Lorenz "I'm an 11" Hellman Gloucester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bergamotrose) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
middaeg2020-02-10 09:51 pm
bergamotrose) wrote in middaeg2020-02-10 09:51 pm
[Open] February Catch-All | Pegasus Moon
Who: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester + Open (with potential closed starters as needed)
When: Full Moon and after
Where: Throughout Aefenglom
What: Lorenz finds himself facing the consequences of not having his priorities straight.
Warnings: Possible body horror. Will update as needed.
A
[It was a miscalculation.
That was what he would tell himself later, after the dust had settled. It was a miscalculation of a variety of factors that he had neither predicted nor given the appropriate weight in his planning. The first was finding others from his land with yet a different set of memories than the ones he had already encountered, and navigating the particular frustration of not being able to determine who among them was friend or foe. The second, Lapis Lazuli. The ferocity of the rage that boiled within her was far more intense than he had realized, and it was a disruption in the plans he was trying to pursue with her. As much as he wanted to trust her as an equal, for the moment that was impossible. The third...
Marianne.
In an ideal setting, they would have been of similar age and had met with the same trials. She would have faced the darkness inside her heart and made peace with it, and they could have moved forward. But she had arrived in this realm as she was five years prior-- seemingly fragile, certainly untempered, and as liable to shy away as she was to explode in her fear. That alone would have been enough to still Lorenz's own plans, but then she had been taken. Taken, and forced to endure an untold number of disrespects that she was still reluctant to speak of. She, among all of those in this realm from Fodlan, had faced the most trauma in Aefenglom.
And yet, she was the least able to accept the final verdict delivered by the judge.
Knowing all of this in his heart, Lorenz was faced with a singular certainty that she needed his protection. But, that certainty was coupled with the fact that he felt he could not interfere.
He itched to write something-- a poem. Anything. 'Amid time’s flow I mourn bonds I’m not sure I can ever rend...' It left an unsettled feeling in his fingers that crept up his arms and firmly clenched his swiftly beating heart in it's fist, binding him to it's will.
At least he had the foresight to lock the bedroom door. Stocked in his personal quarters were sundry items that he suspected he would need until dawn--
But, it wasn't enough.
The wave of pain that met his body as he caught a glimpse of the full moon slowly dawning over the horizon had him biting his tongue in shock. Hands clenched tightly upon the rails of his bed in a white knucked bid for support as his knees buckled beneath him, changing configuration into something wholly unfamiliar. His ears burned, his vision blurred--
Amid the disjointed thoughts that rolled in a tangle in his mind was one recurring thread: Marianne. He couldn't let Marianne see him like this.
He knew he shouldn't be alone. Yet, unbonded as he was, he had no choice.
Finding his footing, Lorenz took the only course he could think of: Flee. Throwing the window to his bedroom wide open, Lorenz leapt for the freedom of the night. The late winter chill of the wind helped him have a grip on his intention, kept his awareness sharp.
Thus, with an inhuman stillness he crept through the shadows of the city, intent on making it to his destination unimpeded: The Harbor.
The salty air at the docks, the frigid bite of the sea, would surely help.]
B
[It was a miscalculation, yet here he was.
Lorenz sat on the edge of the dock, wrapped in a blanket he had procured from parts unknown while his unfamiliar feet dangled in the empty space wrought by low tide. His silken hair hung in his face and clung to the ears that now twitched in the cold breeze, tangled with muck and dirt that Lorenz was too hesitant to attempt to define. Uncomfortable and exhausted, Lorenz squinted out over the crisp horizon while he attempted to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest and the distinct knowledge that he was certain his flight from Haven had not been as clean as he had wished.
People had seen him. They had to. If they hadn't, they surely would in the near future.
Huffing irritably, Lorenz idly picked at the delicate swatches of velvet that were now hanging from his antlers.]
This must make quite a sight,
[He mused darkly, bitterly. After spending so much time keeping his appearances in a perfectly coiffed illusion of grandeur, Lorenz knew there was no coming back from this.]
When: Full Moon and after
Where: Throughout Aefenglom
What: Lorenz finds himself facing the consequences of not having his priorities straight.
Warnings: Possible body horror. Will update as needed.
A
[It was a miscalculation.
That was what he would tell himself later, after the dust had settled. It was a miscalculation of a variety of factors that he had neither predicted nor given the appropriate weight in his planning. The first was finding others from his land with yet a different set of memories than the ones he had already encountered, and navigating the particular frustration of not being able to determine who among them was friend or foe. The second, Lapis Lazuli. The ferocity of the rage that boiled within her was far more intense than he had realized, and it was a disruption in the plans he was trying to pursue with her. As much as he wanted to trust her as an equal, for the moment that was impossible. The third...
