middaeg | open catch-all + closed prompts for August

[ Well, Waver doesn't think it makes for poor conversation at all, but he can take a hint... after several hints...

Ears sulkily drooping, Waver buries his face back in his drink, doing a poor job of hiding the flush, and takes several long sips to keep from snapping in response. This cocktail is much easier drinking, and the taste is almost good, apart from the alcoholic sharpness he's still getting used to. ]

...fine.

I'm not trying to hide it. It's simple. I wasn't a good Master. I could never be, I knew that. So... I relinquished my rights as a Master of that War and--

[ Even with Iskandar here with him again, it's not easy to talk about. Everything about those days comes with a tangle of complicated feelings that make his chest go tight, the memories a little too raw. It's better now; it doesn't come with the awful pang of loss, even if he still has to actively reassure himself that Iskandar really is alive. The Bond helps, of course.

Waver exhales, setting his glass back down with a thunk. ]

After that, I rode with him to one last battle, not as a Master, but as... a friend.

He asked me to be his vassal. I accepted.

[Ozymandias is perhaps a bit skeptical about whether or not Waver could ever be a good Master. Sure, he doesn't really seem to have the bravery required to truly take part in a Holy Grail War, which likely means he wouldn't have the stomach to do what's asked of him as a participant, but he does have his intelligence. Ozymandias doesn't doubt that Iskandar's strength was integral to his survival, but it would be a mistake to not also consider Waver's cunning as another important factor. Who knows what he might see or observe that other Masters might neglect?]

[But really what strikes Ozymandias is that Waver still stayed by Iskandar's side, drawing up enough courage and heart to follow him into one more battle. Even when the end was inevitable and he no longer really had a purpose for being there beyond what he developed with Iskandar. He was willing to bear witness to Iskandar's final glory.]

[The corners of Ozymandias' mouth draw up into another smile, pleased but also notably much softer than the ones preceding it.]

Then it is as I said before: Iskandar chose wisely.

[He takes another drink of his beer.]

[ This time, Waver's blush looks decidedly more pleased, the way his ears press down happily like he's just asking to be pet. He hides his embarrassment again in his drink, sipping at it steadily; the more he drinks, the better it seems to taste, and every sip leaves him wanting to taste it again as if to make sure it really is getting more agreeable.

(the reality, of course, is that he's just getting used to it... and also progressively more tipsy...)

Waver peers up at Ozymandias through his bangs, starting to feel more relaxed. ]

I didn't realize you'd know each other... [ Ozymandias explained earlier, but now Waver's thinking about that comment he'd made, concerning going to ask Iskandar himself when Waver had been wishy-washy with his answers.

It reminds him that Iskandar is here-- and that thought, the feeling of their Bond like a warmth in his chest when he thinks about it, just having that makes him feel so... warm. ]

I didn't think... I'd get to see him again.

[ The confession spills out, soft and vulnerable, still awed and impossibly happy. ]

[Although it was never in question, looking at Waver now, it's plain to see how greatly he loves his king. Ozymandias is not so surprised to see it as he doubts that Waver would have the courage to show any even mild form of defiance towards Ozymandias otherwise, but he is pleased by it all the same.]

How fortunate then that the gods have seen fit to provide you with another opportunity. [This time when Ozymandias reaches across the table, he pats Waver on the head in a genuine gesture of praise.] Continue to serve him well, Waver Velvet.

[ The pat is... unexpected. The color in Waver's cheeks deepens, eyes widening a bit in surprise, but he certainly doesn't seem to hate it. For a moment, he freezes up, too flustered to react. ]

I- I will!

[ The promise comes with the involuntary resumption of his tail wagging. This time, though, he catches himself and, mortified, leans back to pull away from the embarrassing petting hoping that Ozymandias didn't actually see. Dammit... he really needs to learn to control that... ]

Er... um...

[ Quick! A distraction! Waver grabs his glass and lifts it, offering to clink cups across the table. ]

Ch- cheers!

[It's a little hard for Waver to hide his tail wagging, even if he manages to catch it early on. His leaning away also really only serves to have the opposite effect and draw more attention. So, while Ozymandias follows through on clinking cups and taking the expected drink from his own cup afterward, he's quick to point out with a laugh:]

You embarrass quite easily, don't you? Unless you're really going to try and claim the red in your cheeks is from the alcohol. [He polishes off his glass, grabbing the pitcher to refill for himself.] There's no shame in enjoying something.

