middaeg | (closed) you may not miss me but i am not ashamed

[ Everything is beginning to feel a little more INTENSE as of late. Really, it's probably due to his still not having a bond but, considering who he is on top of how he is, well, it's not so much a surprise that he happens to be... bondless. There's also just the whole he doesn't feel he needs one to begin with, so. There's that!

But it's fine - he's fine - M A G I C is the name of the game here for him and despite his having kept to himself over the past month to work on and perfect his choice of magic (illusions) he finally makes his way to the Coven on this particular day because, you know, he's a witch and all.

It's boring and not at all fun and Kadaj is NEVER one to just go along with how things are supposed to be. Not unless Mother says so, that is. But these people? These people aren't Mother and so he doesn't have to listen to them. So he zigzags his way down the steps, looking a little lost in more than just thought when he comes to catch a shimmer of silver hair out of the corner of his eye and-!! Oh, it's not one of his brothers. Dis..appointing. Just a bit. But it's ok! It's really ok! Because he recognizes who that is, even if it takes him a second. That boy who helped him that one time... that's him.

Now, normally Kadaj is absolutely NOT one for conversation unless he's in the mood for it, but who knows what his current mood is right now! So he makes his way on over to Riku, hands clasped behind his back. ]

I remember you. [ His voice is sing-song as he approaches the fellow teen and he wears a bright but somewhat crooked smile on his lips. ] You're a witch, too?

Edited 2020-05-02 21:56 (UTC)

[Riku spends a lot of time at the Coven, either attending classes or pouring over books of spells in the library. He gets a lot of practice with his magic by frequently volunteering with the Wilders, but as soon as he feels he has a good handle on one spell he's quick to move on to the next.

In fact, he's on his way to the library now, his thoughts caught of what kind of spell he wants to focus on next, when Kadaj approaches him. He blinks up at the other teen, recognition coming quickly. After all, there aren't that many people here who have their coloring.]

Yeah, I remember you too. It's been awhile. [He had tried looking for the other boy once or twice after their first meeting, but haven't caught any sight of him.] I am. I was just on my way to the library to study. You want to come?

[ Kadaj has been... keeping to himself. When no one seems to know who you are (or what you are) no matter how much you know them, it's a little... disheartening. Or something! Emotions are strange things that he doesn't quite have a proper grasp on just yet. Will he ever? Who knows! He certainly doesn't.

He cants his head to the side when he makes the offer to tag along to the library and Kadaj... falls silent. Confused? He doesn't usually get invited along anywhere. He's typically the one tagging along regardless of what anyone says or thinks and usually out of boredom. So this is... new. Strange? Confusing. But so was this fellow teen reaching out to help him. Something he hasn't forgotten about. Strange as that is. ]

Sure.

[ Despite the one-word reply, he says it slowly before he starts to walk again, green eyes curiously looking to Riku's face as he passes by. ]

What are you learning?

[Riku watches the other boy carefully, waiting for a response. He doesn't know him well enough to be able to read his expression completely, but he recognizes the confusion. He's just not sure what about his offer would prompt it.

He follows along after Kadaj after hearing his response.]

I'm going to read up on spells for summoning lightning bolts. I've been experimenting with some of the elemental type spells. What about you?

[ Elemental spells. That makes him a fighter. It has to. Why else would one be meaning to learn those sorts of things? That's so... interesting. A thought to be tucked away for later maybe. But when the question gets turned around on him, he smiles. ]

I like illusions.

[ And even as he says so, he holds his palm up and creates a tiny moogle within the center of it, making it twirl and dance... until it explodes. ]

It's almost like what I could do before I found myself here.

[ And then he had to go and be stripped of all he could do. :( This place was no fun like that. But at least he can learn all over again! Hopefully before he explodes or worse. But, as quickly as his thoughts tend to jump around to- ]

So you're a fighter then?

[He nods. Illusions can be powerful in their own right when used properly. But it's not an area that Riku feels he would be particularly strong in. He enjoys the physicality of battle and the elemental spells remind him of the magic he used to be able to cast with his Keyblade.

But his eyes widen in surprise when he sees the familiar form of a moogle appear in the center of Kadaj's hand. He leans in closer, fascinated by the detail of the illusion, but stumbles back in surprise when it explodes. Ok..ay...then.]

Yeah, that's why I like the elemental magic too. That was a moogle, right? It's funny how they keep popping up in different worlds.

