middaeg | [semi-open] Lay me down let the only sound be the overflow

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[semi-open] Lay me down let the only sound be the overflow

Who: Lan Xichen, cultivators, and friends!
When: Around mid-month
Where: Lakeside out beyond the Wall (near the forge)
What: swimming, sitting, sighing, and shedding
Warnings: F is for friends who do stuff together.

Everyone probably has their own reasons for being at the lake. For Lan Xichen, working in the forge tends to lead to overheating (especially when he's been fighting off certain stress levels) and the nearby water provides a good way to politely cool off. Maybe you met him on his way and decided to join in or maybe you were already there. After several days this becomes a regular pattern of work followed by an afternoon soak, so it's possibly just a nice diversion when things are a bit too much to handle.

Whether it is swimming, meditating, having a snack, or just enjoying the fresh air along the bank, there are plenty of ways to share time with friends. The only possible warning will come from Lan Xichen himself if it looks like an argument is brewing--he will intervene. He came explicitly for some quiet time, so if anyone starts a fight, they'll probably have a half-naked Lan there to break them up. Maybe that's your thing.

[ooc: This log is a free for all for swimming and lake side games. All our friends are invited to tag in and tag each other. Basically, make up whatever you would like as a starter and cut in wherever if people agree! Non-cultivator friends and 4th wallers also welcome. If you need a specific prompt added, poke me at

teaandreveries.]

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[He doesn't really feel like he needs this nice warm rock; he's already plenty warm. Cold isn't so appealing; but then again the way Lan Xichen looks at him, and says 'both of us' is.

As regrettable as what he's unintentionally inflicted on Xichen was, somehow... things feel a little different between them now. In a way that isn't bad at all, to him.]

I think it might make some people a little uncomfortable. I don't wish to disturb anything.

[As much discomfort to himself as to anyone else visiting. His own distaste for how his body is changing remains; less so the scales themselves now - they almost had a certain elegant aesthetic, shining under moonlight - but more the unpleasant... rearrangements that had been happening below.]

[It's subconscious, the way Xichen picks up and echoes that innocent fondness that he's seen on Jin Guangyao, both genuine and acted when the situation called for it. He catches his gaze with a quiet smile and moves back to shore where Jin Guangyao is resting, stopping before he reaches the end of the water.]

You can hardly disturb anything by soaking for a little. It will be fine. I'm here, and if you are in the water you can relax some of your muscles. You shouldn't strain your body too much.

[Which of course is his way of being concerned about Jin Guangyao's back and posture. With his legs looking thinner and the tail behind him, Xichen can't miss the awkward tension that causes. Being off his body entirely and allowed to float seems like a perfect solution. He offers a hand from the lake, just out of reach.]

I promise my robes will not miss you too much.

[As nice as it would be to just take that outstretched hand, a certain amount of practicality interferes.]

Perhaps so. [He concedes.] I think you have the right idea though, since I don't relish the idea of walking back in too much wet clothing. Would you mind giving me a hand?

[Jin Guangyao asks, shrugging the heavier outer robe off his shoulders. He's gotten used to getting undressed with one hand, but it would be less awkward with assistance. On top of that, his changes have never bothered Lan Xichen as far as he can tell; even if he's no longer quite what he was before, but the thought does cross his mind that if he's enjoying the view at the lakeside, he should only try to help Lan Xichen enjoy this quiet downtime further as well.

If it bothers anyone else to see them so close... well, they would be bothered by his presence anyway, so what's one thing more? He's explicitly not looking at that sort of person, so they can simply not look at himself and Xichen.]

[If a small part of him would be happy to pick Jin Guangyao up off the rock and carry him robes and all into the water, Xichen isn't going to make the man suffer through that. He goes up to his side and turns so that his body is between Jin Guangyao and the rest, helping him to remove his robes and fold them neatly. If that requires getting close, well, he doesn't really seem to mind that either.

The Jin robes are placed next to his, side by side and protected by Liebing and Shuoyue lying above them. Jin Guangyao can probably still smell A-Zhan on Xichen's robes, but the squirrel is already out and climbing in trees beside the lake, high up out of danger. It's all normal enough until Xichen turns back to look Jin Guangyao over, one hand running lightly over his leg.]

Are you feeling all right?

[The degree of the changes going on is a lot more visible with Jin Guangyao's robes removed, because the scales have crept up his spine from the base of the tail, scattered lightly across his back and down the sides of his arms. The reason for his odd sitting is apparent, too, because the base of the tail is thicker than his thighs, and stretches more downwards than away from his body - the back side of his pants below the waistband cut and folded away to make room for it.

