middaeg | (catch-all)(closed) the days don't stop coming

Suppose that's true. Just figured it'd be, you know. A good way to try it out. If you weren't sure.

[ Since he seems unsure. Doesn't have someone in mind.

Wants it to be someone he knows well.

Crowley turns his attention back to Aziraphale instead of the window, studying him curiously.

It's on him again, isn't it? He's got to be the one to say it. Fine, fine. ]

Could always bond with me. I'd say you know me pretty well already, and we're living in the same place anyway. Not much of a stretch, is it?

( aziraphale was going to explain exactly how ridiculous it was to forge a bond just to "try it out"—namely because it was much like dipping your toe into a relationship for the sake of curiosity. that sort of thing was terribly unfair to the other person, wasn't it? messy as well. what if they wanted to remain bonded and he did not? he could think of countless ways as to why that was a bad idea.

countless!

then crowley suggests himself and aziraphale jumps a little. )

Oh! Well—

( he doesn't want to say no. actually, he wants to say yes. this would immediately solve all of his issues and resolve some minor ones for crowley, but it isn't that easy to simply accept it. )

But you don't really need one, do you?

( but he also didn't like the idea of someone else bonding with crowley. it felt a bit like an invasion. crowley was—

oh. that's a bit of strange thought, he recognises. he must be tired. )

Well, they say it's good for... regulating magic or something.

[ The minimal amounts of attention Crowley had paid to it all had, at least, taught him this much. ]

Apparently it all needs to be used or it builds up and that's a problem or something, and when you're -- bonded or whatever it helps drain the magic. Little bit weird, right? Never heard of that before, but suppose there must be something to it. They give all sorts of dire warnings about losing control of your magic and exploding without a safe outlet. Sounds like nonsense to me but I suppose it can't hurt, right?

[ Oh, had he not mentioned the exploding part before? Never mind. It's probably fine. ]

It seems to be a bit of a "battery" situation.

( piping up. that is how he has been understanding it after having the whole discussion about the differences between witches and beastfolk. aziraphale had taken all of it to heart. including the fact that it was apparently very easy for witches to avoid any such issue. it was the beastfolk who were disadvantaged. )

I had it very thoroughly explained to me during the first few days here. By a very nice young man, mind you. He did explain that the bond between a witch and beastfolk was the best to make. As witches generate magic energy that needs to be expelled and the beastfolk require it in order—

( unfortunately, he is making crowley's case for him. the both of them were a different type where a bond between them was mutually beneficial. )

Ah. To stave off lunacy. There is the risk of going feral underneath the moon.

[ Ah.

Lunacy.

The risk of going feral.

Crowley glances sideways at Aziraphale, weighing up this statement. ]

Well, that doesn't sound fun. The lunacy bit. Can't have you howling at the moon, wouldn't get any sleep.

[ Gently wording things as if the problem is Very Small, Not A Big Deal, avoiding the dangerous areas of potential real emotion. This might be easier if they make it... less serious, after all. Even if Crowley's mind is already a frantic whirl of thoughts over... bonding. ]

( his expression tightens, eyebrows knitting together. he doesn't like the flippant way that crowley is talking about this. as if it were something small! something that was more of a nuisance rather than life threatening. )

I don't think you're taking this seriously enough!

( which was exactly the problem, wasn't it? he wasn't giving this the sort of gravity that it truly warranted. it didn't seem like that for himself either. although he did mention exploding, but it's hard to tell how much stock he put into it. aziraphale, himself, possibly wasn't either. he already knew how serious his own situation was from all the unwanted bodily changes and the upsetting explanations, but—

that wasn't really the case for crowley. was he even really experiencing anything out of the ordinary? he feels like he hasn't seen anything. had there been anything to impress the idea of how important it was to stay on top of his new bodily needs at all? beyond, of course, someone simply telling him to.

crowley wasn't very good at doing things simply because he was told to. )

What if you got hurt? By me? I mean, we are living under the same roof.

[ Crowley scrunches his face at that, as if dismissing it. ]

You wouldn't hurt me -- and if you did I probably deserved it.

