middaeg | Are you brave enough to see? [open]

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Are you brave enough to see? [open]

Who: Berserker (Cú Chulainn Alter) and you!
When: Throughout Feoveuer
Where: The Wilde
What: Wilde Quest #2 Dragon's Den -- a dragon would like you to stop leaving him food offerings and go away
Warnings: none

((NOTE: Berserker will be in his full-sized dragon form, meaning he's about the size of an elephant, so keep that in mind!))

[ 1. Will you bite the hand that feeds? (Existing CR) ]

[ Food has been showing up at the mouth of the den he'd set up since he showed up in the Wilde. It's been an annoyance and it's not like he can tell them to cut it the fuck out. Instead, he just moves the offerings inside (mostly to prevent drawing in any wild creatures that might want to partake). Well, at least he won't go hungry.

Nearby footsteps draw his attention from where he's laying. He peeks his head out of the den and narrows his eyes. The dragon recognizes who's coming and huffs out a sigh. ]

... You came to find me, didn't you? Don't tell me you brought food, too.

[ 2. Will you chew until it bleeds? (New CR) ]

[ The sound of something being dropped near the opening of his temporary home gets Berserker to stand up and look out. It's not a mirrorbound that's familiar to him, so he's not about to be very friendly to them -- he's out here to be alone, after all. ]

Leave what you've brought and go before my kindness runs out.

[ Someone is a cranky boy. ]

[ 3. Will you get up off your knees? (Wildcard) ]

[ Did we plot something? Have an idea for this quest? Drop me a starter or PM me here or on Discord glitzkrieg#0673 and we can work something out! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He...doesn't quite know how to respond to that. His usual method of getting Flat to shut up won't work in this form, so he has to think of something to say. ]

If that's what you believe... [ Berserker closes his eyes as his thoughts turn to the torments he suffered again. Would an apology absolve them of their crimes? Discomfort flows through their Bond as he dwells on it more. ] Would you forgive any crime against any one if they simply apologized for it?

[ Would you forgive what was done to me? To Waver? is what he doesn't ask. ]

I...um...

[ flat’s voice stutters in search of a response. it would have been something so simple to answer a while ago, and perhaps it still is. if he detached himself from the situation, then technically he could. technically, neither waver or cu were dead. in other words, it should have been alright. sure, there’s a crime that was committed, but they’ll get punished, right?

cu’s words from that night ring distantly in his ears—but those had been told to someone else. flat’s love for humanity had to include all that people considered ugly and wrong. even if he wanted to reject it, he couldn’t. he shouldn’t.

to do so felt like it would herald something worse. something far worse than what had happened in that cell. ]

It’s... I don’t... [ he looks at cu, eyes wide with a mix of confusion and fear as he tries to find his words as carefully as he can. ] I don’t think I can explain.

[ It stings, in a way. To him, it should have been easy enough to answer. Berserker opens his eyes again to see Flat staring at him. He's aware enough to know that the witch is in a fragile position and he isn't equipped to answer the question.

His honesty is enough, even if it hurts him. Berserker says nothing as he closes his eyes again. To think that his tormentors could be forgiven for what they did hurts. The purring stops and his body stiffens. It hurts. Anguish with no outlet. It's not as though a dragon can cry and he's already curled up on himself as much as he can with Flat where he is.

It would have been better if they'd killed him. He wouldn't have to experience this now. ]

Then don't. [ Quiet and resigned. ] You don't have to explain anything.

[ The wounds were torn open again and he can't stop picking at them. These thoughts hurt and he has no one to blame but himself for twisting the knife. He should have left well enough alone, but he can't.

It hurts. ]

I’m sorry. I messed up.

[ flat feels the pain from cu’s bond, hot and searing like a knife in his gut. it’s a horrifying pain, but not even that can reach the level of fear he has right now. fear of himself. and a fear of losing cu.

so he does what he thinks needs to be done and apologizes. those two phrases are the only things that he can really articulate at the moment, and they’re both as heartfelt as he can try to make them. his throat feels tight, and it’s suddenly hard to breathe again; even harder to think.

but he wants to try to be understood. so he talks. ]

I don’t think... that hating would be a good idea for me. Rejecting them...would be like rejecting Aefenglom...and that would be like rejecting humanity. I can’t do that. [ he pauses, wringing his hands. ] I can’t.

