middaeg | [Closed] February Catch All

The gesture makes her brows raise a bit, a pink flush warming her cheeks and the tips of her long ears as she bites her lip, but she does not pull her hand away. It's fine, she's fine, they're just playing pretend a little to have some fun, that's all. She lifts her opposite hand to cover her mouth as she clears her throat, and when she drops it, her smile is back in place.

"It has just... been quite some time since I have traveled anywhere by carriage, is all I meant," she explains as she pulls her skirts up and steps up into the cart. "I am grateful that you thought of me to share this evening with. Getting away from everything for a little while... is a temptation even I find myself hardly able to resist at the moment."

Which is a lot for Miss "Can't even allow herself to look sad without feeling guilty" to admit as much.

That is exactly what Edelgard is doing. She's playing at something gallant, the knight that a princess deserves, despite being no true knight and someone who's not overly found of the chivalric codes. Church doctrine being integral to them, she's truly only playing.

"I think you will find yourself in plentiful company in that regard, Zelda. I myself have succumbed to such a temptation, clearly."

She steps up after Zelda, settling down beside the blonde woman, curling her hand gently up over her own. The gloves she's chosen are soft, pure white, and holding tightly as the carriage lurches into motion.

"It all seems so normal, or what would pass for normal at home. Though it's been some years since I traveled by carriage myself. I tend to ride horses, pegusai or wyverns into battle, and so find myself in the saddle more often than a seat."

Ah, hm. Her fingers twitch slightly under Edelgard's, a strange nervous energy bubbling within her chest. Playing pretend is one thing, and easily rationalized, but... mm, affectionate physical contact is still somewhat of a novel concept, even with the exposure her touchy Bonded have subjected her to. Still, she doesn't pull her hand away. The soft texture of Edelgard's glove is nice, and keeps her a bit warmer than she might otherwise be; this gifted coat of hers is geared a bit more towards being fashionable than battling the elements, admittedly.

It's normal, or what passes as normal. She looks out and watches the houses of the Haven pass by for a moment before Edelgard's conversation pulls her attention back out of her thoughts.

"Pegusai and wyverns-- like those written of in the old bestiary texts here? Goodness, I cannot imagine what riding upon one of those must be like. I feel like I would be too afraid of falling to ever take off of the ground."

That one chaotic weekend where she had harpy wings was an outlier and will not be counted.

"It's something that we train for in Fodlan. Pegusai only accept women as riders, but wyverns can be taught to bear anyone. We have specialized knights that work with one or the other, oftentimes. There are strappings to secure one into the saddle. It is not for those afraid of heights, though."

She doesn't have any particular fear of it, but Hubert does, definitely. Reasons why his dream of flight will always go unfulfilled.

"The beasts themselves are well trained. So, it's more secure than you might think. Though, there's always danger when flying into battle."

"I would not say I am afraid of heights in and of themselves, per se..." she offers, contemplatively. No, she's climbed too many trees and jumped across too many roofs to say that. "I guess... I would simply find it difficult to trust the beast not to spook and buck me off while in the thick of things."

Trust, and the difficulty of doing so, is a recurring theme around her, she's beginning to realize. Being on her own for so long, it's like a muscle that's been left to atrophy.

"But I suppose those specialized knights must spend a great deal of time with their beasts to form that bond. Did you have one that you were particularly close to in Fodlan?"

She's beginning to notice trust issues being a common theme with Zelda...who hurt you, girl?

"One, yes. A wyvern I had named Flugel."

Edelgard was not a creative person when it came to names.

"I never really bonded with a pegasus the same way. I favor armor, as you've seen, and they are much lighter and less sturdy."

A problem, of course, when you weigh as much as a fully armored Edelgard does. Though, she still enjoys the beast's company.

"Does Hyrule not have people who train warhorses?"

Zelda is not much better in the naming department (yes, let's name the Sheikah persona Sheik, that's imaginative), so Edelgard receives no judgement there.

"We... did, yes."

Her answer to that question comes out haltingly, stilted in a way that suggests difficultly in getting the words to come out. Her hand in Edelgard's tightens, and she forces herself to breathe and not allow panic to cloud her thoughts. She refuses to have a repeat of her mess at the masquerade, not when they're trying to relax.