[ If he did, one of two things has happened:

One, Crowley has performed some action that has provoked Aziraphale into violence. So he deserves it.
Two, Crowley has been reckless around Aziraphale in... whatever possible lunacy situation the changes might put him in. Again, he'd deserve that. ]

You'll be fine, angel. We'll do this bond thing then you'll have it all under control, no problem.

That's a terrible mindset to have! I can't imagine you'd have done anything to deserve getting hurt!

( he couldn't agree with any of that at all. did crowley even think about what he was saying? how could he possibly deserve it? it could very well happen simply by merit of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

his gaze flicks back after crowley when he mentions the bond again, clearly hesitant. )

I—Well, I suppose. You do also need a bond to help regulate.

( he would rather not figure out what it meant to explode or whatever other strange side effects witches had. clearly, it was not as bad as the beastfolk, but he did imagine it still wouldn't be a walk in the park.

and he did want his bond to be with crowley. if he were going to choose anyone. he did, truly. he just felt uncertain and conflicted about the whole thing. was it a good idea? he hardly knew what the experience would be like and it did seem to be a very emotionally powerful thing.

on the other hand, there is a part of him (which he still assumes to be from his tiredness) that insists he should do it and keep crowley close. where he should be.

he tugs at his sleeves. )

Yes. Just for now then. We should still explore other avenues, of course, but I would hate for something to happen before then.

Course, angel, we'll see you sorted out. Think there's some folk at the festival or whatever doing bonding rituals. Can probably go get it set up.

[ Oh.

Right now?

Apparently, right now! Crowley gives the window display a last glance before looking back to Aziraphale and offering him a bright smile, tilting his head questioningly. Well? ]

Won't even make you wear the dress.

[ Of course not, he'd look better in one anyway. ]

Edited (repetition ) 2020-09-05 18:00 (UTC)

( oh.

right now?

aziraphale had thought that he would have a little or perhaps a lot more time before the both of them were to actually go ahead and make a reality of it. didn't they need to prepare? wasn't there much to be done? it was a ceremony, after all! surely, they at least needed to have better clothes prepared!

while crowley might be smiling, aziraphale can't help but look a little panicked and cornered. he thinks about backing out or trying to stall it. that would be the best option, wouldn't it? another day, perhaps? week?

no, if he pushes it back, he might not stop. )

I—Well. Haha.

( he laughs, weak and nervous. )

It's not, ah, a wedding or anything.

( but, isn't it? )

Do you know with whom we should be speaking with?

[ A much as people keep saying the bonding ceremony can be platonic, it does feel... well. Feels like it isn't, but maybe that's just Crowley.

Maybe he simply can't imagine this sort of thing being that way because he isn't used to it.

Maybe because he doesn't want it to be.

He offers Aziraphale his arm, and tries very hard not to think too much about what they're doing. Going to ask about a bonding ritual.

To bond. The both of them.

To be bonded. ]

Let's go find out, shall we? I know I read that they're doing them. Maybe there's a tent or something. Always tents in festivals, aren't there?

[ He actually read about the weddings and handfastings being performed, and he's simply assuming there's probably less fussy bonding ceremonies too.

Maybe.

Probably. ]

( he looks at the offered arm with a great deal of hesitation, clearly internally struggling with the idea of actually taking it. he supposed he should, shouldn't he? they were going to get bonded and wouldn't it do to look at least somewhat compatible? it did, however, also seem like a bit much.

walking in there arm in arm! how shameless!

weren't people going to look? )

A tent.

( he repeats as if the word leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

he takes another glance at crowley's arm, frowning, before waving him off. he understands he should care about appearances, but he couldn't exactly do that yet. so brazenly take crowley's arm out in public. )

I am sure it will stand out. It seems like the sort of the thing that they'd like to draw attention to.

( he steps away from the shop then, heading towards the direction of where he knows the festival will surely be. it wasn't going to do them any good to just stand around here. if they could at least get to the festival grounds, they could inquire about where to go.

yes.

in order to have a bonding ceremony performed. today. )

[ Crowley feels, very briefly, a touch of loss at the way he's brushed off.

