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Entry tags:
[Open & Closed] 💥 check yourself before you wreck yourself
Who: Enkidu & You
When: mid Deceuer
Where: Library, around the city, the forest
What: No bond, no glory.
Warnings: Probably angst, looming fear of magic overload
(closed prompts in comments)
Open - The library
The second when they enter the library something heavy and feverish comes over them. Something that makes them desperate, as if they want to undo the choice they have made. Maybe they do not want to explode and face death once again. Maybe they want to live and work hard enough to be able to stand next to their friend again one day.
Whatever it is, you can find Enkidu frantically searching through books and making a bit of a mess. Thing is that they’re not in a mood for anything, really. All they want is to find some way to stop the pent up magic from wrecking their body.
Open - Heading out of town
Enkidu runs as fast as their feet can carry them. Of course, they could have asked anyone to bond with them. If only for a short time. But they couldn’t, it would not be right and eventually there is no other choice left than to settle with the outcome. If they were truly going to explode they rather don’t do it in the city.
Wearing an old woollen coat, a simple pair of pants and a scarf they hurry through the streets, leaving small flowers in their wake.
“Am I close to the forests yet?”
Enkidu stops briefly and any soul can see that they’re far from okay.
“Just tell me yes or no and send me in the right direction if it is a no.”
When: mid Deceuer
Where: Library, around the city, the forest
What: No bond, no glory.
Warnings: Probably angst, looming fear of magic overload
(closed prompts in comments)
Open - The library
The second when they enter the library something heavy and feverish comes over them. Something that makes them desperate, as if they want to undo the choice they have made. Maybe they do not want to explode and face death once again. Maybe they want to live and work hard enough to be able to stand next to their friend again one day.
Whatever it is, you can find Enkidu frantically searching through books and making a bit of a mess. Thing is that they’re not in a mood for anything, really. All they want is to find some way to stop the pent up magic from wrecking their body.
Open - Heading out of town
Enkidu runs as fast as their feet can carry them. Of course, they could have asked anyone to bond with them. If only for a short time. But they couldn’t, it would not be right and eventually there is no other choice left than to settle with the outcome. If they were truly going to explode they rather don’t do it in the city.
Wearing an old woollen coat, a simple pair of pants and a scarf they hurry through the streets, leaving small flowers in their wake.
“Am I close to the forests yet?”
Enkidu stops briefly and any soul can see that they’re far from okay.
“Just tell me yes or no and send me in the right direction if it is a no.”
closed to Cas!Cu
They know very well that they shouldn't wait so long. They know they have to put on their big-clay-panties and get it over with. Thing is that their thoughts seem to be all over the place. Because Cu and Ozymandias were right, Gil would never accept it if his friend would allow an explosion to happen. But then again, would Gil allow them to replace him? And is their soul still able to grow like that of a human? All the other Heroic Spirits make it seem so easy. Just come to grow fond of one another and all troubles will be gone. You will change from a servant to someone with a life. One with hopes and dreams.
Because, in the end, no one wants to fight or kill. In the end they all want their lives and their freedom. Enkidu is quite sure that it doesn't work that way for them. They do not crave freedom because it has never been their purpose to be truly free. Their existence is tied to a purpose. Without that purpose there is no existence.
The sky is going dark when they arrive at the tattoo parlor. They knock the door softly and wait. Their body aches more than ever and they are sure there's a big crack running over their back.
no subject
When he opens the door and sees Enkidu it takes a second- the look of weariness on their face, the crack on their cheek, the magic almost crackling around them. Without waiting or big ceremonies Cú catches them be their wrist and pulls inside, into the warmth.
"Come" he closes the door behind them and his mind already seeking possible solutions for what he's seeing. Ask to charge some of the jewelry batteries? That's not going to help much. Train some spells? Better. But those are thoughts. "It's a good place to escape the cold." A simple welcome but concern is clearly visible on his face. Small talk can go and rot, he cuts to the chase.