[ He can't understand it, but he doesn't have to. Flat didn't need to explain -- Berserker's pain is his own problem. Or...it would be if his pain wasn't shared. He doesn't pry any harder for an explanation because he can feel the fear from Flat. It's terrifying...

Something does dawn on him, though. Is that why Flat had been so...distant and strange that day? ]

... That's why 'you' asked me that question in the cell, isn't it? [ How different would it have been if he hadn't given the answer he did? He turns his head to press his forehead against Flat's chest in an attempt to comfort him. ] I can't forgive them...but that's my choice. I can't and won't force you to change your views...You're fearful enough without my help.

Edited 2020-02-03 06:54 (UTC)

I don’t know. It’s a long story—maybe ask them if they come back?

[ he laughs softly, full of self deprecation. flat’s memory of the scene is something vague and nebulous, like a shroud of fog covering it or as if he were watching a movie half asleep.

nevertheless, he’s glad to know that cu accepted his answer. it makes him smile softly, relief washing over him like warm water—even if he’s not understood, he’s still accepted. that’s probably the most he can ask for. ]

That’s alright. If that’s the case, then I’ll take whatever you and Waver reject. If you hate the Coven and all of Aefenglom, then I’ll love them in your place.

I don't hate them...It was my fault for feeling safe and becoming complacent.

[ He was content with his life in the city before he was taken. He felt safe and secure. That shattering of that safety is what hurt so badly and why he fled. Everything kept him on edge and thinking it would happen again, it was just a matter of time. ]

I should have known I was never safe. Something like this was...inevitable.

If you're not safe, then none of us are.

[ flat strokes cu's head gently, musing his own thoughts out loud. after all, if someone as strong as him could get taken away, then anyone could be taken away.

then does it all boil down to luck? perhaps. if it's a matter of how the dice fall on a certain day or even in a certain moment, then there was little that could be done. there would be no need to think about it further than 'it happened, and now it's over.' ]

I wonder. What would you have done if it had been me? Or Dia? Set half the city on fire?

There would have been blood. No quarter for anyone who had any hand in harming those most precious to me.

[ It would have been a bloodbath. He had been an unstoppable killing machine in his life and he would have simply continued that. The efficiency he had in killing would not have been employed, however. Those who inflict such cruelty only deserve it for their own deaths. Crippled and left to bleed out while they beg for their lives at his feet...

It's an unpleasant thought, if only because he doesn't want to think about harm coming to his Bonded. ]

They would have had to subdue me or kill me to stop my vengeance...

[ flat stares at cu as he responds. his expression is blank, shocked even, as berserker explains how they would have fallen into such a violent, killing machine.

and then--

he smiles. it's a gentle smile, as he resumes petting the dragon's head. ]

I'm not sure what Dia would say about that, but I don't want that to happen if I ever get hurt--whether it's because something like this happens again or something else. Because if they had to do anything like that to stop you...then I think that'd make me...sad?

[ flat nods to himself, as if confirming his own thoughts. ]

I think that would make me more upset than anything else, yep. You shouldn't become a killing machine for me...you're too precious for that.

Edited 2020-02-04 22:41 (UTC)

[ Too precious...Berserker can't see any sort of worth in himself still beyond his ability to kill. The idea of him being precious in any way at all is alien. ]

I was nothing more than a killing machine before. I killed so many that it became routine...I lost my love for battle out of necessity. It would be going to back to who I used to be. [ Who he really is. ] I would stop at nothing to bring you back to my side if you were taken...

[ He's not good at anything else but fighting and he would not allow himself to be useless as he had been when he was taken. ]

I can't change that about me. My only purpose is to protect those I care about now...

Your purpose, huh...?

