middaeg | fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

Who: Rich and others
When: Morning and noonish, November 15
Where: Jeremy, Rich, and Michael's home
What: Rich and Jeremy's Bonding ceremony and celebration
Warnings: none

i. Bonding (Closed)

[Jeremy shows up at Rich's door bright and early the next morning. Despite how Rich claimed that suits weren't required, Jeremy still put together the nicest-looking thing in his wardrobe. His hair is slicked back, his skin is clearer than usual (where did he find concealer?), and he's used up a good chunk of his precious deodorant that he brought with him through the mirror.

The SQUIP had a lot of drawbacks, being an evil mind-controlling robot and all, but it taught Jeremy a valuable lesson: Jeremy cleans up good.

When Rich opens the door, Jeremy's waiting expectantly, hands behind his back and bouncing on his toes. It's clear that he's been there a while.]

You ready to go?

ii. Announcement (Open)

[To announce their Bond and to celebrate, Rich and Jeremy have opened the house up for any and everyone who wants to check it out--both quietly not mentioning how empty the space seems with Justine's recent disappearance. At Rich's suggestion, they've sent an open invitation out on the watch network to anyone who wants to drop by and offer congratulations.

Their budget isn't huge, but Jeremy's insistence on hospitality means that they've got enough finger food and drinks for people to try out. There's no alcohol.

Jeremy's still nervous even though the deed is done, so he's bustling around constantly to make sure that everything is perfectly neat, that they've got enough seats, and that nobody needs a refill. In his rush, bringing a hot tray of cookies from the oven straight onto a serving tray, he bumps into you. As he turns around to see who he's plowed over, he rushes to apologize. The niceties run into themselves before he even sees your face.]

Shoot--I'm sorry--thanks for coming!

iii. Wildcard (Open)

[Jeremy and Rich are both available to talk about their new bond with your character. Let me know if you want a specific situation!]

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[Rich raises an eyebrow, but if this the plot they're going with, he could have really ended up with something worse.]

Right. Right! Um, how do you feel about that? I mean, I thought you would be excited? I'm not sure if you really are, though.

I was excited, and I still sort of am, but...

[Jeremy trails off, thinking hard about what Rich's reasoning must be.]

I thought this would help you trust me more and it hasn't so far?

[Rich is really having trouble figuring this out. How is this supposed to help them understand each other? They're supposed to be using these to communicate, but if they understood each other's motivations enough to mimic their behavior, then they wouldn't be struggling like this. Were they maybe supposed to say what their own reasoning was?]

I think... uh, are you worried about me trusting someone who hurt you over you? Maybe that's what's happening? I don't really understand, maybe... because I was from your past so I don't know all the land mines yet?

It sounds like that'd be hard. I guess I should probably... not do that? But I don't want to make you feel guilty.

[Jeremy's visibly puzzled. He falls silent for long enough that it's clear he's not pausing. Presented with overwhelming, confusing info, he's zoning out--one of those odd habits he's picked up and not been able to shake.

Just before Rich is about to say something else, Jeremy seems to start, locking eyes with the puppet in his hand.]

Um...

[It's his normal voice, self-conscious and tiny.]

I'm sorry, Rich. Can you say that one more time in another way?

[Rich hesitates for a moment himself, unsure what just happened. He wonders if Jeremy is sick, if Rich said something so drastically wrong that Jeremy is finally ready to ditch him. He lowers the puppet worrying his lip for a moment before deciding to try repeating himself.]

I... okay. I was saying I'm worried about you trusting Linden over me. I get that you don't know because you're from the past, and you don't really understand where... all my issues are coming from, or why I'm upset? And I also don't want you to just... give up and not talk to him anymore. That'd really make me feel shitty.

...Oh. Thank you.

[Jeremy turns the puppet over in his hands, still not looking Rich in the eye.]

I didn't think I was trusting him over you. You didn't say anything wrong about him. I didn't think I disagreed and I was trying to do what you wanted, so I'm... confused.

What would have been a better way to me to react?

I get that. You probably didn't think you were doing anything wrong. And you didn't!

[He hastens to hold his hands out, to try to reassure and soothe, make sure he doesn't bring up something else to make Jeremy uncomfortable.]

