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star wars: qi'ra

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Who: Han and Qi’ra
When: Mid-Septeril
Where: River Temese
What: Bonding
Warnings: Sappiness! Romance! Magic!

Han has been agonizing over every little detail of their bonding ceremony. As the witch part of this couple, he knew that it was going to be on him to perform the spell, so he ended up thinking about it quite a lot. The days leading up to the event was filled with a lot of magic practice — and learning the ritual perfectly — had helped him grown into a much better sorcerer than he had been.

The river would be the right place to have their moment together. Being by the water, he thought, would be nice when the sun was setting. Maybe even comforting for Qi’ra considering her connection to the sea.

Han’s had the clothes he arrived in cleaned for the evening. A v-neck dark gray shirt, a black pair of pants with the repeating red stipe down the leg and a well-worn pilot’s jacket wasn’t necessarily the most elegant choice of clothing he could have picked, but it was a quintessentially Han kind of outfit. Since it was so specific to his sense of taste and style, didn’t that make it the best choice in a way?

He would find out, as he walked to Qi’ra apartment to greet her.

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For being as hesitant about this as she is, she’s able to keep her emotions in check, smiling lightly back as they walk toward the water. The fact he had kept her in mind for this did mean something. It had been a very long time since someone had kept her wants in mind. Then again he had always known her best.

“That sounds beautiful, Han,” she commented lightly. If this was a thing meant for survival here, she was prepared to go in this with less emotion, but in truth things had been building between the two of them. And Han still seemed willing and wanting to do this with her after she lied and left him.

When they do get closer to the water, she stops just short of it and turns toward him. “Before we do this, I just want you to know that I really did want to go with you. My life back home wouldn’t allow it though. And you’ll know now anyway— if this bond is as powerful as they say it is.” Which is why she wanted to get it off her chest now. So it was less forced given the magic. “You won’t agree with it. I know. I’m not trying to argue. I’m just not the same girl I was when we were younger. I couldn’t be to survive the way I had to.”

It helps that there hasn’t been that much time that’s passed since Savareen. If Qi’ra able to read his deepest thoughts, she’ll learn that Han thought they’d have another chance. That things couldn’t just end the way that they had, although, now that she’s turning and making this confession to him ... he’s starting to wonder if that was being a little naive.

“I think there’s a good chance that you won’t think the same thing of me, either.”

It all depends on what they can see. In the time that she had become a lieutenant for Crimson Dawn, he had become a TIE Fighter pilot and a Stormtrooper in the Imperial Armed Forces. A role that wasn’t particularly well aligned with his intentions to be fair toward others. He had helped the Empire choke valuable resources from other planets the same way they had Corellia — even helped them drop bombs on unsuspecting villages and shoot at people who were just trying to defend their homes.

Did he regret it? Sort of. On the other hand, it had eventually gotten him back to her, which she might come to realize, was the only thing that mattered to him in those days.

“I guess before we do this, I just want you to know that my biggest regret wasn’t pushing you though that gate in front of me.” He blames himself, still, for every bad thing that happened to her after they’d tried to escape.

Edited 2019-09-22 13:51 (UTC)

Qi'ra was sure there was still nothing in his past that could compare to what she had to do with Crimson Dawn, not seeing how he reacted to Enfys. She doesn't blame him. If she wasn't so entrenched, she would probably be more receptive to their plight. Being on the other side of it, concerned with the loss in profits and how Vos would perceive any failure on her part.

"I don't blame you for that. Neither should you," she told him softly, but she knew he was going to hold that one close. Taking one of his hands, she squeezed gently. At the very least at least they had something here-- a new chance at something. They aren't the kids they were, but they both were about to see different sides to them.

There’s nobody he want in her place for this. He can’t help feel a little bit nervous given all the warnings that he’d received about the bond, but he felt ready. Comfortable in his ability to perform the rite. More than a little bit happy to solidify things with Qi’ra.

He flashes her a slight smile and squeezes her hand.

“Are you ready?”

His smile had a way of easing her, and she nodded lightly at his question. There wasn't a point in turning back now. She had weighed the options, had stressed about the outcome, but both of them were suffering under the affects of not being bonded, and with relations with Dorchacht not in the best place, it was better to do this now.

"Are you?" She replied back since he was the one who had to perform the spell. Setting the small enchanted light down so the light encapsulated them, she moved to take his hands again.