[Ozymandias has noticed that pattern. Anytime Waver appears to be excited by something or otherwise enjoying it, and it's pointed out in some form or fashion, he flushes. There seems to be a greater willingness to defend his enjoyment of some things, but with other things, Waver seems quick to change the subject or shift focus elsewhere. Ozymandias hasn't yet quite determined what drives the decision between the two outcomes just yet though he seems fairly consistent to defend his curiosity.]

[Setting the pitcher back down, he continues,]

You certainly seemed more willing to indulge yourself when we first met.

Th-that wasn't my fault!

[ He blurts way too quickly to be able to backpedal and pretend he doesn't remember or something. And he's definitely still blushing... ]

I think there was something in my drink or- or whatever... It was embarrassing! Forget it happened!

And who are you to tell me what to do?

[Ozymandias' tone is far from serious, snickering as he waves a dismissive hand.]

You have nothing to worry about. I'll keep it between the two of us.

O-okay... good...

[ Waver looks genuinely mortified now, as he remembers in unfortunate detail (why hadn't the drinks muddled his memory too??) how he'd acted like an overconfident idiot. And then gotten lost. He'd made a complete fool of himself.

...he also can't help but remember why he'd done it, or that he'd been excited to chase after Ozymandias both to satisfy his new instincts and because he'd been confusingly attracted to the man too. Not that Ozymandias isn't attractive in general. But Waver's just glad he didn't actually say anything even more embarrassing that night. He's mortified enough just having thought it. ]

[His embarrassment radiates off him in waves so strongly that even if Ozymandias were truly the least observant and most oblivious person, he would notice it. But noticing it isn't the same as knowing what's going through Waver's mind right now. To that, Ozymandias remains oblivious about some of the details albeit possessing some curiosity about what has him so embarrassed. He doesn't ask, however, judging that if he were, it would be a little cruel and be at Waver's expense. It seems hardly fair to treat him that way.]

In any case, even though you're a bit different than how you were that night, I'm glad our paths crossed again. [He smiles.] You're honestly a middling partner to drink with, but overall, I'm not disappointed.

I'll be keeping my eye on you.

[ Waver looks up again, having once more taken shelter in his drink only to find it... somehow empty... when did that happen??

He blinks, surprised at first, flustered embarrassment smoothing into the flattered kind. This time, he smiles back. ]

Oh, good, it would have been terrible to hear after all this you were bored or something.

[ He might be weird and easily flustered, but at least he's not boring! ]

I'm glad too, y'know... Gonna tell Rider about this. I went drinking with a Pharaoh.

[ Rider is more likely to be surprised by the drinking part than the Pharaoh part, frankly. Waver sets his glass back down, leaning an elbow on the edge to lean across the table a bit with a grin. ]

And hey. I've been upgraded from a poor drinking partner to a middling one. That's something!

[ One cocktail in and Waver's already more easily excited and talkative, and actually smiling, which is kind of rare. Maybe he's trying to be a better drinking buddy after all? Is this a challenge?? ]

[Well, well, well... Isn't this interesting? Walking into this place, Ozymandias was under no illusion that Waver really wanted to be here. In fact, he would go so far as to bet that if he didn't have information that Waver was interested in, he most likely would have refused to pay his debt. But it would appear he's warmed to the idea finally, even taking a little pride in measuring up even just a little.]

[Waver said there was something in his drink, but now Ozymandias is beginning to wonder if it was just alcohol that had this effect. There's really only one way to find out.]

[Glancing over his shoulder for just a brief second, he waves a hand slightly to their waitress, pointing a finger at Waver's empty glass before holding up said finger. They nod to one another in wordless understanding to one another about getting Waver another drink. Lowering his hand back to the table, he looks at Waver, sitting there with his smile and pride.]

You make it sound as though it's going to be easy for me to deem you better than middling. Don't get ahead of yourself.

[If it wasn't a challenge before, it probably is now.]

Eh?

[ Wow, he hadn't expected to be shot down so fast... He might even have been hoping for a bit more praise. Waver frowns (pouts, more like), crossing both arms over the edge of the table. He's not sulking, you're sulking. ]

Okay, so tell me what a better drinking partner is supposed to do. We're drinking together and having a conversation. Done and done, right?

[Ozymandias can't help but laugh at how quickly Waver begins to sulk. For someone who was once so reluctant, he's quick to take the bait.]

