Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (
thisisamazing) wrote in
middaeg2020-02-03 01:11 pm
Entry tags:
[CLOSED] you spoke my language, and touched my limbs
Who: Hiccup Haddock and Newt Scamander
When: Forward dated to the 8th or 9th
Where: The Phoenix Tear / Newt's place
What: Two soft men try to stop being dumb about each other.
Warnings: None, they're too soft.
[It's been nearly a week- has it been a week? A week of dancing around each other, avoiding deeper conversation than brief greetings or requests. Newt had taken off a few days ago to observe the nesting Snowbirds around the farmland, and Hiccup... had stayed behind, to keep working on the repairs the Phoenix Tear needs and care for the animals. He can do that much.
It's been a long several days, but he's spoken to some people, spent plenty of time away from the house getting his frustrations out in the air, and has even spent a lot of time up on the Bright Wall, next to his and Percy's ballista, thinking in the cool air. He's had to reflect on a lot in the last week, ever since learning about Newt's feelings for him. He's probably gotten glimpses of his feelings through the Bond - the confusion, the conflict, the deep ache in his chest the longer they go without talking to each other. He's not used to trying to block off his side of the Bond, and while he tries it once or twice when he's especially frustrated, he doesn't turn to it often. He never has before, never needed to.
He wants that back. It isn't that he doesn't love Astrid, far from it, but... he's figured out pretty certainly that he loves Newt, too. And if he can only have this while they remain in Aefenglom, maybe they owe it to each other to try. But all of that depends on what Newt says too, what he wants.
This evening, Hiccup has finished the evening feedings, and is in the kitchen making a pot of tea. Sharpshot is stationed on the roof outside, just above the door, tail swishing back and forth - alert. The Terror will start "singing" (more like warbling) as soon as he spots Newt, which will let Hiccup know that he's arrived. Newt can probably feel the twinge of nerves coming from Hiccup; he's a little anxious about this, but he doesn't want to let them go another day only speaking a few awkward, stilted words to each other. That much he's sure of.
He pours a cup and prepares it the way Newt likes it, then pours one for himself, waiting for him to get home.]
When: Forward dated to the 8th or 9th
Where: The Phoenix Tear / Newt's place
What: Two soft men try to stop being dumb about each other.
Warnings: None, they're too soft.
[It's been nearly a week- has it been a week? A week of dancing around each other, avoiding deeper conversation than brief greetings or requests. Newt had taken off a few days ago to observe the nesting Snowbirds around the farmland, and Hiccup... had stayed behind, to keep working on the repairs the Phoenix Tear needs and care for the animals. He can do that much.
It's been a long several days, but he's spoken to some people, spent plenty of time away from the house getting his frustrations out in the air, and has even spent a lot of time up on the Bright Wall, next to his and Percy's ballista, thinking in the cool air. He's had to reflect on a lot in the last week, ever since learning about Newt's feelings for him. He's probably gotten glimpses of his feelings through the Bond - the confusion, the conflict, the deep ache in his chest the longer they go without talking to each other. He's not used to trying to block off his side of the Bond, and while he tries it once or twice when he's especially frustrated, he doesn't turn to it often. He never has before, never needed to.
He wants that back. It isn't that he doesn't love Astrid, far from it, but... he's figured out pretty certainly that he loves Newt, too. And if he can only have this while they remain in Aefenglom, maybe they owe it to each other to try. But all of that depends on what Newt says too, what he wants.
This evening, Hiccup has finished the evening feedings, and is in the kitchen making a pot of tea. Sharpshot is stationed on the roof outside, just above the door, tail swishing back and forth - alert. The Terror will start "singing" (more like warbling) as soon as he spots Newt, which will let Hiccup know that he's arrived. Newt can probably feel the twinge of nerves coming from Hiccup; he's a little anxious about this, but he doesn't want to let them go another day only speaking a few awkward, stilted words to each other. That much he's sure of.
He pours a cup and prepares it the way Newt likes it, then pours one for himself, waiting for him to get home.]

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He quietly follows the other and takes a seat on the couch. Not close to Hiccup like he normally would. It was more of a respectable distance like they were playing a game of chess. Careful moves as they try to navigate each other as they had been since what had happened.
He thinks over the promise.] I can try, Hiccup. [It isn't that he doesn't want to be honest to Hiccup, but more of Newt understanding himself enough to know he kind of does it. Sometimes unconsciously.] It's a learning process. [At least he's admitting it. He knows that he has, and for awhile, the tendency to put others before himself. In every possible way.]
