[Open & Closed] 💥 check yourself before you wreck yourself

[enkidoh]

Who: Enkidu & You
When: mid Deceuer
Where: Library, around the city, the forest
What: No bond, no glory.
Warnings: Probably angst, looming fear of magic overload
(closed prompts in comments)

Open - The library
The second when they enter the library something heavy and feverish comes over them. Something that makes them desperate, as if they want to undo the choice they have made. Maybe they do not want to explode and face death once again. Maybe they want to live and work hard enough to be able to stand next to their friend again one day.

Whatever it is, you can find Enkidu frantically searching through books and making a bit of a mess. Thing is that they’re not in a mood for anything, really. All they want is to find some way to stop the pent up magic from wrecking their body.

Open - Heading out of town
Enkidu runs as fast as their feet can carry them. Of course, they could have asked anyone to bond with them. If only for a short time. But they couldn’t, it would not be right and eventually there is no other choice left than to settle with the outcome. If they were truly going to explode they rather don’t do it in the city.

Wearing an old woollen coat, a simple pair of pants and a scarf they hurry through the streets, leaving small flowers in their wake.

“Am I close to the forests yet?”

Enkidu stops briefly and any soul can see that they’re far from okay.

“Just tell me yes or no and send me in the right direction if it is a no.”

Comments

[futhark]

Making the very choice is what Cú considers newfound determination. Especially since not even two weeks, earlier Enkidu seemed resigned to wasting away.

"I never go back on a given word." And he did promise to help them, it's not a promise to take lightly. "Worry not, I understand your reasons. I'll help you survive for as long as necessary."

So until Enkidu's friends show up here, or they find someone they truly want to Bond with. On one hand, it stands in contradiction to what a Bond is supposed to be, but when opening up and connecting to other people is necessary for survival— there isn't time and place for glorifying it.

Still, if this is meant as but a temporary arrangement, Caster finds himself curious about what made Enkidu make a leap this far. "Did the other options not work out for you?"

[enkidoh]

"Something like this should not be meant for mere survival. I am well aware it is more than just an exchange of magic. And you know that even better."

They also know that bonding another witch will still end up in a certain magic imbalance. It isn't something that follows the rules this place has made. Enkidu should turn towards one of the beasts.

"If they had worked out for me...I would have been able to survive. I would not have been here, standing in front of you to ask for this..." There's a tired undertone to their voice. "...while it feels as if my body is falling apart... But I am not good at wielding magic and I am not good at separating myself from my existence as a servant to Chaldea. Or the purpose of my true existence, for that matter. In a way, there is a certain solace in knowing what you are capable of and the strength you possess. I know that now."

[futhark]

So all the ways have failed...

"Throw away the notion of `should` and `shouldn't`. You're taking care of yourself first, that's what matters." And here he is passing over that old advice. In the end, the native people, while all possessing talent to some extent, make a choice to expose themselves for workings of magic and honing their skills in it. If they don't do that, they get to their live their lives without many magic-related problems. But Mirrorbound Witches don't get that choice. "You don't have to separate yourself from being Chaldea's Servant to do that."

Why would they even get that idea? Is it because of how many Servants here chose their True Names? Many of them were already using them back in Chaldea anyway— or is the willingness of some to embrace the new life?

[enkidoh]

And still, insecurity strikes. There's an urge to walk off and seek another resolve. A familiar or just simple pleasure. Yet, they focus again when Cu starts to speak.

"I should have asked one of the beasts. But I would not know who." The only beast they knew very well was the other Cu. And they don't want to be the one who'd damage his Bond. And in a way they don't want to damage this Cu's Bond either. It is the biggest mess they've ever found themselves in.

"I will try my best to accommodate you the best I can."

Enkidu hums softly and shakes their head afterwards.

"All Servants wish to have a life where they can choose their own friends. Would you truly want to give your Bond up to return to Chaldea?"

[futhark]

That question makes Cu pause. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall. Enkidu makes a good point about Bonding with a Monster, and he will return to that later. But right now he's overcome with nostalgia for that long time spent at the end of the world with Ritsuka, Mash and others.

"Chaldea, huh. One hell of a good Master, made that place what it was-" Good times, good memories, it's a blessing he was allowed to keep those memories "Should they call on me again, I'm sure I will respond to it" the Heroic Spirit, Cu Chulainn that is. Another copy in a Servant vessel. Having already a different "him" around was always a good reminder of the workings of that system.