He takes his hat off too -- it probably won't fare well if splashed. When he reaches down to pull off his boots, his feet are even more heavily scaled, just as much as his tail is, and the faint texture under Lan Xichen's hand suggests his legs, under the pants, are the same. It would be more convenient to bathe nude but... at least one layer will dry quickly enough, and he's meeting Lan Xichen at his level.]

It's a little tiring to walk. I suppose it could be worse. [Jin Guangyao could complain more about it, easily, and absolutely would normally. But he's really doing his best not to put any pressure on his bonded today. There's already been enough stress and emotional suffering in those flare-ups earlier in the month. In response to that touch he reaches out to place his hand on Lan Xichen's bare chest, over his heart, in the way native Bonded might. Jin Guangyao looks at where his hand lies for a moment before looking up to meet his eyes with a smile. Surely there's nothing anyone could object to, with such a common gesture here.]

What of yourself, recently?

[The scales don't inspire any revulsion or discomfort in Xichen, although seeing the way the transformation just spreads over Jin Guangyao's body and appears, to him, to be making him look weaker does raise concern. He isn't sure what to make of the way the base of Jin Guangyao's tail seems to be trying to take over his lower half or the way his legs look weaker and a little off balance. The younger man should probably not be walking around so much if he's putting his weight on those.

Whether it is appropriate or not, when Xichen feels the hand on his chest he cover it with his own, holding it here for a few moments before letting go again. He almost succeeds in hiding his smile in return, but it doesn't quite remain within the expression of tranquility. So instead he looks to the side.]

You came out this far. I am doing well if for that reason alone. Things have been calmer recently as well. Perhaps the effects of the full moon are becoming easier to accept.

[Or the effects of Bonding. At the moment, it doesn't seem that bad at all.]

[Or more realistically, that Jin Guangyao has been staying clear of the Nie brothers since that last encounter, intentionally redirecting his thoughts until he can figure out the best way to manage the situation. Realistically, there's little opportunity left right now. Although normally he might stew on it quietly, after seeing the effects on Lan Xichen, even that seemed like an entirely unacceptable risk.

Even if that smile was totally hidden, the feeling would remain, especially this close. Jin Guangyao doesn't let his hand linger longer than the moment a couple native Bonded might in a close greeting, though. There's no need to push the bounds further than that, especially where people they know might see.]

I'm glad to hear it. He replies pleasantly, as he turns to the water's edge. Lan Xichen isn't wrong, that it might be good for him, especially when the confines of a bathtub seem smaller with each passing day. The faster he's in the water, the less chance there is of attracting unwanted interest in his changes, as well. But his gait is definitely a bit wobbly as he wades in.] You seem to be enjoying yourself out here as well, and I think things in the city are becoming more settled. It seems difficult to ask for more than that in this life.

[Lan Xichen may not feel the brooding Jin Guangyao is keeping tamped down, but he does see the obvious changes and he can tell they must be bothering him. There is no way that sort of physical shift can be comfortable, and for someone that has always worried about what others will see when they look at him, even Xichen can guess that his Bondmate is unhappy. And so he doesn't hesitate when he reaches out, steadying Jin Guangyao as he walks with an arm around his back, still keeping himself between him and the rest of the people around them. He still has height on him and he's actually not that shy about how close he gets to guide him into the water.]

It will continue to be better. I have been working at the forge and it has been very relaxing to do something physical for a change. It made me realize that even difficult tasks that seem unfit at first can produce something worth keeping. Don't you think?

[The thought is both noticed and appreciated for the short distance Jin Guangyao wants to go; he's content to settle in the shallower and warmer part, where the surface of the water is not even shoulder-high when he's seated on the bottom of the lake. It's not quite so awkward then, between the buoyancy of the water and the soft sand that he can push with his tail, enough to make a more appropriate hollow for it.

He doesn't rise to the metaphorical bait though, wary of it leading to another dispute a few exchanges of words further along.]

Have you made any finished works so far, then? You'll have to show me sometime.

[Once Jin Guangyao has settled into a spot and seems at least relatively comfortable, Lan Xichen focuses his attention on how the scales have spread. They seem to have increased quite a lot, and he can't help but wonder what this means. Nie Mingjue has patches of scales, yes, but they aren't as consuming as these seem to be. With the growth of his tail, it almost seems like Jin Guangyao won't be able to walk soon. And that would mean changes he can't help but worry about.]

