middaeg | [open] if you could only see

[ Sometimes Zack's brain isn't quite able to catch up with his mouth, so he's relieved when Lightning isn't bothered by his surprise at her cooking skill. He's quick to follow after her into the kitchen, taking a seat at the round table that sits to one side of the room. She hasn't wasted any time searching through drawers and cabinets for what she needs, which means it's already too late for Zack to try and be a gracious host. Well, not much to be done about it now...

On top of that, he's distracted by what Lightning has revealed about herself. Just her and a younger sister? Then yeah, if she'd pretty much had to raise her sibling, it made sense that she knew how to do this kind of thing. Zack's childhood had been pretty easy in comparison. His parents hadn't had a lot, but they'd always looked after him, making sure he had a roof over his head and three meals a day.

When she questions his soup preferences, Zack laughs briefly and shrugs. ]

Doesn't everyone like chicken noodle?

[ It's pretty mild in terms of flavors, the perfect comfort food.

After a pause, he can't help but add: ]

You didn't have to go to all this trouble, you know. All the same, I appreciate it. And I owe you, again.

[She follows that up immediately with a shake of her head.]

Not for this one. You helped me once in a bind, so this is me owing you.

[For one more thing he has no idea he did for her, so she leaves it at that. Some things are better shared only when asked. Lightning hasn't been able to let it go, but she doesn't want him to dwell on what their friendship was like before.

She sets a bowl of steaming soup down and then takes a seat opposite him at the table.]

No trouble. That first full moon always hits everyone pretty hard. You holding up okay?

[ He helped her? It's another hint about a past that he can't remember, and while Zack hasn't wanted to belabor that point, of course he wants to know what Lightning is referring to. He's the sort of person who will do whatever he can to help others out, but it could be anything from bailing her out in the Wilde to something even more dire.

When the soup is set down in front of him, Zack gets a whiff and his stomach immediately growls. He doesn't waste any time as he spoons a hefty bite of broth, noodles, and chicken into his mouth. ]

Mmm! [ It's a simple enough dish, but it's homemade and delicious. He has to take a moment to appreciate it, nodding to himself before he considers Lightning's question. ] Think I'll be all right. I'm just drained, but mainly relieved that I didn't hurt anyone while I was out of my mind. [ At least nothing beyond a few shallow scratches, anyway.

He has another spoonful of soup and then rests his chin in his hand, his elbow propped up on the table. ]

I should've made a bond with Cloud before all this, that was my mistake. We'll have to look into doing that this month.

[ Zack hadn't grasped the severity of the situation and what might happen to him if he dragged his feet too much. He should have never put things off, but now that lesson has been learned. ]

[It's comforting to know that he hadn't caused any major injuries during the full moon... She can't begin to imagine how guilt-ridden she'd be if it were her in their shoes, and the wound on her leg from Geralt's giant wolf teeth throbs dully to remind her that it's still there. If it were her that caused that harm on someone, she wouldn't ever be able to forgive herself, even if she can find it in her to forgive them.

She seems pleased that he's enjoying the soup, but something about what he says has her immediately directing her eyes elsewhere.]

Cloud's your friend?

[She remembers him talking about the guy with the weird name.

Lightning's arms fold across her chest and she deflates with elbows banging on the table.]

He a witch?

[ Oh. Zack probably shouldn't have assumed, but he would have figured he'd have mentioned Cloud to Lightning at some point. Especially with the whole name thing, which is still kind of funny. Then again, when he'd been here before Cloud hadn't yet arrived, right? So maybe it just hadn't come up. ]

Yeah, he's a good friend of mine. From home. [ Everything the two of them endured together would be difficult to put into words, so he leaves it at that. ] He's my roommate here, too. He's just sleeping right now.

[ Nocturnal and all that. And that turns out to be a perfect segue into Lightning's next question. Zack shakes his head. ]

Nope, he's a Turnskin. Which is why he's asleep in the middle of the day. Otherwise I'd make him him say hi and get some soup.

[ Zack grins just at the thought. For all that Cloud's grown, he's still an awkward person when it comes to a lot of social interactions. Getting him to make some new friends would probably do him some good.