Marianne.
In an ideal setting, they would have been of similar age and had met with the same trials. She would have faced the darkness inside her heart and made peace with it, and they could have moved forward. But she had arrived in this realm as she was five years prior-- seemingly fragile, certainly untempered, and as liable to shy away as she was to explode in her fear. That alone would have been enough to still Lorenz's own plans, but then she had been taken. Taken, and forced to endure an untold number of disrespects that she was still reluctant to speak of. She, among all of those in this realm from Fodlan, had faced the most trauma in Aefenglom.
And yet, she was the least able to accept the final verdict delivered by the judge.
Knowing all of this in his heart, Lorenz was faced with a singular certainty that she needed his protection. But, that certainty was coupled with the fact that he felt he could not interfere.
He itched to write something-- a poem. Anything. 'Amid time’s flow I mourn bonds I’m not sure I can ever rend...' It left an unsettled feeling in his fingers that crept up his arms and firmly clenched his swiftly beating heart in it's fist, binding him to it's will.
At least he had the foresight to lock the bedroom door. Stocked in his personal quarters were sundry items that he suspected he would need until dawn--
But, it wasn't enough.
The wave of pain that met his body as he caught a glimpse of the full moon slowly dawning over the horizon had him biting his tongue in shock. Hands clenched tightly upon the rails of his bed in a white knucked bid for support as his knees buckled beneath him, changing configuration into something wholly unfamiliar. His ears burned, his vision blurred--
Amid the disjointed thoughts that rolled in a tangle in his mind was one recurring thread: Marianne. He couldn't let Marianne see him like this.
He knew he shouldn't be alone. Yet, unbonded as he was, he had no choice.
Finding his footing, Lorenz took the only course he could think of: Flee. Throwing the window to his bedroom wide open, Lorenz leapt for the freedom of the night. The late winter chill of the wind helped him have a grip on his intention, kept his awareness sharp.
Thus, with an inhuman stillness he crept through the shadows of the city, intent on making it to his destination unimpeded: The Harbor.
The salty air at the docks, the frigid bite of the sea, would surely help.]
B
[It was a miscalculation, yet here he was.
Lorenz sat on the edge of the dock, wrapped in a blanket he had procured from parts unknown while his unfamiliar feet dangled in the empty space wrought by low tide. His silken hair hung in his face and clung to the ears that now twitched in the cold breeze, tangled with muck and dirt that Lorenz was too hesitant to attempt to define. Uncomfortable and exhausted, Lorenz squinted out over the crisp horizon while he attempted to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest and the distinct knowledge that he was certain his flight from Haven had not been as clean as he had wished.
People had seen him. They had to. If they hadn't, they surely would in the near future.
Huffing irritably, Lorenz idly picked at the delicate swatches of velvet that were now hanging from his antlers.]
This must make quite a sight,
[He mused darkly, bitterly. After spending so much time keeping his appearances in a perfectly coiffed illusion of grandeur, Lorenz knew there was no coming back from this.]
Wildcard!
He can breathe through all of one nostril right now, and through it he smells... mud. Salt water? Most strongly, though, the scent of wet animal, which is strange enough to drag him from a stupor and make him open his eyes.
There's a big brown-and-violet smudge draped across the sofa opposite him that takes a moment to resolve while Felix's vision swims. They're... hooves. Hooves, and attached to them, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester. Felix stares, for once in his life managing to look properly aghast. ]
What in—Lorenz?
no subject
His hands trembled, even as he quickly scrawled a pen across the page of a notebook he was currently borrowing just so he could get his thoughts into a coherent order.]
...Felix.
[He said with an overemphasized briskness and formality. His silken hair, now cleaned of the muck, was tied into a neat tail that flowed down the back of his head.]
Should you give in to your impulses, you'll find that I make a poor meal. Even if politeness does sustain you... pleasant conversation is difficult right now.
[The pen continued scratching the paper as he spoke, the end of the stylus trembling with every motion: 'The fog in my heart froze into a milky rime, unkenned by the light of the Pegasus Moon.']
no subject
From the way he's scrawling across the page like it's a race, Lorenz is feeling it, too. Felix's eyes settle on the frantic fluttering of his pen for just a moment too long, which sets the room spinning around him again and forces him to press a hand over his eyes. He groans quietly. He cannot believe this is happening. ]
Is that a joke? I'm not going to eat you.
[ His middle and forefingers part, showing a glimpse of an eye just starting to develop a few gleaming flecks of gold, glancing down at Lorenz's cloven hooves draped off the couch. He lets out a quiet noise of disgust and covers his eyes again, muttering quietly: ]
...I like my meat with a little less hair on it, anyway. What happened to you?
no subject
Glancing at Felix once more, he canted his head to the side in an exaggerated show of nonchalance.]
