middaeg | fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

Who: Rich and others
When: Morning and noonish, November 15
Where: Jeremy, Rich, and Michael's home
What: Rich and Jeremy's Bonding ceremony and celebration
Warnings: none

i. Bonding (Closed)

[Jeremy shows up at Rich's door bright and early the next morning. Despite how Rich claimed that suits weren't required, Jeremy still put together the nicest-looking thing in his wardrobe. His hair is slicked back, his skin is clearer than usual (where did he find concealer?), and he's used up a good chunk of his precious deodorant that he brought with him through the mirror.

The SQUIP had a lot of drawbacks, being an evil mind-controlling robot and all, but it taught Jeremy a valuable lesson: Jeremy cleans up good.

When Rich opens the door, Jeremy's waiting expectantly, hands behind his back and bouncing on his toes. It's clear that he's been there a while.]

You ready to go?

ii. Announcement (Open)

[To announce their Bond and to celebrate, Rich and Jeremy have opened the house up for any and everyone who wants to check it out--both quietly not mentioning how empty the space seems with Justine's recent disappearance. At Rich's suggestion, they've sent an open invitation out on the watch network to anyone who wants to drop by and offer congratulations.

Their budget isn't huge, but Jeremy's insistence on hospitality means that they've got enough finger food and drinks for people to try out. There's no alcohol.

Jeremy's still nervous even though the deed is done, so he's bustling around constantly to make sure that everything is perfectly neat, that they've got enough seats, and that nobody needs a refill. In his rush, bringing a hot tray of cookies from the oven straight onto a serving tray, he bumps into you. As he turns around to see who he's plowed over, he rushes to apologize. The niceties run into themselves before he even sees your face.]

Shoot--I'm sorry--thanks for coming!

iii. Wildcard (Open)

[Jeremy and Rich are both available to talk about their new bond with your character. Let me know if you want a specific situation!]

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[That doesn't do much to settle Jeremy's nerves--not because he thinks Rich will be too loud in his own head, but the other way around. Jeremy's still not sure why Rich is so open to inviting someone in his brain after everything, but Rich has Bonded before. He knows what he's doing. Right?

Jeremy has no such warming runes, but Jeremy barely notices the cold. He keeps at Rich's heels as they go, even if that means taking short quick steps instead of his normal long, awkward strides.

When they get to an entryway, Jeremy stops short, tugging at Rich's shoulder.]

Hey. Are you sure you wanna do this?

What? Why wouldn't I want to? You're my friend, Jeremy. I want to keep you safe. I don't think there's anything wrong with the two of us having a bond, unless you do.

[He wouldn't doubt there could be a reason for the two of them not to go through with this, but he can't imagine it being more important than Jeremy not blowing up.]

[Jeremy didn't seem to expect that answer. His cheeks, which had gone back to normal, flooded with red again.]

O-okay. If you're sure, then, yeah. Definitely. Lead the way.

[Rich is a little surprised to see that blush, but he decides to brush it off for now. No sense getting too sappy when they're just about to head in for something that Jeremy still considers a wedding.

Once they enter the coven, an older woman approaches them. When Rich offers their names, she checks a notebook that she seems to have hovering in midair, and, satisfied, she leads them to a private room, sparsely decorated, with a small, round table in the middle and a goblet filled with a silvery liquid.

She instructs them bothe to say whatever they'd like to before they take a drink from the chalice. Rich offers a careful smile to Jeremy.]

Last chance to object, Heere. Might as well give you an out before I start rambling.

[If Rich had walked straight into the coven, self-assured and apparently devoted to Jeremy, Jeremy would be protesting like hell. Instead, strangely, the more chances Rich gives him to bail, the less Jeremy wants to.]

No, Rich. I'm sure. You deserve way more from me than a mouthful of gallium.

[He adds in a whisper.]

But... you start. I didn't write anything down.

Putting me on the spot? I didn't write anything either.