Instead, Zack gets all the soup to himself, and doesn't hesitate to have another large spoonful. ]

[Her finger beats gently against her arm—the only sign of restlessness about her, while her eyes fixate on the ripples in his soup bowl.]

It's fine. Another time, maybe.

[Lightning is awkward about making friends too, so she wouldn't mind meeting him someday. If he's important to Zack, then she doesn't doubt that he's a good guy... someone trustworthy. He'd told her about him before, briefly, but besides the name she hadn't been given much else. It's good to know that he's found not just a place with him, but a bond as well. Someone he can trust with all of the baggage that comes with it.

Speaking of...]

I know it's not my business, but... [Her fidgeting stops.] You're gonna need a witch eventually. Not that I know much about how that stuff works, but I hear it helps.

[ There should be plenty of time to arrange a meeting when Zack isn't half-dead from the night before, it's true. He'd be curious to see how Lightning and Cloud would get along, honestly, but it's something he can worry about later on.

The segue into needing a bond with a Witch isn't exactly elegant on Lightning's part, but she's not wrong. Zack pauses halfway to placing his spoon in the bowl of soup again, glancing up to look her over for a moment before focusing in on his food again.

Is she implying something? Not that he'd want to assume. ]

Yeah, I know bonding with Cloud is more of a stop-gap measure. There was someone else here from home who was a Witch, and I was planning on bonding with her too, but she's not here anymore.

[ His tone of voice is purposefully neutral, almost monotone, when he speaks of Aerith. That wound is still fresh, and deep. He doesn't want to let on just how much it hurts.

Another bite of soup, and then he carries on. ]

So! Need a Plan B, I guess. How about you? Made any bonds yet?

[She watches his expression carefully when he brings up a former Witch. She doesn't know who this is or what she meant to him, but she must have been important, too... if he was ready to enter a bond with her right off the bat. Another from his world, maybe? That's a shitty deal. Always is, and probably not something he'd rather talk about over a bowl of soup.

And when he returns to it, Lightning goes on pretending like she hadn't felt that pang of guilt just now.]

Not yet. Got some plans, but nothing set in stone.

[As in, she doesn't know when or how, or what's involved in bonding with someone? Karin had been on the list of potential bondmates for a while but was the first to ask, and she'd agreed on the spot, but past that... well, they're both just as clueless as the other.

That being said, she's still... considering... Her eyes flick to Zack again, but dart away immediately. Hm.]

Gonna need a couple more, though. Wanna avoid what happened last time. [She laughs, embarrassed to even be admitting this.] Got plenty of magic in me, but there was nowhere for it to go. Dunno if they ever tell you what happens to witches who refuse to bond...

[ Zack can understand the hesitance. He and Cloud had talked about bonding early on, but had dragged their feet on pulling the trigger, which is how last night had happened. It's one thing to agree to it and another to actually go through the whole process, but Zack suspects experiencing it the first time will at least make subsequent bonding processes easier. He'll know what he's in for, in any case.

They seem to keep catching each other's gazes and then immediately averting their eyes, though maybe Zack's just imagining that. He doesn't want to put Lightning on the spot right now, but he does file her away as a Witch he might consider bonding with, moving forward. One thing at a time.

Again, she references a last time, offering more details now. Zack frowns, nodding slowly. ]

I have some idea of what happens, but I haven't seen it for myself. You're not able to contain all that power, right?

[ He prompts her to share what happened. Given what he'd just gone through, he's got no intention of judging. It seems like this is the sort of thing that can happen to anyone who's not too careful, and is pretty common given how bonding is such a huge ask. ]

Yeah. It kinda took over.

[In her experience anyway. She figures it probably differs between witches, depending on the kinds of magic they've tried to use.]

Was forced to dive headfirst into it without a bond or any practice. Took a job outside the city to get rid of some cwyld, and I underestimated how much magic I'd need to get rid of 'em. Friend and I ended up in a bit of a pinch while we were out there... [She glances at him pointedly, neither confirming or denying if that friend was him.] We had to do something to get rid of it, so I used whatever magic I could to kill that stupid thing.

[And thank Etro it worked. If she hadn't, then they could have both ended up infected. Not on her watch.]

