middaeg | [closed] October catch-all

[There's a faint urge to move out from under those hands in the wake of the nightmare, but he's hardly fast to react right now, and the healing warmth once the spell begins is reassuring -- even if the laugh isn't, so much.]

You should tend to yourself first if you're to spend your energy. Better off to wait for the healers who stayed awake to come around to us.

[He reasons. Yes, it feels nice, but he can tolerate quite a lot. And who knows what internal injuries Xichen has, if he's coughing up blood and gravel.]

[It's an apology for his own resentful thoughts about Jin Guangyao. He knows the pain came from his own fears and feelings of mistrust, yet even Lan Xichen can't completely separate himself from the world and what happens to him. His hand draws back slightly when Jin Guangyao tells him to wait, but resettles after a few rough breaths. The stone still in his body making it uncomfortable to draw in air.]

You were hurt.

[As if that answers everything. He can only imagine how Jin Guangyao sustained his injuries. In fact, he can imagine it too well. He casts again, following the spell with a more important question in his mind.]

Did you see anyone?

Several people, yes. [Real and nightmares -- whichever he means, there were both.] But I didn't see you. [In nightmarish version or the person himself either. A small blessing, perhaps?]

[Slowly, a little tentative, he slides further up to sit more closely to Lan Xichen and examine his injuries, rubbing his back lightly.]

Please, tend to yourself too, Xichen.

I hope it was not for nothing, your own experiences.

[Whatever they were. He wants to know, but his own were bad enough. There's no need to get into it right away.]

[He can't help but feel relief when Jin Guangyao says he didn't see him. That Jin Guangyao might see him as part of his nightmare is something Lan Xichen isn't prepared to handle. He still doesn't know what to do about those close to him viewing him as a threat and potentially a monster. The sympathy at least gives him hope that they might have overcome some of those old wounds. It's always difficult to tell with Jin Guangyao. That is something he only learned after the temple confrontation, but now he can't overlook the truth. He has to take these signs and hope that they mean the best.]

No, I was successful.

[He slowly loosens that tight, protective hold on his crystals, showing them to his Bonded.]

I'm fine. [Blatantly not, but what else can he say?] Are you hurt anywhere else? Come here.

[He moves his hand up, reaching for bruises where he can to ease some of the pain. Strong healing will take real practitioners, so he might as well do what he can.]

[It's Jin Guangyao's turn to sigh, reaching out to take his Bonded's hand and place it gently to the puncture wounds that are visible instead of his own scales. Do please ignore the bruises around his wrist too, revealed only when he stretches his arm out.]

It's not so serious.

[Not so serious. He thought he was going to die, falling in an unending tumble. But that much is over, and he's still alive. Escaped other fates as well.

But he's more concerned for what injuries he can't see on Lan Xichen, and raises his head again trying to catch a healer's attention once more while new thoughts slowly percolating into his waking mind. Did Xichen see anyone? If his own experiences are anything to go from, obviously so.]

Surely you are not turning into a harpy, Xichen. There's no need to be eating stones off the ground like a rooster.

[Even if he won't ask directly what happened, maybe a cough and sputter at the idea might help clear out his friend's system.]

[He makes a soft, disgruntled noise as his hand is moved away, but he can't keep insisting and worrying Jin Guangyao. It's not going to help in the end, if Jin Guangyao gets the idea that Lan Xichen is trying to hide something by focusing on him instead of himself. That can only strain their bond. Not so serious with the younger man is practically a joke. Even small things, tiny details, are very serious.

He does try to laugh when Jin Guangyao makes his comment about harpies, however. The gravel and blood in his chest shifts and comes up, sending him into another fit of coughing as he throws them up. Thankfully this time there is less to spit out and one of the healers moves their way, both to help and to collect the marbles from the nightmares.]

Mm, would you hate me if I were turning into a monster?

[Maybe he didn't see Lan Xichen. But maybe it's semantics.]

[It's a small relief at least, to see him clear more of the gravel and blood; a help to get some more attention over their way too. As one of the healers settles nearby to cast their spells, he smiles a little. He doesn't particularly care for harpies in general, but even if Lan Xichen was becoming one, well, he had always been an exception in every way. To bring the thought to mind, well, perhaps he can understand a little why Xichen didn't shy away from his scales and fangs.]

I doubt that very much. What sort of monster would you be, do you think?

[Properly tended to now, he slowly pulls up a bit more of his long tail up to loop over itself, the blotchy length no longer a tripping hazard for the Coven members as they move between the waking Mirrorbound.]

[As much as he hates to be the one taking attention from the healers, Lan Xichen does feel better when the spells begin healing him, dissolving the remains of the stones built up inside his body. The small holes sewn into his flesh begin to close as well, still leaving him in a mess, but at least without such serious internal injuries.