“Nah. This is the right move.”

Han feels a little bit like he did when he sat in the Millennium Falcon for the first time. When they were desperate to escape from the spice mines with an unstable load of coaxium in the cargo bay. This was a moment for him to shine, the pressure was on him and he knew just what to do (because he had practiced with more diligence than he’d had ... well, ever).

The first part of the rite involved a gathering of energy. Han actually closes his eyes and begins to speak in a language that Qi’ra wouldn't recognize from home. The magic swirls around them and make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. As he continues, pulling more and more power to them, Qi’ra will begin to feel magic as it connects them. Yet, it doesn’t feel wild, the way the moons energy can feel unfocused when it’s full — Han is controlling it all with a discipline that she might not have ever expected from him.

When the spell winds down; there is a very tangible magic energy, stable and flowing between them. As promised, it provides an immediate relief from the effects they were putting up with since they had been here, but also she can feel the flow of his thoughts and feelings too. At the moment Han is exhilarated that he had pulled off the bonding, but nervous for that new feeling of connection that they now have to navigate through,

Edited 2019-09-23 00:20 (UTC)

Whatever it was she was expecting for this, she was not ready for this. It was a rush from the moment he started it, and it was hard not to stand there in awe as Han completed the bond between them. She wasn't sure exactly what he needed to do. The magic aspect of all of this was still new to her. Qi'ra was simply trying to survive her own transformations here after all.

But he seemed to know what he was doing, and the intended effects seemed almost immediate. The energy was substantial, and it was like she could suddenly feel what he was doing.

She wasn't sure what to do now, but the only thing this even came close to feeling like what when Vos had died, and she took up his place. It calmed parts of her that she didn't realize were waiting on this. Breathing slowly, she looked up at him.

"It seems even stronger than what they said," she finally said when she was sure he was done.

He could feel it too; a sense that didn’t exist until the spell had started to take shape, which told him that she was close. He got the feeling that if she were far away, it would tell him that too. It was hard to put into words, exactly, but the feeling was not anything like he’d experienced at home. Not even like anything he’d ever heard of before he came to Aefenglom. ~~Unless you believed in those stories about the Jedi, which, Han didn’t.~~

It was a settled feeling. Like he was all of a sudden grounded in the world in a way that he hadn’t been before. This magic connection between them had made their wild energies a whole lot more stable which was a relief.

“It’s not the easiest spell in the world to do.” Han murmurs, blinking his eyes open at her. His smile returning almost immediately. “I would have thought there might be experienced sorcerers around to perform it, but maybe helps us new people learn.”

Edited 2019-09-24 01:31 (UTC)

She was impressed, grinning up at him. Qi’ra also thought that someone from this place would be the one to do the ceremony, but she preferred that it was just them. Plus it was good to see he was coming along with magic, as unused to it as they both are.

“You did well,” she told him with a small nod. “I did not even know you were this versed with it. Is it coming any easier for you?”

She could feel it in a way, much like she could feel him. It’s something she will have to get used to now, and in truth she’s not sure exactly how this will change them. It will— that much is certain. As much as this place has already changed them.

“No, it’s not easy.”

Han is smiling, but he also seems to be shaking his head in disbelief. Whether he doesn’t believe he pulled off the spell or doesn’t believe that he’s about to admit he struggled is up for her to decide.

“I worked really hard to learn it.” Han, who usually gave up on anything that didn’t come naturally to him, had actually studied something. “But everything turned out, so. I can relax a little now.”

“I never would have known. I am impressed,” she told him with a raise of her eyebrows. Then again Han had a way of getting things down. It might not always be the most direct or easiest path, but he was persistent.

“Do you think you will learn more?” Qi’ra asked, a little more interested now. She knew it was a hard pill to swallow, and she would bet that was half the reason why he wasn’t sleeping. The other being that he wasn’t contracted.

“At least you'll sleep well tonight.”

The thought of being curled up together floats though his thoughts. It’s not as if sharing a bed was a regular occurrence between them in Aefenglom, but it had happed before and it had also been the most restful sleep he had since he’d been there (even without the bond).

He hasn’t entirely banished the image when he answers, “I’m not sure this is something I can keep running from.” He shrugs, then adds, “I do plan on working on it a little.”

The magic was a part of him. As much as the transformations were a part of Qi’ra. They had to adapt to what was going on here and bonding was a step in the right direction.

