middaeg | Are you brave enough to see? [open]

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Are you brave enough to see? [open]

Who: Berserker (Cú Chulainn Alter) and you!
When: Throughout Feoveuer
Where: The Wilde
What: Wilde Quest #2 Dragon's Den -- a dragon would like you to stop leaving him food offerings and go away
Warnings: none

((NOTE: Berserker will be in his full-sized dragon form, meaning he's about the size of an elephant, so keep that in mind!))

[ 1. Will you bite the hand that feeds? (Existing CR) ]

[ Food has been showing up at the mouth of the den he'd set up since he showed up in the Wilde. It's been an annoyance and it's not like he can tell them to cut it the fuck out. Instead, he just moves the offerings inside (mostly to prevent drawing in any wild creatures that might want to partake). Well, at least he won't go hungry.

Nearby footsteps draw his attention from where he's laying. He peeks his head out of the den and narrows his eyes. The dragon recognizes who's coming and huffs out a sigh. ]

... You came to find me, didn't you? Don't tell me you brought food, too.

[ 2. Will you chew until it bleeds? (New CR) ]

[ The sound of something being dropped near the opening of his temporary home gets Berserker to stand up and look out. It's not a mirrorbound that's familiar to him, so he's not about to be very friendly to them -- he's out here to be alone, after all. ]

Leave what you've brought and go before my kindness runs out.

[ Someone is a cranky boy. ]

[ 3. Will you get up off your knees? (Wildcard) ]

[ Did we plot something? Have an idea for this quest? Drop me a starter or PM me here or on Discord glitzkrieg#0673 and we can work something out! ]

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[ Trevor, what the fuck.

Berserker sits up to stare at him. ]

You're an idiot. That means there's even less reason for me to let you stay.

Well, I'm tired. So you'll just have to throw me out.

[ And he sure does flop himself down onto the bed and intends to stay there. Yep. ]

[ Berserker crawls over top of him, growling. It's not...quite threatening, but close. ]

It's not my concern if you're tired. You will leave when I tell you to leave.

[ Though with the way he's positioned himself now, he's made that more difficult. ]

I made this den my own and I choose who gets to stay here...

[ Cranky and possessive is certainly a different set of emotions to be experiencing, so good job, Trevor??? ]

[ That's what he's here for?? Or something. But, being curled up on his side and all, he turns his head enough to look over his shoulder to the dragon and just... peeks an eye open. Staring at him. Before he shuts it again. ]

Or you could just lay down here with me.

[ That would mean admitting defeat!!

But it's easier. So with an annoyed sigh, he lays down alongside Trevor. He just doesn't have the energy to deal with him right now, much less the energy to throw him out. ]

You are leaving when you wake up.

[ Whatever helps you sleep at night, Berserker. ]

Mhm.

[ That's a MAYBE in Trevor language. But he comes to roll onto his back then, eyes slowly blinking up to the roof of the den. ]

Do you care about your bonded? I mean... do you feel something for them?

[ Berserker remains on his side and lets an arm drape over Trevor. It's hard for him to lay any other way for very long with his wings. The question gives him pause -- it feels like a stupid thing to ask. ]

Of course I do...I care for both of them deeply. [ His third, gone now, he cared for, too. The emptiness of that severed Bond flares up at the thought of him. The dragon swallows and looks uncomfortable for a moment. ] You care about yours, don't you?

[ He's quiet for a long moment after the question is given to him, teeth dragging over his lower lip before he sighs. ]

It's... not like that. It was done as a means to keep me under control. So I didn't end up hurting anyone.

[ Being locked up and alone for... what was it? A week or something? Time was so difficult to keep down there. Was it even down? Who knows anymore. It's all a fucking blur to him. But the point of it all is... it had left him so much time to think. So much time to feel. To feel absolutely nothing and maybe it's stuck with him. Or maybe he had been emptied out while there. Maybe he had just been reminded that he's empty. ]

Must be nice.

My Bond with Diarmuid started as that. It was practical, simply to keep me from losing myself. I didn't trust anyone else to be able to handle me. It...has moved far beyond the practical, though. I care about him deeply...

