middaeg | fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

Who: Rich and others
When: Morning and noonish, November 15
Where: Jeremy, Rich, and Michael's home
What: Rich and Jeremy's Bonding ceremony and celebration
Warnings: none

i. Bonding (Closed)

[Jeremy shows up at Rich's door bright and early the next morning. Despite how Rich claimed that suits weren't required, Jeremy still put together the nicest-looking thing in his wardrobe. His hair is slicked back, his skin is clearer than usual (where did he find concealer?), and he's used up a good chunk of his precious deodorant that he brought with him through the mirror.

The SQUIP had a lot of drawbacks, being an evil mind-controlling robot and all, but it taught Jeremy a valuable lesson: Jeremy cleans up good.

When Rich opens the door, Jeremy's waiting expectantly, hands behind his back and bouncing on his toes. It's clear that he's been there a while.]

You ready to go?

ii. Announcement (Open)

[To announce their Bond and to celebrate, Rich and Jeremy have opened the house up for any and everyone who wants to check it out--both quietly not mentioning how empty the space seems with Justine's recent disappearance. At Rich's suggestion, they've sent an open invitation out on the watch network to anyone who wants to drop by and offer congratulations.

Their budget isn't huge, but Jeremy's insistence on hospitality means that they've got enough finger food and drinks for people to try out. There's no alcohol.

Jeremy's still nervous even though the deed is done, so he's bustling around constantly to make sure that everything is perfectly neat, that they've got enough seats, and that nobody needs a refill. In his rush, bringing a hot tray of cookies from the oven straight onto a serving tray, he bumps into you. As he turns around to see who he's plowed over, he rushes to apologize. The niceties run into themselves before he even sees your face.]

Shoot--I'm sorry--thanks for coming!

iii. Wildcard (Open)

[Jeremy and Rich are both available to talk about their new bond with your character. Let me know if you want a specific situation!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Jeremy keeps snickering, but he gets the puppets in a more appropriately usable position as he stands.]

You're right! You're right.

[He indulgently hands over the Jeremy-puppet, readying the Rich one.]

Sounds like you're offering to show me!

I hadn't considered it, but... I suppose that I could....

[He slips the Jeremy puppet on over his hand, and... it turns out he can not only throw his voice, but he is absurdly good at it. While his precise and resonant baritone isn't quite like Jeremy's characteristic stammer, he does a bang-up job mimicking it.]

Hi, Rich. How's it going? You look angry today. Do you want to smoke some weed until you are not angry anymore? If smoke upsets you now, I understand, because I am Jeremy. We can eat the weed, instead.

[Jeremy's wholly ready to play along, but the smile drops at the word "smoke."]

Hey. No.

[He lowers the Rich puppet, unwilling to make a gag of it.]

No fire jokes. You weren't even there.

[Jeremy's voice is suddenly harsh and he realizes it. Apologetically, he raises the Rich puppet back up and tries to make it open its arms welcomingly, or as best an approximation as he can get, given the medium.]

Please?

It... wasn't a joke. It's why Jeremy suggested eating it instead; he was trying to be considerate.

[L's shoulders crunch a little higher, and he raises the puppet up like a shield or a mask.]

I knew someone... besides Rich... who tried to kill himself that way. I don't think it's funny.

[Jeremy doesn't think most of the kids at school even realize what the house fire really was. Jeremy tries not to think about it, himself.

In contrast to L's shielding, he lowers the puppet again, holding it in his hands and watching its angry face. The joking mood has vanished.]

It's not.

[He's quiet.]

I'm sorry. That's terrible.

[L wishes Jeremy would raise the puppet again. He's certainly not lowering his. Jeremy's own rather silly puppet face stares back at him with that same goofy smile.]

I've thought of every possible way it could have been prevented. Most would have resulted in my own death, or the deaths of others, and so... being sorry really doesn't help matters, at all. I can't ignore it...