The thought had crossed her mind more than once today. They hadn’t really discussed living arrangements, though their lives had ended up blending fairly well the last six weeks or so. It felt nice, like how things were so many years ago. It seemed strange to be in this place with him, but she felt so serene about it. Especially now that it was over.

“Did you want to come back to my place?” It probably felt more open and homely anyway. They could see how things go from there, though it’s hard not to think about the last time he was in her apartment.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t bother to act surprised that she asked or draw it out like he needed to think it over. Being with Qi’ra was exactly where he wanted to be tonight and any other night that he could think of really.

“Your place is nicer than mine.” He purses his bottom lip in a slightly thoughtful, but mostly sly sort of gesture. “And it has you.”

It was hard not to smile at that look he gave her. It was classic Han. So she offered her arm to head back toward the apartments, away from the waterfront. It really was a picturesque moment, something she wasn’t sure they ever could have back home. Here it was good though. Here, even if it was complicated, it felt like it was home again.

“We can order in if we want. There’s an inn down by the docks that does different roasts,” she offered though she wasn’t hungry herself. It felt almost domestic, but given the day they had, it was probably the easiest. Besides something in her wanted to just lie next to him. She’s not entirely sure if it was an original idea she had or not, but the thought is nice.

He accepted her arm, wrapping it with his and reaching for her hand. It was comforting to be walking together like this and it reminded him of the good parts of being back at home on Corellia. It had been so long since he had been able to go for a walk with her (and hold her hand) that he hadn’t even realized how much he had missed this feeling.

“If you want.” He murmurs, then adds. “I’m not that hungry at the moment.”

Domestic suited Han just fine. If they were stuck on this world together, they might as well enjoy the fact that it had brought them close to each other again.

“I’m good for now,” she told him. In truth she had spent most of the morning getting ready, not even thinking about eating. Qi’ra really had wanted this to go over well. Leaning into him, she could at least sense how content he was in that moment. She was, too.

“I still don’t know how I feel about this place most days, and learning to be half fish isn’t always the easiest. But this feels right.” She knee it now, with certainty. Whatever their life was back home didn’t have to be the same here. That felt like it meant something. It was hard to trust a feeling, but she did trust herself and she trusted herself.

If it stays like it is now, this could work.

“Now that you bring that up ...” he says, with a more earnest look on his face. “I would like to see you. If you’re comfortable, that is.”

He has to feel like she knows that he wouldn’t be insulting or make her feel down about the transformations, but they’ve so far been something he hasn’t seen yet. He’d be lying if he tried to pretend that he wasn’t curious.

“I think about you a lot, but even more so for the full moon.”

“You want to see me?” She raised an eyebrow as they approached her street, walking along the sidewalk. His cutiousity wasn’t all that strange. She wasn’t completely self conscious at least. Growing up with other species meant that the two of them weren’t at all surprised to see nonhumanoid beings. “My tail came in last full moon. I don’t think I’ll have any new features now.”

But if he wanted to see her, she would think about it. Perhaps the next full moon they could spend the time together again. “You mean since—“ They had hooked up.

“I worry.”

Han clarified. The full moon was hard on the monsters, no doubt about that. It wasn’t exactly easy for the wizards, either, with all the energy being given off. Having never seen what happens to Qi’ra during the change makes him that much more worried about her.

Though, through all the concern, there was certainly attraction. He had always been into her and the glimpses of the scales hadn’t changed that feeling.

Edited 2019-09-26 19:51 (UTC)

“It isn’t the worst thing I’ve had to endure,” she told him flatly, but truthfully. She was lucky it wasn’t particularly painful. It had just made her more feral, drawn to the water and the power it gave her. In truth it was why she had adapted so easily here. She had only just taken over Crimson Dawn back home, but here there was a physical power that came with her changes.

“We’ll have to spend the next full moon together,” Qi’ra offered before stepping up to her door and unlocking it. It looked similar to the last time he was there, though she may have acquired a few more furnishings since then.

Han visibly winced at the mention of ‘what she’s had to endure’. He knew that she had taken several occasions to tell her she didn’t blame him for what happened, but he’s not sure that he was ever going to let himself off the hook for it.

Still, he couldn’t steep himself fully into regret as the walked into her place, though. He was looking forward to being close. And yes, he was looking around to see if he remembered it being arranged the same way.

“I’d like that.”

