middaeg | [closed] and should the sky be filled with fire and smoke

Alright, wait up.

[Zack doesn't need much convincing. His wings open and it's a quick climb up the side of the building before he reaches the roof and casually comes to sit next to her (he doesn't care for full-flight just yet). One foot rests on the bridge of the ledge while the other dangles.]

So. Penny for your thoughts?

[She nodded, and moved back to give him room. Once he came up, she settled to sit by him again.

She could feel their wings brush against each other, and sighed. Maybe it was the cold, but she wanted to cuddle against him so, so badly.]

Just...I'm not sure it's a thought exactly. Just...I had my only bond go home recently.

[Zack turns his head to look at her with a surprised expression. Then he frowns slightly, lips thinned in a line.]

... You too, huh?

[His wing closest to her opens and wraps around her shoulders and he offers an arm up so she can cuddle in.]

Come here.

[She sighed quietly. If it was anyone else, she would have been stubborn and protested; with Zack...

It's too easy to scoot over and lean against him, closing her eyes. He's big, warm, and he's not likely to tell anyone else about how vulnerable she is right now. Or at least, that's the hope.

Her wing curls around, touching the underside of his wing, as her tail swishes around, draping over both of their laps.]

Sorry for your loss.

Yeah. I'm sorry too.

[With her curled up against him now Zack lets out a content sigh. There's something deeply wounded inside of him still. He looks off towards the horizon.]

Not sure if it's the same for you, but... Kind of feels like I'm missing something inside of my chest now. It's annoying.

[She felt much of the same. There's a hole in her still, and it's a feeling she's not looking forward to. She doesn't look out; instead she closes her eyes. It's warm with their fur and feathers at least.]

It's much the same. It's as if I've lost a piece of myself, and I don't know what it is, or how to get it back.

Maybe bonding was a mistake.

[He sighs a little when she comments because he sort of feels the same way. It's probably why he didn't start off with an offer to bond with her because they're in the same boat so it would make sense...

Because bonding leaves you vulnerable...]

We're fully changed now, aren't we? It's been about ... eight months give or take.

[What a thought.]

[She'd be quick to point out that a monster-monster bond wasn't ideal. They'd likely set each other off, with both of them going feral.

Though...she wouldn't mind a different kind of bond with him. Not that she was willing to admit it. They're both feeling a little raw.]

Seven for me. Which...I am glad to have it settled, if so. The transformations were painful.

[It's true. Monster-monster bonds can be dangerous. But he'd face that tide if he had to in the long run. Mostly because he does feel something for Caren, even if he's not sure where it might lead.

This hollow feeling in his chest is just too wide right now.]

So at least that part of all of this is over with. Bonds help with the changes. But aside from that. Maybe it's fine.

[For now he feels like he wants to avoid that feeling as well. Bonding only to have it ripped out of him later on? It's not fun. It's harrowing.]

[She's not sure where it will lead either. Disaster likely, if her past romantic history is any indication. And he deserves better then that, even with them both with hollow feelings in their chests.]

Maybe so. Maybe it would have been more painful without them.

I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore. We're past it.

[There's a moment of gentle silence that starts just then and Zack chooses to pull her a little closer, his hand coming to ruffle through some her of feathers gently.]

Hey.

[He smiles, feeling the cold wintery wind on his face.]

As much as it feels like shit right now, we're still here. Alive and together. You're still cute as hell and smiles look better on you than anything else. So keep trying to smile, alright?

[It's gonna be okay.]

[She goes with the lean, letting him preen her as he likes. But his voice has her look up at him, and listen.

And...for it, she rubs her cheek against his chest.]

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to hit on me.

[She's joking. It's not big, but it's there, a faint smile. Which is soon to fade as the topic becomes more serious.]

We have an intense...physical chemistry. It did take some time for us to act on it. However-we don't know each other Zack. This...whatever this is...may not work.

Or one of us may vanish.

[She's being a killjoy.]

[She's still pretty hurt, Zack can see that. But what she says is true too. They're physically attracted to each other and he can't deny that. But they really haven't had the time to really know each other. He doesn't want to label it as friends with benefits because he feels it's probably at least a little more complicated than that.]

Well. In the time that we do have, do you want us to know more about each other?

[It's intense physical chemistry, for sure. It doesn't feel like a friends with benefits, especially because...it took so much for them to finally get to the benefit part, honestly.]

I don't know.

[She's honest at least.]

There is a part of me that does. However-things don't seem to go well for those I've been interested in.

[Zack casually shrugs as tugs her close. The last thing he wants is to make it complicated for her. Or somehow fall into that "doesn't seem to go well" category she seems to think she has.]

What, like I'll get a string of bad luck? Can't be any worse than what I get on my own. But.

[A small sigh.]

Friends, then.

[She sighs. She's not happy about it but-it feels like the smart thing to do. The right thing to do.

Unhappiness is something she's familiar with.]

Friends.

[Gently, she presses a hand on his thigh, and squeezes gently.]

It's not a string of bad luck. Nothing like that. However-they leave. Not because they want to but-they leave.

It seems better not to take the risk. I'm sure you'll be happier with someone else.

[Zack frowns but he rests his chin on the top of her head for a moment.]

I've been here since the first group of mirrorbound showed up. And don't have anywhere to leave to. So ...

[He mutters.]

But. I get it. You're being careful.

And I don't have anyone to go home to.

[She sighed, brushing her hand over his thigh. It was tempting to say yes, start afresh, especially with him cuddling her like this.

But...her heart still hurt with the familiar emptiness.]

My answer may change. I am not trying to instill you with false hope. Just- it's possible. Or you may someone more suitable.

Certainly less fuzzy.

[There's a slight sting of rejection inside of his chest but he can't really blame her. He understands her reasons for wanting to protect herself. Even if some part wonders if he would have been enough to protect her.

For now, bring friends is fine.]

I guess we'll have to see. I'll try to not get my hopes up, I guess.

[Who says he doesn't like her fuzz???]

I'll try not to think about it.

All right.

[She reached up though, trying to touch his cheek. She might not make it though since, well, height difference.]

You know it has nothing to do with you, yes? You're kind. Flirtatious, but a good man. Any woman would be lucky to date you.

[Zack lets out a small laugh and then bends so she can touch him and maybe ends up nuzzling a single kiss to her temple. Then he goes back.]

I don't know about that. Looks like I've had more rejections than luck, lately.

[There's a pang in her chest at the kiss. It'd be just so easy if it was all physical. So, so easy.

She sighed, and squirmed so she could kneel on his thighs, facing him. Space, what space.]

You mean with your bonded leaving and myself?

[A pause. And her eyes narrowed.]

Or have you been asking out girls all day?

[Zack lifts an arm when she moves! He looks a bit surprised at her expression.]

There was one other person I asked to bond with me. She said no.

[Is Caren jealous? Or is this something else??]

[She huffs. She's. Yes. A little jealous.

Her eyes narrow slightly.]

Who?

[Zack just call her out on this, she's being unreasonable.]

Caren...

[She just declined his offer, what is this !!!]

Her name's Lightning. But I don't get why you're giving me that look. You just said you'd rather not be with me.

Edited 2020-01-12 02:36 (UTC)

[closed] and should the sky be filled with fire and smoke

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