"Enkidu, you look unwell"
no subject
Their body aches all over and they utter an uncomfortable sound when Cu pulls them inside. It would be dangerous to keep them in here for too long and the second they are inside it is obvious that they are restless.
"It is not the cold... In a way the cold feels pleasant to me."
Enkidu shakes their head and once again all these doubts start to pop up. Is this a good idea? And Gil? What about him?
"I am close to this exploding state. That is why I have come to ask you something..."
no subject
"I will honour your request whatever it will be." It might be warm here but it's freezing cold that coils inside him, like dread. If they choose death, he just promised to assist them. But in defining moment like this, it would be wrong to offer anything less.
no subject
"I do this for my friend. Gil would not want a broken weapon."
Enkidu doesn't move at all when Cu places a hand on their cheek.
"I want you to Bond with me."
no subject
"How bold—" It's praise, really. That's not what Cú ever expected to hear when he told them to seek him out, but it makes sense. It's a logical step, and it's incredible progress for someone like Enkidu, who'd rather be left alone, if not with the one person they care the most. "He wouldn't want a broken friend, either."
Or maybe Gilgamesh wouldn't care about that? Who knows? Certainly not Cú, so he isn't going to assume. But it's a small jab at the whole treating themselves as only a weapon, only a tool. If that friendship is as important as it looks, the other man clearly must have thought of Enkidu as a person. And for that man, they chose life, a weighty decision— and there's only one conclusion, for Cú is a man of his word. "Very well, I shall answer your determination and agree."
It's a sign of a strange trust that has formed between them. Not to mention, an honour, even if it's ultimately a matter of convenience for someone else.
no subject
"I am truly sorry, for my reasons are merely selfish and born out of a hope to see my friend again and to face him the best I can."
And it is a bit foolish to hope. After all, who says that the Coven would ever summon their friend?
"But I thank you."
It would mean they'd share a connection to a Heroic Spirit they barely know. And it isn't that Enkidu is scared of sharing but what they feel is mostly heavy, complicated and full of nostalgia.
"I will put my trust in you then. If you are willing to trust me as well."
Their voice is soft, barely a whisper. There is no certainty in it, no regret, nothing. It is as neutral as everything else.
no subject
"I never go back on a given word." And he did promise to help them, it's not a promise to take lightly. "Worry not, I understand your reasons. I'll help you survive for as long as necessary."
So until Enkidu's friends show up here, or they find someone they truly want to Bond with. On one hand, it stands in contradiction to what a Bond is supposed to be, but when opening up and connecting to other people is necessary for survival— there isn't time and place for glorifying it.
Still, if this is meant as but a temporary arrangement, Caster finds himself curious about what made Enkidu make a leap this far. "Did the other options not work out for you?"
no subject
They also know that bonding another witch will still end up in a certain magic imbalance. It isn't something that follows the rules this place has made. Enkidu should turn towards one of the beasts.
"If they had worked out for me...I would have been able to survive. I would not have been here, standing in front of you to ask for this..." There's a tired undertone to their voice. "...while it feels as if my body is falling apart... But I am not good at wielding magic and I am not good at separating myself from my existence as a servant to Chaldea. Or the purpose of my true existence, for that matter. In a way, there is a certain solace in knowing what you are capable of and the strength you possess. I know that now."
no subject
"Throw away the notion of `should` and `shouldn't`. You're taking care of yourself first, that's what matters." And here he is passing over that old advice. In the end, the native people, while all possessing talent to some extent, make a choice to expose themselves for workings of magic and honing their skills in it. If they don't do that, they get to their live their lives without many magic-related problems. But Mirrorbound Witches don't get that choice. "You don't have to separate yourself from being Chaldea's Servant to do that."
