[Open] Why am I here...

[alpina]

Who: Alpina and anybody who would like to come across her - new CR, existing CR
When: Just past the new year and through January
Where: Various points in the harbour district
What: She's getting used to the fact that her body is changing...or rather she's not getting used to the fact her body is changing

Warnings: Mild body horror... I'm happy to tag back in either/any tagging style so respond in any way you would like and I'll match.

[ Early morning - she'll be here most mornings ] She doesn't know how long she had been sitting there on the side of the pier. The smells aren't affecting her at all but it helps that it's early morning so maybe it's not as bad as it could be. She has been there at least long enough to see the sun rise. She's been more and more drawn to the water recently which logically would make sense. She has kind of worked out what she is turning into. And also worked out that there isn't really any way of avoiding it as much as she has tried to downplay everything. Just after the last full moon she has taken to avoiding everybody that she has known from back home. She didn't want to be seen like this. Not until she's...managed to reconcile it all in her mind somehow. If that was even possible.

[ Temptations ] As the sun is going down or sometimes in the late afternoons, the urge to jump into the murky water was quite high. To some people it may look like she was wanting to end it all but if those people look a little closer, there was something else in her eyes. There was something drawing her into that water. Something asking her to come home. A calling she has never heard before but was getting louder with each passing day. She sits there for long periods of time just staring into the waves. Some days she's closer to the edge than others. Her gills haven't fully developed yet, not that anybody can see beneath her clothing so it probably wouldn't be the safest for her to jump in quite yet but the call is just so loud.

[ Suggest your own ] If there's anything you'd like to do with me feel free to drop me a message! Give me a poke and I would love to develop some CR.

Comments

[alpina]

[ It isn't that she doesn't know that this would be something she would need to do. More, she was trying to avoid it until she was able to learn more about it. Bonding with someone sounds like a big commitment. It isn't like hopping into a device and hopping to another time zone.

It felt like more than that. And yet Geiz...

Although, from her past experience, Geiz also seems like the type to just charge blindly ahead and think later. ]

It's about what you would be giving up to make the bond. And what if...this bond continues when we go back home? What about what we went back in time to do?

[ They have gone back and forth about this so many times. What do you do when you start to care about the one person you've gone back in time to defeat? She stares at his hand quietly thinking through the options. ]

[geiz]

Even if the bond continues after we leave . . . it's not so bad. At least you'll know what you're in for.

[ There's an annoyed look on his face as he remembers learning about feeling each other's emotions after the fact that he and Sougo had bonded. The bastard had lied by omission but he's not intensely angry about it the way he would've been in the past. He's just vaguely annoyed in Sougo's general direction ]

You'll be able to feel some of how he feels and vice versa though.

[ Which is something he's not too keen on, but he'd adjusted and acclimated because it's not like Sougo can read his mind. He can just feel the general ebb and flow of his emotions. So the positives outweigh the negatives in that case ]

If you want, we can bond after you and Sougo get bonded.

[ If she says no to that, he won't mind. He just wants her to know that option is available after she bonds with Sougo. But he'll also understand if just being bonded to one person is enough for her ]

[alpina]

[ There's a small pause at that suggestion. It isn't that she's opposed to bonding with him...she was just unsure about the whole bonding process in general. Even more so at the idea of being bonded to more than one person at a time.

How would that even feel? Having emotions invading your mind from all directions. ]

Maybe try one bond first.

[ Another small pause. ]

And I would prefer it if I started with you but I read that...it's better to not bond with someone that's...the same as you.

[ She chooses her words carefully. Calling themselves monsters was still a little awkward. She wonders for a moment if that's how those people felt back at home when they were changed. ]

[geiz]

[ There's no surprise in that for Geiz. He wants her to make a bond with Sougo because she'll be more comfortable with him than some stranger. And he knows it can't be himself because he's not a witch, which means he can't stop her from going feral. Still, he places a hand over her's and squeezes it gently ]

I don't mind. But . . .

[ He hesitates ]

You'll have to accept it someday, Tsukuyomi. It won't get easier until you do.

[ That she is a monster. Not a bad one. Not a villainess one. Just a monster like him where they change slowly day by day and try to cope ]

[alpina]

[ She stares out towards the water a moment and just enjoys that touch while she's mulling it over in her head. She doesn't know what kind of history she has come from. What type of person she used to be. Now she doesn't even know what kind of person...non-person she's going to turn into.

But he is right. What else could she do? There isn't anything she can do to stop this from happening. The sooner she accepts her fate then perhaps the less painful things will be. ]

I'm sorry. I'll go back to our room so...you know where I am.

[ She knows she's being irrational about this whole situation. ]

The water feels so peaceful though. Like I should be here.