[He cackles as the witch looks down her nose at him before clearing his throat, then reaching out to carefully take Jeremy's other hand without jabbing him with his talons.]

I... don't even know where to start with you, Jeremy. I thought after everything you'd gone through thanks to me, it'd be a miracle if you ever talked to me again. When you talked to me in the hospital, I thought it was a fluke or something. It didn't count.

But... it kept happening. You kept giving me chance after chance that I know I didn't deserve. You didn't treat me like a charity case either. It felt like you wanted to talk to me for the sake of actually talking to me, instead of for any sort of credit. And I think just being treated... normally, without any expectations, really helped me.

There's a lot more I could say, about the future, but we already know that's some paradox bullshit we're not supposed to get into. And it doesn't really matter? I think... I can't predict how we're going to feel about each other, and if it'll be the same as what I remember. You're always helping me learn things I forgot about myself, and maybe this time around, I'll remember new things.

...I hope no matter what, you'll still be willing to keep giving me these chances to prove that you're important to me. I... know that's probably something you're still not used to hearing, but you're important, Heere. You're worthwhile. You're kind of everything I want in a friend.

And uh... I'm going to get sappier, but I think a friend like you deserves something to kind of commemorate, you know, everything? So...

[Rich takes one hand back to fumble in his vest pocket, eventually bringing out a shimmering blue jeweled pin, glowing faintly in the dim light.]

Ha, it even matches your flowers, huh? I... no matter what happens, when you leave this place, or when I do, this is gonna represent the memories we make here. And no matter how it ends, I just... hope this will hold happy memories for you, and you can look at it and focus on the good instead of all... the messy stuff that happens in our heads.

So I guess... just thanks, Jeremy. I hope that I can show you how grateful I am to have a life with you in it.

[Rich peters off, face flushed red as he gently presses the pin into Jeremy's palm. Despite his rambling, though, he's smiling hopefully, apparently relieved he got what he wanted to say out.]

[Jeremy's extremely aware of what he's supposed to do, and without meaning to, he's tuning out to the first words Rich says as he desperately tries to figure out his own script. It's not on purpose. When he realizes he's doing it, he frowns at himself and focuses intently on what Rich is saying.

That's a mistake.

Post-SQUIP Rich has always been honest with Jeremy, but never on this level. It's hard to even believe it's honesty, given how kind Rich is sounding, but in this situation who would lie? The more Rich talks, the more Jeremy's entranced and disbelieving. He hasn't come up with his own speech yet and thank goodness. He'd be forgetting all the words he planned.

Jeremy doesn't reach out to take the pin. It's not until Rich pushes it into his hand that Jeremy snaps out of it. Silent, Jeremy pulls Rich in for a hug. It's the first he's initiated with Rich here and it's desperately, flabbergastingly tight. His hand balls up around the pin Rich gives him as he squeezes the breath out of Rich with no apparent intention of letting go.

After a moment, Rich might feel a wet spot on his shoulder where Jeremy's leaned over and buried his face.]

[Rich didn't really know what he was expecting. A smile, a bit of gratitude spoken before they both drink the potion... likely nothing more than that. Jeremy is passionate, sure, but shy, and he likely wouldn't say anything until they were safely at home about Rich's stupid rambling, if he actually had anything to say.

He certainly wasn't expecting a hug, considering Jeremy's wariness over contact before... and not one so tight. He stands there stiffly for a moment, until he feels his shoulder getting damp, and he sucks in breath through his teeth, reaching up to rub Jeremy's back.]

Hey, hey... it's alright, Jeremy, it's okay... dammit, don't make me start sobbing too, my mascara'll run.

[It's not even a good joke, but it's all Rich has right now to keep the dam on his emotions from breaking.]

[Jeremy keeps going back over what Rich has said, but any time he latches onto a bit of it, he gets shaken up all over again.