Just... remember what you said about me being Cassandra? Predicting disaster and having no one listen to me? When... Connor talked to me about the SQUIP, he said stuff to defend it around me, kept insisting that it would never hurt me. It felt like what I experienced didn't matter, or that he didn't believe me that it happened.

It... brings me back to how I felt back at Halloween, when I was trying to find Red, you know? So... I guess that's just become an Issue with me.

[God, that was way too heavy. Rich has a gross lump in his throat, so to feign calmness he doesn't feel, he shields his face with the Jeremy puppet, making him wrap the puppet's arms around itself in a hug.]

Thanks for telling me what happened, Rich! I'll make sure to keep that in mind when I talk to him again. I appreciate you looking out for me! I also appreciate your very handsome features and big muscles!

[He peers over the puppet with a wobbly little smile.]

Sappy compliments completely optional, of course.

[Jeremy wants to clarify what he means without making Rich feel unheard.

Maybe Rich has got the right idea to use the puppets again.]

That's a good idea since I'm always right about these things. I'm glad you understand that I want to keep disaster from happening again.

[He holds up the puppet again, going slow as he tries to muster up the guts.]

But I know you've got your own issues with having your friends picked for you, so I'll let you make your own mistakes. As long as they're not too big.

[He moves the puppet a little closer to mini-Jeremy.]

Is that okay?

Hey! I don't... uh, you know you don't think you're right all the time? I think that because you were definitely right about the SQUIP, but... I guess there's a possibility you could make mistakes about other things.

So yeah. I'm going to give Linden a chance, because I'm way too nice to people who can be douchebags, but I'll melt his heart with the power of friendship, and it'll be okay! Because I know if things turn out bad, you'll always look out for me.

[The mini-Jeremy holds his arms out.]

So we're okay. And still Bonded? I think? Do you still want to be Bonded?

[Way more important than Linden is the way Rich chose to end that.]

Yeah.

[His voice is husky. He does his best to swallow it down and not embarrass Rich again.]

Yeah, definitely. I--

[He lets the puppets hug, switching to his normal voice.]

I'm glad you trust me that much despite everything.

[Rich smiles a little wider, feeling his own eyes water again. Stupid Jeremy making him have too many stupid feelings. He walks in closer to Jeremy, copying the hug himself.]

Why wouldn't I trust you? You're a survivor just like me.

[Jeremy scoffs, hesitating. He doesn't close the gap between them.]

A survivor.

...Yeah, right. If we're talking survivors, y--you're Anna of Cleves and I'm Jane fucking Seymour.

[Christine has tainted his reference pool.]

You and I aren't even in the same category of SQUIP survivor and you know it.

Uh... that's King Henry, right? I... geez, it'd help if you knew how to open up the Bond, so I could get some hints on the jokes I don't get.

[Rich hesitates, one of his hands pulling back up to scratch at the back of his neck.]

You know you don't have to compare your trauma to mine, right? That's bullshit and just makes you feel guilty for apparently not having a reason to be in a bad spot.

I want to open it up. I do. I don't know how to do it.

[He'd go in for the hug now, but he's worried that the moment's lost.]

I get that. In general. You're right. But your trauma, partly from me helping fuck your life up, versus my trauma of having fucked your life up is... not... equal.

You're--you're the hero who saved the world and I'm the villain who got a redemption arc in the last act. It's not the same.

You didn't help any more than I did, Heere. You were manipulated into the same bullshit I was and then gaslit into thinking you did it completely of your own free will. There's no... hero and villain bullshit.

Just two brainwashed kids who need therapy, right? But all we've got is some weird magic emotion sharing.

[And he's not sure if Jeremy is ever going to get the hang of that... though, if they figured out how to make up after that fight, anything seems possible.

After a moment's consideration, Rich lifts back up his puppet.]

Hi, Jeremy! [His voice is even more squeaky and goofy now.] I'm Jere-mini-me! I heard you were having trouble opening up your Bond! Lucky for you, I know all about Bonds and opening up!

I also know an absurd amount of Star Trek trivia, but that isn't gonna help us.

[Jeremy's not entirely convinced, but... it makes him feel better.

He glances down to his Rich puppet but decides that he's supposed to answer as himself. No point for mini-Jeremy to give Rich a tutorial, and he did just break the fourth wall.

