There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home.

[whomthebelltolls]

Who: Lady Maria and CLOSED prompts
When: Auguril
Where: All Over
What: Closed stuff that doesn't quite fit in anywhere else
Warnings: Oh boy. A Witch overburdened with magic hallucinations due to a weak Bond exacerbating underlying mental health issues, including depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation tendencies. Also general Bloodborne warnings, because I'm sure stuff about her past is going to come up.

Individual threads in headers below. If you would like one, hit me up on Plurk: Reslari at Discord: Reslari#9561 or at my plotting comments located here.

Comments

[cryptsleeper]

Mm, and I never have luck.

[Plain white is sort of the opposite of Alucard's whole thing - but he can't be picky, even if he'd just prefer a black hat.

Looking at the collection though? Alucard can barely keep a small laugh inside because good lord but there is a riot of color hat he's looking at right now.]

No, I....I rather think that this will suit. It takes a certain type of personality to make some of those other options work and work well

[whomthebelltolls]

Yes, I do think only Giorno could really pull it off. It would make... giving them away rather difficult. [Not even for sentimental reasons, it's going to be difficult for anyone to want something this garish. Eventually, she'll probably just throw them away, if Giorno doesn't return.

Either way, she hands the hat over without another word and then motions toward the front door.] We'll just step out the front, here. It's a longer walk, but... [Well, they'll be outside, and Maria really just needs to get moving now. The house is starting to get stifling again.]

[cryptsleeper]

Or you can indulge in sentiment.

[Alucard does, that much is clear. His eyes linger on the riot of colors as he reaches up, adjusting the hat by just a hair.]

Lead on.

[And out they go.]

You know, you're welcome to my home if you'd like a few hours or a night away from this place.

[whomthebelltolls]

I get out whenever I have the chance... [Not usually overnight but she does spend her time...

... Well, mostly at bars. Lots and lots of time at bars. She traces her fingertips delicately along the wall as the path juts over near it, before winding back in toward the side of the house.] The emptiness of the house is not the worst part of this.

[cryptsleeper]

--Out without having to be in public, let me phrase it like that.

[So, nor bars.

Alucard follows, eyes only ahead.]

I am sorry that is the case. Loneliness is my own greatest problem in these moments.

[whomthebelltolls]

Mm, but I like the bars. [She raises an eyebrow back to look at him, and then... it falls back into place. She's pretty sure she sees him haunting around some of the bars she frequents, and she'snot sure if he's on the lookout for her, or something else.

She looks forward.] ... Loneliness is a new thing to me. I spent a very long time in isolation, with no company but the ringing of the clocktower bells, and the reminders of my failures on all sides of me. For years... decades, perhaps centuries. I know not, I was dead. But I was never lonely then. I understood I deserved it then, I think; something I believe I've forgotten in the time since I arrived here.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard's absolutely been keeping an eye on bars, mostly out of concern for Trevor. But he knows about Maria's situation now, and that means keeping an eye out for her too.]

May I impose a few interpretations of what you've just said?

[whomthebelltolls]

[She makes a noise that might be a huff of amusement.] Sure. Let's see if I can't quantify it later to make it seem worse than anything you suppose.

[Because she still hasn't touched upon her failing Bond.]

[cryptsleeper]

As someone who was contemplating a deep isolation before arriving here? I felt it was an appropriate matter. Not precisely punishment for actions I had taken, but fair compensation for their gravity. I would be lonely, but there were a myriad of reasons that I ought not to be in the human world.

[There's a long, tired sigh.]

Being here disproved what I thought was true. That I never deserved what I was going to put upon myself, and that it is better in the long run to accept risk, loss, and learn to deal with loneliness without falling into a state of harm - to myself or to others.

[whomthebelltolls]

I see. But I also see some differences. Foremost among them is that I never had a sense of loneliness before I came here. If it was anything, it was very mute. It does not take a mind-reader to know that I prefer my own space and my own company to others in the majority of situations.

[She goes to clasp her hands behind her back, thoughtful, as they wind around another path to the garden. She makes for the nearby tool shed, before she speaks again.]

But it is not me who decided upon that particular isolation. Oh, certainly, my death was my own doing; but the Nightmare? That was created by people I had wronged so deeply, that their grief, and their rage, and their thirst for justice created an eternal hell especially for all who would ever take up arms and join the Hunt. They decided I deserved it - that all Hunters deserved it - and in truth... I have no reason to argue. The wrongs I committed I did so willingly, and so, too, do those who take up the onus of the Hunt.

Light, and love, and happiness are not for people like me. I had forgotten that. I'll simply not make the same mistake again.

[The small toolshed's door creaks a little as Maria unlocks it and swings it open.] ... Well, I doubt I could make such a mistake again anyway. The voices and nightmares are doing an excellent job of reminding me constantly, day and night, of this truth.

[cryptsleeper]

They are though.

[Alucard's usually not this blunt. He'll engage with the other things isntead but.

No. Better to be to the point with this.]

Your past environment would have never allowed for them, that much is a truth. But you're not there anymore. You're here. You've made it clear that you want to remain here. If such things were not truly meant for you, the opportunity to access and experience them even for a fraction of time would not be made available.

[Alucard knows he's being too sharp. He doesn't care.]

Everything else can be worked through. I cam here having done the worst thing I could have ever done, I've had my losses, and yet here I am all the same.

[whomthebelltolls]

Tell that to them. [She motions around her to the... nothing that is there. She's not talking about the flowers, clearly.] And to the nightmares. Ask the ghosts of the dead if my skirting their punishment is something I deserve.

We're kidnapped here, held against our will by forces that none of us understand. This isn't a chance at redemption, this is some cosmic game played by forces beyond our ken, and those from my home will not be denied their vengeance. Regardless of it being a kinder place than home, regardless of it being opened to me, I don't belong here. We all don't, in general.

[He wants to get sharp? Maria will just double down. She turns and shoves a trowel into his hands.] Regardless, I'll be dead in a couple months anyway. I can only hope it sticks this time.