"There was even a white horse in the stables that was technically mine, though I was too young to ride her alone at the time." A pause. It's not as though Edelgard doesn't know that something terrible happened to Hyrule already, even if she doesn't have all the details, but Zelda still has to swallow her courage down before she continue with a relatively even voice. "But... unfortunately, much of the structure of the knights was destroyed in the war. The knighthood, and the army as a whole, will need to be rebuilt from the ground up upon my return."

Totally chill things to admit while on a not-date, right?

It's fortunate for her that Edelgard is intent on letting Zelda tell her own tale in her own time. She will ask, soon, about the Calamity Ganon that the other Zelda had mentioned, but not this night. In time, though.

"Something I have no doubt that you are capable of," she says brightly, smile not faltering at all. She's good at this. At feigning relaxation and diverting conversation, because that was her whole youth. The girl who could never be at ease pretending to be just another princess. Just another student.

"You've a descendant that arrived recently, with the last group of newcomers. I hate to divert the subject, but she seems pleasant."

Perhaps later, when she's laid up at night and unable to sleep as she often is, she'll reflect on the evening's events and wonder about how easily Edelgard was able to shrug off the unpleasant implications of her admittance, and steer the conversation away from the truth Zelda is sure the Emperor is slowly piecing together in her mind. Perhaps later, but for now she simply sighs, breath clouding in the cool air, thankful to move the spotlight away from her own tragedy.

"Yes, she does," she agrees, though it remains clear that their introduction was... a rather weighty one. "A blessing in so many ways... It is difficult enough as it is to wrap my head around the whole prospect; I cannot say how I would be doing right now if she had not shown such patience and understanding."

"I can scarcely imagine. But her presence does bode well. Your kingdom survives, continues, and your legacy is laid, written in the stone of history."

It's a weighty topic, but it's perhaps easier to talk on than some other things. She's not sure about her own legacy, but she does know that it's going to far outlast her. Whatever it is.

"She seems very clever. I was fortunate enough to talk to her at length. After mistaking her for your sibling, though."

Zelda... laughs, a little, at that, though it's more the sound of pressure releasing than real, genuine amusement, "It is rather incredible that we share so many physical traits, is it not? Hopefully it does not become a bother for others to keep up with."

She already knows what it's like to be on the other end of that particular misunderstanding, and quite frankly she's just waiting for Caster to tease her about the shoe now being on the other foot.

"... There are things she has told me that I wish she and her kingdom did not have to struggle against, but... I suppose you do have a point. It is better that she exists and survives than if she did not."

"She...has told me some of her struggle. And of some of the history of Hyrule."

Edelgard does not prevaricate on topics like this. It's not right, nor is it fair to Zelda to offer a false impression of what they've discussed. She's had some of the truth given to her, and while she isn't going to press, she wants her friend aware that she is available to listen.

"But again we stray towards weighty topics." Squeezing Zelda's hand, Edelgard peers into her friend's eyes.

"We are both so bad at relaxing, aren't we?"

"... Yes, it would seem that way."

Zelda admits with a sigh, shoulders sagging. Here she is, ruining yet another evening with the ghosts of her past. And to what end? Edelgard knows, and so will everyone else in due time. She can't control the narrative of her country's troubles anymore.

A moment later, her head slumps to the side, finding a spot to rest on Edelgard's shoulder. Perhaps it would be seen as an overly familiar gesture, but her body feels so heavy, and some part of her hopes that Edelgard won't mind.

"I am sorry, for hiding these things." It also means she doesn't have to bear the burden of eye-contact as she admits this. "I truly am. I just... I fear I would be thought an ill fit for the crown, if I were to tell of all that happened. ... I value your opinion too much to have the courage to risk that."

And she is very obviously traumatized as well, but that hardly factors into her conscious reasoning. She's just a coward that can't bear for people to know the truth, that's all.

She does not mind in the slightest. Edelgard shifts her weight to make it more comfortable for Zelda, and casually slides her cloak around the two of them, unlinking her fingers only a moment, then returning to the hand-holding gesture. She might even like it, if that's an indication.

"You should have no fear of that. We...all...get nervous about such things at times. I think that the love you bear for your people is more than enough to qualify you for the crown. A poor fit would be a Zelda that doesn't care."