Oh, nothing. A miscalculation.
[A big one, and he was tired of lectures for the evening.]
no subject
You mean the moon got the better of you.
[ He doesn't have to look outside to know it's full tonight. He can feel it in every bone of his body, tugging on the edge of his awareness like a thread tied to his mind. Lorenz has been here for longer than he has, though, and clearly the effects were far more potent for him.
Felix isn't in much of a position to judge. Sylvain has already peeled him off the floor once today, and he's hardly left this chair since. Mostly because he's finding it difficult to walk a straight line down the hall, and that's humiliating enough he doesn't even want to make the attempt. ]
You know, out of all of us, I would've thought you'd be the one to keep it together.
[ In Felix talk, that's practically almost a compliment, if poorly executed. ]
1/2
First: Lorenz wasn't certain of whether or not the subtlties in Felix's tone were sharpened as a knife or a jab made in jest.
Second: How dare?????]
2/2
[Lorenz said after he found his mental footing and balance again, irritably tugging at the length of his hair despite how it was neatly pulled from his face.]
For several moons. The... weight of recent affairs became too difficult to carry without a partner for this particular one.
[He would have managed okay if not for last month. He would have downed a potion along with a veritable case of wine, locked himself in his room, and fought for sleep until the sun returned just as he had done until this point.]
no subject
Lorenz. I was being sincere. It's impressive you kept it under control that long.
[ He's beginning to realize that for all his pride in his own self-control, the nature this world has assigned him is inexorable. It can't be bottled up or wrestled into submission. The same, too, for Lorenz, who has somehow still carried on all these months without falling apart. ]
...and I'm not certain I'm in a position to scoff at you for breaking when you did. Not after what happened to Marianne.
no subject
He was only one person himself. Inevitably, he would need someone he could speak candidly to.]
Many people had their hardships during those weeks. The city itself was aflame when the disappearances started, and the pressure we felt from the native residents during the weeks after was difficult to bear. All of us from the Mirrors were pariahs to a certain extent. Differences of opinion are expected normally, but a great many had no idea how to help us, and couldn't even face us themselves.
I thought myself as a steel beam of support for others at th at time. Most of my contacts were safe-- Marianne was the only exception. But you know yourself how brittle steel can be when it isn't properly balanced.
[A sigh.]
It was a practice in poor planning. I should have made certain my supports were secure before I tried to be a support for others.
no subject
[ Felix won't disagree with him. Steel poorly tempered by the smith is a death sentence in the hand of the swordsman. And while the consequences for Lorenz may not have been quite as severe, Felix knows the danger was there, all the same.
On the other hand, there's a value in learning lessons the hard way. Felix waves a hand negligently. ]
But the hand cut upon the edge of the blade learns best not to recklessly test its sharpness. You won't make that same mistake again, now, will you?
no subject
Yes.... that's correct.
[But, with one bridge in need of repair and another bridge currently inaccessable in terms of the witches he was the closest to trusting, his options were brought down to one.]
Felix. With your permission... I was considering asking Sylvain when we are both in our right mind.
[...Why, yes. He knew who wore the pants in this relationship.]
no subject
Then I—wait. What?
[ The unspoken question on the subject of Lorenz's bonds, though, that's another thing entirely. Felix blinks, startled, and after a moment he scoffs quietly and drops his face into one hand. ]
What are you asking my permission for? He doesn't do a thing I tell him to. I can't even get him to step out of the path of an arrow on a good day.
no subject
Because you are the one here who knows him the best, [Lorenz said simply. Even from the Alliance, that much was plain for everyone to see.]
And because there is a rapport between the two of you that I lack-- even with our shared interests. If you feel that such a move isn't wise or if it bothers you, then please say so.
no subject
With a quiet, frustrated noise, Felix rubs at the back of his neck, feeling strange to be suddenly put in the position of—what, deciding how Sylvain handles his partnerships? It's never been any of his business. ]
It doesn't bother me. It's what must be done, isn't it? It's only practical.
[ His gaze snaps briefly back to Lorenz. He has one concern. Only the one. And it has nothing to do with himself. ]
I care more about whether it bothers him. He's not as open as he wants to pretend. You cannot force him to give you anything of himself he doesn't want to, do you understand? Don't use it to pry.
no subject
There were some problems that simply were not worth fighting against.
But the realm they currently resided in had ways of making life difficult for everyone, with no exemptions. It was high time Lorenz was called to pay his dues.
Nodding quietly, Lorenz closed his eyes and lifted a hand as if making a vow:]
I solemnly swear that I will not press him into anything he does not wish to do.