I don't- it isn't that I mean to, uhm, hide things.
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You, uh, you kind of meant to hide that you liked me. For months. [It's not an accusation, but it is a fact, and he looks down for a moment, rubbing at the back of his neck, before taking a steeling breath.]
Okay, so. Um. I really... I am sorry, for the way things went. It just- I was surprised. I've never been good at... knowing when someone likes me. And I think if I... let myself not see it, I wouldn't have to look deeper at what was happening and think about what it meant. It wasn't purposeful, I was honestly- I was blindsided.
Growing up, we thought my mom was dead, ever since I was a baby. I told you that, right? [There is a point to this. He just has to reach it. Easier said than done with Hiccup, but he hopes that Newt will hear him out. He can probably practically feel the words that haven't been said yet, on the tip of Hiccup's tongue, through the Bond.]
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I was okay with it, I suppose. I enjoyed your company and it wasn't as though I was bothered. If you didn't reciprocate. [And he had a tendency to just assume. He wasn't popular back home (though fame had changed that somewhat), so he just assumed.] I didn't want to complicate matters. [Which is hilarious, because it did end up, well, complicating things. Ironic. He doesn't know if it would have complicated things anyways had he brought it up on his own, but it isn't as though they could change that.]
Not in much detail. [Small details had came up, but he doesn't recall a time he had talked at length about it.] I grew up with just me mum and brother.
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His voice lowers a little here.] You just- assumed that I don't. Reciprocate.
[And then a soft breath, a quick exhale meant to get him back on track.] Did your mom ever remarry? My- my dad never did. I remember asking once, when I was five, and I came downstairs to find him crying by the hearth. I- I asked him if he was going to find me a new mom, and... He said that my mom was the only woman for him. The love of his life. [He has to swipe away a stubborn drop of moisture from the corner of his eye here.]
That's what I thought, for the longest time. That there's only one person for you out there in the world. Astrid was the only person I ever felt this way for back on Berk, too, so... I never had to think about it.
Now, now I'm realizing maybe... maybe that isn't how it works. Maybe life isn't that simple.
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I- [The statement is befuddling. Does that mean Hiccup did? How is he supposed to take that.] Yes?
[There's a shake of his head.] No. Well, it's hard to remarry when you have two kids, I think. Financial burden and children belonging to a different father. Not everyone wants that. Extra baggage so to speak. We weren't an incredibly wealthy family. [It probably sounds crazy to Hiccup, but in larger societies and more "advanced" societies, there was less of a community when there's just that much more people.] I think she was content with the most part though. She had us and she had the hippogriffs.
I suppose circumstances are very different between us. In much smaller communities, there's sometimes less to learn. People fall in and out of love often, I think. And some grow to love multiple. It's actually quite common in many species of anima-I'm getting quite off track. [A nervous laugh and then he just stops and goes quiet. Quiet, but Hiccup could feel the flurry of emotions despite being quiet. Newt almost wonders if the other can tell how much his heart wants to leave his chest.] What do you mean?
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Hiccup chews on his bottom lip a little. Maybe he's the only one who picked up that lesson in error, and he feels a little foolish, to assume that... that love would be so one and done. Then again, maybe on Berk, it would have been.] It wasn't something I saw very often. And- I've learned that here, I think, that maybe it isn't so uncommon to care for more than one person in that way. [He can't help but smile down at his hands, trying to hold it back, when Newt nearly goes off on a tangent about animal mating behavior. That's so like him, even in a moment like this, and that's... That's one of the reasons he likes him so much. He wouldn't be Newt otherwise.]
Thor knows I never expected to wind up in a new world, or to meet someone like you. I never had to really... think about it any deeper before now, but... I do like you, Newt. A lot. You're amazing, and- I don't know if you want me, as I am, because I- I don't know how to stop loving Astrid, I don't think I could, but I also don't know how... to stop loving you.
It was never about how I feel or don't feel about you. It's everything else that makes things- complicated. And I just, need to be honest about that. But, I want to figure it out, together?