Jeremy finally smiles, small and crooked.]

Uh. Hi... Jere-mini-me? [He eases himself down onto the foot of Rich's bed, relaxing a smidge.] It might help. I'm all ears for a tutorial.

[Rich is relieved to see the smile, and to notice Jeremy relaxing, even if Rich can't yet feel it through the Bond. He definitely doesn't know how to work on fixing that, but Jeremy still deserves the effort to be made.

Rich wiggles the little puppet's arms around as he speaks, obviously making the action as cartoonish as possible. If he acts like this isn't so serious, maybe Jeremy won't get hung up on bad memories.]

Oooookay! So the first thing you're going to want to do is close your eyes. I cover mine with my hands because no one gave me little felt eyelids! That's fucked up, huh?

[The Jeremy puppet puts its hands up to cover his face.]

Now you've just got to focus on what's in your brain. Think of it like a little house with a bunch of rooms for a whole bunch of different thoughts! That's how I do it because I have a lot of thoughts.

Just start going through the rooms and taking note of where everything is.

[There is a point to this, if the analogy ends up working...]

[Jeremy's so surprised by the joke, he lets out one loud laugh before stopping himself. He settles back.]

Rich, swear to god if you make some joke about coming in through the backdoor...

[He obeys, leaning against the wall and pulling his feet onto the bed as he closes his eyes and tries to compartmentalize.]

Who's Rich? It's just you and me here, buddy! This is no time for jokes!

Anyways, do you wanna talk about what your house looks like? Is it big and fancy or small and cozy? Mine looks like an apartment complex and all my thoughts are tenants who don't pay the rent on time.

But I bet it has lots of windows and doors, right? All houses should.

[This was funny for now. But Jeremy wouldn't want to be alone in the house with this puppet. Too many chaos vibes.]

It's got a lot of long hallways for Scooby-Doo chases. Lots of memory doors. Not that many windows.

[Jeremy drums his fingers on his knees.]

Nope, no windows.

Well, lots of doors works. Because the important thing is that your Bonded is at one of those doors, knocking. It's just a matter of time before you find the right one to let him in.

[The puppet holds out an arm.]

And before you say anything, leaving the door open isn't going to let the SQUIP in. It's a door only you and Rich have the key to. You've just gotta trust that it's safe enough to open.

[Rich looks a little unsure for a moment, even if he's still trying to play this off with a goofy voice. He sighs and moves to sit at the edge of the bed too.]

Take your time, though, okay? I... know it's weird, to sync up again. But it's not going to hurt me if you hear what I'm thinking or feeling once in a while, promise.

[Hearing the phrase "sync up" makes it all seem more real, more dangerous, and Jeremy can't help but crack his eyes open to watch Rich cautiously.

He squints them shut again, trying his best.

It's true, at least, that the SQUIP isn't going to come in. Not here. As soon as Jeremy went through the mirror, the glitchy SQUIP in his head went silent. Whenever he hears the SQUIP's voice, it's entirely imaginary--based on memory, not on the real superquantum computer in his brain.

That should make this easier. Right?

Jeremy is slowly curling into a ball, trying to stifle any mental objections. Door. He's gotta find a door. Where's the door?]

I can't find you, [he whispers.]

[Rich watches Jeremy and almost holds his breath, waiting to see if what he hoped would work had actually succeeded... but he doesn't feel any change. His thoughts and feelings hit the same wall as before, tapping steadily at a door that Jeremy is too overwhelmed to find.

...pushing him would only make that feeling worse. Rich decides against it, finally taking the puppet off his hand and resting it in his lap, while he shifts closer to Jeremy and wraps an arm around his shoulders.]

Hey, it's okay. I'm still here. You can still talk to me same as ever. I told you before it might take some time. So try not to panic?

I'm not panicking.

[He says it quick and defensively, but opens his eyes again. He lets out a slow sigh.]

I'm sorry, man. If anyone was good at changing their thoughts on a whim you'd think it'd be me.

[He inches in toward Rich.]

You don't have anything to apologize for. The important thing for me is keeping you safe, and as long as we have the Bond, it doesn't really matter what else happens.

Even if you probably want to feel like an X-man.

[He tries for teasing to make Jeremy loosen up a little more, pulling him closer.]

Just rest for now, okay?

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