[Huffing, he opened an eye to regard Felix.]
Not that I would anyway. We are all private people, and I am not so selfish as to hurt another for my own petty wishes.
[Risks to himself were apparently a different matter entirely.]
Obviously, we both need to consent. I'll be sure to wait until he's of a clear mind... it is not as if I can easily leave, as it were.
[Stairs. Lorenz didn't wish to risk breaking his brand new faun legs as soon as he got them.]
no subject
Good. Because if you hurt him, you'll answer to me.
[ That's all he feels the need to say on the matter. Lorenz should know by now he's true to his word, or at least his threats. ]
It's not as if anyone's keeping you here, you know. You're free to go if you...
[ His eyes slide back down to Lorenz's cloven hooves, and finally he seems to realize what's happened. The silence ticks on for a span of seconds—and then he barks out a laugh. There's something grimly amusing about this. ]
Ha. You've forgotten how to walk, haven't you? [ As though Felix isn't in the exact same state at the moment, albeit for different reasons. ] We make quite a pair, don't we? Trapped in this dusty library, all for not being able to walk a straight line out of here. How pathetic.
no subject
I-it is not as though I've forgotten!
[Lorenz sputtered despite himself, his well practiced calm immediately being thrown aside over this petty barb]
It-- they-- I miscalculated.
[He was going to cling to that excuse until his dying breath. That he miscalculated.]
no subject
Am I wrong? You've got a brand new set of legs that work in an entirely different way than you're accustomed to.
[ Hooves. Hooves that bend at the joints in a brand new way. Felix isn't going to go so far as to say Lorenz is practically a baby learning his legs now, because he's not about to endure more sputtering, but, well—in a way, he is. ]
Better to admit you're learning how to walk all over again than be overconfident and break your neck.
no subject
You're correct on all counts. Sylvain went out of his way to help me here... and there was likely a good reason he left me upstairs.
[Although the likelyhood was that Sylvain left him upstairs was because of his own exhaustion, Lorenz was in enough of a mood to feel that there may have been a personal slight involved. Or, at the very least, a way to make sure that Lorenz didn't try to leave so easily.]
no subject
Likely the same reason he left me here. He's smarter than he pretends. Though I could've done without the smell of goat interrupting my nap.
[ Casually, he stretches a leg out, scooting one of his several stacks of books from the library across the floorboards in Lorenz's direction. ]
If you're going to be here a while, make yourself useful. I've been skimming these all evening, sorting them by genre. Maybe you'll find something interesting in amongst the harlequins.
[ ...No he hasn't been reading trashy romance novels all evening, why do you ask? ]
no subject
[Note: the antlers.
Pouting, Lorenz reached for the topmost book on the pile and admired the cover which featured a dainty witch enrobed in the passionate embrace of her Turnskin partner, eyebrow quirking upward in interest at the witch's discreet lack of clothing and the suggestive nature of their posture.]
...This certainly seems to cater to a particular audience.
[He quipped, running his finger along the pages as he peruses the brief synopsis on the interior pages. Truly, it seemed that housewives needed entertainment no matter what world they were in.]
no subject
They're not mine, before you try to imply anything. They're what was left in the library when we moved into this place. Everything else was taken, maybe by looters, maybe by the Coven.
[ Felix picks up another book from his own stack and thumbs through it. Looks like a children's book on plants both poisonous and non—not the most ideal material, but hey, maybe it'll be useful, so he sets that one aside in the pile of what few reference books he's found. ]
Clearly, they only left behind what they thought had no value.
no subject
[Lorenz commented, letting the barb slid as he thumbed through the romance novel. It was decently sized, for what he guessed was a production on the scale of a potboiler publication.]
Not all the details are blatant. Sometimes you can learn details of history and culture by paying attention to context. Something that the public deems too ordinary to have value may provide background for a great many details for us Mirror Bound.
no subject
...And then his eyes wander to the none-too-subtle cover of the book Lorenz is currently holding, and one eyebrow arches upward. ]
And what should I think of the fact that the people here find the idea of a turnskin and a witch together risqué?
no subject
[Lorenz said, unwittingly taking on the pedantic airs of a seasoned literary critic-- or, perhaps, even a writer.]
The romance between the two women on the cover is a metaphore for how the traditional values of the society no longer serve the current generation of people. The witch, hailing from an elite household, has clearly Bonded with a turnskin from a more humble and pragmatic family. The melodies they learned growing up are entirely different, yet when harmonized together they weave an entire performance that shows that the differences that separate us may actually be what makes us stronger and more balanced as a community when we put those individual talents together.
(no subject)
(no subject)