[ It hurts to think about him for too long right now, though. He misses Diarmuid, but he needs this time alone to work through what happened to him. ]

And my other Bond...I took on for practical reasons. Flat is an idiot who was going to get himself killed. I took it upon myself to Bond with him so no one else had to. Now...I've grown attached to him. He's so afraid of losing me that it would be cruel if I didn't care about him.

[ Berserker grows quiet as he thinks of his third. Gone now...He turns to grab a necklace off of a pile of clothing nearby and clutches it in his hand. ]

I had three. I felt...I felt our Bond break the same day I was kidnapped. I cared for him, as well, because we were so similar. No one should be able to relate to someone like me, but he could...

[ The sadness returns to him as he brushes his thumb over the snarling wolf. ]

...It's unfortunate your experience hasn't been like that. If you seek another Bond, it should be with someone that cares about you and not just practicality.

[ Strange coming from the man who saw Bonds as practical while in denial of what had become of his. ]

[ He's quiet when Berserker starts explaining. Letting him. Maybe he needs to say this?? Maybe. Regardless, his gaze shifts to the dragon when he learns that there was a third bond... who is no longer here. He's... come across that a couple times already now, hasn't he? People who have lost bonds. It makes him wonder what it must feel like. To have that sudden severance happen. Makes him wonder if he would even feel anything if it did happen. Can an empty person feel the loss of something when there's nothing in there to begin with?

He does, however, chuckle softly under his breath at those words of wisdom there. ]

So when Hell freezes over. Got it.

[ Pulling a hand up to himself, he looks his bruised fingers over before he gently places that hand down to his chest. For now... he still feels his heartbeat against the palm of his hand; it's going to stop some day soon. ]

I'm sorry about your bonded. [ The third one, he means. ] I'd say maybe they'll return but... who the hell wants anyone here anyways?

[ Especially when getting tortured is apparently a thing that can happen. ]

It's selfish of me to want him to return, but I would be...grateful to get a chance to see him again, even if only long enough to say goodbye properly.

[ That's what hurt the most. Berserker puts the necklace back after a few more moments, not wanting to focus on that still sharp pain in his chest. ]

There are people that care about you. You're a drunken idiot, but against my better judgement, I care about you. You must care about me, too, if you came all this way to give me bones for my hoard and sleep in my bed.

[ Is... he getting called out?? Kinda feels like it and it's why he glances over to Berserker for just a moment before he looks back ahead, fingers gently tapping against his chest. Right over his heart. ]

Maybe I got lost and found some bones so thought, why not give them to that bloody dragon that's said to be out here?

[ That's not at all what happened but IT COULD HAVE BEEN?? ]

[ He props himself up on an elbow so he can lean over Trevor with a glare. ]

You're full of shit. And a bigger idiot than I thought if you expect me to believe that. [ He growls for a moment. ] Then why stay out here if that's the only reason you came? You gave me the bones, so you can leave.

I told you. I'm tired.

[ And he just... closes his eyes then. See? He's tired. ]

[ He grabs Trevor's chin with his free hand, still glaring down at him. ]

Then you can go be tired somewhere else. You're a bad liar, Belmont.

[ He just GROANS at that and lifts an arm up to just... not have it be smushed under Berserker's weight?? ]

Muh teef. Nyowwww.

[ Grabbing his chin like that and hurting his teeth!!! ]

[ He lets go, though that angry face doesn't go anywhere. Trevor is good at making him feel other emotions still!! ]

...Fine. Lie to yourself and say it's for other reasons, but don't insult my intelligence and lie to me about it.

[ Berserker sits up and moves to the edge of the bed, his back to the vampire. Now he's feeling worse for different reasons. ]

Or maybe I'm lying to myself, because who would be stupid enough to care for a feral beast who could kill you if they lose control?

[ Resenting his existence used to be very normal and now there's a different reasoning for it instead of just being something that shouldn't exist. Progress...? ]

Edited 2020-02-07 02:40 (UTC)

[ Rubbing at his jaw when he's let go, he watches as the dragon moves to sit at the foot of the bed and just... stares. It's only after a sigh that he comes to pull himself up into a sitting position and he just.. looks away. ]

Same can be said for me, you know. I could lose control and kill you when drinking your blood. So who could care about someone like that?