[ flat laughs softly, as if those words had some sort of meaning to him. perhaps they do. perhaps not. to be honest, he's not sure if he has ever had a reason to exist himself; a raison d'etre.

he's always been happy enough riding on the coattails of others, enjoying life as it passed by. for flat, that had always been enough.

part of him--no, all of him doesn't think that he's worth such carnage. if it were between that and suffering, then flat would take the torture any day. it's somewhat ironic, he realizes. ]

Well! If that's the case, then I would have to testify for you! I'd make a dramatic entrance in the court, yelling-- "I object! He was always possessed by a rabid witch that wanted to see him lose his mind! They're the true culprit! I have the proof right here!" And slap on the court some proof to clear you of most charges! Like a hero!

[ That urge to smother Flat overcomes him once again, but he resists. Berserker heaves a dramatic sigh through his nose and starts to growl faintly. ]

...Do you ever think about the things you say, Flat?

Nope! [ despite cu's growling, flat can't help but snicker. ] Why?

[ he knows why, he just wants to hear cu say it. ]

[ Why are you like this, Flat????

In all honesty, Flat's nonsense helps. It's normal and he's come to accept it as a part of his life in being Bonded to him. Is it irritating and ridiculous? Yes, but it's familiar. It's as familiar as Flat's scent and presence. His dumb statements are endearing in their own way. ]

You know why. The things you say are ridiculous and outlandish and have no basis in reality. It sounds like you just let words fall out of your head in any order without giving it a second thought.

Hehe, that's so mean! [ considering how he says this with a laugh, there's no doubt that flat probably finds this funnier than he does insulting. ]

But you're right. It's just more fun this way, you know? And I prefer being seen as an idiot than as someone scary, so saying stuff like this is better, I think.

You might be an idiot, but...you're my idiot. At least until you choose to sever our Bond.

[ Because that will happen some day, he's sure. He is meant to be alone, he isn't meant to have people he cares about. A one-man war, ever lonely, ever mighty, ever victorious. Until the day he's forced to return to that life, he will accept what he has and has been given to him. ]

I’d never sever our Bond! I’m an idiot, but I’m not stupid. [ another stifled laugh. he really doesn’t understand why cu continues to think like this, but he’s sure that it will never stop.

and flat doesn’t really mind it either. he’ll accept that part of cu that can only see a solitary future up ahead as he had accepted every other. ]

I like you too much to do that. So unless you want to break it, then you are stuck with me!

I won't break it unless you betray me...I don't see that happening.

[ Of all the things Flat is, disloyal is not one of them. He lifts his head off of Flat to gently nuzzle him. ]

...I take it you're going to stay here as long as I let you, aren't you?

Until you get sick of me and tell me to leave!

[ and even then he might push it. ]

...You can stay for the night, if you think you can handle it.

[ He will concede that much for now. Flat had waited as long as he'd asked to come visit him and it's only fair to reward him. ]

Eh?! Eeeh?! Really!!!?

[ well that was something that flat didn't expect! from the grin on his face, it's obvious that he's more than excited about this--he can barely contain himself. ]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad I get to spend the night with you! [ he drapes himself over cu's head, nuzzling him. ] Thank you thank you thank you!

[ He can feel the pure joy from Flat and it's...pleasant. It's welcome to feel something other than misery, even if it's a secondhand emotion. ]

... I didn't think something so simple would make you so happy. Do you really care that much about a beast like me?

Of course! I love people like you!

[ flat says this with no hesitation, the joy still reflecting in his eyes ]

Dark, mysterious people that consider themselves to be less than human, but are just as human as--or even more than--the rest. And above that, you're amazing on your own, Cu! So of course I care about you!

[ Flat's pure declaration mixed with the sheer exhilaration he feels from him make his heart swell. It's so rare to feel this sort of strong, unbridled happiness that it's almost painful for Berserker, but not in a bad way. He may have felt this way long ago, before he became a broken shell of a person. It inspires an odd sort of longing in him... ]

... I will never understand you, Flat. But I am still grateful for your presence.

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