(open | february log)

[fulgency]

Who: Ozymandias + you!
When: All month!
Where: Lots of places!
What: Open prompts for speed-dating quest/general + closed starters. Feel free to message me at rebreather or this journal if you'd like a closed starter!
Warnings: nsfw in caren's thread

Comments

[fulgency]

[It would be equally possible and not for Fang to recognize the look in Ozymandias' eyes when he looks in her direction again. It tends to not last very long when it does make its appearance as it's the look he gets whenever there is something he wishes to say. But rather than it dissipating as he begins to speak, Ozymandias says nothing and the look lingers.]

[Her words... They are clearly a philosophy. A mantra that's been repeated so many times that there's hardly any thought put into them anymore. It's rote memorization of a will onto the machinations of life. Probably something she's supplied to others, too, when they appear to be struggling to overcome something terrible. And the sentiment is not terrible, it's just...]

[Ozymandias sighs quietly.]

[It's probably the difference between the two of them because all Ozymandias has is the past. His life on Earth has long-since been over and it seems unlikely that he should ever be rewarded with the afterlife that was promised to him as pharaoh. He shall spend eternity -- or at the very least, as long as humanity continues -- being brought back into consciousness again and again with perhaps some recollection of the previous time if he is fortunate. And when his time has come to an end because he chose not to serve the Master who summoned him or he falls in battle, he shall return to the Throne unchanged, simply exactly as he was only to start the process anew.]

[Beyond his life that created his legacy, there is simply nothing else for Ozymandias. And so, of course, it means so much to him. He thinks of his wife, of his brother, so very often. He thinks of his triumphs and his regrets. They are all things that he carries forward with him after each summoning, with all of his decisions once he has agreed to fight alongside a Master.]

[Is any of that really something Fang can understand? Ozymandias has doubts. Despite her age, despite her experience and all the various violations upon her freedom and ability to live, she is still alive. Physically, Ozymandias appears young, but he still carries with him the fullness of his life, while her story has not yet reached its conclusion. It is difficult then to see why a past should matter when there was still yet a future. Even if the future did not seem particularly hopeful or bright, it was still a future. It is far easier to continue forging ahead towards that than to stop and consider the past.]

Spare me. I am still your elder, Fang, and your friend. [And he knows that eventually, the past will catch up to her. She may be able to push it aside again and again, but it's not something she can do forever. Ignoring it doesn't make it matter less. He has no real control over what she does, but he will not turn a blind eye.] Praise me when I do something worthy of it, not something that is predictable and expected.

[So, no amount of discouragement from her will get Ozymandias to leave her to it.]

Will you be available tomorrow? I won't be at Parliament, but I do need to return some texts to the library.

[belligerentwarrior]

[Who's to say it hasn't already found her with its claws, swallowing those dearest to her whole and leaving her to wallow powerlessly in a glorified graveyard for ten years?]

[A look she would've recognized if Fang were watching. Her hands close around the paper shreds in her hand, clench into a feeble fist. He means well. It's a departure of their usual conventions, even if it's nowhere near confiding, it's still more honest than they typically are with one another. Ozymandias means well, but something about his sigh, about his words, that scrap unpleasantly across her tired nerves. Her brow and the edges of her mouth twitch downward at her fist, and she plows forward as if he'd never asked a question.]

Spare you? What, you want me to say I'm fallin' apart at the seams? Should I swoon and go, [her voice pitches falsely upwards,] "oh wise elder, solve all my problems!"

[Fang leans back against the couch, arms spreading along the back, finally turning her gaze back to him. She was a proud woman, but it was a comfortable and malleable sort of pride, not the brittle kind that cracked against every offense. A part of her knew she wasn't at her best, snapping and prickling like this.]

I'm not gonna pretend I'm not a right mess, but it's not lip-service when I say I'll get a handle on it.

[fulgency]

[Ozymandias' posture straightens as she snaps at him, likely making it clear he anticipated more a response to his question and sweeping this aside and letting the topic drop than anything else. But it's not a look of a surprise that flickers ever so briefly in Ozymandias' expression. It's more akin to what might happen if one were to place a hand unwittingly upon a hot surface, in that fraction of a second before reflex sharply withdrawing the now injured hand. But he straightens and the look is gone just as quickly as it appeared, replaced by something far more measured and contained.]

[He opens his mouth about to say...only gods know what. There seems to be many things he could say to any of this. Some of it perhaps reflect too much of that expression. There are probably also words that probably are more offensive and angrier than is really warranted or helpful. But what point is there in telling her that he'd rather the truth than listening to her try to convince herself that after enough time it won't matter when it so clearly will? She's made it clear where the line is, and he has overstepped it already. Ozymandias closes his mouth, jaw clenching for a moment as his gaze drops to the floor near Fang's feet. With the next breath, the tension is released.]

Very well. [His voice is quiet, even. Ozymandias lifts his gaze back to her, his expression now neutral. He might as well be looking at a stranger.] If that is your wish, then I shall leave you to it.

[He doesn't revisit his question. He doesn't issue command or permission to leave. He doesn't say goodbye. Ozymandias takes a few steps back towards the doorway before turning to leave the room. With as sensitive as Fang's hearing is, she'll no doubt recognize the sound of his steps ascending the stairs after he's out of sight.]