If he were a proper healer, he wouldn't need that. If he were a proper witch, he could have defended himself from the start. Xichen's eyes raise to look at Jin Guangyao's soft and weary as he returns his hands to touch the injured scales.]

A chimera, perhaps. I would not be afraid if it were true.

[It doesn't feel so bad to ease into that warm touch now that he's sure Lan Xichen will be okay, perhaps slip a bit closer still for a few minutes of naga-justifiable warmth. Even if there were things that couldn't be public, it felt easier and easier for Jin Guangyao to find reasons to be close the longer he stayed in this world.

That response prompts an understanding look. He's not unaware of recent issues, and the nightmares cannot have helped. More seriously he adds:]

Still, it isn't the case, is it?

Edited 2020-10-05 05:09 (UTC)

[Isn't it the case? His mother and his father, two very different, conflicting elements, creating a child. In a way, weren't they much like chimera at home? As much as their father tried to deny it and their uncle tried to hide them beneath clean white and strict breeding, they were always wrong. Unnatural things. Unconventional compositions.]

No, it isn't the case. I am still a witch.

[He runs his fingers over Jin Guangyao's body, plucking at points like he's pressing his meridians, sending warmth through the channels that now flow with magic and comforting him.]

Were they terrible? They won't come here.

[A couple places, a couple times, there's an almost imperceptible tenseness underneath that touch -- if the two of them weren't so close, surely it wouldn't be noticeable at all.]

No, of course not.

[Except that certain individuals in parts of the nightmare were all too present in reality. Even if he wasn't being threatened so directly, they were still a real threat.

As was the idea that things that had been said in the dream might be heard and brought back. His origins had never been a secret in their original world. But here, as much as it was pleasant to not be dogged by those words, it was just another thing to keep quiet.

Even if Jin Guangyao lacks the magic that Lan Xichen has, as he can see his wounds healing moves his touch to settle on his bonded's arm where the holes had been, as if it had really been only a bad dream of the normal variety, rather than one that injured them both.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[They were terrible. Lan Xichen knows that, but he also knows that Jin Guangyao won't want to talk about the things that hurt him most. He never has, because those things are still weighing on him. If they weren't, he wouldn't come out of the dream realm with injuries like that. They are still threats to Jin Guangyao because he believes they are. Trying to talk about that might only make it worse.

He smiles softly when the hand rests on his arm. A small, comforting gesture reminiscent to ones they had shared before in another world, long before the truth came out. They weren't all bad times. Even though the reality was much harsher than Lan Xichen had known, even then, Jin Guangyao had kept his word and had not hurt him. That still meant something.]

I saw my mother.

[Ah. How that ties into the injuries he's seen is unclear, but dreams are so often fragments of things set loose in unfitting circumstances. He nods, with at least some degree of understanding from what Lan Xichen shared with him in the past.]

It must have been difficult.

It... made me realize that there are things I still cannot do.

[Nothing like a nightmare about being helpless to bring into focus how much you still need to work on yourself. He could blame others, but really, what Lan Xichen concluded was that if he wants to do anything, he has to become stronger.]

I should have been able to find you. I wanted to.

[As intensely personal as they were, if there had been anyone he could suffer to have seen his dreams, he would rather have had it be Lan Xichen than others. Though he's not thrilled at the idea of seeing his brother any time soon, it will be all the more uncomfortable for their experiences there.]

Perhaps that is the nature of such a dreamwalking, that it would prevent it.

If we were together, then we could have prevented these injuries.

[He thinks, at least. Maybe even that is a bit too optimistic, but Lan Xichen does think that there would have been safety in numbers to some extent. They have supported each other fairly well so far (when they aren't arguing). He scoots slightly closer, putting his hand on Jin Guangyao's back and starting a slow massage.]

A-Yao, did you notice anything strange in that city?

[It's definitely optimistic, but Jin Guangyao nods anyway. The muscles are still at first, but it was hardly a restful sleep. He tries to relax into the familiar touch and remember details beyond just the personal.]

There was feeling that there was some other presence lurking nearby. I know I am not the only one who felt it.

[He recalls his gaze flickers across the other present Mirrorbound, looking for possible judgemental eyes. With none in sight and slow to move into a fully comfortable position still, the snake half of his body shifts again, curling back around Lan Xichen and resting tucked up against his back, narrower tip resting on his leg.]

Do you think that it will follow us?

[If they can bring crystals out of the dreams, then maybe that dark presence can follow them out as well. And do worse. He felt that presence watching them in the city, but couldn't pick up anything about it. Was it a living creature? A spirit? He frowns slightly, leaning closer to Jin Guangyao for comfort of his own.]

I knew it was only a dream, but it hurt to see them again. I thought if I did, I would be happy.

[There is something tight in his throat as he says that. A wire pulled inside him.]

[closed] October catch-all

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