[ They're both bad with feelings and feeling worth, aren't they? ]

A fool. One who was foolish enough to believe he could be something more than a tool to be used for someone else's purpose.

[ He just really wants to stop feeling so fucking bad for once. He'd like to stop feeling at all again and let the emptiness of apathy consume him. That would feel better than this. It would be safer than letting himself be so vulnerable. ]

Now go...

[ Trevor falls silent as he listens to that and he just... stares to his hands. To his bruised fingers which still haven't fully healed yet. Same with his neck, his side. He still wears the scars of what he had been through, much as Berserker himself does. It's only after a moment that he comes to scoot a little closer on the bed, eyes looking to Berserker's back, knowing that it must hurt. ]

Then I guess we're both fools.

[ A sigh, he presses the tips of his fingers to his chest again, listening to his heartbeat. ]

I'm sorry. For a lot of things. I know it's not easy.

[ A lot of shit is not easy with what they've been through. However, he turns his head then to look to the dragon's back. ]

You're not just some bloodbag to me.

Edited 2020-02-07 03:59 (UTC)

[ The worst of his scars are covered, the darker bruises still fading. The wing slits in his shirt allow a glimpse at his scarred back, where he'd been mauled by a friend drugged and under the control of their captors. His wings are, of course, visibly scarred and still unusable. The physical wounds will heal much easier and much sooner than the unseen wounds. ]

...Even if I were, it wouldn't matter. [ The way he sits, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped, he looks so small and defeated. ] It doesn't matter if you care about me. Use me as you see fit, that's my purpose.

[ That's how it had been when he was a Servant, why should it be any different now? He'd been lying to himself that anything had changed. It just hurts now. ]

[ In the silence that follows, Trevor listens to his gentle heartbeat, tips of his fingers pressed against an opening in his shirt from the buttons. It's gentle. Soft. Thump thump thump. But he hears it. He feels it and it reminds him that he's still here. At least for now.

So, with coming to slide his way off the bed, he makes his way over to the bag of bones and, it might just look like he means to leave, as Berserker suggested.

Except he comes over with a bone in hand and gently bonks the dragon over the head with it. Eyes narrowed. Bone in hand. ]

Quit your sulking.

[ Another gentle bonk before he leans in and swings the bone around. ]

You think if I didn't give a shit about you I wouldn't have skinned these fucking bones, collected them, ignored the goddamn blood from them all, and brought them to you? No. I wouldn't have. Who the fuck does that that isn't you?

[ Tapping the tip of that bone against his temple, he huffs a sigh. ]

You're my friend and I care about you. There. I said it.

[ That is the most direct way he's been knocked out of a self-loathing cycle. It's enough to make him stop and stare indignantly at Trevor with his teeth bared. Is this why Rider's forehead flick is so effective against Waver?? It's a similar approach. For several moments, he's too stunned to say anything or even really pay attention to what the vampire says. ]

... You didn't just pick these up? [ Because that's what he expected. ] You...didn't need to do that...any of it.

[ He's wanted to tell everyone that came out here to forget about him and return to the city. That way, he'd be alone again and he could let himself go feral and die alone, as it should be. Unfortunately, he can't make himself stop caring again... ]

I'm surprised you admitted anything, you stubborn ass.

Yeah, well. Maybe I'm grumpy because I haven't fed in God knows how long.

[ But he SIGHS and drops the bone down to the dragon's lap before he just collapses on down beside him on the bed. Arms draped across his knees, a huff leaving his lips. Getting Trevor Belmont to admit he actually DOES care?? Achievement unlocked looks like it. ]

And it's fine. Was a fresh corpse anyway. Not like I had to kill it. It's just... thought it might cheer you up or at least distract you a bit. Give you something to do.

Edited 2020-02-07 05:20 (UTC)

If my blood didn't fuck you up, I would offer to let you feed right now.

[ As thanks for the bones and the admission. And maybe to make him forget about how awful he feels. He picks up the bone from his lap and runs his fingers along it. It's a decent enough distraction. ]

...Mm, it wasn't an unwelcome surprise. I'm amazed you're capable of being so thoughtful.

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