middaeg | fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

Who: Rich and others
When: Morning and noonish, November 15
Where: Jeremy, Rich, and Michael's home
What: Rich and Jeremy's Bonding ceremony and celebration
Warnings: none

i. Bonding (Closed)

[Jeremy shows up at Rich's door bright and early the next morning. Despite how Rich claimed that suits weren't required, Jeremy still put together the nicest-looking thing in his wardrobe. His hair is slicked back, his skin is clearer than usual (where did he find concealer?), and he's used up a good chunk of his precious deodorant that he brought with him through the mirror.

The SQUIP had a lot of drawbacks, being an evil mind-controlling robot and all, but it taught Jeremy a valuable lesson: Jeremy cleans up good.

When Rich opens the door, Jeremy's waiting expectantly, hands behind his back and bouncing on his toes. It's clear that he's been there a while.]

You ready to go?

ii. Announcement (Open)

[To announce their Bond and to celebrate, Rich and Jeremy have opened the house up for any and everyone who wants to check it out--both quietly not mentioning how empty the space seems with Justine's recent disappearance. At Rich's suggestion, they've sent an open invitation out on the watch network to anyone who wants to drop by and offer congratulations.

Their budget isn't huge, but Jeremy's insistence on hospitality means that they've got enough finger food and drinks for people to try out. There's no alcohol.

Jeremy's still nervous even though the deed is done, so he's bustling around constantly to make sure that everything is perfectly neat, that they've got enough seats, and that nobody needs a refill. In his rush, bringing a hot tray of cookies from the oven straight onto a serving tray, he bumps into you. As he turns around to see who he's plowed over, he rushes to apologize. The niceties run into themselves before he even sees your face.]

Shoot--I'm sorry--thanks for coming!

iii. Wildcard (Open)

[Jeremy and Rich are both available to talk about their new bond with your character. Let me know if you want a specific situation!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rich levels a Look at Jeremy, one eyebrow cocked, as he gestures to the empty cookie tray he's rinsing off.]

There was definitely one guest that didn't come because of me. Linden flat out told me he didn't think I'd be here, for some fucking reason.

[Did he seriously think he'd just throw Jeremy to the wolves afterwards?]

Okay, so, wait, no one told me that the jury decided. His name's definitely Linden, now?

[The innocence about his secret friendship might not be entirely genuine but the question is. Jeremy's heard two different names for L, once each, and he half-expects to hear more.]

Not the other one from his friend at the bar?

It's the name I'm going to call him. I kind of think it's an alibi, but I don't think his weird friend would spill the beans so easily.

[Rich lets out a sigh, throwing a sponge into the sink decisively, declaring the war against the clutter over for the moment.]

Doesn't matter what his name is anyways. The point is he was annoying me.

Oh.

[His voice is small. Jeremy feels tiny, and if this conversation were happening a couple months ago, he'd be shrinking back from Rich's tone alone. He's vaguely guilty already, knowing what L said about Rich when he wasn't even trying to get a reaction.]

I'm sorry. What did he do?

[Rich isn't sure if he feels the guilt from Jeremy, or if his mortification is just written all over his face. Either way, his tone does dampen slightly, and he tries to keep the anger out of his voice... even if he's talking about someone who seems determined to get on his nerves.]

You didn't see him steal your entire platter of cookies? That was like... the least of what he did. He always just... I don't know, he always thinks he's better than me. I know I shouldn't hold the SQUIP thing against him, he's probably getting better, but...

[There's a miserable feeling inside him... anger over things he knows full well are true usually bring that kind of guilty, depressing anger.]

He's said things to me that... aren't okay to say to anyone.

[Jeremy doesn't care about cookies. They were for guests, and L was a guest.

Jeremy does his best to speedrun every interaction he's had with L so far, from the first asshole threats to the way he's been making Jeremy actually laugh for the first time in recent memory.

Even with that, he's got no ammunition to prove that L is somehow a good person or a positive influence or otherwise undeserving of Rich's ire, especially if things have happened between them that Jeremy wasn't there for.

As a dark mood washes over Rich, Jeremy feels his shoulders sinking under an invisible weight.

Rich's judgment is better than Jeremy's. That's one of the immutable laws of the universe.]

I'm sorry. I should... not... talk to him anymore.

[Rich doesn't know much about Bonds, but his experience is enough that when multiple memories that seem unfamiliar flick through his head in rapid succession, he can guess that Jeremy is thinking hard about things. He can't see every memory clearly, but the general feelings are there.

It makes him feel worse, to know Jeremy might genuinely get along with a guy who flat out said he didn't have the energy to care about what Rich went through, a guy who said his desire to do good things just wasn't smart, a guy who called Rich 'flaming' solely to make Rich feel miserable.

He feels guilty and conflicted, his own weight crushing his spirit rapidly.]

No... Jeremy, that's not what I said exactly. I'm not going to lie and say that's not what I want to say...

[He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.]

If you want to put the effort in with him, I'm not gonna stop you.

[If anyone could find the good, non-manipulative parts of Linden, it would probably be Jeremy, one of the few people willing to give Rich a chance he didn't deserve.]