Went downhill from there. It was like that magic was all I could feel.

[Lightning stretches an arm across the table and rolls up the sleeve of her coat. Scattered across her skin is a map of lightly glowing purple and red veins, hardly visible in the light but still obvious enough to see if he looks closely. She's had to use her magic a few times in the recent weeks to fend off feral wolves and corporeal blizzards, and she has a hunch that it's going to pick up right where it left off if she isn't careful.]

It hurt like hell. Felt like I was gonna burst, and sometimes, magic'd just happen without me wanting it to.

[ While Zack doesn't see why Lightning has to remain coy about whether or not it was him who was with her, chances are that she just don't want to make him feel weird about it. Sure, he wishes that he could remember this as well as she does, but he also isn't going to hold it against her for wanting to bring him up to speed.

So they'd been forced into a situation that maybe hadn't been life or death, but had been close enough to it that Lightning had been forced to use her magic -- a lot of it, or at least more of it than she was used to. That's when everything had boiled over.

When she holds her arm out, Zack sets his spoon down. His bowl of soup is already mostly finished, so he leans forward, half-standing from his seat so he can get a good look at those veins -- which seem to be glowing, just slightly. It's the first time he's seen anything like it here, not that he's been getting up close and personal with people's arms until now. ]

Huh.

[ It isn't any less dangerous than going feral, really. It was still a loss of control that could lead to the people around you getting hurt. Had Zack been caught up in that? ]

So how did you stop it?

[ He watches her face closely. He'd helped somehow, hadn't he? ]

[So, he does want to know more. She'd been hesitant to share everything about their past, afraid that it might give him preconceptions of what their relationship had been like before he could make a decision on that himself, but the more she shares, the more he seems to want to know... and it isn't fair for her to deny him that, either.

She withdraws her arm but rolls her other sleeve up to match it. With that out in the open, she feels less ashamed of it now.]

I didn't. Not really.

[Lightning never did find herself a bond, not even temporary, to fix it... She didn't even bother to practice her magic either.]

I was trying to hide, but you found me anyway. Yelled at me to get some help, and some rest. I hadn't slept in days... It was hurting so much that I couldn't sit still.

[She had resented him a little for getting so upset with her, but only because she was too stubborn to admit that he was right about it.]

Eventually, I couldn't take it. I needed... [She exhales a sharp breath.] I just needed someone I could trust to keep an eye on me. Get me help when I was too stubborn to get it myself when it got real bad. You were right there, ready.

[ As frustrating as it might be for Zack to have to hear about all of this and have not the slightest bit of memory jogged, he'd still rather know than remain in the dark about it. He's relieved that Lightning is comfortable with telling him now, though he can understand why she didn't lead with any of this during their first few talks.

Odd as it is to know he did something without being able to recall it, he takes the words to heart, nodding firmly before he collects his now empty bowl and takes it to the sink. ]

And I'd do it all again, if it came to that. But I'm hoping it won't. [ After depositing the bowl, he turns himself around to lean up against the counter and pins Lightning down with his gaze. ] Hope you can figure out a bond soon. Even if it's with another witch, it's better than nothing.

[ A temporary bonding potion would give her some relief too, but it's temporary for a reason. She's going to need to figure out something more permanent, and while he isn't going to put her in an awkward position by making any offers now, the fact remains that they could both benefit from a bond.

Actually going that extra step to suggest it or ask for it is the hard part, though. ]

[Any bond would be better than no bond, but she isn't ready to take that kind of leap of faith. For now, it's enough that Zack knows that Lightning can trust him, and maybe further down the road, she'll muster up the courage to do something with that trust, but in her own eyes, it's delicate and she wants to treat it with as much care as possible. No matter what he says to reassure her, she did almost screw it up once.

Lightning remains seated while he wanders over to the sink, and somehow manages to level her gaze with his when he turns it back around to her, a smile trying to emerge at the corner of her lip.]

Glad to hear it. [Genuinely. And she would do the same, but thankfully, she isn't planning on letting it get that far this time.] You ever need anything... even if it's just a real good bowl of soup, all you gotta do is ask. Hope I can do the same.