Right. Platonic. Nothing to it. No need to turn it into something it isn't. Different sides. Nothing in common. All that jazz. ]

Yeah, sure, bound to be a big thing.

[ He shoves his hands into his pockets, tells the ache of rejection to shut up and stop being foolish. Time to start walking. Walk off the feeling. ]

Right, sooner we get this done sooner you can start feeling better about it all! C'mon then.

[ Crowley begins walking at a brisk pace, glancing back to make sure Aziraphale is following. Walk it off! That's all he needs to do. ]

( oh.

aziraphale's frown deepens as he watches crowley stomp off, obviously bothered by that exchange. was it the arm thing? did he truly want to walk there arm in arm like that? well, apparently so if he were going to take on an attitude about it.

he needed to temper his expectations! )

Crowley-!

( he calls before moving to catch up to his pace. he pinches the corner of crowley's sleeve as something of a halfway point, trying to meet him somewhere in the middle about it, and to force him to slow down a little. )

Slow down, there's no need to start rushing.

( his nerves couldn't take it. )

I'm not rushing, I'm walking at a normal speed. You walk too slowly.

[ He does slow down, though, giving Aziraphale a sideways loft of an eyebrow then dropping his eyes to the hand on his sleeve. His gaze lingers on it a few seconds before darting away into the street.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it, Anthony J Crowley, don't say anything, don't do it! It'll all be a mistake and then it'll be a nightmare to unravel! ]

I do not walk too slowly!

( an immediate protest, fingers tightening on crowley's sleeve. he doesn't let go of him, however, instead offering him a small tug. )

Should we celebrate afterwards? It would be a little tacky, don't you think, if we simply went about our day afterwards?

Celebrate?

[ So they can celebrate but he cant -- no, don't interrogate the thought process here. That way lies madness. Crowley makes a vague sound of consideration, resigning himself to this whole thing being a constant flip-flop. ]

Yeah, why not. Nice glass of wine, maybe?

[ A guess as to what Aziraphale might be thinking. That sort of celebration? ]

With dinner, perhaps?

( that seems adequate, doesn't it? to perform the bonding ceremony and then have a nice dinner together. of course, they usually had dinner together but today would be a little different.

he can't shake the idea that the whole . . . bonding. . . thing was important, so it needed to be treated with some importance. )

I think it would be nice.

[ Dinner.

Crowley slows to a full halt, turning this over. ]

Yeah. Dinner be nice, angel.

[ He seems placated, at least, the last dregs of irritation falling away and the tension in his body-language easing. ]

Sure we can splash out for something nice.

[ Actually worrying about currency is such a pain, but unfortunately they can't opt out here. ]

( fortunately, aziraphale has been on top of the issue of currency here. he has been taking pains to ensure that they both of them could have enough money to be comfortable and he occasionally found it to be a little fun as well. not always, but it was certainly an experience anyway. they, obviously, couldn't live as they did before when any cheque could be resolved by the wave of a hand and a minor miracle, but it was a start.

aziraphale finally smiles, wide and bright at crowley's acceptance. )

We can afford it.

( he says, confident. )

I believe there's a very cute place not far from here. I know I passed by it the other week. I can only hope they're not too packed with the festival going on.

( then he spots an impressively massive tent just a little ways in the distance, decorated with warm colours and a very clear sign that meant it was indeed the tent they were looking for. he still thinks that this was probably not the proper way to do this, something akin to a quick vegas marriage that he always hears about, but thankfully, the tent itself doesn't seem to be too tacky.

it seems they had made some attempt at making it look official, particularly with the woman in white robes standing at the entrance who was clearly managing all foot traffic. no gawkers, it seems. probably for the best. )

Oh! Speaking of.

Edited 2020-09-13 02:56 (UTC)

[ Ah. This does rather appear like it might be it, and reality is suddenly flooding over Crowley rather quickly.

Bonding.

His mouth feels a little dry.