[Jeremy doesn't openly protest even if he wishes he were the kind of person who would.]

I don't know, man. Your gut is usually right about people. Mine isn't.

[He looks away, worrying a spare square of ribbon between his fingers.]

Besides, if we're Bonded and I hang out with him, it's sorta like you have to hang out with hi--

[He drops the square, distracted from his internal conflict by a sudden thought.]

Wait! Rich! The SQUIP couldn't hear what we were talking about with Linden, could it?!

I also have a problem with being harsher on people than I need to be, so maybe I'm being too harsh...

[He trails off when Jeremy suddenly switches gears so fast Rich is amazed he didn't derail his train of thought entirely.]

Depends. It could have been listening, but only if it was interested and Linden let it... what are you freaking out now for? If it knows about us meeting him at the bar, I doubt he'd let Linden come to the party where we'd keep putting those thoughts in his head.

[Jeremy turns horrified eyes on Rich.]

But I've been talking about it! Really bad stuff! Really personal stuff! I didn't think it could hear! Holy shit, I don't even know what I've been saying, but I wouldn't be saying it in front of the SQUIP!

[Maybe it's different for Rich. All SQUIPs are the same, but... this one was Jeremy's SQUIP. It's an intimate thing to suddenly have walking around and talking about you to people!

Jeremy can't help but remember how L met him--not the dreamlike first meeting, but a clear memory of L talking about his secondhand knowledge of Jeremy's masturbation habits.]

Well, I don't know what to tell you, man. I guess be careful what you say in case it's listening? I'd tell you to tell Linden to block the SQUIP from listening in when talking to you, but I don't think he'd be willing to do that.

[Rich can imagine it'd be worse for Jeremy. He doesn't have anything to hide anymore, and the SQUIP can only infer about Halloween, which means most don't take its word above Rich's.]

I'm sorry, okay? But this was why I didn't want you talking to Linden in the first place. He'll use any ammo he has against you, and what he doesn't, he'll give to the SQUIP. I don't know how to get him to stop trusting it.

[Jeremy stoops, picking up the cloth.

He thinks of Halloween and glances at Rich with muted concern before looking away.]

Why would he use it against me? He was ready to fight me at first because he thought I still liked the SQUIP. Now that he knows it's not like that, he's been...

[L ordering Jeremy and himself the same ridiculously sweet liquor flashes through his mind. Then, L instructing Jeremy on his standup routine--L encouraging him to get a Bond--L holding a goofy Jeremy caricature in puppet form, trying to fake video game literacy.]

Civil. You know?

I don't know much about him and the SQUIP, but it doesn't seem like that's something you can just tell someone. You tried pretty hard with me after all.

[Jeremy's not even positive that L trusts the SQUIP at all.]

I don't know why he'd fight you. Maybe he's just glad you aren't there to compete with him.

[He winces softly at the images filtered into his head, trying determinedly to ignore them, to focus instead on his own memories of what Linden is like. He doesn't know why Linden seems to get along so well with Jeremy, but it's really making it hard to trust his own feelings on this matter.

Maybe he's better than he acts with Rich. Maybe he does have a chance to get better. Or maybe Rich is getting his own memories manipulated again. He feels ill.]

And I tried pretty hard with him. I told him what happened to me. I told him about the fire, and he told me it was exhausting to feel sympathetic for me. Since then, he's used the things I told him because I wanted to warn him to mock me.

[He feels once again, uncomfortably like he did the first few months here. A voice of reason, made to feel insane because everyone else turned his concerns away. Maybe Jeremy was right and he was Cassandra, destined to watch Jeremy crash and burn with another person who'd toss him aside the moment the SQUIP said so.]

He flat-out told me he'd only be willing to be friends with me if I wasn't competition, like, up front and threateningly.

[Jeremy's first thought is, of course, what L told him about knowing someone else who tried to commit suicide by fire. But he squashes that thought as soon as he has it, his shoulders slumping. He feels gross.]

Rich...

I mean, he's one douchebag. Just one, and I only kinda know him and that's only because we keep running into each other.

It's not--we're not--I don't see why that's gotta threaten what we've got right now.

[Well, that makes two of them that feel gross. Rich folds his arms and turns slightly away from Jeremy, unable to look him in the eyes.]

I don't see why you're going back and forth on things. One minute you say I probably know better, then the next you're saying he's been perfectly nice.

It doesn't have to threaten anything but... jesus, man, I just want you to try to understand. I hate talking to him and I've told you why. I don't like this having to be... an argument or something on who's right.

I don't want you to pick a side, I just... want you to not make me feel like I'm crazy.

[Dismissing every problem Rich has with good memories definitely doesn't make Rich feel like he has a logical grip on the situation.]

[Jeremy's exhausted just hearing those words. Why is he going back and forth? Why is he always so wishy-washy and terrible at making his own decisions?

Jeremy makes a noise and leans against a counter, sliding down it as he grabs at his head. He stays like that for a few seconds, then buries his head in his arms on his propped-up knees.]