I haven't made anything yet worth sharing. If I do, I'll be sure to let you see it. I think it will require more practice until I can produce anything pleasing.

[He speaks with his usual warm voice, but he doesn't quite avoid the subject that Jin Guangyao is avoiding. Even if his bondmate won't reply, Xichen does have some stubbornness in him.]

How does the water feel?

[Yes, he is asking about the scales.]

[Jin Guangyao can already see where this is going, and has for several weeks now, comparing himself to the other monsters out and about in the city as the changes progressed. He's not relishing the loss of his legs, whenever that will happen.]

It's pleasant, and the scenery quite wonderful as well. [The small lake is pretty but modest; even if his own issues are ongoing, it's better to focus on Xichen for reasons beyond just trying to ease his bondmate's mind. Even if Lan Xichen misses the compliment when he looks up at him with that small, almost teasing smile, well, there are still a few positive things about sharing emotions the way they have been.] I'm glad you mentioned this place to me.

[Lan Xichen does have his suspicions, but as usual he doesn't want to imagine that kind of transformation, because he doesn't want Jin Guangyao to suffer through that change. It's something that he pushes aside, unwilling to face because it hurts to picture the man being put through something awful again. But now he just can't deny it any more, and it makes him want to soothe him however he can.

That thread of emotion is distracting, however. Xichen only catches the teasing in Jin Guangyao's smile after feeling the emotion across the bond, and then he lowers his eyes, hiding his sudden awareness of the state he's in. It hadn't mattered a minute ago.]

It is quiet here as well. Soaking in the water is relaxing, so if you would like to do it more often, I can always accompany you. Although it is a bit cold. Maybe next time we should find somewhere with warm water?

"There are always the public baths. It's simply that... things are the way that they are." Jin Guangyao equivocates. It's almost worse to think that there might be other monsters there, for he still sees it as an awful transformation and not who he actually is.

But he'll store away those complaints for another time, when things are a little more private.

"Besides, I'm warm enough as it is for now, and it must feel good for you after working so hard."

[Lan Xichen pauses, giving Jin Guangyao a curious look. Surely the other people who are monsters in the city will understand what he's going through? But that hesitation does make sense when he sees how uncomfortably his tail is coming in. It's not something anyone would want to share.]

We could find something more private if you like.

[Maybe a warm bath brought to a room instead. And that might be a little informal, but with everything Jin Guangyao is facing, he almost feels like it should be done. If they are sharing a bond, Lan Xichen should be helping to take care of him during his changes.]

I want you to be able to relax more often.

That might be pleasant.

[He smiles back. Also potentially awkward showing even more of himself and the state he's in, but if it's with Lan Xichen, he doesn't mind so much. Potentially awkward for other reasons related to Lan Xichen, too, but that was a different type of issue.

Of course Jin Guangyao knows, has known for so many years, than Lan Xichen is hardly one to judge on appearance. But it's still incredible to him that he has no feelings about the bodily changes other than concern.]

Especially to have another few moments of relaxation, when things are otherwise busy. [He hesitates a moment, because he would really like Lan Xichen to remain entirely relaxed today, but he should address it and now that the idea has come to mind with a faint anxiety behind it, it's better to say something before Xichen gets the wrong idea.] Perhaps even more busy soon. I'd thought to apply to join the Mirrorbound Council sometime in the near future.

[He'll just take it from... wherever Lan Xichen's assumptions fall on that statement.]

[Even if the inhuman part does make him uneasy, it doesn't bother him so much when it is part of Jin Guangyao. He knows his friend hates the scales and ever growing changes, and he worries about the discomfort that they bring, but there is still a steady feeling of affection that can't be shaken off no matter what Jin Guangyao may look like. He is still himself, and that person, even with his faults, is someone important in Lan Xichen's heart.]

You want to join the council?

[There's soft thread of unease through the bond, because he doesn't know what that decision will bring.]

You have always been very good at making important decisions and guiding people, but I thought that in such a position you must have always been unhappy. Even though you were kind, didn't it cause you pain?

It's hardly the same sort of position as sect leadership. Parliament is quite large, and there are only a few seats shared among the Mirrorbound who wish to voice their thoughts. Didn't you, yourself, say that people are kind here? I've found it to be true as well, and no doubt everyone on the Council works together for the good of all.