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Newt gives a bit of a helpless shrug.] It isn't bad. Monogamy. It's still incredibly common. Probably more common than not with people. [It was just how society decided to advance, he thinks. Even Newt cannot deny that. He had loved Leta, then he had fallen for Tina.] I'm sweet on someone back home, Hiccup. [Newt had never really talked much about his private life, had he? Not even to Hiccup. At least, not about who he had loved and all. It never really came up, but also maybe it's an issue. He was terribly private about many of his affairs.] I traveled illegally to find her. I don't think it's fair to ask people to throw away what they had back home because we eventually will. Return home. [Well, that's what they're all hoping, right? Although, things are precarious back home that he isn't sure what to feel about that. That's unimportant though.] Awhile ago, I had experienced some parts of my life. While here. I don't think I talked much about it, but I imagine that you saw how it affected me. It's a little unfair, this place. We can still experience our own lives while keeping us here, but still taking people away. Things here aren't so stable. Astrid could appear as could Tina. As could either of us disappearing.
[He takes a breath before releasing it.] There are things that I know that are constant though. Honestly, I can't help but be a bit gobsmacked that you were completely oblivious. While it had obviously worked to my hopes about it not surfacing, it really is impressive. [Hiccup, you idiot.] But, my feelings haven't changed in months. They haven't changed in this awfully awkward week either.
[Newt rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.] I fancy you quite a bit. You know.
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Except with Hiccup knowing about Newt's feelings. That had put them in entirely different libraries. Well.] Traveled illegally to- of course you did. [He can't help but laugh because it's so Newt, and he's so fond of him, and also just... relieved, that if they do take this step together, that they have similar situations and neither one will have to feel jealous or abandoned. They can enjoy the time they have here.
With love comes loss, his father had also said that night. But it's always worth it.] Is- Is it wrong that... makes me feel a lot better? I just. Yeah, some day we'll both eventually go home. We have to. I've got Berk and the dragons and Astrid, and you've got your other creatures and- your brother, and Tina, and everything else. I wasn't sure what you might say, so this... [Means that they can figure things out. Means that maybe this will work.
He smiles down at his hands again, letting out a helpless laugh.] I told you, I'm- I'm really bad at this. Astrid would kiss me sometimes, when we were fifteen, and I still thought we were just friends. But it's- it's on you too, you know, for thinking that I could never- Really, Newt? [They're both muttonheads.
He edges a little closer on the couch, reaching out for one of Newt's hands with both of his, smiling soft and fond.] I know now. And I- I like you a lot, too. If you want, we can... try, together. Love is always worth it. [A little embarrassed laugh.] That's- another piece of Stoick the Vast wisdom, right there.
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Yet stumbled with Newt. Well, Newt's circumstances with Tina were also quite different, but whatever.
And, honestly, he isn't even sure where exactly him and Tina stood. Things were a bit awkward during Paris.] Yes. Everything else. [Hiccup can probably feel it. The uncertainty mixed with Newt's dismissive comment. An unwillingness to talk about those troubles though. Just that something loomed over the horizon and it didn't seem to bode well.
But at least Newt can be distracted. He looks at the other and just-] Hiccup. You guys snogged and you still thought you were just friends? How on bloody hell was I supposed to think you fancied me when your idea of what friends do is befuddling. [Seriously, like. What. All this time, was Hiccup just saying they were best friends because he didn't realize BEST FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT?] Do you normally snog your mate? [This is a serious question.
He's trying to take this seriously, but honestly, Hiccup really has him gobsmacked. Newt doesn't even realize how Hiccup moves closer and how his fingers curl around Hiccup's own.] Your dad should have given you the wisdom about kissing apparently. [He's teasing. A bit.]
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Now isn't the time for it. Now... Now, Hiccup is feeling lighter, and he wants to keep this mood good, because they both deserve it after everything that's happened here. If that means Newt laughing at him, he'll take it.]
She said it too! We were best friends, who sometimes kissed on special occasions! [They were mixed up teenagers who didn't know at all what they were doing, too busy trying to figure out dragon-riding to try and figure out each other, for a good three years.] You couldn't have known, but you didn't have to assume being friends meant nothing else was possible!
[His laughter comes easier now, bubbling out of him as he curls his hands around Newt's, smiling a little wider.] You have the weirdest words for things. If by 'snog' you mean kiss, and by 'mate' you mean best friend, then yes. [Sagely:] All the time.
I'll show you what I know about kissing. [He tugs him in gently, now close enough that their legs touch, and he leans in to steal a kiss, much less hesitant than the one they shared under the mistletoe. So much more sure, and firm.]
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Oh.
