Lorenz "I'm an 11" Hellman Gloucester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bergamotrose) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
middaeg2020-02-10 09:51 pm
bergamotrose) wrote in middaeg2020-02-10 09:51 pm
[Open] February Catch-All | Pegasus Moon
Who: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester + Open (with potential closed starters as needed)
When: Full Moon and after
Where: Throughout Aefenglom
What: Lorenz finds himself facing the consequences of not having his priorities straight.
Warnings: Possible body horror. Will update as needed.
A
[It was a miscalculation.
That was what he would tell himself later, after the dust had settled. It was a miscalculation of a variety of factors that he had neither predicted nor given the appropriate weight in his planning. The first was finding others from his land with yet a different set of memories than the ones he had already encountered, and navigating the particular frustration of not being able to determine who among them was friend or foe. The second, Lapis Lazuli. The ferocity of the rage that boiled within her was far more intense than he had realized, and it was a disruption in the plans he was trying to pursue with her. As much as he wanted to trust her as an equal, for the moment that was impossible. The third...
Marianne.
In an ideal setting, they would have been of similar age and had met with the same trials. She would have faced the darkness inside her heart and made peace with it, and they could have moved forward. But she had arrived in this realm as she was five years prior-- seemingly fragile, certainly untempered, and as liable to shy away as she was to explode in her fear. That alone would have been enough to still Lorenz's own plans, but then she had been taken. Taken, and forced to endure an untold number of disrespects that she was still reluctant to speak of. She, among all of those in this realm from Fodlan, had faced the most trauma in Aefenglom.
And yet, she was the least able to accept the final verdict delivered by the judge.
Knowing all of this in his heart, Lorenz was faced with a singular certainty that she needed his protection. But, that certainty was coupled with the fact that he felt he could not interfere.
He itched to write something-- a poem. Anything. 'Amid time’s flow I mourn bonds I’m not sure I can ever rend...' It left an unsettled feeling in his fingers that crept up his arms and firmly clenched his swiftly beating heart in it's fist, binding him to it's will.
At least he had the foresight to lock the bedroom door. Stocked in his personal quarters were sundry items that he suspected he would need until dawn--
But, it wasn't enough.
The wave of pain that met his body as he caught a glimpse of the full moon slowly dawning over the horizon had him biting his tongue in shock. Hands clenched tightly upon the rails of his bed in a white knucked bid for support as his knees buckled beneath him, changing configuration into something wholly unfamiliar. His ears burned, his vision blurred--
Amid the disjointed thoughts that rolled in a tangle in his mind was one recurring thread: Marianne. He couldn't let Marianne see him like this.
He knew he shouldn't be alone. Yet, unbonded as he was, he had no choice.
Finding his footing, Lorenz took the only course he could think of: Flee. Throwing the window to his bedroom wide open, Lorenz leapt for the freedom of the night. The late winter chill of the wind helped him have a grip on his intention, kept his awareness sharp.
Thus, with an inhuman stillness he crept through the shadows of the city, intent on making it to his destination unimpeded: The Harbor.
The salty air at the docks, the frigid bite of the sea, would surely help.]
B
[It was a miscalculation, yet here he was.
Lorenz sat on the edge of the dock, wrapped in a blanket he had procured from parts unknown while his unfamiliar feet dangled in the empty space wrought by low tide. His silken hair hung in his face and clung to the ears that now twitched in the cold breeze, tangled with muck and dirt that Lorenz was too hesitant to attempt to define. Uncomfortable and exhausted, Lorenz squinted out over the crisp horizon while he attempted to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest and the distinct knowledge that he was certain his flight from Haven had not been as clean as he had wished.
People had seen him. They had to. If they hadn't, they surely would in the near future.
Huffing irritably, Lorenz idly picked at the delicate swatches of velvet that were now hanging from his antlers.]
This must make quite a sight,
[He mused darkly, bitterly. After spending so much time keeping his appearances in a perfectly coiffed illusion of grandeur, Lorenz knew there was no coming back from this.]
When: Full Moon and after
Where: Throughout Aefenglom
What: Lorenz finds himself facing the consequences of not having his priorities straight.
Warnings: Possible body horror. Will update as needed.
A
[It was a miscalculation.
That was what he would tell himself later, after the dust had settled. It was a miscalculation of a variety of factors that he had neither predicted nor given the appropriate weight in his planning. The first was finding others from his land with yet a different set of memories than the ones he had already encountered, and navigating the particular frustration of not being able to determine who among them was friend or foe. The second, Lapis Lazuli. The ferocity of the rage that boiled within her was far more intense than he had realized, and it was a disruption in the plans he was trying to pursue with her. As much as he wanted to trust her as an equal, for the moment that was impossible. The third...
Marianne.