Do you believe doing the minimum is enough to earn high marks? I wouldn't think you would be so quick to assume that my standards are so low. [He settles back more completely into his previously relaxed way of sitting on his side of the booth as he takes another drink of his beer.] I'm not saying that I'm opposed to being proven wrong, but I'm not going to let you rest on your laurels now when you've only just started putting a real effort in.

W-well, no, but...

[ When he puts it that way, it makes it sound pretty bad, huh?

Waver scowls, resting his cheek in one hand so it smushes the side of his face. With the other hand, he taps a claw absently on the side of the empty glass, quiet in the ambient noise of the tavern as it starts to fill up a bit more. ]

I mean it. The question.

What's the expectation for going out drinking together like this? What else am I supposed to do?

[There's something almost...endearing about how earnestly Waver is trying. It's not familiar territory for him, but he clearly won't be all that satisfied anymore unless he has a better review from Ozymandias on his performance as a drinking partner.]

You're meant to relax and enjoy yourself. [The waitress brings over a fresh cocktail for Waver, replacing his empty glass. Looking to her, Ozymandias asks that she take the other emptied glass. (It seems unlikely to him that Waver will try more beer. At least not tonight.) She obliges and he thanks her before she leaves. His attention settles back onto Waver and he continues,] I understand that it may be difficult to do that in the presence of someone like me and you should be mindful of not being overly-familiar, but a conversation here does not need to be such a stiff exchange of information.

[Any conversation ultimately is an exchange of information, but there's a noticeable difference between when Waver is sharing in a conversation -- even through his questions -- and when he's simply trying to gather as much information as possible. For Ozymandias there is a difference in his experience of it, anyway. One feels far more like an interrogation or, at the very least, feels far more like he is a means to an end than anything else.]

It may come as a surprise to you, I am not particularly interested in talking about myself. [That's not strictly true. He obviously enjoys talking about himself with how quick he is to compliment himself even when speaking of his failures. But he is not like the King of Heroes where speaking of himself and doing so with high regard is approximately his sole interest or the quickest way to please him.] I asked about your experiences with Iskandar not to issue a judgment or to hear a prattling of facts, but to know more about you.

[What he chooses to mention and how he goes about telling his story to one degree or another speaks to who Waver is.]

[ Ozymandias might be getting the impression that Waver has a difficult time relaxing, in general-- and if that's the case, then it's absolutely correct. He looks a little baffled by this, lips pursing when Ozymandias tries to explain the whole point is unwinding and getting to know one another, but Waver nods along as if this is totally familiar territory and not a social skills disaster in the making.

When the new drink is dropped off, Waver blinks at it, wondering where it came from and if this place just does automatic refills or something, but before he can protest Ozymandias has already thanked the waitress and Waver's left with a fresh cocktail and a very insistent Pharaoh expecting him to drink it. Perhaps in a more mutually satisfying 'drinking together' sort of way.

Should he... cheers again? Waver grabs the cup and sort of just holds onto it awkwardly a moment, deciding against it and just taking a sip. ]

Ah... right. I see.

Well, er... what do you want to know then?

[ Not 'prattling of facts,' though, Waver reminds himself. Meaning... what, exactly? He's so bad at talking about himself. ]

I don't really want to talk about the War...

So I've gathered.

[While Ozymandias would prefer a better telling of the War than what Waver's provided, that's not the reason he says this somewhat dryly. Ozymandias is aware that there are a number of differences between the two of them, and it is those differences that color Waver's feelings towards the War differently than Ozymandias'. He's abundantly aware at this point from how quickly Waver is to change the subject to how barren of details his account is when speaking of it. Ozymandias wouldn't go so far as to say that Waver has regrets, but rather than taking pride in his participation, he seems pained by it instead. It's not a perspective he understands, but he has no choice but to acknowledge and accept it for what it is.]

[He continues, tone lightening,]

But you must have a life beyond the War.

[He doesn't state anything specific. Were Waver less prone to simply stating facts, he might be more inclined, but he's curious to see what Waver will do with little direction.]

[ It's difficult for Waver to think about all the things he might have been able to do differently, more successfully. Despite Iskandar glossing over it as he does, he knows what a failure of a Master he really was, and he's ashamed that it took him so long to realize it, putting his own stupid ideas and selfishness first for too long. His perspective has shifted since then, and thinking back on it is uncomfortable for many reasons. Then there's just the good old-fashioned trauma from witnessing so much violence and death, and how poorly equipped for it he'd found himself in reality despite thinking he'd be fine.

He's still not fine. But he's moving forward, and most importantly, he's not alone anymore.

