middaeg | [open] if you could only see

[ Zack can understand the hesitance. He and Cloud had talked about bonding early on, but had dragged their feet on pulling the trigger, which is how last night had happened. It's one thing to agree to it and another to actually go through the whole process, but Zack suspects experiencing it the first time will at least make subsequent bonding processes easier. He'll know what he's in for, in any case.

They seem to keep catching each other's gazes and then immediately averting their eyes, though maybe Zack's just imagining that. He doesn't want to put Lightning on the spot right now, but he does file her away as a Witch he might consider bonding with, moving forward. One thing at a time.

Again, she references a last time, offering more details now. Zack frowns, nodding slowly. ]

I have some idea of what happens, but I haven't seen it for myself. You're not able to contain all that power, right?

[ He prompts her to share what happened. Given what he'd just gone through, he's got no intention of judging. It seems like this is the sort of thing that can happen to anyone who's not too careful, and is pretty common given how bonding is such a huge ask. ]

Yeah. It kinda took over.

[In her experience anyway. She figures it probably differs between witches, depending on the kinds of magic they've tried to use.]

Was forced to dive headfirst into it without a bond or any practice. Took a job outside the city to get rid of some cwyld, and I underestimated how much magic I'd need to get rid of 'em. Friend and I ended up in a bit of a pinch while we were out there... [She glances at him pointedly, neither confirming or denying if that friend was him.] We had to do something to get rid of it, so I used whatever magic I could to kill that stupid thing.

[And thank Etro it worked. If she hadn't, then they could have both ended up infected. Not on her watch.]

Went downhill from there. It was like that magic was all I could feel.

[Lightning stretches an arm across the table and rolls up the sleeve of her coat. Scattered across her skin is a map of lightly glowing purple and red veins, hardly visible in the light but still obvious enough to see if he looks closely. She's had to use her magic a few times in the recent weeks to fend off feral wolves and corporeal blizzards, and she has a hunch that it's going to pick up right where it left off if she isn't careful.]

It hurt like hell. Felt like I was gonna burst, and sometimes, magic'd just happen without me wanting it to.

[ While Zack doesn't see why Lightning has to remain coy about whether or not it was him who was with her, chances are that she just don't want to make him feel weird about it. Sure, he wishes that he could remember this as well as she does, but he also isn't going to hold it against her for wanting to bring him up to speed.

So they'd been forced into a situation that maybe hadn't been life or death, but had been close enough to it that Lightning had been forced to use her magic -- a lot of it, or at least more of it than she was used to. That's when everything had boiled over.

When she holds her arm out, Zack sets his spoon down. His bowl of soup is already mostly finished, so he leans forward, half-standing from his seat so he can get a good look at those veins -- which seem to be glowing, just slightly. It's the first time he's seen anything like it here, not that he's been getting up close and personal with people's arms until now. ]

Huh.

[ It isn't any less dangerous than going feral, really. It was still a loss of control that could lead to the people around you getting hurt. Had Zack been caught up in that? ]

So how did you stop it?

[ He watches her face closely. He'd helped somehow, hadn't he? ]

[So, he does want to know more. She'd been hesitant to share everything about their past, afraid that it might give him preconceptions of what their relationship had been like before he could make a decision on that himself, but the more she shares, the more he seems to want to know... and it isn't fair for her to deny him that, either.

She withdraws her arm but rolls her other sleeve up to match it. With that out in the open, she feels less ashamed of it now.]

I didn't. Not really.

[Lightning never did find herself a bond, not even temporary, to fix it... She didn't even bother to practice her magic either.]

I was trying to hide, but you found me anyway. Yelled at me to get some help, and some rest. I hadn't slept in days... It was hurting so much that I couldn't sit still.

[She had resented him a little for getting so upset with her, but only because she was too stubborn to admit that he was right about it.]

Eventually, I couldn't take it. I needed... [She exhales a sharp breath.] I just needed someone I could trust to keep an eye on me. Get me help when I was too stubborn to get it myself when it got real bad. You were right there, ready.

[ As frustrating as it might be for Zack to have to hear about all of this and have not the slightest bit of memory jogged, he'd still rather know than remain in the dark about it. He's relieved that Lightning is comfortable with telling him now, though he can understand why she didn't lead with any of this during their first few talks.

Odd as it is to know he did something without being able to recall it, he takes the words to heart, nodding firmly before he collects his now empty bowl and takes it to the sink. ]

And I'd do it all again, if it came to that. But I'm hoping it won't. [ After depositing the bowl, he turns himself around to lean up against the counter and pins Lightning down with his gaze. ] Hope you can figure out a bond soon. Even if it's with another witch, it's better than nothing.

[ A temporary bonding potion would give her some relief too, but it's temporary for a reason. She's going to need to figure out something more permanent, and while he isn't going to put her in an awkward position by making any offers now, the fact remains that they could both benefit from a bond.