In an ideal setting, they would have been of similar age and had met with the same trials. She would have faced the darkness inside her heart and made peace with it, and they could have moved forward. But she had arrived in this realm as she was five years prior-- seemingly fragile, certainly untempered, and as liable to shy away as she was to explode in her fear. That alone would have been enough to still Lorenz's own plans, but then she had been taken. Taken, and forced to endure an untold number of disrespects that she was still reluctant to speak of. She, among all of those in this realm from Fodlan, had faced the most trauma in Aefenglom.
And yet, she was the least able to accept the final verdict delivered by the judge.
Knowing all of this in his heart, Lorenz was faced with a singular certainty that she needed his protection. But, that certainty was coupled with the fact that he felt he could not interfere.
He itched to write something-- a poem. Anything. 'Amid time’s flow I mourn bonds I’m not sure I can ever rend...' It left an unsettled feeling in his fingers that crept up his arms and firmly clenched his swiftly beating heart in it's fist, binding him to it's will.
At least he had the foresight to lock the bedroom door. Stocked in his personal quarters were sundry items that he suspected he would need until dawn--
But, it wasn't enough.
The wave of pain that met his body as he caught a glimpse of the full moon slowly dawning over the horizon had him biting his tongue in shock. Hands clenched tightly upon the rails of his bed in a white knucked bid for support as his knees buckled beneath him, changing configuration into something wholly unfamiliar. His ears burned, his vision blurred--
Amid the disjointed thoughts that rolled in a tangle in his mind was one recurring thread: Marianne. He couldn't let Marianne see him like this.
He knew he shouldn't be alone. Yet, unbonded as he was, he had no choice.
Finding his footing, Lorenz took the only course he could think of: Flee. Throwing the window to his bedroom wide open, Lorenz leapt for the freedom of the night. The late winter chill of the wind helped him have a grip on his intention, kept his awareness sharp.
Thus, with an inhuman stillness he crept through the shadows of the city, intent on making it to his destination unimpeded: The Harbor.
The salty air at the docks, the frigid bite of the sea, would surely help.]
B
[It was a miscalculation, yet here he was.
Lorenz sat on the edge of the dock, wrapped in a blanket he had procured from parts unknown while his unfamiliar feet dangled in the empty space wrought by low tide. His silken hair hung in his face and clung to the ears that now twitched in the cold breeze, tangled with muck and dirt that Lorenz was too hesitant to attempt to define. Uncomfortable and exhausted, Lorenz squinted out over the crisp horizon while he attempted to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest and the distinct knowledge that he was certain his flight from Haven had not been as clean as he had wished.
People had seen him. They had to. If they hadn't, they surely would in the near future.
Huffing irritably, Lorenz idly picked at the delicate swatches of velvet that were now hanging from his antlers.]
This must make quite a sight,
[He mused darkly, bitterly. After spending so much time keeping his appearances in a perfectly coiffed illusion of grandeur, Lorenz knew there was no coming back from this.]
no subject
[To that he did sound uncertain, not over his words but over the judgements he might receive. There was a darkness in his heart that he preferred to keep under wraps. He had long made peace with it, but commentary would be too much to bear.]
no subject
[She can't help the inquiry, there's no judgment, though. Just pure confusion.]
Don't you have people from your own world you can count on?
no subject
Hubert and Edelgard... we are not close. And Marianne, well...
I am not certain we are compatible in this manner. Where I was prepared to end those who harmed her with my own lance if needed, she prayed to the Goddess to have mercy upon their souls. With someone as gentle as that, I fear being a reason for her to be hurt during our time here.
Others also arrived recently but, like with Hubert and Edelgard, we are not close.
no subject
[Lapis shakes her head. Would the situation be like her and Steven? Though, if she thinks on it, Peridot had been a good temper for herself, tempering her feelings of anger and anxiety.]
That's not how it works. When me and Peridot were bonded, she kept me grounded. Any time I was upset she kind of... [She motions vaguely with her hand, sitting upright.] Well, she made it easier. You don't think that'd be the same for you?
no subject
[He levelled his gaze upon her steadily, knowing full well that the complicated factors were such that Lapis might not understand.]
And I would be the reason for that guilt. No many supportive words or feelings I can offer to her right now, that is the fact of the matter. She.... is afraid of something deeply personal to her in our world, and the changes this world brought to me-- to us all-- is representative of that problem.
Likely, she will not look at me the same when I return to her. Having those feelings reflected in my own heart would simply make an already complex situation more difficult than it must be.
no subject
Well... I'm here for you, for what it's worth.
no subject
[And, truly, her viewpoints would be invaluable from what he understood. Gem society was far different than anything he could imagine, but it seemed that she had witnessed things far stranger than the monster transformations in Aefenglom.
Perhaps, even, experienced them herself.]
For what it's worth, I'll continue standing by your side as well.