But Ozymandias is expecting an answer, and Waver hums a noise to fill the silence, even though it's near impossible to hear in the noise of the crowd around them. His ice clinks in the cup when he stirs it. ]

I suppose.

I was studying at the Clock Tower. [ Another sore spot. He's all sore spots, this one. ] All I wanted was to be respected as a mage.

[ And now he's... a dog. So this is how that's going for him. Not that it was going great to begin with.

Waver sinks a little in his chair, ears drooping gloomily. He takes a rather sizable gulp of his cocktail. ]

[Ozymandias would find it more difficult to believe that Waver wasn't respected as a mage if it were not for something he's observed happening more than once. It's not that Waver's passion for the subject of magecraft sometimes gets the better of him and he becomes almost absentmindedly lost in his hypotheses and questions. It's not even a question of power either as he was clearly able to sustain Iskandar long enough.]

You don't seem to respect yourself all that much. [Odds are, Waver was not likely soliciting feedback from Ozymandias, but it's what he's getting anyway.] You praise the King of Conquerors plenty as is your duty as his vassal, but whenever speaking of any of your accomplishments, habits, or interests, all you tend to share are your failings and shortcomings.

[Ozymandias gestures behind Waver, indicating his tail.]

You cannot even allow yourself to express when you're excited without trying to immediately stop it. [He shakes his head a little.] I am a fair judge of character and see nothing in you so far unworthy of respect, but not everyone is capable of that. You should take more pride in yourself! Until you manage that, I don't foresee it being easy to get what you want.

[ No, Waver hadn't asked for his advice or opinions but he really shouldn't have been surprised that Ozymandias bluntly states them anyway. Rather, he shouldn't have been but is surprised, not ready for such a straightforward personal criticism. It hits him hard when he's already feeling low, and with increasingly compromised filters in place between his already high-strung nature and what comes out of his mouth.

Waver flinches a little, gripping his cup tightly and avoiding the Pharaoh's gaze while he points out Waver's shortcomings-- at least, that's what Waver gets from what Ozymandias is saying at first, and it's plenty clear in his wounded expression. ]

Wh-what are you now, my shrink? You don't even know me... I don't think you're a-allowed to make judgments like that, and it's pretty rude, y'know?

[ It would be more effective as a defense if he didn't think Ozymandias was correct, unfortunately. Also probably if his voice didn't crack. Whoops. ]

Why do you care?

[ He jabs a finger in the air at Ozymandias, or sort of at him. Sort of jabbing. It's more of an awkward flail in his direction, voice rising and a little slurred around the edges. ]

Besides, it- it doesn't matter anymore, does it? How am I supposed to take pride in being a mage when they've turned me into a fucking dog?

[In the face of Waver's outburst, Ozymandias... Well, Ozymandias remains the same as he's ever been, his emotions and expression not fluctuating or reacting to anything Waver says or does. He doesn't even glance around the bar even though he can hear that some conversations have paused for at least a brief moment at the rise in volume from their table. What keeps Ozymandias so still is both compassion for Waver's frustrations and that this outburst is ultimately perfectly illustrating his point.]

[Before he speaks, he takes another drink from his glass.]

[There is a part of him, of course, that wants to outright tell Waver to stop being so self-pitying. It prickles somewhat at Ozymandias' own sore points. It's not as though he doesn't have reason to complain from his denial of an afterlife because someone chose to remove his body from its resting place, to his imperfect form as a Servant, to now being near-powerless mage who succumbed so much to an illness that he lost a month's time to a sickbed. But none of that is particularly Waver's business and it would be both hypocritical and counterproductive.]

...I will forgive your tone and your assumption that there is a limit to what I am allowed to do, [he says, choosing to start there because intoxicated or not, Waver is still speaking to Pharaoh. While Ozymandias will not issue punishment, there are some things he cannot tolerate and allow to pass by without comment.] Would you say the same to me then? To Iskandar? That we are not the kings we say we are simply because our abilities have changed?

If you still possess the same knowledge and intellect you did prior to coming to this city, then I would say you are no less a mage than you were before. Your ability to cast the spells yourself is simply irrelevant.

[ The glances they get from the other patrons don't go unnoticed, serving to encourage Waver to shut up as much as Ozymandias's chiding. He slumps low in his chair, reaching for his cup again to stir around the melting ice, mostly for something to do to release his pent-up agitation.

The loss of control over his emotions reflects in his appearance slightly too, his claws and teeth lengthening, the fur along his back bristling, though that at least is hidden. He can feel it though, and hates it.

