There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home.

[whomthebelltolls]

Who: Lady Maria and CLOSED prompts
When: Auguril
Where: All Over
What: Closed stuff that doesn't quite fit in anywhere else
Warnings: Oh boy. A Witch overburdened with magic hallucinations due to a weak Bond exacerbating underlying mental health issues, including depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation tendencies. Also general Bloodborne warnings, because I'm sure stuff about her past is going to come up.

Individual threads in headers below. If you would like one, hit me up on Plurk: Reslari at Discord: Reslari#9561 or at my plotting comments located here.

Comments

[whomthebelltolls]

If a reminder could be called such a thing, perhaps.

[She leans a head against her hand. Elbows on the table being bad manners, who cares, she's tired, she's all but starving, and she's depressed. Life doesn't get much worse than that, so what's a little sleight against her own dignity.

She lost most of that a while back, anyway. No matter how she pretends otherwise.]

This place has been rather kind, all things considered. It's simply I who has squandered it.

[cryptsleeper]

And how do you figure that?

[It is the first real foray into asking what's happened, although Alucard does have a suspicion. Easier now to keep fussing with plating. To pull out the honey and put it in a little cup, and then arrange some of the bread there.]

I'm nearly done.

[And just as the water hits the boil no less.]

[whomthebelltolls]

I let myself get greedy. I allowed myself to hope.

[And as depressingly cryptic as that is, she nods her head at him. The tea smells good - a bit tart, quite floral, and with the bread accompanying it should make a good snack, even if her appetite is... not what it used to be.

The kettle is ringing loud in the stifling silence of the house, and Maria flinches a little against the way the noise fills the space of the kitchen.]

Just being here and not trapped in that Nightmare should've been good enough for me. More than good enough.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard's pretty sure he's never had this level of depression, and that's saying something.]

You were human, you mean.

[He delivers the charcuterie platter to the table first, aware that it's meager but that the presentation is more than enough to make up for it. He's even cut the cheese into little shapes.]

I'm with you in loss.

[whomthebelltolls]

[She huffs a snort - derisive, but it does fit.] I am a corpse. Perhaps that was where I went wrong, first.

[She picks a piece of the meat and cheese up - the smell at least isn't too bad - and looks it over, before taking a bite. Then, once it's done...]

So, what did you lose? [Easier to ask him, than talk about herself at the moment.]

[cryptsleeper]

You know what I meant.

[Alucard takes one of the blueberries that he placed on the board, rolling it between thumb and index finger ginegrly.]

Sypha. I'm sure we'll see each other again, but her loss hurts all the same.

[whomthebelltolls]

I know, and yet I am starting to think that dichotomy may be part of my problem.

[Her human desires clashing with how inhuman she thinks herself to be. Still, she sighs, and shakes her head.]

I'm sorry... it must be difficult to lose those you are close to here, especially if you know you cannot see them here again, at least for some time. I do not know, but it seems some familiar comforts from home would make life easier.

[cryptsleeper]

It could be a factor. Nuance helps a great many matters.

[Alucard may be a little do as I say not as I do with that, but fuck it. He takes a little grape from off the plate, and chews it carefully before spitting out the seeds.]

Is that the same matter you're faced with now?

[whomthebelltolls]

No... there is only one other person from home here, and we are far from close. I don't need to be reminded of my home - it is not what I would consider a good place. Besides, there are generations between us. You must have been much closer to... Sypha? Than I ever would be to Eileen.

[She's avoiding the subject, and she knows she is, by taking these kinds of technicalities. Talking about the wrong part of his statement.

Losing something beloved really was part of her problem. But not in the same way as for him.

Yet, she lacks for the current energy and mental capacity to divert the conversation away from the topic for long, so rather than say anything more, she takes another one of the little bread and cheese and meat stacks, eats it, and then sips her tea.]

[cryptsleeper]

We were romantically involved and bonded, yes. [That seems worth clarifying, but Alucard doesn't push for additional details.

Instead Alucard's attention focuses on the tea. He's careful as he takes a sip, humming softly when he puts down the cup.]

You're right, this doesn't need the honey or any other sweetener.

[But he is satisfied enough to see Maria keep eating.]

Do you need an extra set of hands with the garden today?

[May I stay?]

[whomthebelltolls]

Mm, then it was a harsh loss, indeed. [She speaks from experience, there. The thought of such a thing just really wants to drive her toward the cupboards and the alcohol and just drinking until she forgets the thought, and the pain, but she steels herself against it instead.

And he changes topic a bit. It helps.] Yes. Rose hip tea is very good on its own. [She folds her fingers around the cup and peers over the top of it, regarding Alucard through the steam, briefly, before taking another sip.] I always need a hand in the garden. [So, yes.] The pixies did some damage to it, that I am trying to remedy.

[cryptsleeper]

[He leaves the topic alone. The worst of the pain was addressed between himself and Trevor, and he's been sleeping in the basement with the Belmont for a few weeks now. That's helped the most.

But better to stray away from loss. At least a little, and Alucard closes his eyes for a moment when he feels that gaze on him. Fingers drum gently on the table.]

Then let me stay until I wear out my welcome, and you can have a second set of hands for any jobs you've avoided hitherto.

[whomthebelltolls]

Well, I haven't really avoided anything, but things are much slower with only one person.

[She takes a deep breath, enjoying the rose scent of the tea. Flowers calm her, and the tea reminds her of that. When she opens her eyes, something flits across the corner of her vision, and she turns a little to look. No, nothing there. The voices subside to whispers in the back of her mind. She is content, for now. So the voices are quiet.] I suppose the up side is that it occupies more of my time.