"All the time here, and i never thought that a 'me' that is 'me' here could truly return there- but you know what I thought?" It's a rhetoric question, he doesn't wait for an answer and follows immediately "If we're alive, that means our records, they could get updated, no? Maybe I can add something cool to my repertoire, imagine our Master's and others faces when they would see that".

But Caster you never could do that- ha, surprise, you have not seen everything of me yet!, A silly, but strangely hopeful scenario. Another way to make the best of their time here.

[enkidoh]

That last answer isn't reassuring at all and Enkidu frowns a little, wondering if they should respond and continue this discussion. Maybe they need to put it to rest and see where this gets them. The records would tell one day. If they'd change it would mean that they have lived a life, if not...it is merely another summon.

Perhaps there is a certain safety in not knowing. They would not know how to live a life without a purpose and they would not know how to be a proper weapon without their abilities. All of this is a mess.

"I do want to figure this out... I do want to know if this is truly a life or merely a summon. It matters..." Their voice sounds tired and their body starts to ache a lot now. "...Cu...I think we need to haste... Otherwise it will become needlessly messy... I..."

[futhark]

Caster turns around and approaches a cabinet, after a moment of checking the shelves, he fetches two shot glasses and puts them on the table. Next, he takes a small flask attached along with various pouches to his belt and pours the content. Then he returns hanging Enkidu one of the glasses. The liquid is odorless and colorless—

"Bond potion." he explains "A temporary one. But we can use it before we secure someone in Coven for the ritual."

With all those preparations for the festival and parade— there is no telling how crowded the schedule will be. Not to mention it will give Enkidu a glimpse of what they are signing for.

[enkidoh]

Enkidu nods shortly and moves to lean against the wall, watching the other as he fetches a tiny flask and pours its contents in tinier glasses. It looks like water.

"Yes."

There was an entire ceremony, they remember something like that. Why would such a thing be necessary if bonds are only meant to survive? Once again the look on Enkidu's face changes to a completely neutral one. There's no way to indicate they're angry or happy or in pain. They merely reach for the glass.

"What will happen after? Will these cracks disappear?"

[futhark]

"Hopefully? But that I do not know for sure. If they are more akin to wounds on your body, rather than a manifestation of your magic's state, you should see a healer."

Cú raises the glass as if in toast and drinks the content immediately, waiting for the connection to forge. While looking like water it has a strange taste to it. Not unpleasant, more like— ah that's right, like medicine with a bit of honey. The hint of sweetness not covering the strange aftertaste.

[enkidoh]

"I am made of clay. Perhaps I should visit a pottery instead."

They raise the glass as well and carefully drink its content. It tastes weird and Enkidu frowns. Still, they swallow slowly, somewhat reluctantly as well.

"What is it that I need to feel I..." Oh. Wait. "I see."

In a way it feels as if things are evening out. As if there's some balance they were seeking but couldn't really find. So this is a bond? Should it feel this way? This is...okay. A little.

[futhark]

Cú chuckles and hint of his amusement at this clever joke travels across their forming link as they slowly tune to one another.

It's... different how it feels, so far all his Bonds were to Monsters, so the ritual (even a temporary one) included a feeling of having his magic tugged on and pulled. This time the energy comes his way— with Enkidu being close to overload balance requires him to take the surplus. And it works because there are two other presences benefiting from it.

On a long exhale he reaches spontaneously to try and catch Enkidu's hand. Instinctual reaction, coming from how simple touch helps to even out everything. "It starts slowly, and we might feel a little lightheaded— until it settles"

[enkidoh]

The cracks do not entirely heal but there's no reason for them to spread either. But the strain disappears, that thing that makes their body ache slowly ebbs away.

And despite the mixed feelings they have about doing this, despite the fact they feel as if they are betraying their best friend, they allow themselves to give in to that relief. Slowly they move to sit down on the floor and rest their back against the wall.

"Hmm, I am aware of it." There is the smallest hint of a smile on their face. "I owe you my thanks."

Their skin tingles a little while their body gets used to this sort of exchange. It is as if they are able to feel him the way they have always been able to feel others. Cu has become a certain sort of presence. And it is the first time they are able to sense someone like that. And that is what they say.

"I can sense you."