[He'd heard about exactly how those seats opened up to Mirrorbound, and the actions of some natives that led to that were decidedly not kind. Politics is ugly, but... there's a lot to be gained there, too. He shifts in the water, not so idly rubbing a couple dull scales on the back of his arm. Contemplative, but also, hopefully, encouraging Lan Xichen to touch and help him with some shedding patches that were starting to come loose now.]

I would like to contribute in some way, to make people's lives better. But I wasn't gifted with magic here, and I'm hardly prepared to fight or to offer much in the way of material aid to the Outer City, for instance. Out of the few things I'm good at, wouldn't it be better to add another voice of reason to help not just us Mirrorbound, but this new realm as well?

It's not as if anyone knows my background here either, aside from yourself and a handful of those we know. So no-one should have cause to bring that up either.

[He adds, looking down into the water, less certain.]

But I do worry a little anyway, about what they might say.

I did say that. They have been kind.

[Still, he searches Jin Guangyao's face for signs of unease or discomfort. He does think that it might be a helpful position, since his friend has always proposed helpful plans in the past, but with everything that was revealed afterward, he can't help but worry about him taking on a position that might lead to unsavory disagreements. That was how everything started, wasn't it?

But the movement under the water distracts him. He sees that shift and reaches up to help brush away some of those dulled scales. Gently guiding the shedding skin away and rubbing Jin Guangyao's arm afterward.]

If you wish to help, then I am certain you will be welcomed on the Council. No one should have any objections to such a desire. As you said, no one on the Council would question your background. Such things, I believe, hold less importance here.

[He stands a bit closer, his body shielding the other man just a little bit more.]

If you are worried that I might object or question you, I just don't want to see you suffer again, bearing things in silence until nothing could be done. Will you at least assure me that you can confide in me if anything does start bothering you?

[There's a warm feeling when Xichen touches him, appreciative and affectionate. He would feel worse about that little coercion if he wasn't so sure that his bonded liked it as well.]

You'll know if it does, won't you? [He says, tilting his head up to look kindly at Lan Xichen. It's clearly not a bad thing at all from the smile when he says:] With you so close by every day, how could I not speak of any worries?

[It might have been prompted, but once he starts, Lan Xichen actually feels calmer with that ability to touch and stroke over the skin of his bondmate without fearing he might be doing something unwanted. He even goes further, picking away the loose shed within his reach along Jin Guangyao's arms and up to his shoulders where is is harder to get to.]

Mm. Then, how can I say anything against it? As long as you trust me, I will trust you. And it wouldn't be so bad to have one of us at least bringing news back from Parliament. I think we should all be able to benefit from your hard work.

[Jin Guangyao gathers and moves his mostly-soaked hair over one shoulder before he looks back down, at Lan Xichen's reflection in the water instead, to let him have easier access to the breadth of his shoulders. There are definitely spots where the edge of the shedding patch doesn't come off so easily, a bit of dead human skin to be rubbed before it frees itself.

If he can't stop this transformation, at least he can have this.]

I am not really sure, with a good twenty people on the council alone, how much I will be able to contribute. But I would like to try my best at least.

[When Lan Xichen sees how the dried skin has gathered and not really been shed properly along Jin Guangyao's upper back, he runs his fingers over them more purposefully. There is no reason for his bondmate to have this kind of discomfort when he he help it, and he can't help worrying a bit at the sight.]

I'm sure you will find a way. You always did before.

[That was good will, wasn't it? He still wants to believe it was.]

A-Yao, does it hurt?

[There is a little conflict between voicing his own complaints, and wanting Lan Xichen to have a relaxing time here at the lakeside. But he certainly doesn't want him to worry either.]

If some amount comes only partway free and the rest catches on my clothing, it is uncomfortable. But otherwise, it's only dry skin.

[He reassures him, a middle ground between truth and things happening with tail and legs that are less pleasant.]

[Lan Xichen hums softly and runs his fingers lightly along the top of Jin Guangyao's shoulder blades, stroking the base of his neck thoughtfully.]

If you come over in the mornings, I can help you clean them off.

[Maybe just soak for a while and share company with him. That wouldn't be so bad.]

[Head still bent, Jin Guangyao closes his eyes while Lan Xichen's fingers run along the back of his neck, relaxing somewhat under that touch.]

I would like that. At the same time, even if it isn't such a big thing, I feel as though I'm still causing you trouble.

[semi-open] Lay me down let the only sound be the overflow

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