Everything she does, she does for her people. That's the philosophy she's brought to ruling. It may be a hard time at first, but things will change, and will for Zelda as well.

"I could never see you as anything but a fine Princess, and even Queen, Zelda."

She's... warm. It's still so strange. She spent so long keeping everything and everyone at arm's length, even those she held above all others, believing in her soul that it was the only way she would ever be safe. And it was, for a while, but perhaps... it's not that way any more. Perhaps so much of the grief she's experienced in this world has ultimately been self-inflicted, because she's failed to adapt.

Perhaps. It's something to think about. She pinches the hem of Edelgard's cloak between her thumb and forefinger and pulls it over her a little more, accepting the warmth found in it. Edelgard's faith stirs a small smile out of her, one that's weak on one side, and she ducks her head to stare at their boots to hide it.

"... Can that really be enough? Just-- to care?" She definitely cares; too much, some would say. But even so, she has to swallow her courage down before she can continue. "Even... to make up for past mistakes?"

It seems... so trivial, when put like that, when the weight she's been carrying upon her shoulders feels so herculean. That can't be all she needs to do... can it?

Edelgard takes the opportunity to pull Zelda a touch closer, so the cloak lays more thoroughly over the two of them. It's a cold night, and what cold night isn't made better, more bearable, by the presence of a friend? It is not a service she'll be able to provide forever, but it is something she wants to offer up, here and now.

"Yes," Edelgard answers without a hint of hesitation. "You cannot get everything right all the time, but caring? Placing the interests of your people at the forefront of your life...that's more than many rulers are capable of doing. The...entity...that had defacto control over my own homeland certainly did not."

Leaning her head down, resting it against the other woman's shoulder, she allows some of the tension she always holds back to seep out of her, allowing herself to unburden this all.

"Caring is the first step. I know many lords and ladies that care more about their own personal power, and their people suffer for not only for their mistakes but for their lack of caring. You'll find the the power and the courage to do what will heal your kingdom through your care and your empathy. It may be a hard road, but it is a road you will see the end of."

Guilt has been her constant companion for so very long. Its weight so familiar that she's convinced herself she'll never be free of its burden, no matter how she attempts to atone for the suffering her actions have wrought. And there's been nothing to challenge that perception, until she fell through a mirror into another world.

And here and now, with Edelgard's head on her shoulder, hand in her hand, huddled together as she speaks with her gentle but confident voice because the cold doesn't care about titles or duty...

It feels a little like absolution. A thin hope, to be sure; one that will no doubt flicker and fade away once this evening ends, but for a moment, that stone in her chest has been shifted, and it feels... nice. The princess sniffles a little, a tear or two slipping out from the corners of her eyes and drawing cold tracks down her cheeks, but she smiles, leaning her head against Edelgard's as she feels her slowly relax.

"Thank you, Edelgard," is all she can think to say at first. "I have... long believed I would need to be near perfect, both to atone and to be the pillar of strength Hyrule will need in order to rebuild, but... when you say it, it is... easier to think that perhaps that is not necessary."

Habits and beliefs don't change overnight, but if someone like Edelgard sees that in her, she can hardly discount it, can she?

"... I promise, I will tell you my story someday," this is said while she snuggles down under Edelgard's cloak a little more. "But... I think I would like to attempt 'relaxing' again this evening, if you up for it."

Honestly, just riding around the city and ignoring the festivities all together doesn't sound so bad right now.

Edelgard, surprised by the sudden outpouring of emotion in the woman beside her, quietly tightens her hand in a show of solidarity. There's very, very little about this situation that is familiar to her, but she can rely on instinct, and at the moment that is telling her to remain still and simply be.

Let Zelda do as she needs, and simply be there for her.

The brush of her hair against Edelgard's prompts her to shift the cloak to better encompass the two of them. It's a huge cloak, so it is not hard. And more to the point, it seems to be making her evening companion happy, or at least it feels so.

"Then...let's skip the festivities and simply ride, this evening," she suggests in a gentle voice, pitched so that their driver can hear them. "I've no desire to disrupt this peaceful and placid moment with the potential rowdiness of a party. I rather enjoy your company a great deal more than that sort of thing."

[Closed] February Catch All

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