You're not crazy, Rich.

[He mumbles it through the fabric of his shirt.]

You're right. I've got terminally terrible taste. We know this. I said he's a douchebag.

If you don't want me to talk to him, I won't talk to him, full stop. Okay?

[Jeremy's voice is strained. He doesn't usually have arguments like this with anyone and he's remembering why he avoids it like the plague.]

Jesus christ. That's not what I want and I told you that! I just wanted you to try to understand why I think he's a douchebag without you... fucking defending his honour or whatever.

I thought you knew I was looking out for you. That's why I bonded with you in the first place.

[But of course, Jeremy is barely even opening that bond up... so he can say that he trusts Rich's insight, but it seems that actions may speak louder than words. Rich sighs heavily, ignoring the painful lump in his throat.]

Didn't know you'd regret this so soon.

[He turns away from Jeremy entirely then, walking slowly and heavily back to his room.]

[Jeremy's got no protest he can give to that.

He's not angry at Rich, not really, even if things got weirdly heated. He's confused at whatever's happened, knowing he's in the wrong without knowing how or why.

When Rich is gone, he pushes himself off the ground and, helpless and not having anything to do with his hands, starts in on the dishes in a half-awake sort of way.

What's he supposed to do? What's he supposed to say? He's royally fucked up already. Rich is going to come down and tell Jeremy this was a bad idea, and the mental image is so strong that Jeremy wants to barf. He scrubs at a dish hard instead.

Rich said all that stuff earlier and Jeremy actually opened up for the first time in... a long time. Even Michael and Christine don't always entirely get Jeremy and they don't say the kinds of things Rich said. How has Jeremy fucked that up already?]

[Rich trudges back up to his room and nearly faceplants into bed. The only reason he doesn't immediately is because as he's falling, he remembers the flower pinned to his lapel and holds out his hands, catching himself just in time. There's a wave of relief as he fumbles to take it out, and then he twirls the stem in his hands for a moment, only to feel guilt and depression wash over him again.

He should press these with the other flowers from Justine. Even if Jeremy's probably going to ask for this to be over soon enough, it's still a memory he wants to hold onto.

Because it had been going so well, and then Rich had to go fuck it up with all his stupid hang ups and all his fears, and his stupid ability to drop a match on any sign of gas.

He doesn't want to fight. Despite appearances, he really hates fighting. Even if that's all he's been doing here. Fighting to keep people safe. Fighting to get a little bit of power out of the SQUIP's hands. Fighting to get people to take steps for their own safety.

He just wants Jeremy to be safe, right? Linden's not exactly dangerous, but he could be, and that's what's so scary. If Jeremy's already putting Linden's word over Rich's, what will happen when Linden decides he'd rather get on the SQUIP's good side again?

Still, he doesn't want to fight, and that's the thought stuck in his head as he opens his notebook, sliding the carnation in between two pages.]

[Jeremy leaves Rich alone for more than enough time to cool down. He's got to calm down, himself, and he's left trying to figure out how to fix this without anyone to give him advice.

At some point, while cleaning, he comes across a particular gift from the party.

Since it came from L, it could make things worse, but... maybe that's not possible, so it's worth a shot.

After quite a bit of time, there's a soft knock at Rich's door.

Jeremy's still not opened up to the Bond, not for lack of trying, but Rich can probably still sense his nerves.]

[From the other side of the door, there's the rustle of blankets and a grumble of a voice:] Jeremy?

[Rich hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep. There's a mark on his face from having his face pressed against his notebook. Great, he probably drooled on it too...

Oh, fuck, he has to actually answer Jeremy, doesn't he? He fumbles to sit up and head over to the door, quilt still wrapped around his shoulders like a fluffy cape. When he gets to the door and opens it, he's remembered what happened before he passed out and is left guilty all over again. He stares at Jeremy sadly, looks away awkwardly and shuffles over to the side to hold the door open.]

Hey... you want to come in?

Sure.

[Even if they haven't got a great track record of conversations in Rich's room. Jeremy holds up the puppets as he steps in, forcing himself not to feel uncomfortable.]

I know this is a weird idea, but just hear me out?

...uh... what are those?

[Rich gawks at the puppets, particularly at his own's goofy eyebrows. He tries valiantly to muffle his laughter.]

Did you magic up puppets of us? The resemblance is uncanny.

No, uh--full disclosure, L made them, but I think it was just a joke--but!

[Leave it to Jeremy to confess the one thing he doesn't want Rich to know.]

But maybe we can try them anyway? Like I think the idea is to pretend to be each other and then see things from other points of view and stuff?

[He holds out the Jeremy puppet, looking a little desperate.]

...these better not be cursed or something.

[Rich doesn't sound that bitter, though it mainly seems that he doesn't know how to react. They're cute, but Rich isn't sure if they're meant to be an insult or not. He also just doesn't know what Linden's intentions are with the party in general...

Still, he doesn't need to take it out on Jeremy anymore. He holds out his hand to take the Jeremy puppet, looking it over with confusion.]

So... what am I supposed to do?

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