Whatever was on the tip of his tongue dies and whatever he was thinking was gone. All he can suddenly fixate on is how close Hiccup was and Hiccup's lips on his and how wonderful it was. And maybe he just melts a little and his eyes flutter closed as he kisses back. Shy and inexperienced.]
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Kissing Newt is incredible. He doesn't seem to know totally what he's doing, but that's fine, the way Newt relaxes into his touch like that is a gift. Hiccup settles a hand on the outside of his thigh to steady himself, not always the most balanced in unusual positions, and kisses him like a promise, like an apology for the last week of awkward uncertainty. He's not shy, really, but he does keep it tame for now, chaste, not wanting to go for too much too fast. They can take it slower, they have time now.
It's not like a way home is going to reveal itself tomorrow.
After a bit, he pulls back just enough, keeping their foreheads pressed together, and smiles.] I like it better without the enchanted mistletoe.
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And he can't help the smile on his face. The breath of air he exhales that he hadn't realized he might have been holding.] Yes. I agree. I much prefer this. [All the stress and anxiety he had been feeling seems to just leave his body. It's almost laughable that this had been so distressing.]
I was never fond of it. Enchanted mistletoe. Not that, well, kissing you has ever been an issue. [If it was, it was wanted. Not that Newt will say that out loud.]
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[That's over now. Well- maybe not completely, but now, at least, they don't have to feel bad or hide what they want. They're on the same page.]
It's better when I know you want it, and that we're not just doing it to get our feet unstuck. [He laughs, leaning in again to curl his arm around Newt, resting very gently against him.]
I know things could have happened in a nicer way, but- I'm glad we got here.
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[Newt is all stiff and a little awkward. The closeness of the other was nice, but he doesn't really know what to do. He's probably overthinking it all.]
I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable.
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[He can feel it. How Newt's gone a little stiff, a little tense. He's trying to feel out how he might be feeling through the Bond, but it's difficult for Hiccup when it's this nuanced. Slowly, he pulls back just a little, regarding him with a soft look.]
I still am. Is this... too much? You can always tell me, you know. Now that- now that we've gotten past this, you can tell me anything.
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No, no. It isn't something I'm used to. I'm sorry. It'll take me a bit of time to grow used to. I've never been particularly, uhm, physical in any capacity. It's very new to me.
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That's okay. You don't have to apologize. I'm- sorry, I'm usually- [A physical person, someone who likes to touch and be touched, even if it's just casual or platonic. He's playful with those he loves. His hesitance is long gone, after his relationship with Astrid.] Just- tell me if you ever don't like something.
[Here, his smile turns a little playful, and he reaches for his hand again.] I hope you get used to it eventually. I uh- I like this.
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It's- That's not something you have to apologize about. I just- I suppose I wish I weren't quite so, well, awkward. [He shouldn't be this hesitant with physical affection at his age, right?] I guess I had just spent so much of my time with animals and taking very little time to interact with others proper.
It- Well, better late than ever, right? [Newt gently places his hand in Hiccup's own. A willingness to try.]
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Like now, when he says he wishes he wasn't awkward, and Hiccup can only laugh softly and shift a little closer, squeezing the hand that slips into his.] It- it doesn't matter to me. You know that, right? We'll get comfortable together. [It might take time but that's fine - they've got it now. As much as they both may have left in Aefenglom.] I like you. Awkwardness and all.
[He smiles wide, looking like everything's just gone his way, and he steals another brief, sweet kiss.] It... it happened when it was supposed to happen. I don't think we would have gotten this far if we hadn't been friends first.
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He laughs a little. Something sheepish.] I do. I would like to, well, return the gestures. [At least at the same level as the other, though he doesn't think that will ever happen with how affectionate the other seems. For now, Hiccup will have to take shy kisses and gentle hand holding and the like until Newt opens up to the other more.]
We were quite daft about it all. [A chuckle after the other kisses him.] I don't think it would have happened unless we were close. [Though, Newt typically didn't make such close bonds with just anyone. He valued the people in his life more than others might.]
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And he will happily take whatever he's given. Whatever Newt is comfortable with.] I'd like that too. Don't feel rushed, but- but I like this. A lot. [He can probably feel it through the Bond, how delighted Hiccup is at every little kiss and brush of his hand. It's possibly a little pathetic, but- well. He's just a bit touch-starved.]
It was a misunderstanding. I can't believe you thought me calling us friends meant I wouldn't- wouldn't be interested when I've definitely never been... interested in anyone I wasn't already friends with. [Friends to lovers is just how he does relationships, apparently. All two of them now.]