[The less time she faces the lonely emptiness of her life, the better.]

[cryptsleeper]

Mm, well, anything that you want done because the task isn't your favorite then.

[He thinks he's made his point though, and so Alucard's attention returns to food. Perhaps it's a little unorthodox to dunk cheese into a little bit of honey, but he does.

A good balance of sweet and salty from the semi-firm cheese. He can be content with that, but--

--weird, how Maria suddenly turns to look. It's rather like a cat staring at something that isn't there.]

I suppose that's correct, for better or worse.

[whomthebelltolls]

We'll figure out what needs to be done when we get out there, but I suspect it will be much weeding.

[Not that her garden is overrun, but it is large, which means that there are usually quite a few weeds that need to be nipped off every day.

She doesn't comment about his eating habits. She just bites into a third of the little snacks and then resumes sipping tea. For someone Maria's size, three of those things shouldn't be nearly enough, and yet, she doesn't make a movement to get any more.

Instead, she closes her eyes, trying to will the little hallucinations at the corners of her vision away, so she'll stop glancing around like she's expecting something or someone else to walk into the kitchen. Or, more accurately, like they're already there and simply trying to hide out of her sight.]

Feel free to leave at any time if it bores you. It's not going to be a particularly riveting day.

[It may be more interesting for him, than her, considering he has to watch her jump at shadows and stare at things that aren't there, and listen to voices that aren't his.]

[cryptsleeper]

Weeding is fine. I fully expect at least a few of the weeds to have some level of sentience and demand more work before they're properly destroyed.

[Alucard hopes that it'll be a good distraction at any rate. It is becoming all too clear that Maria is in need of that much, and it makes him think. Think about other good distractions, ways to force her out of the city.

His own eyes remain on Maria, but the concern is somehow muted. Just enough. A trick learned from growing up in the house he did.]

I'd like a little time of out my own house, I think. I've been sleeping in the basement with Trevor since Sypha departed, and I'm rather sick of those four walls.

[whomthebelltolls]

You've been here too long. Most weeds are fairly easy to deal with... and if they are stubborn... well, we have magic for that.

[She's not really admonishing, but she does almost - almost - sound amused at the idea of sentient weeds.]

It does get oppressive after a while, doesn't it? I can even have windows in my room to let in the light, and it's still too... quiet.

[But he knows that. She purses her lips.] ... And the quieter it gets, the noisier it gets.

[cryptsleeper]

Perhaps, but maybe I think we both need a bit of a fight.

[Low stakes, enough to make them sweat a little. Nothing more.]

One's own mind is always the worst associate to have in these situations.

[whomthebelltolls]

Ah, perhaps we do. I need more excuses to expend mana, anyway. [She reaches up, pinches at the bridge of her nose. The Bond hasn't failed to the point of migraines yet, but... it's getting close. There's a lot of pressure in her head many days.]

... And especially now.

[Once she's done massaging her nose, she tips the teacup to her lips. Only a bit left now, then, and they can get their work day started, so to speak.]

[cryptsleeper]

--Perhaps it the weather is good this weekend, we can go on a small excursion?

[Something to look forward to. But also something to pin in memory, with any lucky.]

If you need anything else, you need only ask.

[whomthebelltolls]

There's nothing you can do, Alucard. [She shakes her head, voice slightly muffled by the teacup.] Even going out and expending magic is only a temporary fix, and could even make the problem worse, eventually.

[Like the way water rushes back to a puddle after a carriage splashes it out, she's pretty sure it would just build right back up within a day.]

... Let us just complete this task for today. If you need a spare hat for the sun, there should be one in the closet by the door. [She's not even making a vampire joke, it's just that sunburn is Very Real, and he's about as pale as she is.]

[cryptsleeper]

[He might snap normally, point out that he knows what a closed circuit is, but he stops. It isn't productive and only going to make it worse.

Complete the task for the day. That's probably for the best.]

--I actually will take you up on that. Less because my skin needs it, and more because I quite like the look of it on me.

[He's learned he loves sunhats with big ol' sunglasses this summer.]

[whomthebelltolls]

[A gentle raise of an eyebrow, and then Maria sips the rest of her tea. When she places the cup back on the table, it's with a normally neutral expression. She doesn't know how much Alucard has figured out, considering how little she ever talks about what's going on with her, and how little she's talked to him about it, but the less she tries to reveal things the better, probably.

Honestly, unless he asks. But he seems to be avoiding that, and that works all the better for her.]

... Well, fashion or practicality, there should be an extra one or two there - ah... Giorno's old hats. Don't worry, he was well-groomed.

[cryptsleeper]

--Well groomed and subtle, or well groomed and eccentric?

[It's meant to be a joke, although Alucard knows he's treading on thin ice. Maria's given enough away for him to make an educated guess now - those she shared bonds with are gone, and she's been left alone yet again - and that aches far more than his own loss.]

I'll survive either way, I promise that much.

[whomthebelltolls]

Very eccentric. But I think we could find at least one hat that doesn't have too much going on with it. [For as much as that was a joke, Maria takes it in stride... and rather seriously. Like. Giorno's a JoJo, man, there's probably something in there that is an insult to even the most garish of 1980s fashion.

But for all that Maria has revealed about the emptiness of her home and the way it's affecting her, it's the failure of her Bond that she's still keeping closer to her chest. She'll consider herself successful, so long as he doesn't figure that one out.]

You won't have to worry about being seen in public, at least, if we cannot find something... plain.

[She starts to her feet, and turns out of the kitchen and back toward the common areas near the front of the house.]