[He nods again.] I am.

I thought so.

[ His trails off with a sing-song flit to his voice and strands of silver brush against his cheek as he cants his head away from Riku, letting the breeze blow through him as he wonders. Kadaj sometimes has a habit of beating around the bush but he can also be very direct and sudden with his thoughts and questions.

Such as now with what he asks so nonchalantly. ]

Is it the light or the dark you fight for?

[He stills at the question, his eyes widening in surprise. It's not a question he had been expecting, but it's one he's spent a lot of time coming up with an answer to.]

I fight for the light because I fight for my friends. But there's both in me and I couldn't eliminate the darkness anymore than I could eliminate the light. I've found my own path between them.

[His head tilts to the side slightly as he studies Kadaj's face more closely.]

What about you?

I was made from the depths of ones own darkness.

[ He smiles, so nonchalant about it before he laughs a little. ]

Or maybe it was his genius that turned into darkness. [ Or insanity in some ways. ] Either way, there's no such thing as light within me. I just... don't understand that part of a person.

[ It's then that he comes to slow some in his steps, strands of silver brushing across his face once more as bright green eyes look to the fellow teenager beside him. ]

Does that bother you? Make you feel... uncomfortable around me?

Edited 2020-05-20 22:15 (UTC)

[If he was still connecting to his original abilities he would have been able to answer the question for himself without asking. While strengthening his dark abilities he had developed the ability to smell darkness on a person. But not here.

But somehow, he's not surprised by Kadaj's admission. Maybe he's just spent enough time around people with similar circumstances that some part of him is able to recognize it.]

...Not really. I've known a few people like you. [He thinks of Ansem and Xehanort's Heartless. Pieces of a man who sunk himself deep in the darkness.]

But you haven't done anything to make me think badly of you.

[ That... surprises him? Yes, yes it does! He doesn't feel the least bit wary or uncomfortable around someone who more or less just admitted to being a Very Bad Person? How strange- how strange the people around here are! But then again... he has a point. He hasn't done anything to warrant such harsh treatment or a cold rebuff. At least not to Riku here. Yet? Maybe! It's so hard to tell what his mood will be some days!

But he stands there with curiosity flickering within his bright green eyes, almost as if he is the unsure one now. They look so similar, don't they? The hair, the eyes, the... demeanor? Well, not really. But still! So similar in appearance. They really could be distant brothers too, couldn't they? ]

You know people like me?

[ That piques his interest, head canting to the side. ]

Are they... here?

[Riku should perhaps be more on guard now because of what Kadaj has told him. But, well, back home Demyx is on the side of the Organization, but here he's somehow managed to become...not a friend...but someone Riku and the others don't mind having around.

If he can be friendly with someone who is usually an enemy, then he can overlook Kadaj's unknown past. Because none of it really matters while they're here. And it has nothing to do with him. He can appreciate what it means to offer someone a clean slate.]

Yeah, kind of. I don't know that they're completely the same. Do you know anything about Heartless and Nobodies? [But what Kadaj described does sound similar to Xehanort and his Heartless and Nobody.]

No, they're not.

No...

[ And there's something so genuinely soft in the way he says that, strands of silver hair falling in front of his face, hiding the shimmering bright green of his eyes. ]

But that's definitely what I am. [ And with a slow grin coming to his lips: ] Heartless.

[ That would normally make one raise a brow or two, wouldn't it? Back away and want nothing to do with him? Oh how will his new friend here react to that? He'll just... have to see! Won't he? ]

I once saw the way two people cared for each other and it... made me sad. To think I would never have that and no one could ever care for me the way I wish Mother would... [ But his soft words break off into quiet laughter. ] ...but then I got angry for feeling that and attacked them. They were in my way though.

[He understands what Kadaj means, but he also senses that the boy is waiting for something. Some kind of reaction. As if his words are supposed to shock Riku or something. So the situation definitely calls for some good old fashioned dry humor.]

I doubt it. You're too tall to be a Heartless.

[The rest calls for a different kind of reaction. And as he listens to Kadaj tell his story he can't help but feel a little...sorry for him. Not in a pitying way. But something akin to understanding. It reminds him a dark moment in his own life, when he too had struck out in violence.]

That doesn't sound like heartlessness to me. That sounds like jealousy. [He says the words carefully. Not to taunt Kadaj. But as a statement.]

(closed) you may not miss me but i am not ashamed

riku

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