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Newt might not initiate too much, but at least they can happily stay curled up together on the couch. How he tucks himself against Hiccup comfortably after they had been avoiding each other for that stretch of time. It was awful and felt like an eternity and maybe he didn't truly realize how much he yearned for this closeness.]
I- You know, I think we'll be at this all day. I would like to push pass how much dawdling that was done. [A little huff.]
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He kisses the side of his head, still grinning, unable to quite stop.] As long as it took me to realize, are you surprised if I'm at it all day? [A quiet laugh.] Okay. I'll drop it. It's time for us to just be happy.
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We'd be at it for months if we went with how long it took you to realize. [Newt retorts with a slight shake of his head. A grin on his face.] There are things I much rather talk about. Oh! They were quite gorgeous. The snowbirds! Beautiful creatures. [Newt's face lights up immediately when he remembers that he had just returned from his trip and what his trip was about.]
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[He can't help but return the smile, arm curling around his shoulders, comfortable and happy and warm all over. Newt is back to being Newt, enthusiastic over a new species of creature, and Hiccup's heart is full to listen to him.] You found some? Tell me everything! What were they like?
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[He laughs softly.] They were wonderful! Quite darling, actually. I found them so wonderful and very playful. Curious and wonderful creatures they were. The young ones were very happy to play. Their feathers- Oh! The feathers are gorgeous. I really should show you some. I learned so much while I was out there. Their habitats and their habits and particulars. You really should see them. I think you'd love them too. Beautiful things- [There he goes.]
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Newt's enthusiasm is infectious, and he doesn't even tease at how many times he calls the snowbirds 'wonderful', too eager to hear about the little creatures and share this with him.] Now I'm sorry I missed it! Take me tomorrow? Are they still nesting near the city? I'd love to see them.
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We can go tomorrow! I, well, I had intended to go back, but I was running low on certain supplies. [It hadn't been to avoid the other. Not completely. Newt really didn't need any sort of excuse to end up away from civilization for days to weeks (or months) on end after all.
He's getting up and heading to where he had left his case. It wasn't that he wasn't comfortable, but that he was quite excited to show the other what he had brought back. He assumes Hiccup will follow anyways.] I think they'll be there still for a bit of time. If we get errands done and everything prepared, we can possibly leave by early afternoon- [Newt seems to be wrapped up in preparations and ignoring the fact that his body still needed proper rest.
Hiccup just got him worked up is all.]
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Sure enough, when Newt gets up, he follows, subconsciously missing the line of warmth pressed against his side but also interested in the things that have Newt's interest captured.] Tomorrow, then! We'll get everything sorted and head out. [He can't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, resting a hand gently on his shoulder blade.]
Tonight you should probably rest. I sort of cornered you right as you got in the door. Do you want anything first?
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Newt pauses when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. It's only a slight pause before he prattles on about supplies and other necessities and he waves the other off as though to let the other know he heard him while being equally dismissive about it.
He's much too absorbed in showing the other everything as he opens the briefcase to start his descent into the case.] Yes, of course. But first, you really must see how gorgeous these feathers are. They're quite fetching. We can have tea after this. [Please stop this man. He is a danger to himself.] I've also got sketches of them, though they aren't quite as good as my usual and it really is quite unfortunate. I think I took some photos of them because of that. Would do me no good when I have the ability to have pictures of them alongside drawings.
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Okay, okay! I do want to see the feathers, and your pictures! Show me, and then tea. [And then bed, but he doesn't say that yet. He is loathe to end their night too quickly now.] I'm excited to go see the real thing tomorrow, though. They sound beautiful.
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He finally hands Hiccup a stack of loose papers. All of them have sketches of varying quality along with a plethora of notes scribbled wherever he could fit them (that wasn't taken up with drawing). Newt himself seems to be rambling, but it's hard to say if he's directing it at the other or just talking to himself at this point while he continues to putz around.
Eventually, he pulls a glass jar out filled with feathers. They're crystalline and quite fetching.] You must see them before they leave. It would be an opportunity lost otherwise.
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He takes the papers obligingly, looking through them with interest he doesn't have to feign, taking in the sketches and the notes - even just the chaotic sprawl of his new partner's handwriting.] I can't wait. I wouldn't miss it for anything. [He says with a laugh, looking up from the papers to the feathers in the glass jar, sparkling when they catch the light.]
Oh wow, they really look like ice or crystal-