She moved further into the apartment, putting the light down and turned back to him. She had adapted back home just as much as she had here. It was what she did. Giving a nod, she offered for him to sit on the couch.

"Would you like anything to drink or anything?" She was trying to play this normal despite everything that just happened. She just wasn't sure what to expect right now, feeling the apparent attraction between them.

Edited 2019-09-26 23:41 (UTC)

“No. Everything I need is right here.”

Han sat. The look on his face probably reminded her of the moment they had seen each other again after years of being apart. ~~He keep the look off his face if he wanted too.~~ He felt so much for her that it overwhelmed him sometimes and he didn’t even know what to say.

Right now, even content as he was, he still felt like he wasn’t saying enough or that he should have been doing something. He just didn’t have any idea of what.

“I know we’ve been seeing each other quite a bit lately, but I still missed you when it was time to split up again.”

Edited 2019-09-27 00:48 (UTC)

It was still hard not to be effected when he said something like that. Only he had a way of making her smile like that, and she couldn't even help herself. She missed having this ease, that knowing she could completely rely and depend on someone, someone who didn't just use her.

Placing a hand on his leg, she looked back at him. "I know. But I know I hurt you, and seeing you reminded me of that," she admitted, mostly because he could feel the regret she had now. It radiated through her easily, but it was clear she knew she had to. She didn't regret her choice necessarily, just only that things could have been different.

And they are here.

“Why didn’t you come with me?”

He wouldn’t have asked if her couldn’t sense her feelings in that moment. The regret that rolls off of her in waves that he just can’t ignore, now that they were so deeply connected to each other.

He doesn’t know if he can read her thoughts if her wanted too, but he’d rather he just tell him ..,

"I had a choice, Han," she said looking down at her own hand. She isn't sure how much of this he's going to like, but she knows it was coming. "There would be a vacuum without Vos, and there would be no way they wouldn't stop hunting us down. I knew I could further my career and at least keep you out of all this."

Maybe it wasn't the choice where love saves everything, but it was the one she made. She looked back at him. "I know you won't accept it, but it was the choice I had to make."

It wasn’t the answer he was expecting, honestly. The fact that she had said it would further her seemed at odds with the feeling that didn’t want to leave him behind. Yet, she hadn’t said that it was something he done, so he took some solace in that.

“Yeah, I suppose not.”

He put his hand over her’s gently and gave it a half hearted squeeze.

"It's... complicated," she told him. There were a lot of emotions surrounding it, but the regret is there. He took her hand, and her hand curled so that her palm faced up so she could thread her fingers with his.

"But I'm glad we're getting this second chance here," she said. Because at the end of the day, it just wasn't something they could have back home. This place was so different, but that was exactly what they needed. "I'm glad we're here now."

It feels complicated, so he trusts that is true. He doesn’t hesitate to reach for her hand when she turns it over and she’ll know that she does feel some comfort — either by the words or the gesture — but he doesn’t regret asking.

He needed to know and preferred to find out because she told him. He gets the feeling things are just going to flow between them now and it was better to clear the air now. He sorted his own thoughts, for a moment, wondering if there was anything he wanted to tell her.

“You know I love you, right?” He say, taking a breath he didn’t realize was going to be shaky. “If you didn’t know by now, I figured you should know. I’ve always had feelings for you.”

"I think I always knew," she said as she reached up to brush some of his hair back, looking up into his eyes. She could feel that from the moment the bond became real. That much she knew for certain, and when he put words to it, she could feel it so acutely.

Things still felt so complicated between them, but she couldn't just let something like that go hanging between them. "You are the only person I've managed to care for, that meant anything," Qi'ra spoke softly. It wasn't that she didn't love him, but the words felt so much more real than everything that was tied up inside of her. He had began to work on untangling it, more than he might have known.

"You're the only person I could see doing this with, that I trust enough. And what happened between us a few weeks ago-- I realized how much I missed having you close." And not just physically, but that helped, too.

“I can stay close.”

He doesn’t know if it’s too soon to try to offer that, but he can’t hide the fact that it’s what he wants. The moment the words leave his mouth she’ll feel the current of his emotions — deep and hopeful — for a chance to show her just how much that he cares about her.

“Or not.” He says with a shrug, though it’s clear that he’s not hopeful for that answer. “I mean, I don’t want to pressure you, I guess. We’ve taken a big step already.”

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