Actually going that extra step to suggest it or ask for it is the hard part, though. ]

[Any bond would be better than no bond, but she isn't ready to take that kind of leap of faith. For now, it's enough that Zack knows that Lightning can trust him, and maybe further down the road, she'll muster up the courage to do something with that trust, but in her own eyes, it's delicate and she wants to treat it with as much care as possible. No matter what he says to reassure her, she did almost screw it up once.

Lightning remains seated while he wanders over to the sink, and somehow manages to level her gaze with his when he turns it back around to her, a smile trying to emerge at the corner of her lip.]

Glad to hear it. [Genuinely. And she would do the same, but thankfully, she isn't planning on letting it get that far this time.] You ever need anything... even if it's just a real good bowl of soup, all you gotta do is ask. Hope I can do the same.

[There's an awkward second of silence that hovers over Lightning, weighing down on her even as she tries to push herself up from the chair, and her eyes dart to the sink, searching for something else to talk about with all that said.]

How was it?

'Course you can.

[ Zack's nature of doing everything in his power to help others probably goes without saying at this point, and while he's the sort who'll offer aid even to strangers, his bond is that much stronger with friends. Of which Lightning is one, and he really hopes he doesn't have to spell that out. Acquaintances don't stop by with offerings of soup, after all.

Before he can make some sort of derogatory comment about his own cooking skill or lack thereof, Lightning asks what he thought of her soup. His mouth twitches and he casts a glance at his bowl, sitting in the sink, almost not looking like it needs to be cleaned at all given that there's barely a trace of anything left in it. ]

Oh, I hated it. That's why I licked it clean, right?

[ He grins, then heads back over to sit at the table again. ]

Seriously... If there's any leftovers, I'm shameless enough to ask if I can take 'em off your hands.

[It doesn't need saying, but it still is nice to hear that not much has changed. Knowing that for certain makes this all easier for her to navigate, and maybe she doesn't need to be as sensitive or careful about it anymore. There isn't much else to share, though—that was the biggest reason for her trusting him—so besides that, the reasons for their unlikely friendship are mostly obvious.]

Thought you said that you hated it. Guess this'll be the last time I ever feed you.

[Oh no. What a shame!!!

With all of that out of the way and aired out between them, Lightning feels a little more at ease, relaxing her shoulders and slumping back against the chair.]

Too bad, I always make too much for a house with three other women... [If anyone's even home. Well, maybe Rikku is the exception... They're all a bunch of busybodies, never sitting still for long.] Who's gonna eat all the steaks or drink all the beers?

[ Lightning taking his teasing comment and running with it is the last bit of proof that Zack needed when it came to feeling at ease in their friendship, and he slaps a hand over his heart as if he's just been struck, playing along with the ruse.

This talk of steak and beer is too tempting for him to just pass up, though. His eyes glint, somehow managing to still work up an appetite after polishing off a bowl of soup. ]

Maybe I'll just have to swing by out of the goodness of my heart and help you out with that, sometime...

[ Though before he gets too deep into inviting himself over to Lightning's place for dinner, he remembers himself. Straightening in his seat, he holds one finger up. ]

Gotta take you out for a few drinks first, though! I haven't forgotten. Just... [ He heaves out a sigh and drags a hand back through his hair, freezing when his fingers brush over feathers. That's going to take some getting used to. ] When I don't feel like I got run over by a truck, all right?

[He'd be doing her a favour, and out of the goodness of his heart too!? If they're not careful, they may just find themselves falling into an endless spiral of owing each other drinks for things that they'll bleed their wallets dry before they're done.

She had forgotten about the feathers for the time being, reminded only when his fingers rustle them in his hair, and her smile fades into a worried frown. It must not be easy... and if it were her, she'd have plucked them all out the moment they started grow.]

You look like you got run over by one, too. [In the sense that he looks tired, just like every other monster she's talked to after the full moon.

Her chair squeaks as she pushes it out from the table.]

Better start resting up. Those drinks aren't gonna drink themselves.

[ Zack doesn't take any offense at Lightning saying it how it is. He'd stared in a mirror for long enough this morning to know what he looks like, and in some ways the extra feathers are not the most alarming thing.

If he gets enough sleep and rest, though, he's sure that he'll bounce back in no time. It'll take more than transforming into some eagle-lion thing to keep him down.

When he realizes that Lightning is planning to excuse herself, he's quick to also stand, wanting to make sure to walk her out. ]

Yeah, fair enough. I do appreciate you coming by, though. It means a lot.

[ He shoots her a smile, then turns to lead her back to the front door. ]

Least I could do.

[She follows behind, making sure to toss her bag in the trash on their way out of the kitchen, but she pauses at the front door as they swing it open, letting the cool night air drift inside. Lightning isn't sure why she hesitates to leave, opening her mouth to say something more than just a goodbye, but she promptly shuts it with a grin.

And then, just as she walks out, she holds up three fingers over her shoulder.]

That's three now, Fair. Don't forget.

[open] if you could only see

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