Why would they even get that idea? Is it because of how many Servants here chose their True Names? Many of them were already using them back in Chaldea anyway— or is the willingness of some to embrace the new life?
no subject
"I should have asked one of the beasts. But I would not know who." The only beast they knew very well was the other Cu. And they don't want to be the one who'd damage his Bond. And in a way they don't want to damage this Cu's Bond either. It is the biggest mess they've ever found themselves in.
"I will try my best to accommodate you the best I can."
Enkidu hums softly and shakes their head afterwards.
"All Servants wish to have a life where they can choose their own friends. Would you truly want to give your Bond up to return to Chaldea?"
no subject
"Chaldea, huh. One hell of a good Master, made that place what it was-" Good times, good memories, it's a blessing he was allowed to keep those memories "Should they call on me again, I'm sure I will respond to it" the Heroic Spirit, Cu Chulainn that is. Another copy in a Servant vessel. Having already a different "him" around was always a good reminder of the workings of that system.
"All the time here, and i never thought that a 'me' that is 'me' here could truly return there- but you know what I thought?" It's a rhetoric question, he doesn't wait for an answer and follows immediately "If we're alive, that means our records, they could get updated, no? Maybe I can add something cool to my repertoire, imagine our Master's and others faces when they would see that".
But Caster you never could do that- ha, surprise, you have not seen everything of me yet!, A silly, but strangely hopeful scenario. Another way to make the best of their time here.
no subject
Perhaps there is a certain safety in not knowing. They would not know how to live a life without a purpose and they would not know how to be a proper weapon without their abilities. All of this is a mess.
"I do want to figure this out... I do want to know if this is truly a life or merely a summon. It matters..." Their voice sounds tired and their body starts to ache a lot now. "...Cu...I think we need to haste... Otherwise it will become needlessly messy... I..."
no subject
"Bond potion." he explains "A temporary one. But we can use it before we secure someone in Coven for the ritual."
With all those preparations for the festival and parade— there is no telling how crowded the schedule will be. Not to mention it will give Enkidu a glimpse of what they are signing for.
no subject
"Yes."
There was an entire ceremony, they remember something like that. Why would such a thing be necessary if bonds are only meant to survive? Once again the look on Enkidu's face changes to a completely neutral one. There's no way to indicate they're angry or happy or in pain. They merely reach for the glass.
"What will happen after? Will these cracks disappear?"
no subject
Cú raises the glass as if in toast and drinks the content immediately, waiting for the connection to forge. While looking like water it has a strange taste to it. Not unpleasant, more like— ah that's right, like medicine with a bit of honey. The hint of sweetness not covering the strange aftertaste.
no subject
They raise the glass as well and carefully drink its content. It tastes weird and Enkidu frowns. Still, they swallow slowly, somewhat reluctantly as well.
"What is it that I need to feel I..." Oh. Wait. "I see."
In a way it feels as if things are evening out. As if there's some balance they were seeking but couldn't really find. So this is a bond? Should it feel this way? This is...okay. A little.
no subject
It's... different how it feels, so far all his Bonds were to Monsters, so the ritual (even a temporary one) included a feeling of having his magic tugged on and pulled. This time the energy comes his way— with Enkidu being close to overload balance requires him to take the surplus. And it works because there are two other presences benefiting from it.
On a long exhale he reaches spontaneously to try and catch Enkidu's hand. Instinctual reaction, coming from how simple touch helps to even out everything. "It starts slowly, and we might feel a little lightheaded— until it settles"
no subject
And despite the mixed feelings they have about doing this, despite the fact they feel as if they are betraying their best friend, they allow themselves to give in to that relief. Slowly they move to sit down on the floor and rest their back against the wall.
"Hmm, I am aware of it." There is the smallest hint of a smile on their face. "I owe you my thanks."
Their skin tingles a little while their body gets used to this sort of exchange. It is as if they are able to feel him the way they have always been able to feel others. Cu has become a certain sort of presence. And it is the first time they are able to sense someone like that. And that is what they say.
"I can sense you."