believe we will heal stronger than before. That is, if you would tolerate this lovesick fool for a while longer.

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krihnnges - 2020-03-10 10:51 (UTC) - Expand

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