middaeg | fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

Who: Rich and others
When: Morning and noonish, November 15
Where: Jeremy, Rich, and Michael's home
What: Rich and Jeremy's Bonding ceremony and celebration
Warnings: none

i. Bonding (Closed)

[Jeremy shows up at Rich's door bright and early the next morning. Despite how Rich claimed that suits weren't required, Jeremy still put together the nicest-looking thing in his wardrobe. His hair is slicked back, his skin is clearer than usual (where did he find concealer?), and he's used up a good chunk of his precious deodorant that he brought with him through the mirror.

The SQUIP had a lot of drawbacks, being an evil mind-controlling robot and all, but it taught Jeremy a valuable lesson: Jeremy cleans up good.

When Rich opens the door, Jeremy's waiting expectantly, hands behind his back and bouncing on his toes. It's clear that he's been there a while.]

You ready to go?

ii. Announcement (Open)

[To announce their Bond and to celebrate, Rich and Jeremy have opened the house up for any and everyone who wants to check it out--both quietly not mentioning how empty the space seems with Justine's recent disappearance. At Rich's suggestion, they've sent an open invitation out on the watch network to anyone who wants to drop by and offer congratulations.

Their budget isn't huge, but Jeremy's insistence on hospitality means that they've got enough finger food and drinks for people to try out. There's no alcohol.

Jeremy's still nervous even though the deed is done, so he's bustling around constantly to make sure that everything is perfectly neat, that they've got enough seats, and that nobody needs a refill. In his rush, bringing a hot tray of cookies from the oven straight onto a serving tray, he bumps into you. As he turns around to see who he's plowed over, he rushes to apologize. The niceties run into themselves before he even sees your face.]

Shoot--I'm sorry--thanks for coming!

iii. Wildcard (Open)

[Jeremy and Rich are both available to talk about their new bond with your character. Let me know if you want a specific situation!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[L seems skeptical, regarding the claim that Rich was "doing fine," but at least knows better than to voice as much.]

On paper that seems like a logical solution. But Bonds are highly personal... with a strong focus on compatibility. If you're intent on using the "marriage" metaphor, most people would agree that an arranged one isn't inherently better or more desirable.

[Jeremy scratches the back of his neck, fluffing up his hair under his fingers.]

Sure, but no one's gonna get hurt for staying single.

If... if a Bond goes wrong, what can happen?

[L is silent for a moment. He doesn't ask if Jeremy is particularly concerned about that, but instead tries to reflect his philosophy for attending this party in his answer.

Neutral ground.]

Inherently... you give something of yourself over to your Bonded. And it's true the other way around. It works well if you're both lending yourself support and complementing one another, but... it's possible for two people who witness each other's weakness and concerns to feel threatened or unbalanced by those things, or... for them to be unable or unwilling to take them on. In those cases, the Bond might become strained or difficult... just like an actual marriage, I suppose. And in that case, you might elect to dissolve it, also like an actual marriage.

[Jeremy's tenseness ebbs away as L talks. He's got a way of making everything sound like obvious fact, and that is its own kind of comforting--especially for someone like Jeremy.]

Right, right. That makes sense. But no weird spooky magic backlash? I can't accidentally make Rich go feral if I handle the Bond wrong?

[L rarely puts people at ease. It might take him a moment to realize that he sort of has, but when he does, it'll also make him relax a bit, too.]

No... you can't make Rich go feral. Only the absence of a Bond can do that, or... perhaps one that is so neglected that it might as well be the absence of a Bond. Remember that a Witch-Monster Bond is symbiotic in nature; you create the magic and the monster siphons it off before it can destroy you. Speaking as a Witch with two Witch Bonds... you don't have much to be afraid of.

Oh.

Ohhh.

[That's a relief for Jeremy but it finally makes him understand the scope of L's current Bond problems.]

Should I--[Jeremy moves his hands around, flustered.]--find a Monster for you to Bond with? Do you need help divorcing the SQUIP? Is that something I should be offering to help with?

[Being understood is actually pretty rare for L. He sighs shallowly as comprehension dawns on Jeremy, that kid he feels compelled to tell things to perhaps because he's all but guaranteed to not understand.]

I can handle my business, alright? I came to congratulate you. I brought a gift, as well...

[He gestures toward a table. Not the table, set up for the express purpose of gift-giving. It's literally just a table. There's a sloppily-wrapped present on it.]

I thought you might be able to enjoy it together.

[Jeremy's face lights up. He feels bad for not helping, but the subject change is welcome if there's no emergency.]

Thank you so much! That was really thoughtful.

[He moves closer to the table, squinting as if he can figure out what the gift is based on the shape or perhaps to peek through a corner of the gift wrap.]

Did you want Rich and me to open it together, along with the rest of the gifts?

[It was... definitely thoughtful. Whether or not Jeremy will still be grateful sort of remains to be seen.]

You don't have to wait for Rich. In fact it's probably better if you don't; I don't want him to take it the wrong way, or something.

[He gestures vaguely towards the gift, which is revealed to be, once Jeremy unwraps it...

...a set of hand puppets bearing uncanny caricature resemblances to Jeremy and Rich. It looks like magic was used to create them, for the level of unnerving detail, but it's hard to tell if the overlarge eyes and mouths are supposed to be endearing or mocking.]

Communication is an important part of a relationship. I thought that since sometimes, seeing from the perspective of another person is difficult... these might be useful.

[Jeremy's puppet looks a little wide-eyed and vacant. Rich's has adorable thick angry-eyebrows.]

Oh--

[Jeremy blinks down at the puppets as he pulls off the paper.

A smile spreads across his face and incredibly, Jeremy begins to giggle.