The tent doesn't look... religiously inclined in any way, at least. So that's... good? That's good. Means he'll be safe to go in. He feels like his pulse is racing in a way his mortal form doesn't normally experience. Is that weird? Is he sick? Shouldn't be this fast, should it? Can get sick now, after all. Is he going to have a heart attack? Crowley runs his tongue across his teeth, squirming internally, and tries to ignore the jangling nerves vibrating under his skin.

Act normal. Attitude is half the battle.

He saunters up, hands in his pockets, and gives the woman at the entrance his most charming smile. ]

Hi! This the place to do some bonding then? Saw all the wedding tents but, you know, we were thinking of giving the bonding bit a go.

[ 'Give it a go', as if it was something they might casually try and then change their mind about. He scrunches his face a little, fleetingly annoyed at himself, then glances back to Aziraphale for confirmation. Yes? ]

( for a shining moment, aziraphale had been under the impression that crowley was going to take charge of the situation and help direct the both of them through it. a sense of relief and appreciation had started to bubble up within him from that. he barely knew what he was supposed to say or do because for as much as he knew about bonding, he hardly knew anything about the actual process of it. what was the ceremony like? was there a kiss to seal as with a wedding? vows? a physical symbol to be worn?

unfortunately, the illusion of competence is shattered as soon as crowley opens his mouth to say something flighty and dismissive to the young lady at the entrance.

give the bonding bit a go?

the look on his face is incredulous when crowley finally looks back over to him. )

Please do excuse him.

( said a little sharply. he folds his hands in front of himself and steps a little closer to the attendant to take over the conversation before she got the wrong idea. )

We would like to arrange a ceremony. Would that be something that we would need to register for?

( is that how they arranged this? while he isn't clear about how the process works to make this happen, he is positive that there is going to be paperwork involved for it. the attendant confirms that for him as well. she explains that there is no appointment required nor a fee, but indeed a form to be filled out.

she turns around to partially slip inside the tent, procuring a clipboard from within. she asks a series of standard questions (name, residence, designation, and so forth) then hands it over to crowley to sign at the bottom.

"sign here," she says and then looks over at aziraphale. "did the two of you prepare vows?"

oh. so there is vows to be exchanged. nevertheless, it isn't a question that aziraphale has an answer for. he glances over at crowley. )

W-well, I don't believe so?

[ Points for trying?

No?

All right then.

Crowley signs with a flourish, then flicks his eyes up at the question and exchanges a glance with Aziraphale.

Who is looking at him.

Why would he have prepared anything? Spur of the moment, wasn't it? ]

Err -- nnnnno, no, nothing prepared. Thought there might be something... traditional?

[ You know, pre-written? By someone else? Who isn't... him? ]

( he isn't entirely sure why he had turned towards crowley, but he felt like he needed to make sure that this was still something he wanted to do. the topic of vows had instantly made aziraphale feel a little skittish and a part of him had thought that the same feeling might have risen in crowley as well.

if it had, he couldn't tell.

the woman looks over them and nods before handing the clipboard over to aziraphale to sign. she explains there is no need to worry and they have a very nice set of traditional vows that they'll be walked through when the time comes. )

Yes, yes. That would be fine. It would. . . Well! Traditional would be best in this case, I believe.

( as soon as they have aziraphale's signature, the both of them are ushered inside and instructed only to wait.

it's rather nice and roomy on the inside, but it comes as little comfort. )

Oh. This is much more well put together than I was expecting.

[ Would traditional be best?

Crowley has doubts.

What are the traditional vows? Be easier to judge if he knew.

No time to worry about that, apparently, they're inside now.

Here Crowley is, merrily digging his own grave again.

He glances around warily, trying to see if he can spot any religious iconography that might indicate he's imminently about to feel regret over being here. ]

Nice for a tent.

[ His eyebrows loft a little as he takes it in, trying to act as cool as he can.

Internal alarm bells are ringing. The kind of stomach-knotting alarm bells that tell him he's merrily standing on tracks, facing the wrong direction, and a train is speeding up behind him with no brakes. ]

Suppose it is an official thing. Do you think it comes with a bit of paper?

[ Since they did... sign things? Do they get some official certificate after too? Humans love official bits of paper. ]

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