[closed] what's been on your mind?

[sealeted]

Who: Hakuno and Enkidu
When: After the Network Debacles
Where: The Sumerian Suite (aka their shared apartment)
What: It's been a rough one-two punch of a couple days for Hakuno. Enkidu, a perplexed observer to the whole thing, has some questions
Warnings: None yet

It had been a half-drowsy, half-desperate impulse, when Hakuno had typed out that anonymous post. The reception had been varied, to say the least, but Hakuno had come out of it with at least a few solid ideas of what to do, and the mortification of being caught literally mid-response by Enkidu themselves, from across the same room. The embarrassment had faded a bit overnight, at least, but, well...

Well.

Then Gilgamesh went and magnanimously—she's sure that's his view of it—put her up on the block for marriage of all things. Even now, hours later, Hakuno struggles to wrap her mind around it. As is the case usually, it's a decision built on internally consistent logic, even if it isn't exactly the kind most could come close to comprehending. But, that doesn't mean she agrees with or supports his choice, especially when it was made on her behalf as a surprise.

She sigh heavily as she finally enters the apartment, shuffling out of her boots and moving to flop out on the couch, resting her arm over her eyes.

Completely unbelievable," she mutters. "He's completely unbelievable."

Comments

[sealeted]

"Then don't call them friends." Her voice is firm—but there's an honest note of pleading, too. "That's—I know it's confusing, but call them... companions. Allies. Anything but friends, because it's... basically, when you tell him to get more friends, you're telling him that he should just fall in love more. That what he feels for you isn't special." And she sincerely doubts that is reflective of Enkidu's actual feelings.

She squeezes back, securely in their grip. "I never doubted that," she assures them, honest and open.

Above all else, she knows that Enkidu loves Gilgamesh. Above all else, down to her bones, she knows that they earnestly pray for his happiness, in life and death and the in between.

You don't have to, she tries to say, but somehow what comes out is a meek, pink-cheeked, "...mouth, please."

[enkidoh]

It is confusing but, to be fair, humanity itself is confusing. Possessing the knowledge about humans did not mean they understand how to be one. Because, in a way they are one. Or more like one. At least they're not entirely made of clay anymore, yet they also do not qualify as a human. There are nuances in emotions and feelings. And in friendships as well.

Enkidu cannot imagine what it means if he would fall in love with another or fall in love more. Wouldn't that just mean that his soul grows? That he moves forward, driven by his own will to do so? What would happen if he would fall in love with another person? Is it something they should not approve of?

"I want him to be happy, Hakuno. If my feelings are similar to love, they have always been that way and will remain so until the end of time. It would sadden me if I would be the one who stops his soul from growing. Therefore I will never stop him when it comes to finding another friend. Or another one to fall in love with."

A soft humming sound escapes their mouth before they slide a hand over her cheek and press their lips against hers, capturing her upper lip between their own.

[sealeted]

"Saying that is only making him unhappy," she tries again. "It means... he's going to have to explain this to you, in detail. But imagine this as taking a crown he carefully worked on making for you and throwing it to strangers in a crowd. It's like that, sort of. Does that—"

She's cut off with the kiss, her voice muting to soft, squeak of a sigh.

They're—gentle. Warm. Her heart is racing, but her lungs aren't burning with strain. Tentatively, she kisses back.

[enkidoh]

In a way there's only one way to explain it.

"He is finding himself a wife. So he is willing to become another person's boyfriend. Those are bonds that cannot be ignored and I would not dare to discourage him to chase them. There is more to this than happiness or unhappiness. Or even love. When his soul is able to grow I will take a step back. If the strength of his will urges him forward I will make room.

It would make me unhappy to hold him back and in the end that will make him unhappy as well."

They will hold back and allow him to choose the path he wants to take. Still they will not stop feeling what they feel. That warmth, that thing that makes their heart skip a beat.

And this kiss. It is a kiss born out of curiosity and maybe they just want to let her know that kissing is actually quite great. Enkidu hums softly when she kisses back and slowly, ever so slowly, they part their lips a little, inviting her to claim their mouth.

[sealeted]

There is so much that Hakuno wants to, needs to say to that sad, self-sacrificing declaration, but her wind is unfortunately, wonderfully, absolutely blank if anything but their mouth on hers in this moment. A dam of sorts has been breached, and half-remembered fragments of dreamed memories she has tried her utmost to shove to the back of her mind and ignore, because as far as she was concerned youthful tumbles in cool, foreign grasses should stay between the two of them.

But, unavoidably, when she kisses them back and some of the shyness melts into fascinated and slightly needy interest, there’s no way they won’t notice shades of a younger and (relatively) less experienced Gilgamesh seeping through.

She deepens the kiss cautiously at first, testing the waters, and the gradually stumbles down the slippery slope of her own too-ignored interest and curiosity, growing bolder and more assertive without quite realizing it, until her mouth is hungry on theirs and her hands are curled in their shirt and hair, cradling them close.

[enkidoh]

To be fair, Enkidu wants to leave it at that. The matter is confusing as it is and they do not even know how to name most feelings. But they do realize that that warm feeling, that thing they refer to as coming home and feeling connected, that that might be love. And they know that love is an important thing to humans. In all the stories they know of love is one of the key feelings that motivates humans, it is something they want to feel, something they need to survive.

In a way it is odd to think of themselves as someone who relates to humans in such a way.

So it is good that they kiss and that they can focus on that. Kissing is nice. Kissing can be a connection but kissing can also be pleasure. It can be a greeting. An experiment. What it is, it makes them feel curious and a surprised noise makes it out of their mouth when she starts to push back against their lips. But after that Hakuno grows bold enough to hold on to their hair and shirt while claiming their mouth in a most forward way.

And in a situation like this it is only logic to return the favor. To let their tongue slide against hers and push back with the same intensity. To deepen it, to infuse it with a sense of pleasure.

[sealeted]

Kissing, as she admitted, has rarely been anything other than a tool or a goodbye, and so when faced with what it should be—at it's most basic, at the pleasure they assured her of—she doesn't have any resistance built up at all. Frankly, it's so enjoyable—so new—so exciting—that it's enough to drive her tipsy.

She pulls back occasionally, parting briefly for soft, panting breaths, before shifting back to their mouth, needy and fascinated in equal measure.

Somewhere along the way, this has snowballed into the sort of thing she has been very, very careful not to fantasize about. This has turned into something that has her clinging close and sighing soft, ragged breaths into their mouth, something that makes her heart thunder in her chest and her mind grow hazy. This, she is too addled to notice, has mounted into something particularly dangerous to the careful, composed, respectful space she has tried to maintain in this apartment.