[Which probably goes for Rich's incident, as well, and shouldn't be a surprise given L's apparent fixation on it. He clears his throat and imitates Jeremy again.]

Want to shoot some zombies? Pal?

[It might be the right thing to do to confront L and try to draw that story out. Maybe they could commiserate over pastries and get some kind of cathartic relief.

Jeremy shies from confrontation, especially when he doesn't know the other person well. He backs down.]

Shooting zombies is more me and Michael's thing.

[He holds up the puppet, not bothering much with making its performance believable as he tries to imitate Rich.]

But I do kick ass on XBox, so who knows? We can set it to multiplayer.

[It's an unfair expectation to place on anyone, at most times, to know "the right thing." This is actually fine.]

XBox?

[Hit Japan in 2001. L remembers it, though he hardly had that kind of time on his hands to actually play the thing.]

Yeah! That sounds, uh. Awesome. Cool... rad?

[The puppet's little hands move as though manipulating a controller, maybe a little spastically.]

Can I be Mister Chief?

[Jeremy grins. There was an attempt.]

You really want to play a first-person shooter, Heere? Thought you were more of a retro nerd. You don't gotta switch genres just to suck up to me.

[The Rich doll approaches Jeremy and, supernaturally hovering above Jeremy so that his arm will fit, pats him on the shoulder.

[The Jeremy puppet's arms are thrown out in a wide gesture of enthusiasm.]

It's all good, bro! I'm down to shoot the monsters. It's on like Donkey Kong! Should we eat the weed now or wait until after they're all dead?

[Jeremy would be renewing his suspicions about L being nonhuman except, as documentaries and horror films have taught us, no alien would be this obvious.]

I mean, we gotta let the tannins in the marijuana settle so we can get some of that rich weed flavor. What are you, a n00b?

[Jeremy's quickly abandoning his attempt at roleplaying Rich in favor of goading on L.

...Which, technically, only makes him more in character.]

Edited 2019-11-20 04:37 (UTC)

What? Me, Jeremy Heere, a new...?

[He's not familiar with the term.]

I play so many video games, and I eat so much... grass, you could call me Bessie. That weed taste is so dank and pungent.

[L has never indulged in any form of cannabis. Incidentally. Justine's potion didn't really count the same way, and certainly didn't take the unique sensory experience of weed into account.]

Wait wait wait wait wait!

[Jeremy gets out his watch and sets it to record, focusing on the Jeremy puppet alone.]

One more take for posterity's sake. From the top!

[Michael will just die.]

What were you saying about weed's umami?

[L stiffens, but keeps the puppet raised. Instinctively. He doesn't want his face shown in a picture or a video. Considering that's what killed him, and all.]

I said it tasted dank and pungent. Especially when the tannins get a chance to marinate, and then you just take a bite and get super high! I'm Jeremy Heere and reefer is totes dope!

[Jeremy lowers the watch. It's still recording, getting a lovely view of the floor. Poor camera work but he can't help it.]

I'm sorry, dude, I'm corpsing, oh my god--you--I sound like an after school special! But like if the DARE program was supposed to dare you to do drugs!

Corpsing...?

[L doesn't lower the puppet, but he sounds more intentionally like himself for the moment.]

I'm not morally opposed to drugs or anything. But I'm not usually trying to relax, so stimulants are really more my speed.

[Maybe even literally.]

That's why people sm--

[Can't say smoke.]

...aspirate a rapidly oxidizing blunt, typically. I assume.

Laughing during a performance. My girlfriend does it all the time.

[Yes, Jeremy still gets butterflies saying "my girlfriend," but we're moving past it.

Jeremy gives L an odd look as he keeps talking.]

That's why they smoke weed, you mean?

[He's genuinely only giving a go at translating.]

[L blinks, looking puzzled for a moment.]

