middaeg | Never Her Mind On Where She Was

Entry tags:

kh: aqua,
kh: kairi

Never Her Mind On Where She Was

Who: Kairi (

lightblooming)
When: Late at night on the 29th
Where: The KH cast house
What: Kairi is pushing herself late into the night to improve her skill with her magic. When Aqua stumbles on her awake, it's time for a bit of aggressive mothering.
Warnings: Possible PTSD mentions on Kairi's part.

Had it past midnight by now? It was hard to tell. After a certain point, time became a purely subjective thing, and everything was just "dark".

Kairi didn't care, anyway, except for the fact that her body was starting to be uncooperative. Performing the proper movements with her hands, focusing the correct way... those things became much more difficult when your limbs and eyelids felt heavy, when your brain was foggy because it wanted to sleep.

But she didn't want to sleep. For a number of reasons, really. Right now, she was trying to focus on the one that didn't make her skin crawl.

She had to improve. She was getting so close. She knew, if she could just reach out a bit further, a bit longer... She could reach them.

It had to be true.

The process so absorbed her attention, she had no idea anyone was coming up behind her.

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That actually makes her grimace a little, shamefaced.

"I wasn't... exactly receptive to it, when I showed up. He probably didn't get the best impression of me."

"You were going through a lot then. I'm sure he understands."

Even without him knowing everything that Kairi had gone through - it was an entirely new world that they' been forced to come to. There aren't many people who would adapt to that idea quickly.

"Mmm. I hope so."

She sighs, slumping a little, thinking of how very, very poorly she's adapted to this place. Case in point, what she was doing just before Aqua found her. All she seems to care about now is trying to reach back home. This world... she just can't bring herself to be attached to it, at all.

"I don't feel... like I've connected to this world at all. Everywhere Sora went, he made friends, he tied his heart to new people. I've made... one."

"... Kairi, you should take a day to take a break from your studies." She responds quietly. "I know that your mind is on Sora and Riku, but it's important to take care of yourself, too."

She can't help but worry about her. She doesn't want her to feel alone in this world.

"You realize I'm just going to spend that day driving myself mad over them, right?" She knows Aqua's trying to help, but... there's a reason she hasn't been able to get away from her single-minded determination to achieve this one goal.

"Aqua, I don't... want to be here. Every day I spend on this world feels like I'm being robbed of time to spend with Riku or looking for Sora. Or both. I feel as trapped as I was back on The World That Never Was, only without any jailors to blame."

"... I understand how you feel." Aqua starts. There's a mix of both concern and sternness to her voice.

"But, Sora has Riku to help him, too. He won't just give up on him. We need to believe in him, for both their sakes."

"So I'm stuck leaving my boys to look after each other without me yet again, huh?" She... should be used to that, by now. But really, the fact that she keeps finding herself in this position only makes it worse.

At the same time, though... what can she do? Moping won't help her situation, and her single-minded determination to master Divination in the hopes of finding them somewhere out in the stars, though it's reaped certain rewards, hasn't been healthy for her. She knows that.

"... Let's say I do take a day off. Maybe head into the city to find peopel to talk to and try to take my mind off things. Where do you suggest I go?"

"That's not it." Aqua shakes her head, reaching to gently place a hand on Kairi's shoulder. "Sora and Riku wouldn't want you to give up on them. But, they'd want you to be happy, too."

Though, she knows that's easier said than done.

However, she can't help but pause at the question.

"... Well, I could go with you if you'd like. I haven't exactly done any sight seeing to have an answer to that myself."

Kairi tamps down her immediate response to that, because she knows "there's nothing to be happy about" is the opposite of helpful. And... honestly, the fact that it's where her mind goes is definitely something to be worried about.

"So we just... wander around the city, hoping something catches our eye, I guess?"

"I don't see why not. We may find something we didn't know was here before."

And really, it would be a good way to take Kairi's mind off of everything - if only for a moment. She can't sit by and let all of this affect her health as it is.

That's certainly true. There's got to be countless things in the village she's never seen, considering how little time she's spent exploring. So... yeah, she can get behind this.

"You... wanna go tomorrow morning?" Might as well not waste time, though going right now would probably not be the best plan.

"Sounds like a plan." Aqua nods in agreement. "For now, you should try to get some rest."

Aqua herself can rest easier tonight if she knows that Kairi is doing the same.

"I know, I know..." Though, she's not quite as resistant to the idea as she was a few minutes ago.

Part of that might be the tea, of course. It's very relaxing.

"Lemme just finish this."

Tentatively, Aqua nods her head.

"Alright."

She doesn't move to stand, not yet.

"Until then, I'll keep you company."

"You mean you're gonna keep an eye on me to make sure I don't wander outside or something?"

That could probably be taken as overly defensive, so Kairi makes sure to soften it with a warm smile to show she's only kidding. Well, mostly kidding. And honestly Aqua would be entirely in the right to worry anyway.

"I just need to relax a little. I feel like an instrument that's been tuned too tight."

For a moment, Aqua blinks in confusion, ready to say something in protest - but then Kairi smiles, and she relaxes a little.

"I understand the feeling." Aqua looks to he own tea. "... Sometimes, there were days when it felt like all I would do was train. Master Eraqus would scold me then."

"So how's it feel to be in his position now?"

There's a brief pause as she sips her tea, but when the mug leaves her lips she's grinning wide.

"Master?"

Her cheeks flush a little at that. She's a little flustered by what Kairi's just said...

"... When you put it that way, it makes me think he influenced me more than I realized."

It still hurts to think of him, though - hurts to think that he's really gone.

"Well, is that really a surprise, though? I mean, it was just you, him, Terra and Ven for a long time, wasn't it?"

Aqua's never mentioned anyone else, after all. Not even family... Well, birth family anyway. Kairi knows better than anyone that isn't necessarily the most important kind.

"Yes." Aqua nods her head, going silent for a second or so.

"For a long time, it was just Terra and I. ... When Ven arrived, the both of us were so excited."

"Right, that makes sense. Your first new person in years. And he was someone you could take under your collective wing, at the same time."

She takes another long sip of tea, envisioning the three of them meeting for the first time. It's absolutely adorable in her head.

"You're right." Aqua isn't smiling at the memory, however. "... But, it wasn't like that. When Ven first arrived, it was almost as if he was comatose at times."

"Oh. Right, because of..." Vanitas. Or rather, Xehanort ripping Vanitas out of him.

Damn the old monster. "How long did it take for him to start coming around?"

"It took months." Aqua's gaze lowers at the memory. "... We had to do everything for Ven. He was so rarely responsive."

"That's awful. And to think, that's with Sora's heart supporting him." Granted, it had been a newborn heart at the time, but still.

Never Her Mind On Where She Was

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