[There's an awkward second of silence that hovers over Lightning, weighing down on her even as she tries to push herself up from the chair, and her eyes dart to the sink, searching for something else to talk about with all that said.]

How was it?

'Course you can.

[ Zack's nature of doing everything in his power to help others probably goes without saying at this point, and while he's the sort who'll offer aid even to strangers, his bond is that much stronger with friends. Of which Lightning is one, and he really hopes he doesn't have to spell that out. Acquaintances don't stop by with offerings of soup, after all.

Before he can make some sort of derogatory comment about his own cooking skill or lack thereof, Lightning asks what he thought of her soup. His mouth twitches and he casts a glance at his bowl, sitting in the sink, almost not looking like it needs to be cleaned at all given that there's barely a trace of anything left in it. ]

Oh, I hated it. That's why I licked it clean, right?

[ He grins, then heads back over to sit at the table again. ]

Seriously... If there's any leftovers, I'm shameless enough to ask if I can take 'em off your hands.

[It doesn't need saying, but it still is nice to hear that not much has changed. Knowing that for certain makes this all easier for her to navigate, and maybe she doesn't need to be as sensitive or careful about it anymore. There isn't much else to share, though—that was the biggest reason for her trusting him—so besides that, the reasons for their unlikely friendship are mostly obvious.]

Thought you said that you hated it. Guess this'll be the last time I ever feed you.

[Oh no. What a shame!!!

With all of that out of the way and aired out between them, Lightning feels a little more at ease, relaxing her shoulders and slumping back against the chair.]

Too bad, I always make too much for a house with three other women... [If anyone's even home. Well, maybe Rikku is the exception... They're all a bunch of busybodies, never sitting still for long.] Who's gonna eat all the steaks or drink all the beers?

[ Lightning taking his teasing comment and running with it is the last bit of proof that Zack needed when it came to feeling at ease in their friendship, and he slaps a hand over his heart as if he's just been struck, playing along with the ruse.

This talk of steak and beer is too tempting for him to just pass up, though. His eyes glint, somehow managing to still work up an appetite after polishing off a bowl of soup. ]

Maybe I'll just have to swing by out of the goodness of my heart and help you out with that, sometime...

[ Though before he gets too deep into inviting himself over to Lightning's place for dinner, he remembers himself. Straightening in his seat, he holds one finger up. ]

Gotta take you out for a few drinks first, though! I haven't forgotten. Just... [ He heaves out a sigh and drags a hand back through his hair, freezing when his fingers brush over feathers. That's going to take some getting used to. ] When I don't feel like I got run over by a truck, all right?

[He'd be doing her a favour, and out of the goodness of his heart too!? If they're not careful, they may just find themselves falling into an endless spiral of owing each other drinks for things that they'll bleed their wallets dry before they're done.

She had forgotten about the feathers for the time being, reminded only when his fingers rustle them in his hair, and her smile fades into a worried frown. It must not be easy... and if it were her, she'd have plucked them all out the moment they started grow.]

You look like you got run over by one, too. [In the sense that he looks tired, just like every other monster she's talked to after the full moon.

Her chair squeaks as she pushes it out from the table.]

Better start resting up. Those drinks aren't gonna drink themselves.

[ Zack doesn't take any offense at Lightning saying it how it is. He'd stared in a mirror for long enough this morning to know what he looks like, and in some ways the extra feathers are not the most alarming thing.

If he gets enough sleep and rest, though, he's sure that he'll bounce back in no time. It'll take more than transforming into some eagle-lion thing to keep him down.

When he realizes that Lightning is planning to excuse herself, he's quick to also stand, wanting to make sure to walk her out. ]

Yeah, fair enough. I do appreciate you coming by, though. It means a lot.

[ He shoots her a smile, then turns to lead her back to the front door. ]

Least I could do.

[She follows behind, making sure to toss her bag in the trash on their way out of the kitchen, but she pauses at the front door as they swing it open, letting the cool night air drift inside. Lightning isn't sure why she hesitates to leave, opening her mouth to say something more than just a goodbye, but she promptly shuts it with a grin.

And then, just as she walks out, she holds up three fingers over her shoulder.]

That's three now, Fair. Don't forget.

[open] if you could only see

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