Jeremy doesn't believe any of it. Not that he's even the bare minimum of acceptable to be a friend, not after what he's done, and definitely not desirable in any sense of the word.

And calling him important is...

The SQUIP used to tell Jeremy how important he was all the time, but it worked so well because no one else would say it.

Jeremy tries to muster up some burbling words of gratefulness but he winds up crying audibly. He wants to sink into the ground and disappear, but for once he isn't thinking about how the stranger in the room is looking at him. He's only here, with Rich, and it's only the two of them, really.

A part of Jeremy realizes how desperately alone he's felt. He didn't realize it until Rich said something to make that feeling go away.

Obviously none of that comes out of his mouth.]

[If Jeremy isn't paying the woman any mind, than Rich won't either. He just continues rubbing Jeremy's back, a soothing, repetitive motion, to try to help Jeremy cling onto something instead of whatever is making him so upset.

When that doesn't work, though, he leans in a little so he can mumble into Jeremy's ear. over the audible sobbing.]

Hey. Do you want to skip the rest of this and just drink the potion? Then you can tell me whatever you want, and no one else has to hear, okay? It's going to be okay, Jere. I'll be here.

I'll always be here, now. If you want me to be.

That sounds... really, really good.

[Jeremy's voice is still strained and oddly squeaky, his throat tight. He finally loosens his death grip on Rich's torso, letting go with a hand to wipe at his face.]

Thanks, Rich. I...

[For a second the word "love" is there on the tip of his tongue, lingering where there wasn't even a hint of it a few minutes ago. Maybe it could come out natural and not mean anything important, but now that Jeremy's hesitated, he's making a conscious choice to say it or not.

He errs on the side of "not." He doesn't want to sound like a freak.

Even if Rich might not take it that way.

Jeremy needs to stop thinking. He finally looks to the witch, his eyes still wet.]

Can I drink first?

[Rich has no idea what was just barely left unsaid, but even if he was, it wouldn't matter. Keeping Jeremy calm is his priority right now.

After a moment, when the Coven member, who has been watching all of this with a look of confused concern, finally offers a hesitant nod, Rich reaches out to grab the goblet, holding it out for Jeremy.]

There you go. It doesn't really taste like anything, so don't worry. You shouldn't feel anything until I drink too.

Thanks.

[Jeremy says it automatically. He wipes at his eyes one last time before taking the goblet and drinking.

He's not sure how much to take. He guesstimates half, then lowers the cup, swallowing hard.

Instead of handing it off to Rich, he shakes his head a little.]

Wait--wait. I've gotta sa--I should--I need to say something too.

You don't, though. I already told you you could tell me whatever you wanted when we're bonded...

[Still, he doesn't drink yet. He can wait for Jeremy's permission, if he really wants to say something now.]

[Jeremy's still shaking his head. It felt different to have Rich tell him those things out loud, publicly. He deserves the same, at least as best as Jeremy can give it to him.]

No. All right. First of all. I mean--I'm gonna be saying stuff that's pretty obvious but I should still say it.

You're the coolest guy. In... school? [He runs a wet hand through his hair.] That sounds stupid but let me--you're--not like cool like Chill points. I don't mean that. Cool like you've got the most character of anyone I know? A moral backbone or whatever.

I know better than to judge you by what you did when you were SQUIPped but I seriously underestimated you for the entire time I've known you. 'Cause you're not at all who the SQUIP tried to make you to be, right? You're actually this passionate, strong, um, radically kind person. Not radical like TMNT. Radical like it was an act of rebellion for you to stay yourself through everything and find ways to define yourself outside of the SQUIP, and outside of high school in general.

I really admire you. There are a lot of things I'm still asking myself and trying to find answers for and you've already got them down pat. You don't need to ask yourself if you're doing the right thing or not because you inherently know.

You're really smart, and confident--not in the fake-swagger way. More like "strong in the real way." You're mature and sometimes you seem--untouchable--and it's okay if you're not. I mean, I want to be there for you when you're... not. I don't know if I can be the kind of friend that you deserve but I want to try as long as you'll have me.