Once he starts, it's hard to stop. The cartoonish faces stare blankly up at him, goofy and oddball. Jeremy almost drops Rich's, clutching his own puppet as he doubles over.]

You--holy shitdude--oh my god! Did you make these yourself?!

[They look exactly like what someone with a very childish concept of human relationships (and features) might come up with, and so it goes without saying that...]

...yes, I made them.

[He says so stiffly, as if it's what should be expected at this sort of affair. And maybe, while encapsulated in the general aura of otherworldly bizarreness that L carries along with him, it could at least feel sort of normal.]

You find their presentation humorous? You haven't even seen how they're supposed to be utilized yet for their intended purpose.

[Maybe, once in early childhood, a therapist used a puppet to show L how to roleplay and resolve a conflict. Maybe he took it every nightmarishly wrong possible way, and retained that into adulthood.

That's definitely how it is.]

[Jeremy keeps snickering, but he gets the puppets in a more appropriately usable position as he stands.]

You're right! You're right.

[He indulgently hands over the Jeremy-puppet, readying the Rich one.]

Sounds like you're offering to show me!

I hadn't considered it, but... I suppose that I could....

[He slips the Jeremy puppet on over his hand, and... it turns out he can not only throw his voice, but he is absurdly good at it. While his precise and resonant baritone isn't quite like Jeremy's characteristic stammer, he does a bang-up job mimicking it.]

Hi, Rich. How's it going? You look angry today. Do you want to smoke some weed until you are not angry anymore? If smoke upsets you now, I understand, because I am Jeremy. We can eat the weed, instead.

[Jeremy's wholly ready to play along, but the smile drops at the word "smoke."]

Hey. No.

[He lowers the Rich puppet, unwilling to make a gag of it.]

No fire jokes. You weren't even there.

[Jeremy's voice is suddenly harsh and he realizes it. Apologetically, he raises the Rich puppet back up and tries to make it open its arms welcomingly, or as best an approximation as he can get, given the medium.]

Please?

It... wasn't a joke. It's why Jeremy suggested eating it instead; he was trying to be considerate.

[L's shoulders crunch a little higher, and he raises the puppet up like a shield or a mask.]

I knew someone... besides Rich... who tried to kill himself that way. I don't think it's funny.

[Jeremy doesn't think most of the kids at school even realize what the house fire really was. Jeremy tries not to think about it, himself.

In contrast to L's shielding, he lowers the puppet again, holding it in his hands and watching its angry face. The joking mood has vanished.]

It's not.

[He's quiet.]

I'm sorry. That's terrible.

[L wishes Jeremy would raise the puppet again. He's certainly not lowering his. Jeremy's own rather silly puppet face stares back at him with that same goofy smile.]

I've thought of every possible way it could have been prevented. Most would have resulted in my own death, or the deaths of others, and so... being sorry really doesn't help matters, at all. I can't ignore it...

[Which probably goes for Rich's incident, as well, and shouldn't be a surprise given L's apparent fixation on it. He clears his throat and imitates Jeremy again.]

Want to shoot some zombies? Pal?

[It might be the right thing to do to confront L and try to draw that story out. Maybe they could commiserate over pastries and get some kind of cathartic relief.

Jeremy shies from confrontation, especially when he doesn't know the other person well. He backs down.]

Shooting zombies is more me and Michael's thing.

[He holds up the puppet, not bothering much with making its performance believable as he tries to imitate Rich.]

But I do kick ass on XBox, so who knows? We can set it to multiplayer.

[It's an unfair expectation to place on anyone, at most times, to know "the right thing." This is actually fine.]

XBox?

[Hit Japan in 2001. L remembers it, though he hardly had that kind of time on his hands to actually play the thing.]

Yeah! That sounds, uh. Awesome. Cool... rad?

[The puppet's little hands move as though manipulating a controller, maybe a little spastically.]

Can I be Mister Chief?

[Jeremy grins. There was an attempt.]

You really want to play a first-person shooter, Heere? Thought you were more of a retro nerd. You don't gotta switch genres just to suck up to me.

[The Rich doll approaches Jeremy and, supernaturally hovering above Jeremy so that his arm will fit, pats him on the shoulder.

[The Jeremy puppet's arms are thrown out in a wide gesture of enthusiasm.]

It's all good, bro! I'm down to shoot the monsters. It's on like Donkey Kong! Should we eat the weed now or wait until after they're all dead?

[Jeremy would be renewing his suspicions about L being nonhuman except, as documentaries and horror films have taught us, no alien would be this obvious.]

I mean, we gotta let the tannins in the marijuana settle so we can get some of that rich weed flavor. What are you, a n00b?

[Jeremy's quickly abandoning his attempt at roleplaying Rich in favor of goading on L.

...Which, technically, only makes him more in character.]

Edited 2019-11-20 04:37 (UTC)

What? Me, Jeremy Heere, a new...?

[He's not familiar with the term.]

I play so many video games, and I eat so much... grass, you could call me Bessie. That weed taste is so dank and pungent.

[L has never indulged in any form of cannabis. Incidentally. Justine's potion didn't really count the same way, and certainly didn't take the unique sensory experience of weed into account.]

Wait wait wait wait wait!

[Jeremy gets out his watch and sets it to record, focusing on the Jeremy puppet alone.]

One more take for posterity's sake. From the top!

[Michael will just die.]

What were you saying about weed's umami?

[L stiffens, but keeps the puppet raised. Instinctively. He doesn't want his face shown in a picture or a video. Considering that's what killed him, and all.]

I said it tasted dank and pungent. Especially when the tannins get a chance to marinate, and then you just take a bite and get super high! I'm Jeremy Heere and reefer is totes dope!

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