Aren't you... meant to laugh during a performance? At least if it's a comedy? Except... ah. No, if you're acting in the play, and the character is not meant to laugh but your own emotions aren't under control, I can see how that would be a problem. It makes sense; it's the logical progression from "breaking a leg", in that the facetious advice wasn't heeded and you instead figuratively "died" onstage in an undesirable and embarrassing manner, and became a corpse. That's... the intended meaning, I'm sure?

[It had damn well better be after all that effort to reason it out.]

I'm glad your girlfriend isn't actually a corpse. That would be a problem. And also sad.

[He nods, head bobbing briskly behind the puppet. He still won't say "smoke." He doesn't want to get yelled at again today for voicing anything related to fire.]

Edited 2019-11-20 05:31 (UTC)

[These odd deductive tangents are starting to become familiar.]

I only know that's what it's called when you laugh on accident, dude, but that all sounds right to me. My girlfriend Christine is an actor. Lots of serious roles. She's been Juliet before so it's okay if she were corpsing more literally...

In the context of the story, only, obviously. She's actually the liveliest person you'll ever meet.

[L knows what Christine looks like thanks to his Bond with the SQUIP and the memories that have traveled across it. He still pictures Misa Amane, and sort of can't help it. Really, if ever a hyperactive Pomeranian were put into the body of a petite Japanese girl with bleached-blonde hair...

He shudders, just slightly. Almost imperceptibly.]

And you don't find that overwhelming? Lively people can be... excitable, or loud, or... apt to initiate physical contact sans warning.

[It's L's way of observing that they kind of contrast each other on paper.]

Oh, no. After all the time I spent staring at her and imagining her so much as brushing against my arm in the hallway, I don't think I'm gonna be mad at her hugging me.

[Jeremy is selective in his list of who can grab him out of the blue. Christine is the top of that list alongside Michael.]

She's loud and excitable and it's so infectious that it makes you want to go act stupid and smile about nothing and it leaves you breathless. She feels everything so much and when she's around, you can't help but feel it too. I wish you could meet her sometime.

I guess you really like her.

[Jeremy's puppet is still being held in front of L's face. Maybe it's actually easier for him to talk this way, even if he's not "in-character" as Jeremy. Either that, or he's concerned about being filmed again, and just preparing for every possible way his identity could be compromised and spread around.]

If I met her it would mean that she was brought here. Is... that really something you want?

No, of course not. I don't want her to be stuck here.

Although... actually, maybe she'd be into it. All the magic and the other creatures and stuff. She'd probably take this place over in a day and turn it into a utopia. Maybe she'd like that more than going to an arts college.

[He bobs his Rich puppet.]

She'd probably fix all the fights here too. She kicks ass at conflict resolution 'cause she cuts right through BS but she's super empathetic. And she's really adaptable so she'd do great as a Witch or any Monster.

[Jeremy trails off, imagining Christine as different Monsters. A cute tail is mandatory.]

Can I change my answer?

[L considers, very seriously, before giving a wide-eyed, emphatic nod.]

When you show your work, isn't it just a lot of changing answers on the way to the correct one? I always consider that when I'm grading things, at least.

[So much of the fragments L tells Jeremy in particular about his life just raise more questions. Perhaps he counts on Jeremy not to be perceptive or persistent enough to pursue them, giving him some sort of freedom to actually hint at honesty. Maybe that's refreshing; lies have been his defense against attack and death since as long as he can remember.]

[No one's ever called L stupid. Jeremy... more than once.

It's not that Jeremy doesn't notice or remember the little things L says, but he doesn't always follow up on them, especially if he's not expected to.]

You must mean math. Math, you've got to show your work, which is a pain in the ass because, [he taps the base of his neck,] it's easier to get the number like a calculator shows it.

English, if you start off with a thesis statement and by the end of the paper you've changed your mind, you get a D.

[Jeremy's earnest enough to make it obvious that he speaks from experience.]

But the thesis is, Christine's great and everyone loves her and you should too, the end.

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