...still, he can't deny Ozymandias brings up a good point. Waver looks up tentatively, his eyes darker than before, almost black and shiny in the low light. ]

No... [ he mumbles, sulking like a scolded child and speaking to his cup. ] Of course I wouldn't. [ Especially not to Iskandar.

He sighs, the anger fading just as suddenly as it had overflowed, and rests his chin in the palm of one hand, elbow on the table.

Iskandar had told him much the same. It's what he keeps trying to tell himself, but it's hard, and it's so much easier right now to just give into that than think things logically through. ]

I'm trying. I've been sitting in on classes at the Coven, reading books, studying-- I don't want to be left behind, but if I can't actually do any of the spells, what's the point?

At least I could manage a little, before. Even if no one else thought it was worth anything.

They made fun of me for even trying.

I guess... at least no one in the Coven's done that yet. 'least not to my face...

[It would be nice to be able to say and so what if they do?, but the opinions of others, particularly one's peers, always matters to someone like Waver. Saying something along those lines and putting it so bluntly would be dismissive of that desire to be respected, and no doubt make him feel smaller than he already seems to feel. To be speaking into his cup like that...]

[Ozymandias sits upright again before sliding out of his side of the booth. He comes around to Waver's side of the table and issues a single command,]

Move over.

[If he doesn't move or dawdles, Ozymandias moves him over himself. Once certain that even Waver's tail is clear, Ozymandias sits facing Waver with one foot on the ground and the other leg neatly tucked close to his body between the two of them. If Waver didn't take his drink, he moves it back in front of him and slides his own beer over before finally coming to a rest with one arm on the back of the booth behind Waver.]

Look at me. [And he will actually wait until he has eye contact. Ozymandias' expression is not stern, but it's obvious that he's quite serious.] You said it yourself that you could do something before even if no one else thought much of it. But it clearly meant something to you.

You can still find something like that here. Why imagine if someday there is a mirrorbound Witch here who can't seem to grasp even the simplest of spells. Who might they turn to for help? Another Witch who has grasped all the concepts and skills necessary with ease or someone who might understand more of what they're experiencing?

Or think even beyond that, [he says, the hand on the back of the booth moves to muss up Waver's hair.] You won't be a dog forever. At some point, you'll return home and think of how what you've learned here might help you there.

[He pokes him lightly on the shoulder a few times.]

Concern yourself more with what you think and what is going to be of benefit to you. If the others are going to talk, let them for now. You'll prove them wrong when the time is right. But not if you continue to allow yourself to slip into agreement with them.

Wha...?

[ Waver is forced to sit up from his slump when suddenly Ozymandias begins to slide into his side of the booth, startled into obeying without protest. He scoots, glancing briefly at Ozymandias before dropping his gaze again and dragging his drink over. There's not much distance left to put between them, between Ozymandias sitting like that, being much taller, and the fact the other side is capped by a wall.

Waver looks up tentatively when told to, struggling to maintain the eye contact. He's flushed with drink and shame, hot and uncomfortable, and torn between wanting to hear the encouragement and being distantly horrified with himself for letting it come to this. Just because he's drunk enough to get mopey and let his tendency to overthink things and criticize himself out so blatantly doesn't mean he's quite drunk enough not to be ashamed about it too.

It's the physical affection that finally gets through to him. He flinches slightly in surprise, but at last looks like he's actually seeing Ozymandias instead of just looking vaguely up to appease him. Another time, Waver would have tried to shake it off or nudge his hand away, embarrassed by the patting especially in public, but right now his reactions are too slowed. Instead, he finds himself leaning in, ears bending down against his hair as if to give Ozymandias more surface area to pet. ]

I am... helping a few people learn. Those who struggle with the concepts and all that, or don't do well in a class setting...

[ Even Iskandar, in fact. It's not that Waver's bad at it -- in fact, he's getting to be quite a good instructor, even as he's still learning the unfamiliar parts of this world's magic -- but it still pains him that it's impossible for him to interact with it. He'd been trying to circumvent his own limitations as a low-born mage and improve his magecraft regardless, but here he doesn't get even that much of a chance.

And then there's the matter of going home... he's not ready to think about that yet, much less do so intoxicated.

Waver twists away from the poking, rubbing his arm sulkily. At least he looks closer to scowling again than about to burst into tears. ]

Okay, okay... stop that.

I... I get it. I'll try.

Just keep proving people wrong until they get it... or whatever.

Edited 2019-09-11 17:12 (UTC)

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