[Afraid that he's rambling, Jeremy finally holds the goblet out for Rich.]

Edited 2019-11-19 05:34 (UTC)

[Rich doesn't know what exactly he was expecting, when he paused and gave Jeremy a chance to speak. It probably wasn't this. It wasn't genuine compliments, and not just that. Compliments that would have made Rich's heart ache before, compliments his SQUIP had promised he'd be able to gain one day.

He should hate being called cool, but Jeremy says it so earnestly... says everything so earnestly, even things Rich was still trying to get himself to believe. He can't believe Jeremy really thinks so highly of him, and of what he did to be someone no longer controlled.

He was so afraid he'd never know who he really was... and here Jeremy was, saying that he already figured it out.

Rich reaches out to take the cup, giving Jeremy a wobbly smile, tears in the corners of his own eyes.]

Idiot... told you you'd make my mascara run.

[He wants to thank Jeremy, but he really doesn't know how to, and he's afraid if he tries, one or both of them will cry again, and the poor Coven witch has already been through enough. Instead, he just takes a drink from the goblet, and within moments, Jeremy should feel a flood of gratitude coming from somewhere in the back of his mind. Rich smiles a little wider, feeling the Bond open up properly.]

[Without meaning to, Jeremy automatically clamps down on that feeling. He can tell it's not from his own mind, and deep down he believes that the emotion is therefore dangerous.

Jeremy doesn't look defensive on the outside. He gives Rich his own wobbly smile.]

Is that it?

[He asks it in a hush, nearly a whisper.]

[Rich feels that slight push back, and for a moment, he eases off. It is definitely a strange feeling to get used to, so he can hardly blame Jeremy for reacting poorly, considering their baggage.]

Yeah, that's it. Did you feel it?

[The witch, apparently short on time, suggests they can wait outside the room to adjust. Rich nods and thanks her before guiding Jeremy out into the hall.]

[Jeremy nods, letting Rich walk him out.]

So that's--we're really--it happened so fast.

[Rich isn't getting much over the new Bond until Jeremy relaxes again.]

Yeah, it's pretty quick... the way most fake weddings should be, huh?

[He leads Jeremy out of the hall, out of the Coven entirely. He can talk to them more later about magic lessons and the like, but he can tell why Jeremy is so reserved.]

Hey, it's okay. I know... it's a lot to get used to.

[There's something questioning in Jeremy's thoughts as he wonders how Rich means that, but he doesn't voice any concerns.]

It's okay. It's fine. Uh. How did your first one go, before? You never told me about that.

[He's still not mentioning Justine by name.]

It went... really well. Once I got used to someone being able to... hear everything, and could trust they weren't going to destroy my life with it like the SQUIP did... it was good.

...It felt safe.

[He desperately wants Jeremy to feel the same way when he gets used to this.]

Ah.

[Jeremy knows Rich is focusing on that aspect of it for Jeremy's benefit, but still, it's a good gesture.]

That sounds really nice, Rich.

When does the mind stuff start working?

[It's certainly not just for Jeremy's benefit. It's something that also helped Rich a lot too... along with the feeling that he was doing something to keep the person he was Bonded to safe.

But, oh, that's... worrying. Rich frowns, walking with Jeremy a little faster, hoping to get him somewhere private so they can talk.]

It... well, it's already there. You kind of just... pushed me out a bit. It's okay, I know it was probably a bad feeling.

[Jeremy trots after him, speeding up to keep pace.]

What? No, I didn't!

[He's had enough talks with Rich in their own world to remember the "gaslighting" concept (and how manipulation tactics in general are both bad and a trigger), so after only a couple seconds of hesitation, he follows up.]

I mean, I didn't think I did? I didn't mean to!

fellas is it gay if you can magically read your best bros thoughts (OPEN)

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